Author Notes
You know I've been thinking lately about stuff. Things have been going on lately but to me life has slowed down. There is nothing to do and for once I'm facing a slight bit of writer's block. I really don't know how my story looks to everybody. In a way, I'm kind of scared. Scared of peoples' opinion because sometimes the truth hurts. To me, the story is turning out the way I want it to, or at least what my mind comes up with in a bind. I like my story...but that is me. The problem is I want to write my stories and have fun but the reason why I post it online is for people to read them. And sometimes it gets to me. The fear of people disliking my stories.
With nothing to do, I've set back to doing my normal boring stuff. Gaming has grown tiring. And I haven't been with friends much. I've been listening to the Love Hina CDs lately, and just listening, following the tone, the melody, and the mood of the song itself. The CDs vary in melody, some soft and slow to some being energetic and fast paced. Some songs were so depressing they made me cry. And then there are some that bring me to reality like "Friendship".
"Friendship" kind of talks about how friends will always be together no matter how apart they are, but some of the friends I know who I leave behind are never the same again. Also, if you look at the Love Hina characters they were great friends in the beginning and seemingly great friends until the end of the anime/manga, but through all that bitterness and built up hatred you know one day that friendship would crumble.
I always find myself listening to the song when I'm tired or bored and every time when I listen to the song, I feel more and more depressed. The fact that the friends I have had not that perfect friendship, the fact that the friends fought over one guy and in my interpretation of Love Hina would break apart because of the guy, and thinking back I wished there was more episodes of Love Hina. Every time I listen to the song it reminds me of the series and how I didn't want it to end. More or less I thought the series began in Love Hina Again, where our dearest princess, Kanako, entered the scene. Maybe it is just how Kanako and I are the same that made me favor her, but she brought a new found life into Love Hina. She was finally one person who would not back down from her love, she pressed on without looking back, and she gave that presence that changed the tone for everything in Love Hina.
Three episodes. Only three episodes Kanako was in. Considering the anime at least. Kanako I felt was everything Love Hina needed and more. Every Love Hina girl had their own personality and background, great variation, but overall, every single character backed away and kept their love stored away from Keitaro. The fact that Kanako came in with Motoko's demeanor, Shinobu's background, and this new straightforwardness filled in everything that was missing in Love Hina. Overall, I believe that Kanako deserved Keitaro the most because of her devotion to him and how she never held back on her feelings. Then again, I thought Shinobu deserved Keitaro just as much because how much she cared for him and in times when everyone tried to kill Keitaro, she was defending him, she never hit him, and she never left his side. These two characters have had a sad and depressing background, but still cared greatly for the one they truly loved. Perchance, maybe it was pity that drove me to favor these characters but more or less if was their motive to love and how they acted towards it.
One more thing, I really despised the ending to Love Hina, the anime or manga, because I really hate Naru. The fact I hate Naru is because of how much she abused Keitaro, she was never straightforward, she never cared about him a lot, and she was the "villain" that took her away from all the more deserving girls like Shinobu. Every time Naru hit Keitaro, it gave a bad aftertaste that he still adored her. The fact she would hide her feelings and hurt him when in front of others shows her lack of care for him. And compared with Kanako, Naru had kept Keitaro in misery and in wait until she finally accepted his love. The fact that Naru had nothing of what Shinobu and Kanako possessed and still stole Keitaro's love was just heartbreaking in my eyes.
So, from another bit of my life to music to my own little POV of Love Hina Again and our two princesses, I'll present my third chapter of my story. I hope everyone will enjoy it. Please read, review, and enjoy. You reviewers mean so much to me. I write these stories for you and I hope that this story will bring enjoyment to everyone.
