CHAPTER THREE
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're not forgotten
The Corrs - Forgiven Not Forgotten
Giles barely noticed what street he was on. He wanted to go home and hide but he had no home in Sunnydale any more. Buffy's house didn't have the same feel of safety. A pub would be nice but all he saw was a coffee shop that appeared to still be open. He made his way in. For a moment he stood at the counter perplexed by the huge selection of tea. He got Earl Grey since it was the only one he recognized immediately and didn't sound like it came from the clippings bag of a lawn mower.
Numbness and pain competed for a spot in his soul. He was rooting for numbness, considering it superior to the waves of agonized guilt that flooded him. He went to the darkest open corner and let his tea cool, not able to bring himself to drink it. He felt her approach more than heard her. He had been expecting her. Giles looked up at Buffy. He didn't want her to stay nor did he want to send her away. She sat down. Giles glanced at her then back at his tea.
"Buffy, I really do not want to talk."
She attempted a stern look. "You don't really have much of a choice here, Giles. What just happened was brutal and I know there's nothing I can do to help but maybe you should talk even if you don't want to."
He plucked his glasses off. The shoe was on the other foot. Usually he was trying to comfort her. "I d-don't even know what to s-say."
"Do you believe her?"
He cocked his head to one side. The question hadn't even entered his mind. He dismissed it quickly. He had known deep to the soul that the boy was his; just another thing from his past come to haunt him. "I have no reason not to. The boy's the right age and I…I never doubted she loved me deeply. If there had been anyone else, she hid it well."
Mulling this answer, Buffy studied the art for sale on the walls, briefly wondering why anyone would want perky pansies hanging on the wall. She didn't want to ask her next question but she had to for her own piece of mind or lack there of. "What she said…did you really leave her without saying goodbye?"
Giles looked away, lifting the lukewarm cup of Earl Grey to his lips. He didn't answer her.
A soft look of concern mixed with anger crossed her thin face. "Giles? Is it true?"
Wincing at the sharpness of her tone, he slid the glasses back on, his gaze firmly on the table. "Yes."
She caught her breath. "How could you do that?"
He canted his eyes up at her. He saw the pain and knew she was thinking of all the men who had walked out on her over the years. "At the time it seemed like the right thing to do. I thought…maybe it would be easier for her."
Buffy's face screwed up distastefully. "Giles, I had two men I love leave me without saying goodbye. It's never the right thing to do. It hurts more than you can know."
Giles ran a hand through his thinning hair. "I know, Buffy. There hasn't been a week that's gone by that I haven't regretted it, that I haven't wondered what happened to Ceara. I should have suspected something when she unexpectedly turned down the invite to be a Watcher. When I left…she was going to join, I was sure of that. She was negotiating to be sent back to Australia and work from there."
"Then why did you leave her like that and what did she mean when she said she didn't tell you in order to protect you from the Watchers?" She reached for him but came up short seeing the uncomfortable look in his eyes.
He toyed with his teacup for a few moments before answering. "You know I didn't always want to be a Watcher, Buffy. I had only rejoined them a few years before she and I were…together, leaving behind everything with Ethan and the…bad things we did. I was just beginning to enjoy being a Watcher. I was ready to actually do this job with the attention it deserves. I should never have gotten involved with Ceara in the first place. I knew that. She was no longer a Potential but still she was little more than a child. I was old enough to know better. I should have walked away from her when we met in that pub but she was…special. I knew that in an instant. There was no denying it."
"Were you in love?" Buffy whispered.
Giles' face softened. His shoulders heaved as he took another sip of tea, lost for a moment in the tidal pool of memory. "Very much so. We both knew what we were risking. The Council is…intolerant of impropriety. They may have forgiven Ceara. She was young and a woman. She was being primed to be a Watcher, like I said, and they courted her strongly because of her skill with speaking to the dead. But as for me, all the Council would have seen was a male Watcher incapable of keeping his hands off the young Potentials."
Buffy could see where this was going. She had had enough run-ins with the Council to consider them all cold fishes and unlikely to be moved by something as frivolous as love. "They would have booted you."
"Maybe not booted but I would have been reallocated to research, Lord knows where. I never would have been assigned to a Potential to train, let alone the Slayer for fear I would compromise us both by getting involved with her." Fire licked though his voice.
