A/N – Hey everyone! Sorry about the delay, exams have been on so you know the story. But tomorrow is the last day so chapters should be spitting out faster from then on. I've only got 5 more chapters to write until the story is finished (I'm writing ch 23 atm) and holidays are in a couple of weeks so I'm sure the fic will be finished by the end of next month. Yay!

Enjoy and don't forget to review!

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Ch 17 – It's All Coming Back to Me Now

Dedication: LizzieWeasley Cheer up girl! No worries, be happy.

- - - - - - -

Last chapter:

All she remembered were the words spoken, so little of them, yet they created a hole in their lives.

"Angelina is alive, but she's lost the baby."

- - - - - - -

I finished crying in the instant that you left

And I can't remember where or when or how

And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this

And you hold me like that

I just have to admit

That it's all coming back to me

When I touch you like this

And I hold you like that

It's so hard to believe but

It's all coming back to me

Celine Dion – It's All Coming Back to Me Now

- - -

Ginny threw her pillow across the room, letting out a cry of anger and despair. Why was this happening? Why was everything going wrong?

The pillow hit the wall but it made no noise, only making Ginny angrier. She wanted noise, she wanted discord, anything to distract her from this guilty and condemning silence. She chucked her glass of water at the wall and it made a satisfying crash as glass shards flew everywhere, along with the water.

Angelina's baby.

The baby everyone had been anxiously and excitedly waiting for, especially Angelina and Fred. The baby that had had a room waiting for him, the baby with a closet full of clothes, the baby with a name ready.

The baby who would never live.

Ginny fell back against her bed, her head slamming into the pillows. It was everything on top of everything. Her problems with Jason, Hermione being barren, losing her job – not to mention her respect, and now this.

What was it? What was it exactly that had made her deserve every minute of this pain?

Ginny groaned and sat up again; she should go see her family. Share the grief; contribute with the tears; that was what they expected of her. Not that she didn't want to see them; she just didn't want to see them and break down completely – because she would.

Like she had a choice, though.

When she arrived at the Burrow, it was very quiet. Something that didn't occur often. She looked at the family clock; everyone was home except for Mr Weasley, Fred, Percy and his family, and Bill and his family. She was positive Fred was visiting Angelina in hospital, who was still unconscious, but she didn't know why her father was at the Ministry.

"Ginny?" Her mother stood in the doorway, looking tired and ill.

"Mum? Are you feeling all right?" Ginny asked, staring in shock at her mother's pale face.

Mrs Weasley nodded, smoothing her apron nervously. "I'm fine dear," came her reply. "Just a bit tired."

"You look sick," Ginny said suspiciously.

"Is your father back yet?" Mrs Weasley asked, choosing to ignore the huge clock telling the answer in front of her. Ginny raised an eyebrow, but shook her head. Her mother obviously didn't want to talk about it.

"Oh. . ." Mrs Weasley looked somehow even more worried and walked into the kitchen.

"Why is he at work in the first place? He doesn't go to work on the weekends," asked Ginny.

"Just a little matter he wanted to clear up, nothing to worry about." Mrs Weasley said, but it was clearly something important, otherwise she wouldn't keep glancing at the clock every two seconds.

"And Fred?"

"St. Mungo's," Her mother's voice was quieter this time.

"Angelina?"

"We don't know." Those words hung in the air after that, with neither mother nor daughter knowing what to say. Ginny missed the times when they would talk for hours, almost like friends rather than family. Now though, they were all wrapped up in their own trials and dramas. Once they would have shared them, but now they were too tired.

"I'll go see them then." Ginny said after a less-than-comfortable silence.

Mrs Weasley nodded, looking like she wanted to say more, or show some affection, but she just stood there as her daughter walked towards the fireplace.

- - -

When Ginny entered the small, white room she was struck by how inviting it seemed. Compared to all those places where Muggles put their sick people, horsetails. . . hopsails or something, St Mungo's was very warm and nice to be in. Well, the rooms were.

Fred was sitting beside his unconscious wife, holding her hand and dozing with his head on the bed. Ginny stood there watching them, heart overcome with sadness for the young couple. Her own troubles seemed so trivial now, compared with losing the life of an unborn child.