---
Chapter 3-Trust
In the silent kitchen, Shinobu worked hard and fast trying to make a quick serving of oyakodon. Chopping the chicken and the onions perfectly she added it in the frying pan with some soy sauce and a little sake to flavor, before adding the chicken a few minutes later. Making sure the rice wasn't over done she panicked, in a rush to finish it before Kanako wakes up as well as preparing a perfect brunch. Eyeing the clock, it was eleven now, and she wondered why Kanako had not gotten up yet. Deciding to make the best out of the time, she cooked the food, stirring the sauce and the chicken while, making sure the rice wasn't burnt.
Finally, after twenty minutes of stress, Shinobu finished her dish. She took out a plate and put the rice on top of it, and poured the oyakodon on the dish. Putting two lightly beaten eggs on top of the dish, she finished her little recipe. Smiling, a little happy in her work, she took it to the table. After staring at the table after a while, Shinobu turned back around and set the plate on the kitchen counter. She took out a new, clean tablecloth and replaced it with the dirtied and stained tablecloth. Walking back with the dish Shinobu set the plate at the end of one side of the table. There she laid gently a napkin to the right of the plate and some chopsticks over it. Sitting down on the opposite side of the table, she sat patiently awaiting Kanako to come down any second.
After a few minutes, Haruka who was leaning at the corner of the dining room for a while, sat down in a chair next to Shinobu. Haruka was curious herself of Shinobu's motive in making the food for Kanako and also suspicious herself on Shinobu so-called sleepover in Kanako's room. She looked at Shinobu who seemed to be thinking of something else, almost as if distracted from something.
"Well, let's get down to business. Shinobu-chan, why are you making this food for Kanako? This really doesn't make sense. If you have anything you have say, you can tell me you know. It really seems that you're hiding something," Haruka said.
Shinobu looked up at Haruka to meet her eyes; she didn't know what to say really. Being someone who never opened up much to anyone, Shinobu decided to talk to Haruka expecting Haruka to be a person she could trust and to keep a secret. Also, she was desperate to talk to someone in an one-on-one conversation, so the chat was way overdue. Shinobu slowly and still nervously began recalling her last night and her unusual morning.
"It all started last night, you know," Shinobu started in a soft tone, "I wanted to talk to Kanako about him. I wanted to know more, you know, like how she fell in love. I guess I wanted to talk to her, to know why everyone else fell in love with him. It seems like Kanako-san would know him the best seeing she lived with him during her childhood. I thought that might help me feel better. Also...I wanted to get to know Kanako-san better. I wanted to be...be her friend. So, I went to her room, to talk with her, but she wasn't there. So, I looked out the window to look at the stars and there she was in the hot springs, just laying there. After a while, I fell asleep there and when I woke up I was in Kanako-san's bed."
"Strange, Kanako doesn't act that way usually. It's nice that she finally has company. If you need to talk about anything, you can always ask me," Haruka said in her normal voice, but eyeing Shinobu as if to try to detect a lie. Haruka had gotten from her chair and was leaving. She felt she didn't need to hear the other part of the story, that part was enough for her to piece the puzzle together.
Shinobu wanted to continue more because after she had opened up, she wanted to continue to free herself from these feelings that she kept trapped within her. When she saw Haruka leave, she felt a little depressed, like she was alone again like she always was. Not wanting to disturb Haruka, Shinobu decided to let Haruka leave. Shinobu wanted to talk more, though, opening up just a little to Haruka had lightened the burden that was placed on her heart if just for a little. So, she decided to ask one more question before Haruka left.
Nervously, she asked, "What was Kanako like when she was little?"
With a little laugh, Haruka answered, "That kid really was strange and quiet. She never talked much. He just opened her eyes a little. It's sad how it ended up, though."
With that Haruka exited the dining room and Shinobu left to try to unravel Kanako's past. Haruka always talked in such a general fashion, that everything she said was black and white. So, black and white, Shinobu couldn't imagine a bit of how Kanako's past could have been like. Haruka talked almost like in riddles, but the chat was something she needed. It was first decent conversation she had with anyone about her feelings lately. She used to go to Naru for these chats, but Naru was married now and it seemed harder to talk to Naru about the feelings she has for Naru's husband. It seemed wrong to talk to someone about that stuff especially when it's their husband, so little by little Shinobu stopped talking to Naru first about him, then she stopped asking Naru about school problems and after a while they stopped communicating at all.