Buffy's face dimmed. "They would have kept you from where you could do the most good."
He smiled at her. "Exactly, and I'm glad you see me as doing the most good here with you."
She covered his hand with hers. "Giles, I couldn't do this without you. They tried to make me and you know how that worked out."
"Yes." He twisted his hand in hers so he could give her hand a comforting squeeze. " I almost feel sorry for poor Wesley."
"From what Angel's told me, he's changed and for the good. Wesley knows about all of this but said he just found out." Buffy made a little face, not sure she believed it. A big Wesley fan, she was not.
"Then it's probably true. He doesn't strike me as a good liar and the old Wesley would have felt duty-bound to report it. He knew Ceara from back then. He was at the pub, too, the night when I met her. I'm not sure he remembers it. It was one of those kinds of nights," Giles said, smiling rather wickedly then his face went terribly somber again. "I left her because I knew it would ruin us both."
"But not saying goodbye…it was wrong. Both times it happened to me, I thought I would die. I can't imagine what it had to feel like to feel that abandoned and then learn I was pregnant." The rebuke stood evident in both her tone and in her eyes.
Giles rubbed his eyes with one hand, tossing his glasses onto the table. "I wish…I missed so much, Buffy. I missed things that can't ever be recovered. Tonight I glimpsed a world I can never be a part of and that pain…I-I don't have words for this." Giles' lips trembled as his pale eyes misted.
Buffy could see the threads of Giles' self control snapping and it frightened her. She was used to him being strong. "It's not too late, Giles. Maybe you can't have those years back but there's the rest of your life. I know it won't be easy to adjust to this but it's worth it."
"She doesn't want me in their lives. She made that clear." He didn't try to stop the solitary tear that slipped past his control.
Buffy got up and went around the table. She slipped her arms around him, despite knowing he didn't seem to like being touched. He was so intensely private and, in spite of having known him for six years, she realized she knew so little about him. She expected him to pull away. Instead he reached up with one hand and took hers. She said nothing as he cried silently. It was hard for her to see him like this. She remembered his tears after he attacked Angel for killing Jenny. For a horrifying moment, Buffy wondered how he must have wept at her own death. He managed to wrestle his control back into place.
"Sorry," he murmured.
Buffy squeezed his hand. "I've never understood why they say grown men don't cry. Sometimes it's good for you."
He favored her with a weak smile, ineffectively wiping his face with a cocktail napkin.
"She was surprised to see you, Giles, and angry. Maybe she didn't mean everything she said." She hugged him again. "Maybe it's not what your son wants."
"She has every right to cut me out, Buffy. I ran out on her and I can't expect to just walk right back into her life."
"Talk to her again, Giles. You can't just give up this easily." Buffy hated seeing him this weak.
He fished his glasses off the table. "I have….I knew that being a Watcher came with a high price. I gave up a lot to do this job. I just didn't realize how much."
"She doesn't have to shield you any more, Giles, if that's what she's still afraid of. No one is going to take you from me," Buffy said with a sharp decisive nod of her head. She didn't bring up the fact he had left her on his own volition.
"Thank you, Buffy." He stood up, looking around to see if their exchange had garnered unwanted attention. "I'll…go back to your place and think this out."
"Oh, no you don't. We still have to talk to Angel and his crew about those disappearing kids." Getting to her feet, she gave him her best stern look, wishing she could do it better.
"I'm not really up to going to the Bronze, Buffy." He never really was. It reminded him of being young and he had so many regrets about his youth.
"Because she's there? We need you, Giles…and you don't want to show her weakness by hiding. I don't know Ceara but something tells me she won't appreciate weakness." Buffy stamped her booted foot at him.
"No, she wouldn't but I'm not ready for this." Unease at this confession deepened his crow's feet.
"That's never stopped me," Buffy said, pulling Giles to his feet.
He sighed. "I'm well aware of that."
When they arrived at the Bronze they weren't surprised to find it packed. No one was on stage yet but the band had obviously set up. A backdrop of a medicine wheel pierced by a bolt of lightning hung in the background and crossed coup sticks stood in all four corners of the stage. Giles and Buffy found their friends at two tables pulled together near the stage's edge. Giles squeezed in next to Wesley. Buffy glanced around noticing one of their number was missing. "Where's Dawn?"
