Author: Sparkle Itamashii

Title: Clandestine Revelations

Warnings: Respect the "R" rating. (I hate the new rating system so I'm sticking with the old one!) Please see my profile for details.

Disclaimer: Digimon and its characters, settings and plot are NOT MINE.

Chapter Seventeen

I closed the door to the bathroom and sank back against it, heart pounding. All I could think about was what Taichi had said; that if there was nothing there, then there wouldn't even be a debate. None of this would have happened if there wasn't some shred of doubt; if there wasn't some scrap of feeling that there was something… More. He'd just made everything startlingly real, put everything into strict perspective.

Slipping down the hall, I very gently shut the door to my room and took a seat on the edge of the bed. The whole situation was a mess. Tai wanted it to be black and white; either I liked him or I didn't, but it wasn't and it couldn't be. It couldn't ever be that simple. He didn't think about what would change. Somehow I doubted that he'd ever given thought to what would be lost or what would be gained.

He was like that; thinking on a small scale first. I suppose it wasn't such a bad method, in theory, but it wasn't going to cut it now. There was more than just one thing to consider here. When I tried to think of it all, I just got buried under the weight. What about our friendship? What about our families? What about our friends? School? Sports? I mean, how could he think that changing our friendship would affect only us?

The shower shut off and I could very faintly here Taichi moving around in the bathroom. Closing my eyes, I laid back on the bed and tried to quickly sort myself out before he got here. I'd already laid out a change of clothes for him to sleep in; even though I already knew he'd lose half of them in his sleep like he always did. I thought for a second about staying to talk to him, but I had no idea what I could possibly say.

The door to my room creaked open before I could get up to leave and I paused, only halfway sitting. Taichi blinked at me for a second and then moved into the room, walking past me to snag the clothes I'd set out for him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, eyeing me cautiously as if he thought I'd attack.

"No," I retorted, laying back down again. "Do I look like I'm all right?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I thought you did, smartass." He ruffled the smaller towel through his hair to dry it a bit before donning the t-shirt. "I just… don't want you to be upset by what I said."

"I'm not upset," I said, though I know I sounded like I was lying through my teeth. I was. "I asked, you answered. Truthfully I'm not… surprised." I couldn't help the way I sounded just a little bit strained.

"You're not?" He asked dubiously, fingers curling into the towel slung around his waist. "But I thought…"

"Well you're right, aren't you? If there wasn't something there then there also wouldn't be an issue. We'd just… say no and continue with our lives like normal."

"Does that mean you…?"

"I don't know," I said miserably, laying back down and closing my eyes. "I mean, I know but haven't you stopped to think about any of this?"

"I haven't done anything else for days," he replied, and I heard him pull off the towel and continue changing.

"Not just think about it but… I don't know. What about everyone else?" I sighed. "We aren't the only ones this whole thing could affect. You saw what happened when we didn't talk for a day, Taichi. Everyone notices every little change between you and me."

"Aw, they're just vultures looking for a story, Yama," he assured me, tossing the damp towel onto my face. "You know they're waiting to see us have a fight."

Peeling off the towel, I glared at him. "Exactly. They're waiting for a story and whatever change we make will give them one. I don't want to be a story, Tai."

He shrugged, settling on the end of the bed. "So don't change anything."

"Tai…" I warned, but he raised a hand to stop me.

"I get what you're saying. No, I do," he affirmed when I rolled my eyes. "I don't want to be a story either. So let's not make one. There's no rule that says just because you like someone you have to get together with them, right?"

"What are you saying?" I sat up, staring at him a little confusedly. Was this really Taichi? Because he was making a lot of sense; too much, almost.

"I'm saying I just want to know. If you want, I'll talk to Kari tomorrow night and tell her nothing's going on with us and that we're just friends. Once she knows, there's little chance that anything will get spread. You know how good she and Takeru are at cutting down rumors before they cause damage." He stared quietly at me after he stopped talking and I just stared back, disbelieving.

"Tai…" I shook my head, wondering why I suddenly found it a little harder to breathe. After knowing that Kari was right, that we could be more than just friends, was he seriously suggesting that we pass the opportunity? "That would be lying. To everyone. To ourselves."

"Yeah, well, what else do you want me to do?" he asked heatedly. "We can't stay in limbo forever; people are already starting to notice. There's only two choices. Either we make it more or we don't, but either way you're going to have to make a decision."

I studied him for a second, mind stumbling over the suggestion. Could I tell him – and could I let him tell me – that we could be more than just friends and then decide against taking that road? Any way I thought about it, anything that happened, it would probably end up hurting someone. In a way I knew what I wanted but I didn't know how to get there and I knew there was no way back.

"I'm going to go do my homework," I said finally, shoving aside the whole issue. I needed more time to think.

He gave me a disappointed look but he nodded anyhow. "Fine." When I reached the door he called my name and I paused, fingers wrapped around the knob. "This doesn't mean you're getting out of it, you know."

Staring down at my hand, I held in my sigh. "I know," I said quietly. "Just…"

"Time. I know. Do you… want me to call Kari?"

That was probably a good idea anyway. She would at least be able to put down any idea that something had happened; for better or for worse. "Yeah. It's easier to start a rumor later than to try and stop one now."

"Okay."

I didn't know what else to say to him, so I simply opened the door and left.

/End Chapter Seventeen, Clandestine Revelations/