Days passed and the lack of having someone to open up to increased the burden for Shinobu. All this time, she held all these mixed feelings in. She kept all these feelings secretly locked in her heart, never to be told and after all this time, her heart could not take no more. The confusion in love, the confusion in everything, her heart held so many feelings she felt her heart was about to burst. After a while, she grew desperate, she needed someone to talk to. She needed someone to replace Naru, someone who would listen and she could feel safe talking to. He was definitely out of the picture. She felt that Motoko and Kitsune couldn't relate. Su and Sarah were still too childish. And Mutsumi passed out so much it was hard to have a decent talk with her. Seemingly it wasn't that she wanted to help Kanako, but that she grew distressed and she needed someone to talk to. Someone she could run to when she had a problem. Or someone who would hold her when she had to cry. Someone who would be there for her. She had mourned for that person since she knew she lost him and all those times, she held in all the pain, anguish, hate, envy, depression, and sadness in her heart until she could take no more. She fought against the darkness and she never surrendered, but she needed someone to cleanse her heart and purify it. Day by day, she would smile and press on, never allowing that darkness to escape, but the darkness within her was so painful.
After waiting for a few more minutes, she eyed the plate and noticed the food was getting cold, so she decided to bring it to Kanako's room. A little worried that Su might eat the food if she didn't take it with her; she carried the plate with one hand as she headed up the stairs to Kanako's room. Opening the door quietly, she tiptoed in the room placing the dish beside Kanako. Shinobu stared at Kanako's resting form for a few more seconds before waking her up.
Finally, Shinobu softly nudged Kanako's body. Failing to awake Kanako, Shinobu nudged harder. After a few failed attempts, Shinobu sensed something was wrong. Softly, she shook, Kanako's body, and after about a minute, Kanako about her eyes. Happy to see Kanako awake, Shinobu smiled, and said, "Good morning Kanako-san. Thanks for yesterday. Um...I made you breakfast."
Kanako just stared at Shinobu weakly and closed her eyes again, Shinobu started to notice that Kanako's face was red and getting redder by the second. Feeling her head, Shinobu noticed that Kanako was burning up and definitely had a fever. Rushing downstairs, she got some ice and wrapped it around a towel. Hurrying back in Kanako's room she placed the cold towel on Kanako's head. Then, in her frantic state, she ran to his room only to find that he wasn't there. In a panic, for she didn't know how bad Kanako's condition was, she hurried to the shrine, to get Motoko, for she was desperate to get help for Kanako. Running as fast as she can, she reached Motoko out of breath.
Taking Motoko's arm and disturbing Motoko from her meditation, she said in a frantic state, "You got to help me! Kanako-san, she's real sick. Last time I checked her face was really red and her head was really hot. Sempai isn't here, so please, help me Motoko-san. I-I need you to help me tend to her because-because I can't see her like this!"
Seeing how sudden it was and how worried Shinobu looked, Motoko rushed back to Hinata-Sou. The way Shinobu had put it, it seemed like Kanako was dying. Motoko herself didn't take Kanako for much. She always saw her as a passive person. Kanako would live in Hinata-Sou quietly not bothering a single thing. That silence and Motoko's lack of opening her eyes to the world had made Kanako almost invisible to her.
Making it quickly back to Hinata-Sou, Motoko rushed up the stairs just to find herself lost in trying to find Kanako's room. After catching up, Shinobu spotted Motoko at the end of the hallway. Calling out Motoko's name, Shinobu signal that Kanako's room was where she was. Shinobu hurried in again and quickly kneeled to check Kanako's condition, only to find Kanako now coughing weakly.