Willow beamed, almost bouncing in her seat. She pointed to a two-seater table near a support pole where Dawn sat with Aidan. "It's break time for the band so Dawn went to talk to Aidan." The tone of her voice screamed that she thought it was cute.
"More like leapt like a gazelle across the Bronze and snagged him before anyone else could," Xander put in, rolling his eyes. "And I think I'm jealous. When did she lose her crush on me?" Anya swatted his arm.
"Probably at the same time Aidan got over his crush on Cordelia. Looks like you'll have to start doing your own filing again, Cordy." Wesley wagged his eyebrows at her.
She stuck out her tongue. "I'm not worried."
"I should have done so well at fourteen," Xander said mournfully.
"You don't do so well now, Harris," Spike said, giving him a dismissive look.
"Evil Dead can shut up now. It must be the accent and the guitar," Xander decided. Anya gave him an irritated nudge.
"Where's the rest of the band?" Buffy asked when what she wanted to know where Ceara was.
"Probably getting drinks." Angel made room for her to sit down.
"So you got them here on time, Angel." Buffy almost winced at the jealous tone in her voice.
His lips twitched up a bit. "Barely."
"That's a good term for the whole drive. Tell me, Watcher, how did you ever convince a woman that beautiful to shag you?" Spike said, slouching down in his chair. He smirked at Giles.
Giles' pale eyes knifed into the vampire. "What was it you just said, Xander?"
"Evil Dead can shut up now." Xander smirked.
"Yes, exactly."
"Just saying, that's all. I've noticed, and Angel can back me on this, that all the Slayers and Potentials are beautiful," Spike said, glancing over at his one-time mentor and oft-time tormentor. Angel gave a non-committal shrug.
"Spike, shut up," Buffy said.
He smirked again, lighting up a cigarette ignoring the protests and offended looks. He pointed with the glowing tip at the approaching woman. Ceara wore all black leather from the boots to the pants with open-laced sides and a barely tied-on halter that belong to the Harley-Davidson set. A silver and turquoise belt circled her thin waist and matched her huge squash blossom necklace and earrings and complemented the large silver and turquoise "sunburst" bracelets which adorned her wrists.
She stopped at the their table. "Have we come to any conclusions about how to handle this case?" she asked, her eyes never leaving Giles' face. He had to force himself to meet her eyes then remembered the Lakota considered that rude. He glanced away again wondering how many mixed signals he just sent.
"We were waiting for Buffy and Giles to arrive and for you to get done on stage so we can talk about it," Wesley said, with a quick look at Giles.
"Don't wait on me. My cousins still aren't here. I may have to help with the next set, too. You can catch me up later, Wes." She slung her thick swag of hair back over her shoulder.
"Of course."
"I love that jewelry. It had to cost a lot," Anya blurted out, reaching out to touch the large piece of turquoise in one of the bracelets.
"Ahn, again, not everyone likes to talk money," Xander said, wondering if he should just give up trying to modulate her behavior.
"It's all right. I'm glad you like it, Anya. It's Navajo but it's flashier than traditional Lakota stuff," Ceara said.
"Flashy like that outfit," Spike said, his blue eyes raking over her appreciatively.
"Oh, tell me about it. What possessed my son to pack the biker bitch ensemble when John called about us sitting in on this gig, I'll never know. No, I do know. We're still cranky about being grounded so we'll see if we can embarrass Mom. Speaking of which, where did he disappear to?" Ceara glanced around for her son.
Buffy pointed him out. "With my sister."
"I need to bell that boy. Wamniomni Hoksila!" she called. Aidan's head jerked up. She crooked a finger at him. He wrinkled his nose, not getting up until his mother raised her eyebrows. He shuffled over with Dawn sticking close.
"Han, Ina?" He gave her a begrudging glance.
"What are you doing?"
He looked at her like she had grown another head. "Talking. Dawn wants to show me Sunnydale tomorrow. Can she?"
"I'll think about it. You know you're supposed to stay in the house."
"Oh, Sunnydale's sort of safe in the day," Dawn said, quickly.
"That's not exactly true," Wesley said quickly. "Of those missing kids, at least four disappeared in the daylight hours and they're all between the aged of twelve and sixteen. You and Aidan are at risk."
