Chapter Three: Meditation and Miroku's Crush

AN: Thanks once again to those who reviewed! You guys are great! Please keep reading and letting me know what you think. Let me know if I can improve anything or if there are any suggestions!

Miroku sat cross-legged under a small waterfall, dressed in a white robe. He was attempting to clear his mind and meditate but was having great difficulty. Thoughts and images kept racing around in his head, but he couldn't make much sense of them. Desperately, he tried to cling to them and compile them into some kind of understandable order, basically trying to piece together his life.

I can overcome this...I must. Whatever happened to me, I must remember. I just need to clear my mind, be calm and at peace, and surely it will begin to become clear.

He closed his eyes and attempted to let the thoughts and images simply flow. It was all so much to take in, but he had confidence that he would make sense of it. He saw a small boy, with dark hair...it was him. He looked confused and sad. A monk kneeled next to the boy. Then he saw a huge gust of wind, blowing with...such force, and the same boy, him, crying out...what was he saying? Father... His concentration momentarily broke, and he cried out, "Father, no!"

He was then calm once more. That was the scene of my father's death...just as Sango explained to me. He placed a hand to his head. Such horrible images...is my life so traumatic? He searched within his own mind for something more pleasant, and he saw her...

Despite the torment he felt surrounding this woman, she also exuded strength, courage, and beauty... She is indeed very beautiful... To think of her brought so many emotions. Thinking of her brought terrible pain, knowing the sadness she held inside. It was not merely that he sympathized with her, either. It felt like it was his own pain, that it was something that he wanted to share with her, if only to take some of the burden off her heart. He would gladly take it all, just to see her smile. She made him feel other things, as well. Things he felt like he shouldn't be feeling, considering he was a monk. He clearly favored her over others, and he wanted her for his own...he needed her.

"She brought happiness back to my life," He murmured. "Oh, what am I to do? It is obvious that I have a task to accomplish. For my father... For life... But is revenge truly the right path? It's not simply revenge, though. This demon is clearly very powerful and very dangerous. If I don't stop him, others will suffer, just as Inuyasha has, just as I have, just as Sango has... Am I capable of doing it? And will loving a woman cause my power to diminish and hinder my mission?"

He sighed and decided that was about all the meditation he could deal with for one day. It would be daylight in but a few short hours. He should get some sleep and perhaps the morning would bring some answers.

He slowly made his way back to the camp, to find that everyone had fallen asleep, except for the half-demon Inuyasha, who seemed to be keeping watch. He glanced up at him, perched in a tree. Inuyasha's ears twitched.

"Hey monk. Don't worry, I got ya covered in case any demon tries to attack tonight. Get some sleep...Tomorrow we're gonna figure this whole thing out and get you back to normal, so I can yell at ya about it." Inuyasha called down.

Miroku grinned. It must be Inuyasha's way of showing he cares. "Thank you. It may sound strange, but I believe I would gladly accept being yelled at in exchange for having my memory back." No matter how painful it may be...

Inuyasha gave a "Huh?" and turned his back on Miroku. "Whatever!" Though he would never show it, Inuyasha truly cared about Miroku and wanted him to return to normal as badly as the others.

Miroku wandered over to a nearby tree and sat down, leaning his head against it. Before closing his eyes, he glanced over at Sango. She truly is a beautiful and amazing woman. And she has such wonderful...features... He had a flashback of his hand on her butt. Hmm. That did seem familiar for some reason... I could get used to that feeling... He sighed. No, no, it's wrong to touch a woman like that. That's not the way to win a woman over! What am I saying! I shouldn't get involved...surely I have some kind of vows as a monk that I should be living by...But, I keep seeing her face in my head constantly...All these images of her, times together, and all these feelings... It is difficult to remember much about my life at all, except her. How can something be wrong that feels so right? I want to make her happy. I want to do something for her...

Sango stirred in her sleep and opened her eyes. She glanced over at him. Quickly he averted his gaze that had been plastered on her. She sadly turned over and closed her eyes once again. She made him nervous, but in a good way. Whenever he looked at her he got butterflies in his stomach, and when their eyes met...he felt completely immobilized. This was going to be much harder than he thought. Maybe I'll try flowers, he thought. He gazed at her for a moment more before closing his eyes.

AN: Ok guys, I hope that wasn't too sappy for anyone! Just to clarify, Miroku is really confused, but he is using all his power to bring back his memories. He is basically holding onto whatever comes back to him for dear life, hoping it will spark a complete return of memory. The feelings that are coming to him are indeed his own, but since he is not completely himself, he is handling them differently. He isn't pushing any feelings away but is instead embracing them, just thankful that he remembers something.