Shinobu looked down at the floor and said, "Kanako-san, you'll be okay, I got Motoko-san, and I'll get everyone here. Motoko-san's going to take care of you and I'll be beside you until you get better."
Motoko entered the room, looking around with a little curiosity for she never was in the room before. After carrying Kanako into bed like Shinobu had told her to, she exited immediately saying, "I'll make some herbal tea."
As Motoko left the room, Shinobu had realized she was alone again. Now, that Kanako was carried onto the bed, Shinobu had realized that Kanako slept in her underwear and probably caught a cold because the bed sheets were too thin. Gently, she took the blanket which was on the floor and tucked Kanako in like she was her mother. Shinobu had thought if Kanako got dressed maybe she would feel warmer, but the thought of her changing Kanako into clothes made her blush again. Something like that in her mind was so impure, so instead, she went in Kanako's drawers, and took out Kanako's white blouse that she wore almost all the time, when she wasn't in disguise and a pair of blue shorts that used to be his.
Placing the clothes beside the bed, Shinobu said, "I'm going to get Sempai, you just get dressed and Motoko will get the herbal tea ready in no time."
When Shinobu was about to leave, she saw the plate of oyakodon she prepared on the floor, not a single bit ate. Feeling very disappointed that Kanako didn't eat any of it she carried it back out of the room and set the plate back on the dining room table. Staring at it for a little while, she decided to throw it away, feeling that the meal was supposed to be for Kanako and if Kanako couldn't have it, then nobody could. The dish was special in her mind, as if it was seasoned with love. Heading to the kitchen, she emptied the food into the trash can and put the plate in the sink. Motoko was busy mixing the herbs for the tea, so Shinobu had decided not to bother her and headed back out to find him. In Shinobu's mind, all she needed to do was find him, for he was the only person that made her happy.
Running all around Hinata-Sou, Shinobu finally found him in his room planning on what to do on the upcoming beach vacation. More or less, he was setting an arranging for the perfect time when he and Naru can be alone. The fact was his marriage didn't go to way it planned. It seemed so much of a rush how Grandma Hina had proposed he get married in such quick terms. Thinking back, he thought, he might have made the wrong choice, but he didn't want to admit he might really have made a mistake. As time passed by, Naru's company meant less and less to him, and now desperate to try to bring back that passion he once to have for her, he wanted to make the perfect plans for them to be together alone. The thing was their marriage he thought would seal everything and would tie the ribbon. Everything would be fulfilled and Naru and he could live happily ever after, but now he knew life wasn't a fairy tale.
Shinobu came up to him unnoticed and surprised him a little; quickly he closed the notepad he was writing his schedule on so Shinobu wouldn't notice. Shinobu stood in front of him and said, "Kanako-san's sick and I thought she might want some company. Can you come to her room with me? It'll make her feel a lot better."
All he did was nod and say, "I'll be there in a second. Let me just finish something. Why don't you keep Kanako company for just a little while?"
Nodding a sign of acknowledgement, she speed walked back to Kanako's room. Walking in the room, she noticed Motoko was pouring Kanako a cup of tea. Not knowing much about sicknesses, Shinobu asked Motoko almost scared for an answer, "It isn't serious is it?"
"No, she just has a cold," Motoko said, "She'll get better in no time, it was probably really cold yesterday and she wasn't wearing enough clothes, so her body was vulnerable. If you need anymore help Shinobu-chan, don't mind to ask me." Before leaving Motoko handed Kanako the cup of tea and gave a slight bow as sign of respect.
Shinobu walked in cautiously, worried that maybe Kanako did not want her in the room, but after a while, she found it okay and took a seat beside Kanako, who was now sitting on the bed, sipping the hot tea. Once again, she looked down, feeling guilty, she felt she was the reason why Kanako got sick. Lost in words, she said, "I'm sorry about everything Kanako-san, the blanket if you kept it, you wouldn't have been sick." Silence surrounded the room, Shinobu didn't know if Kanako was angry at her, or what Kanako felt. Kuro had jumped on the bed and started walking around Kanako. "Um...I really appreciate the blanket Kanako-san. If I can do anything for you...um…like maybe make you some soup."
