Title: May the Force be with you.
Author: Nodakskip
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: None of the Buffy stuff belongs to me, that's all Joss and his various entities; ditto the Star Wars stuff, that's belonging to George Lucas et al.
Setting: AU from Buffy season 2 episode "Halloween", and continues to the end of season 3. Contains a Buffy and Star Wars crossover.
Summary: YAHF. But this one has a bit of a Star Wars twist.
---
Abandoned warehouse, Sunnydale, California. October 31st, 1997
It had been one hell of a night.
Lady Elizabeth cowered away in fear, as the unkempt...brute came closer. A happy look on his inhuman face. "Look at you. Shaking." The vampire punctuated every word with a menacing step closer. "Terrified. Alone. Lost little lamb."
She trembled, as William the Bloody backed her up against a wall. They stared at each other for mere moments, before his right hand lashed out and slapped her - hard. Lady Elizabeth fell like a helpless girl, as blood flowed from the corner of her mouth.
"I love it," Spike crowed victoriously in his Cockney accent, looking down on her.
"Buffy!" Angel struggled with all his might against the two monsters holding him.
Spike reached down and grabbed his victim by the neck. And with one powerful undead hand, he lifted Lady Elizabeth up and slammed her against a wooden crate. The soulless demon leaned into the crying girl, getting incredibly aroused by the fear in her eyes, the way her lips were trembling...
"I wonder, Slayer. Just HOW should I kill you? Maybe snap your neck? Drain you like a nice pint o' beer, or maybe deflower you in front of your lapdog over there?"
The terrified noblewoman shut her eyes tight in fear of the last suggestion. She had heard of the animals like this, forcing young women to perform...ungodly acts for them. But even in her wildest nightmares at her uncle's castle, she'd never thought she would ever be at the mercy of one.
A quick, clean death would be preferable, yes. After all - she might not be allowed to dwell with the Lord, if she was made unclean at this monster's hands...
"What do you say, Angelus?" Spike asked his old...friend as he looked up at him, while his free hand felt the covered bosoms under Buffy's dress.
"Hey, no naughty touching!" Willow yelled, as she tried to run at Spike…
And ran right through him.
The blond male vampire got a good laugh at that. "This'll just work out great, now, won't it?" He looked back towards Angel. "I'll just get her dress off, mate, and we can both see if the goods were worth you bein' leash-trained by her. Plus the redhead gets to watch, and can't do a bloody thing to stop it!"
"She cannot, but I can."
Spike spun to the entrance to see his true vampire guards gone, and two people standing there. Both of them strangely dressed, even by Sunnydale standards.
The first was a tall alien-looking woman, in a skimpy leather outfit and boots. She had twin tentacles growing from the back of her head, that were also wrapped in thin straps of leather. Besides the nice amount of cleavage her leather outfit displayed, the most amazing thing about her was that her skin was light blue.
The other figure was in white armor, even its head; it was completely covered with a white helmet and faceshield, a thin black T-shaped visor the only concession for its eyes. A dullish splash of yellow went down the middle of the head and body. He, or at least it held itself like a he, had obviously been in a few scrapes tonight, the battle armor looked a little worn...
However, Spike's main worry was the long black gun of some sort that was pointed directly at his head.
"And who are you two supposed to be?" Spike demanded with a grin, trying scare them with his bravado. "Sorry, but we 'aven't got no bite-size Snickers or Three Musketeers here. Look, I'm in the middle of a bloody meal, so you two can just sod off before I-"
"Let go of the girl, right now!" the female ordered.
For her spot, Willow gasped when she saw the duo come into the light. "Cordelia?" (Oh my God!) she thought. (She's all blue, and-and alien-ish, and Xander's wearing that weird stormtrooper armor…but it wasn't yellow before?)
"Ooh..." Spike said mockingly towards Cordelia. "What is this, I'm supposed to be afraid of the big bad Smurf?"
Cordelia just looked at him for a moment, before Spike's hand was wrenched free from Buffy's neck by some unseen force as she gestured with her left palm.
"Hey! What the hell?" was all that that the British vampire got out, before he was flung hard against the wall by the same unseen force.
Xander Harris, in his armor, fired his blaster - nailing the evil undead, dead center in the chest "Ow! That bloody hurt, you ponce!" Spike yelled angrily, as he clutched the charred wound.
Angel, knowing that the two possessed teenagers wouldn't understand, quickly called to them, "He's a vampire! Just cut off his head!"
Snap-hiss.
Everyone's eyes were suddenly glued to the blue energy blade that appeared in Cordelia's hand. (Oh, wow...) Willow thought to herself. (Is that really what I think it is?)
"Oh, sodding hell..." And before Spike could make any jokes about how Angelus used to be his Yoda and beg his grandsire for help, the lightsaber blade sliced through his neck, decapitating him.
As his dust exploded outwards and fell to the ground, all the children-turned-demons ran for the exits.