"And that's not even why he has to stay in, now is it, Wamniomni Hoksila?" Ceara tapped a toe.
"No, but Ina, you wouldn't want me to get lost now, would you, if I had to go to town?" Aidan wheedled.
She put her hands on her narrow hips. "If you never leave the house alone, how would you get lost, son?"
"Well, it is the Hellmouth and you never know when I might have to run for my life." His blue eyes pleaded with her to give in.
"I think he's got you there, Ceara," Wesley said with a gentle smile.
She wrinkled her nose. "I'll think about it."
Aidan grinned, sensing victory. "Pilamaya, Ina."
"I said 'think,' Wamniomni, don't push." She wagged a finger at him.
"What does that mean? Wam…" Tara stumbled over the unfamiliar word.
"It's my name," Aidan said.
"I thought your name was Aidan," Anya said.
"That's my white name. When we're with our tisopaye, our Lakota family, we speak mostly in Lakota," Aidan said.
"Then Ina means mother?" Willow asked, ever eager for new knowledge.
"Yes."
"Wamn…that's hard to say." Dawn made a face.
He smiled wanly. "That's why I told you to call me Aidan."
"Does it mean anything? Don't most Native American names mean something?" Dawn asked.
"All names mean something." Aidan shrugged. "Translated my name is Whirlwind Boy."
"Whirlwind Boy?" Spike snickered.
"Undead creatures with names like Spike have no room to laugh," Aidan said, tossing his mane.
Spike just cocked an eyebrow, the scar through it wrinkling. "I'm going to go out on a limb and say your mouth got you grounded, kid."
Aidan shook his head. "Not this time."
"So, Mum, you have to have an Indian name, too, pretty woman or something." Spike leered at her.
"I have a manly name, I'm afraid. Otaktay, kills many." She gave him a flat grin full of menace.
Spike's face fell. "You mean my kind."
"But of course," Ceara said cheerfully, miming the killing thrust of a stake.
"How long are you grounded for, Aidan?" Dawn broke in. She glanced at her sister then away again, already having been in trouble over boys and going out." She didn't want Buffy to think this was a date. "There's not much to do in Sunnydale but we have a movie theatre and, of course, the Bronze."
"Mum hasn't set a time limit yet," he replied unhappily.
Dawn looked horrified. "What did you do?"
Aidan looked at the silver tips of his boots. "I'd rather not talk about it."
"Sure you do, son. Confession is good for the soul," Ceara said, her dark eyes twinkling.
He glared at his mother, making the silver feather dangling from his eyebrow ring dance. "You're going to tell everyone if I don't, aren't you?" His mother just smiled and he rolled his eyes. "I lied about where I was going. I told Mum me mates and I were going surfing at Trigg."
Dawn's face lit up. "You surf? So cool. I'd love to learn to surf," she bubbled.
"Since when?" Buffy asked, wondering how out of the loop she really was or if her sister was merely flirting with the boy, which might be worse.
"I love surfing. Anyhow me mates and I didn't go to Trigg. We went to Swanbourne North," Aidan said, his thickening Aussie accent at war with his very Native American appearance.
"So you went to a different beach, big deal." Xander shrugged, envisioning a lot of worse things.
"Swanbourne North is the nude beach," Ceara clarified.
"Oh," Xander said as all eyes turned to Aidan who blushed to his dark roots. The boy glanced at Giles and hung his head so his hair made a shielding curtain. Xander seemed amused and sorry he hadn't thought of it. "How advanced."
"Yes. He and his mates decided they wanted to see naked women and they skipped the dirty magazines," Ceara said.
"Mum!" Aidan lightly swatted her arm to shut her up.
"Who ratted you out, boy?" Spike asked, lighting up another cigarette from the tip of his burned down one, utter amusement plain on his thin face.
"Wakan Tanka was laughing at me. We were sneaking around the beach and ran right into Mum and a bunch of other sheilas. I don't know what's worse, getting caught or having all me best mates seeing me mum naked," Aidan said and Spike choked on his cigarette smoke, laughing.
"Hey, you wanted to see naked women. You saw them. Don't blame me if you're been scarred for life." Ceara patted his head.
"I have been." Aidan gave an exaggerated shudder.
"Good. I think John's about ready for the next set. Get on up there, son," Ceara ordered.