She walked into the room and took a seat at one of the chairs, thinking it best not to wake Fred. Besides, she needed to think. About Jason and about Harry.

Every time she saw Jason, she remembered less and less of their time spent together, so much so that he was rather more like a memory than a reality. And when she saw Harry she saw all the times at Hogwarts with him, all the good times, all the jokes and the light-hearted romances between them. In fact, every time she saw him, even more memories came flooding back, memories she didn't even remember having.

And the reason for all this came to one conclusion.

A conclusion she stubbornly refused to see.

A sharp rap at the door interrupted her train of thoughts, and she looked to see a cross-looking, middle-aged woman in white robes staring at her.

"Do you have permission to be here?" the woman asked in a sour tone.

"I'm her sister," Ginny retorted, giving an icy smile. It was a half-truth; Angelina was her sister-in-law. The Healer sniffed and stared at her calculatingly before turning on her heel and disappearing.

How rude Ginny thought, shaking her head.

"Don't worry, she's always like that."

Ginny turned to see Fred looking at her from where he was sitting, a grateful yet sad smile on his face. He was glad she was here.

"She's got that look about her that says she's always been like that," Ginny said, not joking. "But how are you?"

Fred's face clouded over. "Depths of despair, how about you?" his tone was light, but she could tell he really wasn't far from the "depths of despair".

Ginny sighed. "I've had many better days, much better."

Fred nodded, knowing what she meant. They had both lost their jobs, a sure way of losing self-esteem and a purpose in life.

"Has she showed any signs of waking?" Ginny asked, changing the subject.

"None," was his quiet reply.

Ginny walked over and hugged him, somewhat stiffly. It was weird comforting her older brother; usually it was the opposite. Funny, always laughing, optimistic Fred had always taken care of her, but now it was her hugging him, and him the one not wanting to let go.

"I don't mind if you cry," she whispered.

"Crying isn't my type of thing," Fred muttered, but his eyes were already wet. Ginny didn't answer and only kept hugging him. Now it was her turn to be optimistic for him. She had to be strong while everything around her fell to pieces. She had to stop taking everything so hard and crying about it.

"It's all going to work out in the end, Fred," Ginny said, patting his head as she leaned on the armrest of the chair.

Fred turned his head away. "It won't, she's going to blame me."

"No she won't!" exclaimed Ginny.

"She will, and rightfully so. It is my fault."

"No one forced you guys to argue, no one forced her to fall down those stairs. Accidents happen," Ginny pressed gently.

"We wouldn't have been arguing in the first place if it wasn't for my stupidity," Fred said, his voice hollow and beaten.

"Things happen for a reason and there is some reason behind this, some good that will come out of it." Ginny found that she was starting to believe herself when she said this, almost like she was convincing herself, as well as Fred.

"You think so?"

Ginny hesitated for only a second. "I know so."

- - -

Ginny jolted awake and glanced quickly over at Angelina on the bed. She was still at St Mungo's, staying with Angelina while Fred went to update the family. She must have drifted off to sleep with everything so quiet. She looked at the clock; Fred should be back soon, so she could leave. Being here made her depressed.

Angelina stirred.

Ginny was up and standing by her bed in an instant, pleading silently that she would open her eyes. But Angelina didn't move again and Ginny sighed as she looked out the window, defeated.

"Ginny?"

Ginny snapped her head back to the bed and saw Angelina staring at her with a very confused expression.

Angelina tried to move, and groaned. "Ouch, what happened?"

Ginny bit her lip, not knowing what to say. Fred should be the one to fill his wife in about everything.

Angelina looked around in shock. "W-what? Why am I in St Mungo's?" She looked at Ginny. "The last I remember I was. . . I fell!"

Looking troubled, Ginny looked at the door again, hoping to see Fred. She couldn't take this, couldn't tell Angelina.

But Angelina suddenly went still. She began breathing heavily. "Ginny, where's my baby?" Ginny felt her eyes fill up; Angelina was too young to be dealing with this, too young to lose a child.

"Where's my child?" Angelina cried, trying to move but grimacing in pain. She moved a hand to her stomach, as if trying to make sure she was wrong and her baby was still there.

Fred walked in, and his eyes lit up when he saw his wife awake. He didn't even notice Ginny standing to the side, crying.

"Fred!" Angelina cried. "What happened? Where's my baby?"

Fred grabbed his wife's hand and stared at her, trying to tell her without words. His eyes were damp now too, and Angelina was shaking her head, begging him to say it wasn't true.

"I'm sorry, Angie. There was nothing we could do." Fred whispered, holding his wife tight. Ginny walked out of the room, unable to bear seeing this.

She heard Angelina's anguished cry and Fred trying to calm her, heard her own weeping mixed with Angelina's. She heard the Healers rushing into the room, trying to calm the sobbing once-mother.

As she headed home, blinded by tears, she thought that if she could ask the person who determined what happened every day just one question… Why?

- - -

It was easily one of the best photos he had ever taken. Maybe even the best. Colin stared at the photo of the Weasley family he had taken at St Mungo's, all of them sleeping soundly, with Harry in the corner. It caught the together-ness of them all, the little something that made a family a family.

He was sitting contently at a table outside a bar, sipping occasionally on his Butterbeer as he went through his photos. He always felt so relaxed and safe here, watching all the witches and wizards going by, mulling over his photos. Plus, he felt safe from Bree Warren. No matter how much he worshipped her, loved her, he was always on edge when he saw her. She was dangerous, could make him do anything and everything he didn't want to.

A shadow fell over the photo, and Colin smelt the familiar smell of heavy perfume.

Maybe he wasn't so safe.

"Colin daahling, what are these?" Bree asked, looking pointedly at the photos before dropping her bag and taking a seat.

"Photos," Colin said, annoyed that she had found his hiding spot.

"So," Bree gave a shrill laugh. "This is where you hide all the time."

"T'was," Colin muttered. He didn't want to look at her beautiful, perfect face because he would fall in love all over again. He was already deep enough. He'd love to hate her, but at the moment he was stuck with hating to love her.

"Mmm, so show me these photos. Anything juicy?" Bree trilled, grabbing the photos. Colin stared helplessly as she ruffled through his precious photos.

She curled her perfect pouty lip. "They're just of people in St Mungo's," she said distastefully, tossing the ones she had seen on the table carelessly.

"So?"

"So, I want photos of people. Well-known people. Doing things like- oooh, what's this?" she had spied the photo of the Weasley's; the one that he had tried to hide.

"Nothing, nothing," Colin said lightly, trying to grab it off her unsuccessfully.

Bree's jaw dropped. "Oh gosh, this is marvellous. All the Weasley's – a family scandal. I'm sure we can cook something up and- " she gasped.

"What?" Colin asked tensely.

"Harry and Ginny, sleeping so close!"

Colin raised an eyebrow. "They're sleeping on two single chairs that happen to be close together."

"But we can make it look like they're sleeping together. You can just alter the photo slightly, darling!" Bree exclaimed.

"I can't," Colin protested, not wanting to hurt Ginny again. Or Harry, at all.

Bree narrowed her eyes. "Can't. . . or won't?"

"I. . . both." Colin said stoutly, snatching the photo.

"Colin. . ." Bree pleaded. Oh Merlin no, she was looking at him in that way, that way that always made him melt. Her lovely long lashes would flutter and her eyes would look so innocent that he would always give in. He sighed and was just about to nod when –

"Colin?"

Colin stared over at the pretty woman staring at him. "Catherine!" he exclaimed. I'm saved.

"I thought it was you, but I just wanted to make sure," Cath laughed, shaking his hand. Colin shook it back while Bree looked very unimpressed.

"And who are you?" she asked snootily.

"Catherine Banton," Cath introduced herself.

Bree's eyes flared and she put on an instant bright smile. "Ah, Jason's sister," she purred. "I have got so much to ask you about daahling."

"Sorry Bree, but Cath and I have somewhere to go," Colin said, thanking his lucky stars for Cath being here at this exact moment. Otherwise he would have done whatever Bree wanted with that Weasley photo.

And he walked away from Bree, for the first time in his life, with Cath.

"Who was that?" Cath asked. "And where are we going?"

"Bree Warren. Nasty piece of work, stay away," Colin replied.

"I gathered, but now you owe me," Cath teased.

"How about an ice-cream?" Colin asked, grinning.

"Deal."

- - -

At least Hermione and Ron have worked things out, Ginny thought as she lay on her couch back at her cottage. Hermione especially, seemed to look very glowing. Maybe just one thing would go right, because nothing else was.

Tap. Tap.

Ginny flicked her wand at the window and it flung open, letting in her owl, Lou, as well as a gust of cold air. It was raining outside, and the wind was howling to the empty grey sky. Lou dropped the letter on her lap and flew to his cage, hooting indignantly at how the wind had ruffled all his beautiful white feathers.

Ginny sweetheart,

Fred has taken Angelina home from hospital, she's taking the news about her baby very hard. But what I wanted to write and tell you about is to ask you to come for dinner tonight. Your father has some news he wants you all to hear, and it would be nice anyway to have all the family here together at a time like this. Please come Ginny, Fred is coming, even though Angelina isn't.

Love, Mum.

Ginny sighed and dropped the envelope on the coffee-table. She didn't want to go, but she would feel guilty if she didn't. Besides, her interest was slightly caught by what her father wanted to tell them all.

A pop announced the arrival of someone, and Ginny craned her head to see Jason staring at her from across the room.

"Sorry to drop in so suddenly," Jason said cautiously. "It's uncommonly rude of course but. . ."

"But?" Ginny asked, wishing he wasn't here. She didn't feel like talking and Jason was the type of person who filled silences. He couldn't help it and it was probably where she had gotten it from in the first place.

"But. . . I wanted to see you. I never see you anymore and. . . and I'm starting to think you want it that way."

"I. . . I don't Jason. It's just things are. . . I'm going through a tough time right now, with work and family. . ."

"I know, just know that I love you, okay? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we got married. Then we would have got it over with and you'd be free to deal with all this," said Jason.

"Is that what you want? To "get it over with"? You make it sound like a chore," Ginny said, slightly hurt. She wasn't hurt because of what he had said; she was hurt because that was how she felt, not him.

"Of course not! It's what I want most in the world, but it doesn't seem to be happening," Jason said. He had always been like that, always had to get to the bottom of something, always wanted a solution. She never knew why he couldn't just let things slide every once and a while.

Ginny looked at him, really looked at him. Was he what she wanted? Was this man in front of her the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with? She used to think she knew the answer to that, but now she wasn't so sure.

"Jason, I'm tired and I feel a bit ill," she said.

Jason faltered and he nodded slowly. "Good-bye Ginny."

Then he was gone.

And she didn't know why, but she hugged her blanket closer around her and sobbed into the cushions of her little couch. And she didn't know when, but someone was there and was putting their arms around her. And she didn't know who, but she could guess. And she didn't know how, but he made her feel better without even speaking.

"How do you always know when I need someone to lean on?" she asked him, her voice muffled from the cushions.

"I don't," he said honestly. "I just know I want to see you."

It was easy to push Jason away, easy to forget him. So, then, why did she find it so hard to shut Harry out? But what confused her most was that she didn't want to shut him out, she wanted him here. Something had changed, and she was half-afraid and half-thrilled of what that change had brought.

"Why?"

"I don't know that anymore than you do," he said softly. She turned her head to look at him, to make sure he was telling the truth. He looked like he was, and he looked just as confused as she felt as he held her from falling apart. It wasn't the answer she was looking for, but it was an answer she felt safe with.

"Go to sleep Gin, you need some rest," he whispered.

She nodded; she couldn't help falling asleep even if she wanted to. As he held her, all those memories started to come back. The way he used to touch her, the way he spoke. She thought she had forgotten, but oh how wrong she was. It was all coming back to her now.

"It's because I'm falling for you, that's why," he whispered to her sleeping form. She didn't hear as she fell into a dark, dreamless sleep.

- - -

When she woke up, Harry had gone. The blanket had dropped onto the floor and she shivered in the cold night. She pottered over to the open window in the blanket, the source of the cool air, and shut it. It was dark now, but still raining heavily.

Good. It suited her dull mood.

It took her only a few minutes to get ready to go to the Burrow; she wanted to get it over with. She was going to have to look for a new job in the papers this evening.

It was always quiet whenever she arrived at the Burrow now, always silent and melancholy. Perhaps Nate and Sabine sensed the mood of the adults and remained quiet, maybe it was because Fred and George weren't making anyone laugh anymore, or it could have been because Mr Weasley no longer entertained them with his latest Muggle invention. Whatever it was, the spirit had left this house, and it was no longer a sanctuary to come to.

"You're here."

Ginny turned to see Charlie in the kitchen doorway. She shrugged. "Yeah."

"Everyone's here, we're waiting for you." Charlie added before exiting the room. Once he would have tweaked her nose, or given her a brotherly hug, treated her like a little sister. Merlin, she missed that now.

"Ginny?" Her mother's voice called from the living room.

They were all there, from Mr Weasley right down to her. She guessed Sabine and Nate were tucked away upstairs, sleeping as only children could. Ginny took a seat on the edge of the couch, wishing she was anywhere but in this room.

"Arthur. . ." Mrs Weasley said encouragingly, nodding. Ginny guessed, by the look on her mother's face that she didn't know what her husband was going to tell them all either.

Mr Weasley looked troubled. "Right. . . right." Everyone looked at him expectantly. "Well, as you. . . you know that everyone. . . that things have been difficult lately, right?"

There was a general nodding of heads.

"What with. . . Angelina," he nodded in Fred's direction, "money troubles," he looked again in the twin's direction, "articles in the paper making things difficult." This time he was looking at Ginny.

"We know this Dad, what is it?" Bill asked impatiently. They were all worn thin, too tired to beat around the bush.

"I'm getting to it," Mr Weasley said, looking directly at his eldest son. "Most of our problems stem from money troubles and. . ."

She knew it. She knew exactly what he was going to say.

"It would be easiest if we sold the Burrow."

Outrage. Everyone suddenly began protesting at once.

Mr Weasley held his hands up, quieting his family.

"It would be easiest, and we simply don't have a choice in the matter. We cannot afford to live here any longer. Or much longer, at least."

"But this is our home!" Ron said.

Ginny looked at him. "Not really Ron, we all have our own homes now." She looked around at everyone else. "We've all got a house to go home to at night, somewhere we can sleep and eat."

"But we grew up here!" Ron protested again.

"And now we're all grown up," Ginny whispered. "Can't you see this isn't our home anymore? It's just somewhere where we can see the rest of the family, go for a free meal."

"How can you say that, Gin?" Ron asked.

"How can I not? It's true." Ginny thought back to her reflections from earlier. "This house has lost its spirit and it's hardly our fault. There are no more young children constantly running around, no more contests of who can throw the gnome farthest, no more fake wands lying around. It was bound to happen sometime."

"But what about when there is no where else to go? Where will you go then?" Ron countered angrily.

"I -"

"Don't deny it, Gin, there's going to be one day when all you want to do is come here and lie down in your old bed," came Charlie's voice.

"And it won't be here," Ron finished.

"I. . . and? So what if I do? There's nothing we can do anyway Ron, there's no way we can keep the house," Ginny replied evenly. She didn't know what she was saying; the words just kept tumbling out. She knew she didn't want to leave the Burrow and she knew that she was lying.

"Exactly right," Mr Weasley said, staring at each family member in turn.

"Eez zer nuzzink we can do?" came Fleur's breathy voice.

"All chip in or something?" George agreed hopefully.

Mr Weasley gave a wan smile. "I've been trying to ask that all day at work."

". . . and is there?" Mrs Weasley asked, her face pale. She was shaking. The Burrow was her home more than anything; she wouldn't be able to cope moving in with one of her children – no matter how much she adored them.

"There is nothing we can do," Mr Weasley said heavily. "It would cost too much, we're so heavily in debt – because of – of things." He wasn't looking at the twins but they were going red anyway.

Silence fell as everyone took this in.

Mrs Weasley got up. "I'll go make us some tea," she said with a forced cheery air. She patted her husband's balding head as she went by him and he caught her arm.

"Be strong, dear," she whispered before pottering into the kitchen.

"It'll all work out in the end," Mr Weasley said. "It's just going to be tough, but your mother and I won't be around someday, and you'll need the Burrow less and less."

"So we're definitely losing the Burrow then, Dad?" Percy asked business like.

"Yes Perce, we must be out within a few weeks."

"Weeks?" Ginny said in disbelief.

Mr Weasley opened his mouth but a clatter from the kitchen interrupted him.

Ginny frowned and got up, heading into the kitchen.

The last thing she expected to see was her mother's plump form lying on the ground, still and unmoving. And her face so deadly pale. The china lay in shards around her, all of the cups broken. Ginny gave an anguished cry and ran to her mother's side as the rest of the family rushed in after hearing her shriek.

She waited for her mother to wake, to move, to do something. To show a sign of life.

But she didn't.

Once again, have no time for many replies so PLEASE don't be offended if I don't personally reply this time…

Thanks to: iamJulianne, IndiaInk, twrlgrl790, CS June, DK Lili, Lily Dwarf, harrysmom, Emerald Desire, Ms. Realista, Ms. Realista, UIY, Goldilocks31890, Jaybird, wackyone, harrys lover, lost angel92, the-insufferable-know-it-all, Harry kid, ZagZig722, kneh13, michaelrccurtis, seekerchic211, Lil Lillian 14

Sarah Noisette – Hey girl! How you going? How was the clubbing? And yes, Notebook is romance and now my absolute favourite movie.

GigiFanFic- verataiserum would solve many problems, yes, but then there would be no story lol. I know it's obviously the most logical thing to do but in this fanfic verataiserum doesn't really exist. I'm glad you like the story anyhow though!

Voicez Within – I swear, you're the only one who reads my A/N's with the exception of a few other wonderful people. Exams went okay, some bad some good. Glad you liked the waiting room sleep scene.

Notdapunkprincess – well of course he is ;)

WhiteRabbit5 – Yes, it would seem all a bit easy if she lost the baby straight away, no suspense, no surprise when she did. I'm guessing you won't be pleased with this ending as it is somewhat similar to two earlier ones.

The Emerald Dragon – I adore the Notebook more than anything! I've seen it four times now, I can never get sick of it. I'm glad to see there are more Notebook fans out there too.

Empty Light – Good luck with exams in December! Lol, I'm getting French results back tomorrow, I'm fairly positive I've failed.

Dracoisahottie13 – unfortunately a lot of things can go wrong still, as you can see.

CrazedChipmunk – Well the Red Sox won! The curse is over! Hurrah! Lol, I'm sure you were celebrating. (Well, I hope so otherwise I sound like an over-enthusiastic fool lol)

Cherryblossom08 – Omg I love country music! Travis Tritt is a personal favourite.

Reagon-felton – I love Ryan Gosling too! Glad to see another Notebook fan.

Deer boy – Eep! I'm so sorry! smacks self Bad Sede. You put down a dog? Gosh, was is really distressing? I've never actually met someone who's done it, it must take a lot of courage and heart.

ZzSheilahzZ – The Calendar is for next year, so no not this month. But the Calendar will have a part to play. And Ginny will tell Harry what you asked in ch 22.

Secondatbat9 – Oh no it's not just you, you're definitely sensing some romance.

Naz1 – Yup she was almost due. About 2 more months. How was the after grad? I assume its been done by now… And send along the one shot when you get it completed.

daydreamer04 – Lol, I love it when Gin realises she's gone and fallen in love with Harry again. And of course there is a happy ending! Gosh!

Lizzie Weasley – I know you wrote that a review a week ago and I don't know if you're still feeling the same way but you should know I've (recently) felt the exact same. Exams stress me out completely, and it was added on top of other things. I would just be sitting there and would burst into tears and want to hibernate in my room for years. You've got Chris there for you though. I inspire you with my chapters? Girl, your reviews inspire me to keep writing! Keep em' coming! You've got a way with words…

HannahLuLu22 – Oh you should see me, I'm pathetic. I fall in love with guys I see once and sometimes don't even talk to.

Ok, here's a little clue here for all you loyal people. The chapter in WAM where Ginny and Harry first kiss is the same number chapter in this fic (HH) where they first kiss. So if you remember when H & G first kiss in WAM, you'll know when they first kiss in this one.

Please review? Even one word makes me so happy, some of the best reviews have just that one line that make you feel on top of the world.