"Let them leave," Cordelia told the armor-clad Xander, as he took aim at the fleeing escapees. "I sense they are not the true enemy."
Xander lowered his blaster instantly. "Yes, General."
"Thank you!" Buffy said as she hugged Cordelia. "I know not who you are, strange one. But my uncle will pay you well, for rescuing me from that fiend!"
"Xander?" Willow asked her best friend hesitantly, as she came over.
"That name is not known to me," the alien Jedi answered, thinking the question was for her. Her minion remaining silent and watchful, his gaze suddenly trained on Angel. "My name is Aayla Secura. Jedi Knight of the Galactic Republic..."
----
Ethan's Costume Shoppe, Sunnydale, California
Across town at that moment, Rupert Giles held the statue of Janus high above his head…and threw it to the ground, smashing it to a million pieces.
---
Abandoned warehouse, the very next moment
"...what the hell?" Cordelia Chase asked in horror, as she looked around. Back to her former self, as the blue lightsaber returned to being just a novelty toy and the blue on her skin just paint from Ethan Rayne's store. Ditto with the fake alien tentacles, that she had donned to beat Harmony Kendall in a costume competition. "Did I just kill a guy or what?"
Xander threw down the toy blaster and instantly took off his helmet, looking revolted - much to Willow's consternation. "Oh, Lord, I think I'm gonna hurl..."
"You're not the only one," Buffy Summers said, as she tore off her black wig in revulsion.
----
The Sunnydale High Library. November 1st, 1997
"Do you all remember what happened?" the Watcher asked his charges, as they all sat around the table.
"Yeah," Buffy said, still wigged out. "It was majorly weird. I just was like a passenger, in my own body..."
"Well, I was myself the entire time," Willow commented. "And hey, I won't ever make fun of the people on TV who say they had an out-of-body experience - ever again!"
"And you two?" Giles asked as he turned to Xander and Cordelia. He had already noticed rather odd behavior with regard to them. They had come in together and since then been in close contact, with not one insult hurled between them.
"Yes, sir," Xander replied, drawing looks from Buffy and Willow at his tone. "I remember it all. I was escorting my children when the spell hit me. I felt dizzy for a moment, and saw all the kids run off. A little later, I joined General…" he paused, looking at Cordy.
Then he shook his head, and continued with his normal Xander voice. "Sorry. I mean I hooked up with Cordelia here after she did the slice and dice-age on some demon, and then we tried to figure out where the heck we were..."
Cordelia nodded with his description. "Well, I was at my party and then the spell happened, so I went out to help when I heard the screams. It was really confusing...I mean, the star patterns were all wrong for one..." She nodded to Harris. "I saw Xander trying to help two young women escape into their home, so I assisted him. Afterwards, I ordered him to come with me-"
"Ordered?" Giles asked at once. "But why would he take orders from you? Did your costume persona know his?"
"No," Xander and Cordelia answered at the exact same time.
"Then I don't understand," Giles said. "Why?"
"He was a clone commander in the armed forces of the Old Republic," Cordelia said simply. Xander shuddering at how the magicks had made him a yellow clone, because the yellow ones were the commanders and had tons of combat battle training. "He recognized my authority as a Jedi Knight to take command, and so he obeyed me without question," the girl finished up.
"A Jedi Knight?" Giles asked in amazement, for even he had seen the Star Wars trilogy before. "Uh, it's been a long time since I've seen those movies - but I don't recall your character in them-"
"She wasn't in the first three episodes that that asswipe Lucas made," Cordelia said somberly, yet with definite annoyance. "She was dead by then. Aayla died in the Clone Wars, back when Chancellor Palpatine took supreme power over everything..." She then cast a steady gaze to Xander.
"Ah…Cordy," Harris said nervously. "You, you know that I would never…"
She kept a firm gaze on him, before nodding. "Yeah, Dweeb Boy. I mean - I know that you wouldn't, Xander."
"What? What would you never do?" Buffy demanded. "I mean, this doesn't sound like anything I've ever seen or read about..."
"Xander's a lot of things, but he would never betray and kill me like my clone troopers did on Felucia," Cordelia answered, Harris clearly averting his gaze from the brunette cheerleader.
Willow didn't understand. "But, but I thought the Emperor Palpatine didn't-"
"He didn't give the command to kill all the Jedi Order till much later," Xander told her. Shaking his head angrily he muttered, "Damned Order 66..."
"I still don't understand," Giles said. "Could one of you possibly explain in-in words of one syllable or less?"
Xander decided to step up, after a glance with Cordelia. "George Lucas is still writing the next trilogy right now, I gather, but somehow...Cordy and I have LIVED it. And jeez, but that guy knows how to bring a lot of angst into a movie series! See, what happens first is that when Obi-wan Kenobi and his Jedi Master Qui-Gon find a very young Anakin Skywalker-"
---
Ted Buchanan's apartment. December 1st, 1997
Xander and Cordelia were trapped by the demented robot, who had knocked them out and locked them up in his bunker o' love - after catching the intrepid duo spying on him. "You just HAD to insist we come here," Cordelia growled at her companion.