"Can we talk more on your next break? I'd like to hear about surfing." Dawn smiled shyly.
"Sure," Aidan said before bounding back on stage.
"Are you still considering a bell for him? It seems like a good idea," Buffy said, not sure she liked Dawn's attraction to the boy. Maybe if Dawn had shown better judgment previously it would be a different story and nude beaches didn't rate high on places she'd want to find her kid sister.
"I'd put a shock collar on him if I wasn't worried about the sexual peccadilloes that might cause down the road. He is half English, after all, and after living in England for a handful of years, I've yet to meet an Englishman who wasn't a closet kink," Ceara said.
Both Giles and Wesley glared. Spike just laughed.
"I really must protest," Giles said
"As do I," Wesley added.
"Not me, though it's not a bloody secret with me," Spike said, proudly.
"I didn't really think otherwise and you hush, Wesley. You have handcuffs in your nightstand," Ceara said. "And I'm not even going to get into what you and your buddies used to do, Rupert."
"I…they're for business!" Wesley said, flushing.
"I don't recall ever seeing you with handcuffs on the job," Angel said mercilessly, a very Angelus smirk on his face.
Cordy made a face. "I'm afraid to ask why you were even in his bedroom."
"I was looking for the copy of Yanow's Grimoire he said was in the nightstand," Ceara said.
"Now I see why you said you weren't sure you'd survive this new stage of Aidan's development, Ceara," Angel said, watching the boy on stage.
"One of us is going to die before the horny teen years are over or at least go nuts. I'm betting it's me," Ceara said, shaking her head slowly.
"The best part is it's just starting." Xander grinned.
"Thanks a bunch, Xander," Ceara said, turning to make sure her son was where he was supposed to be. In the process she flashed her bare back to them, showing a hemi-circle scar that went from spine to side and looped around to her front, disappearing under the fringed-edge of her halter.
"What took a bite out of you? Ghora demon?" Willow asked.
"Millitello demon?" Buffy put in.
Ceara grinned over her shoulder at them. "Great White shark. My son's not the only surfie here," she said before sauntering back up on stage.
"You'd think if you nearly got chomped in half by a shark you'd not let your kid anywhere near the water," Anya said in rebuke but Ceara was out of earshot.
"Ceara's show, Paranormal Investigations is a new venture for her, Anya. She has a PhD in marine biology specializing in sharks," Wesley said. "She thinks of them as something fun to play with."
"Is that how she got bit?" Tara asked, her hand questing for Willow's.
"No, she got bit surfing," Giles said, finally finding his voice again. He couldn't believe how lovely Ceara still was and the openness and outgoingness of his son left him staggered. If he spoke, he was afraid it would all end like a rare dream. "She was about twelve at the time. It was h-how she ended up in England."
"The Watchers were afraid she'd be killed before she had a chance to be a Slayer?" Buffy guessed.
"Exactly so," Giles said. "She had a way with finding trouble. Must be a Slayer trait."
Buffy smiled at seeing him finding his peculiar sense of humor again. "I'll forgive you that."
"Which means she can't dispute it," Angel put in, a hint of a smile dancing on his lips.
"And you would know," she shot back.
The start of the music silenced them all. Giles watched intently. Had he realized Ceara knew how to play the fiddle? He certainly didn't remember it but he admired her skill. The way she moved around the stage didn't hurt either. Pain, like a cracked tooth that a tongue has to constantly probe, filled him. He thought himself at peace with the loneliness of his life but seeing Ceara again proved him wrong. Once more how much he had given up to be a Watcher echoed agonizingly through him.
Giles tore his gaze away from her and watched his son, which was no less painful. The boy seemed to know how to handle himself on stage. Giles wished he had half that confidence when it came to performing. They let Aidan solo on a couple of songs. He still needed to grow into his voice but he had a lot of promise. Aidan relinquished the center mike to John again. The thirty-something Lakota man slung his hair back as he stepped up to it.
"It was suggested that this next song might be a good one for one of my cousin, Ceara's, friends from L.A. but certainly could be extended to a few others sitting here tonight. It's by Rascal Flatts, 'Moving On.'"
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself.
I've been burdened with blame,
trapped in the past for too long.
I'm moving on.