Kanako sat there sipping her tea in silence; she herself was lost for words. She was still confused. The questions that circled her mind last night, she still searched for an answer. What disturbed her was that Shinobu was there sitting right next to her. Deciding there was no better time then now, Kanako asked in a cold voice, "Why were you in my room yesterday?"
Shinobu still looking down, almost frightened from Kanako's piercing glare and harsh voice. Taken off guard, not expecting the question, she closed her eyes, and said, "I came here to talk. I wanted to be your...I just wanted to talk with you about him and...and I want to get to know you. I want to get to know you because...because you seem so lonely. You never talk to anyone and I thought you might want someone to talk to. The thing is I want to be your friend." After those few sentences everything else seemed to come out so easy. Shinobu sat on the bed scared that Kanako wouldn't accept her. Closing her eyes, she already awaited Kanako to yell at her and kick her out of her room, but nothing happened.
Kuro had finally calmed down and sat on Kanako's lap. Kanako started petting the cat with her free hand. When Shinobu said she wanted to be her friend, she didn't know what to say. She wondered if Shinobu was saying it from her heart or if those were just words of pity. She felt so vulnerable and open. The fact she was lonely was because she never wanted to be friends with anyone and the reason why she didn't have friends was because the only friend she ever had rejected her. The only person she ever opened up to had slowly drifted away from her and now she started to see that other side of him. The side that cared for her because he pitied her not because he truly loved her. Of all the responses, she never expected that one, part of her wanted to open up and hug Shinobu, another part of her questioned Shinobu's motive and suspected Shinobu of lying.
Thinking back to last night, she decided that Shinobu had no reason to come to her room, so Shinobu's reason to come probably was to talk. Still, she was reluctant to open up after her past experiences. Taking a deep breath, she said in a harsh tone, "I don't need friends..."
Shinobu had gotten a plan ready if Kanako were to say that, but now that Kanako did, she felt hurt. The words stung worst then she could have imagined. It felt almost like she lost him again to Naru. She placed a hand one Kanako's lap and squeezed it a little hard. Her eyes started getting teary from the comment. In a tone that showed her misery and how hurt she was, she said, "Losing him...I know is hard, but I know the hurt you felt Kanako-san because I felt it too and I want to be your friend because I think we can help each other fill that pain in our hearts." Shinobu slowly slid her hand that was on Kanako's lap onto Kanako's chest and rested her head on her shoulder. "I know it hurts Kanako-san, please...just please let me mend it."
Shocked from the sudden action, Kanako blushed seeing Shinobu come on to her so suddenly. She took hold on Shinobu's wrist and gripped on to it tightly. About to jerk the hand off from her chest, she paused and heard Shinobu's words. Those words left her senseless, but the words came out so sincere and seemed so much from the heart, that Kanako loosened her grip on Shinobu's wrist and finally rested her hand on Shinobu's. Turning her head to look at Shinobu's face, she saw the face of an innocent girl who needed someone to cry to. Staring into those lovely orbs, she knew Shinobu was holding back tears. A small smile came from Kanako's face and she said, "You can cry all you want, I'll be right here for you."
Shinobu with the other arm clung to Kanako's arm, which caused some of the tea to spill on her, but she really didn't care. She felt real happy to know that Kanako accepted her. It was great to really have made another friend. She remembered the time she didn't have any friends and she lived alone with her parents and now she had so many friends, but something was still missing. This moment with Kanako seemed to make everything seem so complete. Resting her head on Kanako's shoulder, she smiled, a single crescent of happiness sliding down her cheek. Wishing she could stay like that forever, she closed her eyes and let silence that it's course. A smile across her face, unlike any smile she had before, a smile that disappeared for a few years and came back. Shinobu was lost in her own dream world, a world she called heaven.