"Hey, I didn't insist that we charge in like a couple of idiots, oh wise and venerable Jedi," Xander sniped back.
"Like your tactical plan was SO much more brilliant?"
"Well, I'd call not getting whacked on the head and locked up while Robbie the Robot goes out to kill Buffy or Joyce, a GOOD thing!"
"Moron!"
"Idiot!"
"I hate you!"
"I HATE you!"
They flew into each other's arms, lips locked firmly together, and then collapsed onto the ancient 1950's style bed.
"We SO need to get outta here...afterwards!"
---
The Sunnydale High School lounge. October 12th, 1998
Yearbook pictures were being taken, as Oz posed for his shot. Xander and Willow started to walk out of the lounge as the redhead said, "You have to help me pick an outfit for Homecoming. I wanna wear something that makes Oz go all, um, 'oh'!"
Xander shrugged. "Not sure if my opinion's the way you really wanna go, Wills. Apart from white stormtrooper armor and Hawaiian shirts, my fashion sense basically sucks..."
Miss Rosenberg looked at him in annoyance, as that was basically a lie; over the last year or so - his wardrobe had changed a LOT. Having the hottest girl in school hanging off his arm, Xander had been forced - kicking and screaming, granted - to pick up some taste and style in clothing. "Fine. Then who do you suggest?"
Xander shrugged. "Ms. Calendar took you to that UC Sunnydale Wicca club meeting last week, right? And what was the name of that girl you hit it off with? Tara Maclay?"
---
Sunnydale High School quad. May 21st, 1999
On Graduation Day, Xander stood on top of his chair as he yelled out to his troopers. "Blue squad…fire!"
A dozen or so crossbows were fired into the long body of the newly-demonized Mayor, Richard Wilkins III. Xander could tell easily that it did nothing to the ascended creature, other than to piss him off. "Flame units, constant fire!"
The groups of jocks on both sides of the students let loose with the flame throwers to distract the Mayor, and give the students time to reload. (What I wouldn't give for a decent ion cannon right now, damn it!) he thought as Oz called to him, "Xander!"
Harris turned, already knowing the reason for the shout. "Bowmen!"
He watched with satisfaction as every other senior in the back row lit the gas-covered rags on the ends of the arrows, and then handed them to their partners. Within a matter of seven seconds, all of them were ready to go.
"Fire!" Xander yelled out.
Several vampires were hit and burst into flame. The vamps ran back the way they came, only to be stopped again. Angel and the students under his command wasted no time, charging into the group of undead.
A massive brawl that would make the fans of WWF very happy broke out between them. The students made up of the football and Tae Kwon Do clubs did better than expected, as it raged on. However, a few vampires get past them and ran for the parking lot - only to run into one last obstacle.
Cordelia took up a relaxed combat stance, as she ignited her homemade blue-white lightsaber. Daddy's money had definitely come in useful, before she'd discovered through the Force that he was a tax cheat, and destined for serious jail time at Lompoc Correctional...
The vamps wasted no time as they charged her, sun-bronzed warrior goddess though she appeared to be. And she flipped and twisted her body effortlessly, as Jedi Chase easily sliced through them all as if it was just a deadly dance...
---
1630 Revello Drive, Sunnydale. May 24th, 1999
"You'll write, won't you?" Willow asked him with a tear falling, as Tara held her tightly.
Xander Harris put the case of his custom-made blaster in the back seat, before he took Willow into a big hug. "Of course I will. I'll call AND write."
"You're sure about this, Xander?" Buffy asked him, for the seventh time in the last two hours.
"For the last time, yes I'm sure Buff," Xander said, as he leaned against the old convertible. "There are a lot of people who need help out there. You have got the Hellmouth covered, so it makes no sense for Cordy and me not to go south to LA, or maybe even over to Vegas..."
"You're sure this isn't more of that leftover 'General Cordelia' stuff?" Buffy pressed. "I know she's your girlfriend and all, but…"
"Talking about me again?" Cordelia asked calmly, as she came over and put her two suitcases into the trunk.
Buffy just shrugged. "Well, hey, you two want to go all A-Team or whatever, and I just don't think that it's wise-"
"First of all, the A-Team had a cool van," Xander smirked. "And second, Face and B.A. weren't sleeping together."
"You're not comparing me to a large black man with a Mohawk, are you Harris?" Cordelia asked jokingly as she came over and put her arm around her guy.
"Big no there," he told her. Before they shared a brief but intense kiss.
"Good," Cordy responded, before turning to Buffy. "Don't worry, Buffy, the Force will guide us to where we need to go. And one day soon, I suspect we'll be back. But right now? We need to get gone."
"G-good luck," Tara stammered, in her own way.
"Thanks," both the male and female warriors said, as they piled into Xander's car while waving goodbye, and left the Hellmouth behind.
The End?