Buffy stared at Angel as John spilled out the song about regrettable pasts, redemption and moving on. His dark eyes met hers, speaking volumes. The beautiful song was more than a little heartbreaking. A quick glance at Giles told Buffy he wasn't immune to these regrets either. She doubted either man was ready to move on, however.
After the song was over John beckoned Ceara over. "I see my sister and my cousin, the band regulars, have arrived but before we let their replacements go I think there's a song or two Ceara might like to sing," he said and she gave him an aggrieved look.
"I'm betting more music of pain," Xander muttered.
"No bet," Buffy said.
"I guess I can't disappoint my cousin after that set up. This is a little something that has meaning for me by She-Daisy called 'Still Holding Out For You.'"
Never thought I'd be in this place
It's someone else's life I'm living
Wish I were living a lie
The hardest part is when the bough breaks
Falling down and then forgiving
You didn't kiss me good-bye
I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say
And pray I get the chance some day
Buffy watched her Watcher, gauging what the lyrics about running to the door, always hoping it would be her lost love would do to him. She knew what it was doing to her. She understood completely. She still looked for Angel almost every night, hoping to see him in the cemetery or in the shadows of the Bronze or in her bedroom and she wondered if she always would. Having him this close to her and unable to do more than talk was torment. The twisted affair with Spike never touched her heart. Angel still had that place to himself. Spike had been there to guide her through her pain and she'd always be grateful but there'd be no ever-after for them.
Ceara segued into Trisha Yearwood's 'I Would've Loved You Anyway.'
If I'd've known the way that this would end
If I'd've read the last page first
If I'd've had the strength to walk away
If I'd've known how this would hurt
I would have loved you anyway
Buffy could barely keep back the tears. She knew too well what it felt like to be willing to relive every moment of a relationship that ended badly just to have all the moments of sweetness again. She saw Giles was a little less successful at not weeping and he got up, heading for the bar.
Giles had managed to get his control back by the time he reached the bar. He agreed with Xander for a change. This was the music of pain. He listened to the litany of beers available, trying to decide. He heard John Lays Hard announce the band would take an early break to let their kinfolk settle in and come back with a very long set composed mostly of Charging Thunder's original music. That meant Ceara wasn't on stage and maybe he'd be better off just slinking out the door. But he suspected Buffy would hunt him down again.
"Forget the beer. Make it a scotch," Giles said to the bartender. "A triple."
He shut his eyes as the amber liquid touched his tongue. There was a temptation to order the whole bottle but that wouldn't look very appropriate. He opened his eyes feeling a hand on his shoulder. Giles started to tell Buffy to leave him be then realized it wasn't her. He looked into Ceara's nearly black eyes.
"Can we talk again? I'd like to get it right this time, maybe not say things I don't mean." Her voice was soft and apologetic, ripping straight into him despite that.
He smiled faintly. "I would like that."
"How about some place public so I'm less tempted to impale you with something?" She grinned, taking the sting out of her words.
He gave her a shy smile. "I'd appreciate that."
"I saw a coffee shop, the Wild Women Don't Get the Blues. How about there at one tomorrow?"
His brows knitted. "Isn't that the feminist bookstore coffee shop over on Main?"
"What's the matter, Rupert? Afraid the sisterhood will overhear our conversation and stone you to death with scones?" Her grin broadened and he noticed she had had her teeth straightened and bleached.
Giles rolled his eyes. "A distinct possibility but I'll be there."
"Good. They serve food here, right? Didn't plan on having to perform tonight."
"They have….I guess you'd call it food." He made a distasteful face.
"In other words it's probably quite good and not even remotely British which is what makes it tasty." Her full lips peeled back from those improved teeth again.
"You still have the most peculiar sense of humor, Ceara."
"This, coming from a Pom, is not good," she said, finding a menu on the bar. She started off then hesitated. She turned back to him, her eyes gentle. "It is good to see you again, Rupert."
He allowed himself a true smile. "I'm glad to see you as well."
She smiled again and he watched her move off to order something to eat. Her smell still lingered in the air, that faint hint of lavender and rose. He always associated it with her. It gave him a warm comforting feel. He picked up his scotch and went back to his seat with the others, having to walk past his son who was deeply engrossed with a conversation with Dawn, segregated off in their own little corner once more.
Buffy leaned over, noting the scotch and whispered. "You okay?"
He thought hard about it for a moment. "I will be."