Chapter Three: Life, Love, and Absolute Lunacy
LoneWolfPrincess: I'm BACK! I'm sorry it's been a while (again), but I've been a very busy girl, what with co-starring in fics, protecting my fellow authors/authoresses from Gender Discrimination and pyromaniacs (you know who you are, you cowards glares), getting my orange and blue belts in karate, and being the number one groupie for my local theater's production of the all-around American classic, the Wizard of Oz (my dad's the music director and the Scarecrow's so CUTE!). But I swear on my beret, it'll NEVER take this long for me to update ever again! Well, since Jack is off doing other community service stuff, I've decided that I'm gonna torture Raimundo today!
Raimundo (drinking a Coke not mine but I'm more of a Pepsi girl that much so it's okay): (Sprays out soda due to the above line) WHAT! Why me! Why not Omi or Kimiko or Clay!
LWP: In order, Omi doesn't keep secrets very well so nothing to blackmail (yet ;) ), Kimiko would beat me up if I tried, and you very darn well know that I would never do anything of the sort to my sweet handsome Clay. (Grins and blushes at the thought of his bishiness) Besides, you're more fun. And you need to be punished for turning evil in the last episode of Season One. (To readers) Which reminds me: you guys still don't know how Raimundo came back to the Xiaolin side yet. Fear not, for next chapter, you will have your answers! And I'm sorry if everything differs a little from Season Two. Everything for this fic's already been planned out from the beginning, so if I changed it, it wouldn't work all that well. (To Raimundo) Now read the disclaimer or I'll do something I really don't want to do.
Raimundo: Like what? Ruin your diet?
LWP (head grows big and scary and flames appear in the background): I AM NOT ON A DIET! (Calms down) I'm nice and skinny, thank you very much. But I suppose if you don't mind being paired up with Katnappé in this fic, you don't have t--
Raimundo: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What do ya mean, "pair me up with Katnappé"? I hate Katnappé! (Don't we all?)
LWP: You forget, o Insolent One, that I am the authoress. That means I can make the characters of my stories act however I want, think whatever I want, say whatever I want, feel whatever I want, and, my personal fave, fall in love with whomever I want. So, unless you want your new girlfriend to find out about Mr. Fluffy-kins--
Raimundo: You're crazy! I don't know how Clay can possibly stand you, girl!
LWP: It's quite simple, actually. At the end of each disclaimer, I secretly place a special microchip on that chapter's disclaimer reader person's clothes. Then, exactly one minute after the chip has been placed, it sends a special electric charge throughout the entire body, making them forget they were even blackmailed. So nobody has to know. (Winks) Now read the disclaimer or the teddy gets it! (Holds a chainsaw up to Mr. Fluffy-kins' throat)
Raimundo: You-- You-- (Sighs) Fine. The LoneWolfPrincess does not own Xiaolin Showdown, but she does own Miakoda, Torri, the Hunting Dog Arrow, the Dragon's Heart, the Vortex Shield, and half-owns Squeaky. Just stay away from Mr. Fluffy-kins, you brat! And you'd better not pair me up with Katnappé!
LWP (magically pulls out her sunglasses and puts them on): Now what on Earth gave you that crazy idea? (Grins)
Raimundo (question marks): Huh?
(Suddenly, the chip that the LoneWolfPrincess secretly slipped into the hood of Raimundo's shirt is activated, sending excruciatingly painful electricity into his brain, erasing all the memories of the blackmailing, and making him look like Las Vegas celebrating Christmas on the Fourth of July all in one fell swoop.)
LWP (entranced): Ooh… The colors!
(All of a sudden, the lightshow stops giving Raimundo a chance to recover.)
LWP (pouts): Awww… and we didn't even get to the grand finale.
Raimundo (covered in and spitting out ash): Huh? What just happened?
LWP: You were just about to go and buy me a couple of pints of Ben and Jerry's (not mine, but I wish) Half Baked ice cream and tell Dannii and Britany that I'm dedicating this chapter to them as a late birthday present. (Grins)
Raimundo (confused look): Okay?
(And so, Raimundo sets off to fetch the LoneWolfPrincess some ice cream and to dedicate the chapter to two of LWP's best friends. But one question rings through his mind as he proceeds to his tasks.)
Raimundo (thinking): Why do I have the sudden urge to ask Katnappé out on a date? I don't even like her!
Mia looked down at the glowing turquoise waters of the hot spring and brushed her soggy ponytail back off her shoulder so that it draped over the back of her dark blue bathing suit. It was so hot that steam completely surrounded the pool and she couldn't see anything past the spring's edge. She had been there for quite a while now, and for some strange reason she was really nervous to look to her left. Finally, she took a deep breath and glanced out of the corners of her eyes. Clay, who appeared to have been looking at Mia for some time, averted his glance to the pool when their eyes met.
Mia smiled and tucked her bang behind her ear so it didn't cover a third of her face anymore. They were the only ones in the spring. No Omi or Kimiko or Raimundo or Torri; they were all alone. She looked at him again. A strong, naturally muscular body decked in a pair of dark blue trunks, tranquil, royal sapphire eyes partially hidden beneath flaxen bangs, and a small, mysterious freckled smile not unlike her own. She had never noticed it until now, but Clay was very attractive. And his personality was perfect, too. He was capable of great strength, but only used it when it was absolutely necessary. Gentle, chivalrous, patient, intelligent, honest, kind to people and animals; he was truly worthy of her affection.
Yeah, right. What was she thinking? She probably had a better chance with Dojo. Kimiko had the upper hand in that department. She was prettier and more popular and open and fashionable than she would ever be. Mia, on the other hand, was tomboyish, secretive, moody, slightly dark, a little on the sarcastic side, not that quick to trust, and deep down inside, she could be a little insecure; what the heck would a nice guy like Clay find attractive about that? Mia turned her eyes back to the water when Clay's turned towards her, not noticing a slight twitch in one corner of his smile as she did. What would a boy like him possibly like about--
Mia's train of thought was broken as she felt something touch her. Mia looked next to her to see that Clay had scooted closer to her and placed his hand on top of hers. Mia's cheeks turned a rosy pink as she looked at Clay and smiled. Clay scooted even closer and moved his powerfully built arm from her hand and placed it around her shoulder. Mia nestled her head onto his shoulder and placed her hand on the other one as Clay completed the hug. He was so close she could hear his heartbeat, feel his breath. Her own heart was racing a mile a minute and she could barely breathe. This was heaven!
"You know, Mia? You're the prettiest girl I've ever met," Clay whispered before he kissed her hairline.
"Really?" Mia lifted her head to see him smile and give a nod before he kissed her cheek. There was something about that kiss; it was so close to her mouth that the corners touched. The corner of Mia's smile twitched as he cupped her cheek in his hand, closed his eyes, and started to lean closer to her. Her already racing heart was going into overdrive and butterflies were entering her stomach as she followed the suit until…
Mia's eyes fluttered open as faint sunlight entered her room. It was all just a dream! She pounded her pillow and muttered "Dang it!" under her breath. LWP: (Snickers) Don't you just love it when that happens? I'm sad, doing something like that to my own alter ego. Okay, movin' right along, people, nothing to see here.
"Have a nice night, Mia?" Mia yelped and jumped against the wall when she noticed Torri next to her. She was so dead; Mia spoke in her sleep.
"Yeesh, Mia. What'd you do, sneak the Mantis Flip Coin under your pillow?"
"Oh. Good morning, Torri. Yeah, I had a very… interesting dream last night."
"Clay almost kissed you, didn't he?" Torri asked with a sneaky little grin. Mia turned a bright pink and her eyes bugged out in horror. She wasn't just dead; she was dead, resurrected, and dead again to the seventh power.
"Don't be ridiculous, Torri. What the heck gave you that crazy idea?"
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it was the fact that when I came to check up on you, you were muttering, 'Clay… Clay, I love you so much' in your sleep, and the fact that you woke up at sunrise, and that you always wake up before sunrise unless you have a vision or a really good dream, and the fact that you got angry when you woke up, and--"
"I get it, Torri."
"What I'm trying to say is, Mia…" Torri's sugar-high smile took over. "You think he's pretty, you want to kiss him, you think he's gorgeous, you want to hug him, you think he's so hot, you want to date him, you think he--"
"Shut up! I most certainly do not!"
"Right…" And Torri gave a cough that sounded a lot like "denial".
"Don't try to pull the coughing fit on me, Torri. And I am so not in 'denial' because I have absolutely nothing to deny!"
Torri placed her hands firmly on Mia's shoulders. "Relax, Mia. I get these dreams all the time. It's perfectly natural for girls our age. I promise I won't tell a soul. Besides, I think you've got a pretty good chance with him. I can tell." Torri winked, not noticing that all of this was having a not-all-that-positive effect on her best friend.
"Let me make this clear for the last time, Victoria: I didn't have any of those boy-crazy, idiotic, sugar-induced dreams to begin with," Mia repeated as calm as possible, which wasn't quite that calm. "I never have, and I'm sure as heck that I never ever will. I will die before I dream of men that way! And if you tell anyone otherwise, you shall pay dearly. Do I make myself clear… friend?"
Torri face became sneaky again. "Uh-huh. Sure, whatever, Mia. Just one question, though: if you're so darn sure about all this, then why are you getting so flustered?" Mia gave an angry smile and her temple started throbbing as she clenched her fists.
"Torri," Mia said in a bittersweet voice through gritted teeth, left eye twitching rapidly. "I think I smell something. Do you think it's breakfast already?"
Torri gasped as her grin became sugar-high again. "Food!" Mia smirked as Torri zoomed out the door. Victory was hers. But Torri did have a point. How come she was so angry when she woke up? Why did she try so hard to prove her point? Sure, she was moody, but she hardly ever got that irritated. It was just a silly dream. And why was it about Clay? Why not Omi or Raimundo? It didn't take a second before the thought repulsed her. But with Clay, it just seemed so… right. Why?
Mia smiled, gently placed two fingers where she could still feel Clay's dream-kiss, and kicked this train of thought out of her mind as she wrote down the dream in her vision journal.
Mia punched even harder only to have Clay block it again for the eleventh time today. She sat down in the grass and took a minute to catch her breath. Now she knew why Clay was given Earth as an element: this guy was downright impossible to beat. Every blow she served was blocked, dodged, or completely ignored, and he wasn't even breaking a sweat! Clay sat down next to her as she thought this.
"Easy, partner. The way this is goin', you're gonna tire yourself out before we're halfway done."
"Well, cowboy, you're the expert. If you've got any advice, I'm open for suggestions."
"All right. I think you need to work on your defenses a little. Try being a little less aggressive."
"Well, I've never really worked on physical defense before. But I'm willing to give it a shot, so please teach me."
"Well, first you've gotta loosen up your stance a bit; you're a little too tense. That's more like it. Now, you take your right arm like this," he instructed, taking hold of her hand. Mia felt her cheeks heat up as Clay moved her arms like she was a statue formed from his namesake. Her heart was going a mile a minute and she could barely breathe. There were butterflies in her stomach again. Half of her brain was memorizing these new defense moves while the other was going through the dream she had last night and praying that she wasn't blushing. Seconds seemed like hours. She was going to faint any minute now.
"You all right, Mia?" Clay asked, freeing Mia from her thoughts. "You're feelin' hotter than a baby oyster at a clambake." Mia relaxed her tense fists to find out that her hands had gained a pink tinge and a slightly rubbery texture from perspiration.
"Um, sure, Clay. It's just kinda hot out today. I should probably get some water."
"Stop everything! We've got a brand new Shen-Gong-Wu!" Dojo yelled. As Mia ran over to the pint-sized Temple Guardian, she lifted her eyes towards the sky and gave a silent "thank you" to the Big Man Upstairs.
"So, what've we got?" Raimundo asked as Dojo opened the scroll. Inside was a silhouette of a round shield with something spiraling in the middle.
"Ah, the Vortex Shield; a most powerful Shen-Gong-Wu. It carries a portal that sends anything that hits it into another dimension," Omi narrated as the little cartoon demonstrated.
Torri whistled. "Now that's-a one-a interestin' piece of equipment, there," she commented in a slight Italian accent.
"Well, if that's the case, let's go get it."
Kimiko: Stop right there!
LWP (slaps her forehead): Oh, no, not again. (Sighs) Okay, okay. White blouse, navy vest, burgundy skirt, black go-go boots, navy beret, and for the hair… how about your normal hairstyle in French braids? You have such pretty hair, Kimiko.
Kimiko (checks out the outfit): Classy. I like it, I like it. Thanks.
LWP: No, thank you. (Thinking) This is draining my creative juices big time! That's it, Kimi-chan! No more shopping sprees for you until Chapter Four. (Out loud) Now, let the fanfic commence!
"So, Mia, has he proposed yet? Wink wink, nudge nudge," Torri whispered in Mia's ear as they were flying over Eurasia. Mia let out a soft growl before answering.
"Torri, let me make this as clear as humanly possible: I don't like boys! I've never even met a boy until the night before last! I may be a human physically, but in mind, heart, spirit, and upbringing, I am a wolf! And wolves do not get crushes!"
"Right… Whatever, Mi-AAAHHH!" Torri was interrupted by Dojo pulling into a dive over the location of the shield. Mia barely stifled a chuckle, but Torri noticed. "Not funny."
Mia transformed her "idiotic" grin into a less embarrassing smirk. "Yes, it was." Then she looked down. "Wow."
"Sweet!" A few seconds later, Dojo had landed and shrunk to regular size. Omi was awed at their current location.
"What wondrous city is this?" Torri knelt down and pulled him close.
"This, dear little Omi, is Chez Paris!" Torri exclaimed, jumping up and squealing on the last syllable. "A city of bright lights, high arts, sweet romance," Torri raised her eyebrows playfully at Mia, who returned the favor with a slight glare. "Beautiful architecture, and gosh-darn good cookin'!"
"And mimes," Omi piped, hiding behind the rest of the group. "Like the one right behind you."
"Huh?" Torri turned around to find a mime standing behind her and tipping his hat. LWP: Three guesses, and the first two don't count. Torri just smiled and started speaking in fluent Italian. Luckily, the authoress was nice enough to provide subtitles in italics for the readers. LWP: They're onto us! RUN! (Does so while screaming like a crazy person)
"Ciao, signore. Hello, sir. Il mio nome è Torri. My name is Torri. I miei amici ed io siamo nella lega minore dell'ordine ungherese antico dell'anatra di gomma. My friends and I are in the junior league of the ancient Hungarian Order of the Rubber Ducky. Siamo su una ricerca per la a schermo-come la cosa con una spirale nella metà. We are on a quest for a shield-like thingy with a spiral in the middle. Visto qualcosa di simile intorno qui ultimamente? Seen anything like that around here lately?" Except for Mia and Le Mime, everyone's jaws dropped. Torri gave them a confused look. "What? He looks like a bilingual mime to me." Torri turned her gaze back to Le Mime, who was just stupid enough to put his arm around Torri's shoulder. "Aw, quello è così dolce. Aw, that's so sweet. Parliamo di questo là. Let's talk about this over there." Torri took the mime's arm and stepped a couple stores down the street. She slowly raised her hand to his cheek and… slapped him as hard as she possibly could. And again and again and again. Then she hit him square on the head with the blade of her hand and sweep kicked him onto his stomach. The Xiaolin Apprentices flinched and Mia just smiled and watched as Torri jumped up and down on the poor little mime. Finally, she stepped off and gently kicked him before coming back to her friends, brushing her hands against each other to rid them of imaginary filth. "Lo rendete triste. You make me sad," were her last words before walking back towards the group.
"As Nonna Giovanni would say, that mime was a Class A maiali piccoli ripugnanti repugnant little swine."
Mia smiled, totally nonchalant to the fact that her best friend just beat the living daylights out of a mime. "You can say that again." The other Warriors were still staring at Torri, jaws dropped, eyes twitching, and taking a tiny step away from the naturally sugar-high redhead. Torri pointed to her black, purple, and pink tie-dye T-shirt with yet another freakishly convenient catch phrase written in sparkly blue cursive.
"Read the T-shirt."
I know I'm crazy, but I'm just too cute to hate.
Suddenly, a swarm of Jack-bots came out of nowhere and circled them.
"How many are there, Dojo?"
"Let's see… subtract the five… carry the two… WAY TOO MANY!" He ducked into Clay's hat for sanctuary.
Mia rolled her eyes. "Perfect. Any ideas, Fearless Leader?"
A Jack-bot quartet had Omi surrounded. "Just one." Omi closed his eyes and nine dots of light appeared in a 3 by 3 square pattern on his forehead. His mind's eye envisioned a powerful tsunami rising from behind him, granting him the agility and skill of his elemental power. "Water!" His eyes snapped open and jumped up just as the robots fired their lasers, causing the beams to come in contact with the opposite robot and making them blow sky high!
Mia smirked. "Now, you're talkin' my language!"
Raimundo, not wanting to be outdone by Omi and a major flirt by nature, turned to the girls and smirked. "If you thought that was impressive, wait 'til you see this." He didn't even need to close his eyes. He just imagined himself riding on a lightning-fast air current, surrounded by blue-gray clouds, granting him speed and reflexes he could only dream of achieving on his own. "Wind!" Raimundo took out a group of Jack-bots with three rapid punches and a swift kick to the head.
"So, how'd you like that, ladies?" Raimundo asked, giving a flashy smile-double point-wink combo to the dynamic duo.
Mia just rolled her eyes and scoffed in reply. "Show-off."
Torri gave a slight giggle. "So much for that 'natural Brazilian charm' he keeps bragging about." Raimundo was left flabbergasted. How could they possibly resist that! No girl in Rio could have resisted that! Raimundo then shrugged it off by thinking, Must be a North American thing.
His ponderings were cut short by a certain someone screaming the word "Fire!" right into his ear. He turned around to give Kimiko a piece of his mind.
"What the heck did you do that--" Raimundo cut himself short as he saw a pile of burning scrap metal laying no more than two feet away from him. He blushed out of embarrassment. "Oh. Heheh. Thanks, Kim." She just rolled her eyes.
"Perhaps if you spent less time showing up, you would not have to be saved by a girl," Omi snickered.
"That's 'showing off', Omi," Raimundo corrected as Kimiko went to knock some sense into Omi- literally. Note to self: chicks don't dig show-offs… or being criticized because they're chicks. LWP: And may this be a valuable lesson to ALL boys. I know this is, undeniably, the most cliché moral on the face of the planet, but trust me; show-offs annoy the heck out of us girls!
After a short while, all that was left of the Jack-bot army were a few piles of burning scrap here and there.
"Well, we've defeated the army, now where's their 'Fearless' Leader?"
"Um… that bush seems like a good place to start," Torri suggested, pointing to a nearby bush with an unusual cluster of flaming red leaves that resembled a certain "evil boy genius's" hairstyle.
Mia smirked. "Perfect. This should be easy." Mia flattened herself against the wall of a nearby building and crept slowly towards the pathetic little runt. Unfortunately, Mia forgot to factor three very important details; One: there isn't very much foliage in the city, Two: it was a beautiful, partly cloudy day at around 12:30 in the afternoon in France, making shadows dark enough for invisibility come in short supply, and Three: a gray tank top, jeans, a denim jacket, and a bow and quiver do not good camouflage make. To make it short: Landscape – Foliage – Shadows – Proper Attire Unneeded Visibility. Needless to say, Jack Spicer could see Mia just fine. And, boy, was he scared.
"They've got us surrounded," Jack squeaked to his see-through accomplice.
"Well, don't just stand there, you imbecile," Wuya hissed. "Run! Get the Shen-Gong-Wu!"
"Right." And at that, Jack bolted for an outcropping of hills on the outskirts of town while screaming like a little girl.
"We must not let him get away! We must cut him off at the road!" Omi ordered.
"Um, I think it's head him off at the pass, Omi."
"Whatever, let's just go, already!" Mia snapped, heading farther away from town, everyone scurrying after her after an exchange of glances. As they scanned for Jack and the Vortex Shield, Mia kept muttering things to herself.
"Is she gonna be all right, kid?" Dojo asked Torri.
"Oh, sure. She just needs some time to forgive herself for making such an easy mistake." Torri whispered the last part into his ear. "She beats herself up a lot."
Mia whipped her head around as soon as this reached her ears. "Hey, I heard that!" She snapped. "And you would, too, if you were in my place! So if any of you want to say something else about my too-unbelievably-lousy-for-words performance, you can either say it to my face or shut the heck up!" She gave them all a good solid glare before turning her back to them again. After a second or two of everybody exchanging glances, Clay walked over to Mia.
"Hey, it's all right. You're just startin' out. Nobody's perfect." He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Heck, my record's got a mark or two on it."
Mia's features became a little less angry at Clay's touch. She sighed. "I know, I know. It's just that… I didn't expect myself to make a mistake like that so… easily. I mean, I'm beta female of my clan, for Pete's sake! To be second only to the alpha male and female in a group of animals that could tear you to pieces in nothing flat- if they wanted to, that is- requires prowess refined to near-perfection, and I made just about the easiest mistake possible!" She sighed and hung her head. "I feel like such an idiot."
"Well, as far as we know, Jack and Wuya don't have the Shen-Gong-Wu yet. We can still get 'em. We'll help you."
Mia's shadow of a smile returned to her face as she lifted her head to face him. "Thank you. Now, come on! I think I can hear the runty little hatchling again!"
And, lo and behold, said hatchling jumped out from behind a nearby building and waved his fist at them, shouting, "Hey! I am not a runty little hatchling!" at the top of his lungs. After a very slow surveillance of his current position, and an even slower turn towards Wuya, who slapped her head- or rather, her lack thereof- at her buffoon's unbelievable act of stupidity, Jack realized his error and gulped.
"Uh-oh."
Mia gave a very big smirk. "'Uh-oh,' is right, my little woodpecker. Now, are you going to come quietly?" She paused to load her bow. "Or are things gonna have to get physical?" Three…two… one… Jack let out a far-from-masculine scream and hightailed it faster than you can say, "Bob's your uncle."
Mia let out a pleased sigh. "Gets 'em every time. Omi, will you do the honors of leading?"
Omi nodded. "CHARGE!" And they're off! Jack and Wuya are tied for the lead with Omi and Miakoda tailing close behind and the rest of the Dragons are hot on their trail! And Jack just ran into a flower cart; sorry about those gardenias, madam! And Torri is dead last at the moment, trying to haggle with a merchant for some fancy-schmancy French cooking ingredients, but wait! What's this? It appears that Miakoda has rushed back to the rear, grabbed Torri by the arm, and pulled her away before you can say, "Vini Vidi Vichi!" Luckily, Torri's managed to grab the groceries and leave a cluster of Euros and a very angry and chubby Frenchman behind! And now Mia and Torri are tailgating the rest of the group and-- OOH! Jack Spicer pulled out the jet pack just at the edge of town and is now heading for that nearby mountain range! Well, that concludes the race for today, folks, but the Dragons still have a chance of getting the Vortex Shield if they hurry, hurry, hurry! LWP (wipes sweat of her forehead): PHEW! (Panting) I have. Absolutely. NO idea. How those horse racing announcers. Can possibly DO that. Without getting pretzel-tongues! Note to self. Next time. Let Raimundo do the narration. For the speed chases. OXYGEN! (Faints)
Mia huffed as she ran. "Great! Now the little woodpecker has wings!"
"Why do you keep calling Jack Spicer a woodpecker?" Omi asked between breaths.
"It's kinda obvious, isn't it? Black plumage, white mask with black markings around the eyes, a red crest, he looks just like a woodpecker. All that's missing is a very big bill to fit around that mouth of his."
Omi let out a loud guffaw. "Most hilarious, Miakoda!" It was too much for him. He was running blind from tears of laughter- literally. And that is not a good thing to be doing in a literal sense!
"Uh… Omi? You might want to stop running until you regain compo--" Mia was interrupted by Omi performing a vertical face-plant into the side of a mountain. "Sure. Yeah. Well, can't say I didn't warn him."
Raimundo gave a low whistle as he looked up the mountain. It was HUGE. "How are we gonna get up there?"
"Simple. We climb. Clay, can I please see your lasso?" Clay nodded his head as he did so. She found herself reminiscing at how nice his gloves felt for a split second before mentally kicking herself back into focus. She then tested the strength of the rope by giving it a few quick tugs and twists. It was a very nice rope. Clay's got good taste in weapons. Focus, girl! You have work to do! She then untied the noose and estimated the length.
"Okay, there's enough rope to tie around five people. Dojo, you can wrap yourself around Torri. I'll climb on my own." When she noticed her fellow Xiaolin Dragons giving her the "are you NUTS!" look, she added, "Oh, come on. Do you really think that I'd live all of my life next to a mountain and not learn how to climb one of these things? Come on!"
"What about that Catori Stone?" Kimiko asked. "Can't you just make a staircase out of the mountain or something?"
"Two reasons: One, the Catori Stone is very powerful, so I need to put physical and emotional energy behind whatever magic I'm doing. Using that much Earth magic, forget it; it'd take almost as much out of me as fire magic. And two, you wouldn't use the Third Arm Sash or the Lotus Twister to grab something that was three feet away from you, right? Same principle. I'd be abusing sacred and powerful magic. Besides, Jack's not going to get very far on those sorry excuses for wings. So we're climbing." And with that, Mia walked to the mountain's side, felt for good places to put her hands and feet, and started climbing… waiting until her back was turned to give a slight flinch. The truth was, she was afraid of falling. Not heights, just being in a very high place with almost to no protection from falling. She wanted to use her Catori Stone, badly, but then the others might think she was trying to show them up, and if she tried to explain that, they'd probably think she was a big scaredy-cat. She mentally slapped herself before any more smiting could be dealt.
MIA! Relax… Breathe… You have the Catori Stone hanging around your neck and- more importantly- friends who are climbing the same mountain. If you fall, they will catch you. Mia gave an internal sigh. You're right. If I fall, they will catch me. Especially Clay. I know I can trust him with my life. He can catch me; especially with those big, strong, handsome arms of his. Mia pause a moment to analyze what she was saying. O-kay…I have no idea why I keep thinking like this, but it's getting pretty old really fast. She just disregarded it and continued climbing. But, unfortunately, one rock wasn't quite as strong as she thought it was, and the moment she put her weight on it, it broke off! Mia suddenly found herself falling. For a split-second, she was thinking, Oh, man! This is it! I'm done for! I am so gonna--
"GOTCHA!" Mia opened her eyes to find that she was safe, locked in a one-armed bear hug from Clay and- from the feel of her cheeks- probably blushing like crazy. His face is so close! "You okay, Mia?" She nodded slowly.
"Yeah, I'm okay. A little startled, but okay. Thanks."
"No problem." After a brief silence, Mia said, "Um, I think I'm gonna use wind magic the rest of the way up. You know, to make sure Jack doesn't get the Vortex Shield first?"
"Right." Clay waited until Mia started using her wind magic to let go. As Mia rose up, a smile slowly crept across her face. Focus! Sorry. A few seconds after regaining mental composure, Mia flew to eye-level with a shelf of rock. There, in a custom-fit cave, was the Vortex Shield! It was a beautiful golden shield, inlayed with amethyst and sapphire around the border, and about as tall as Omi was, maybe an inch or two taller. In the middle was a large spiral formed from inlayed silver. Bingo.
"Found it!" she called down to the other Dragons, who- at the highest point, so far- were only about four feet from the shelf. After waiting a few seconds for him to get into arm's length, Mia leaned over the cliff's edge, grabbed Omi's hand and pulled him up. She followed the suit, with the additional help of each friend she pulled up. Finally, everyone was on the ledge. Until--
"Jack-bots, surround them!" Suddenly, whatever was left of the Jack-bots from the last battle formed a tight circle around the Xiaolin Dragons. "Thanks for finding the Shen-Gong-Wu for us, Xiaolin Losers, but we'll take it off your hands for now. Once again, I, Jack Spicer, Supreme Evil-Doer, have claimed a new Shen-Gong-Wu!" He then launched into the trademark maniacal laughing fit.
"Honestly, you just don't know when to shut up, do you?" Jack stuck his tongue out in response to Wuya's smart comment.
Mia started to growl. This was the straw that broke the camel's back! "THAT'S IT, YA SCRAWNY PIECE OF RANCID MEAT! NOBODY MAKES A FOOL OUT OF MIAKODA TYLER TWICE IN ONE DAY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! ESPECIALLY NOT SOME PSYCHOTIC EGOMANIAC IN A WOODPECKER SUIT!" She whipped out the Hunting Dog Arrow and smirked. "Time to pull out the heavy artillery. Hunting Dog Arrow!" The Hunting Dog Arrow burned with a strong gold that surrounded Mia. She breathed slowly as the Arrow's magic started to course through her body and transform it. She had been bonded to the Arrow for two years, but this was the first time she had unleashed its full power. Strength and power she had craved all her life were becoming hers. And it felt glorious! Once the transformation was complete, Mia's position had been replaced with a beautiful silver-gray wolf, with ashen marks along her chest in the shape of an arrow and around her neck. The wolf's jade-green eyes burned strongly with raw temper.
Jack Spicer's body went rigid and his eyes grew as big as a pair of basketballs. "Eep! Okay, now I'm a little scared."
"And darn well you should be," Mia said to herself. She lunged at the nearest Jack-bot and pinned it to the ground before ripping out the wires in its chest and jumping back before it exploded! "That's what you get for grabbing a wolf by the ears." Just as she was basking in this little moment of triumph, she suddenly reverted back to human form. Well, this stinks.
"HA! Can't even stay in wolf form for more than two seconds! Surrender now, Xiaolin Losers! You're obviously outnumbered and outmatched by the armies of Jack Spicer, Evil Boy Genius!" More maniacal laughter, Mia thought. Oh, how lucky I must be.
"Um, yeah, hate to break it to ya, genius, but about the whole 'outnumbered and outmatched' bit…" She pointed behind her, where the rest of the Xiaolin Warriors were standing on a pile of Jack-bot pieces. "Yeah. Kind of an overstatement, don't ya think? Listen, I think I speak for everyone present when I say we're getting a little impatient. So stop wasting our time; just go for it or run away."
"Grrr… