Retrievers, Transporters, and Ducks! Oh My!
By: Alicorn(a)
Rating: T (PG) for some harsh language
Betas: Riyuji and Rabid Lola
Mr. No-Brake was a pretty easygoing guy. He liked his food hot and his beer cold, and he appreciated the quiet of a nice drive at night on a highway. When he was home, he'd sit with his dog at his feet in front of the television, watching sports while his wife put the children to bed. He was hard to annoy and it was almost impossible to make him angry.
But Ban was starting to creep him out.
It wasn't the man's incessant babbling; it was the fact that he had stopped. If he was with other people, Mr. No-Brake expected some sort of noise to occur in the background. He had a toddler and a pre-schooler at home, he was used to it. He didn't mind the bantering because it kept him interested, awake and relatively amused.
But now the man had dropped off into sleep, and he was just SITTING there. It gave him shivers.
Mr. No-Brake sighed, and shifted himself. Jackal better not take too long, otherwise his rear was gonna go numb for good.
Shinigami stood up, arching her back and stretching, her spine cracking audibly. "Damn, I hate picking locks like that... they're always much too near to the ground."
Sticking her tongue out at said lock, she turned to the men standing behind her. "Alright, so all I have to do is push, and we're out ... what do we do first?"
Immediately, Ginji blurted, "We have to find Ban-chan!"
Akabane nodded thoughtfully. "Indeed, that would be a wise idea. Mr. No-Brake should be with him,
or nearby, and we need all the people we can get to break out of here."
"Onii-san, we might have a bit of a problem..." Shinigami tentatively shifted from one leg to another. "Well... we don't know where the hell Mr. No-Brake, and Ginji-kun's 'Ban-chan' are. Which way do we go?"
Ginji chirped, "I could find Ban-chan easily in this place! His tingles are very distinct!"
Grinning as if talking about "tingles" was perfectly natural, Akabane smoothly glided up to the door, and pushed it open.
"Off we go then."
Moaning woke Mr. No-Brake from his nap, and growling, he was about to hit his dog when he realized that it was that annoying GetBacker making the noise.
Argh. Stupid man. Stupid chains stopping me from hitting the stupid man. Stupid ducks for getting me into a situation where I was put in the stupid chains that stop me from hitting the stupid man...
Growling, he turned, and tried his best to ignore the softening noises from the other side of the room.
Swirling colours surrounded him as he stood on in the middle of a seemingly endless sea of mist.
What the hell's happening here?
The clouds cleared, and all of a sudden, he realised that he was on a high platform, overlooking a post-apocalyptic world. Broken buildings surrounded him, and chunks of concrete littered the ground with dead tree branches and telephone wire adding variety.
He saw two dots in the sky, coming closer, closer, closer, growing into two vague figures, one light, and one dark.
I see wings?
They settled on two pieces of a broken sky scraper, focusing their attention on him.
Choose.
The mist rose, and the two figures came into sharp detail. One was bright with angelic feathers and floating crystalline hair. Green eyes sparked, and a smile beckoned. The other was dark, with a dragon's leathery sails. Red eyes glowed from behind strands of liquid night.
An angel and a demon?
CHOOSE.
All of a sudden, his voice unfroze, and Ban said,
Well, obviously I'd pick the light one. Why the hell would I choose a demon? I've already got one in my arm.
The angel's limpid green eyes shone as it floated down and pulled him into its embrace, and then its smile widened, baring pointed fangs.
"You chose death, child of the cursed eyes. Never trust outer appearances."
The angel flashed its fangs, opening a gash down his cheek, and blood stained its white wings crimson.
Ban let out a strangled squawk.
Shit, that hurt!
As Ban twisted and squirmed, trying to get out of the angel's iron grip, the dark one cocked her head to the side, and looked on sadly.
"Know that you should not always fear darkness, for things are always worse before they are mended, as you should know well, wielder of Aesclepius. Remember what you have learned. It will be important."
Damn it! Of all the people in the world, it would have to be me that gets stuck with the freaky eyes, the bitchy snake spirit and the weird visions. Well FUCK THAT! I'm waking up now!
And then he did, gasping and sweaty, and the angel's hands about his neck became warmed links of steel.
"'Bout time you woke up, stupid. You've been writhing on the floor grunting for the last half hour, and it's been bothersome."
Pulling himself into a sitting position, Ban blew a strand of hair out of his face. "Well, if you don't like it, then get us out of here!" Sighing, he sat back, and grumbled, "I need a smoke."
"Onii-san!"
"What, Shinigami?"
"Don't you think it's boring just to kill things?"
"Not really, why?"
"Because it's a lot harder to put someone out of service without killing them. After all that takes skill."
"All right... Your point is?"
"5 points for unconsciousness, 1 point for wounding into submission, and negative 5 for killing."
"... That sounds reasonable."
"Yosh!"
AN: That's the end of Chapter 5.
Sorry all, I saw a Ban icon with "Pocky Pimp!" emblazoned on it and wrote in a second dream ;
But you're not seeing it 'til next week X3 ((Because I didn't have enough humour -.-;))
To my betas: Hehe, I just added the point system in for the sheer amusement of thinking "5 points! 10 points! I'm beating you!" and comparing them to Lord of the Rings
Oh no, the cousins will come haunt me too /swt/ Will I survive? XD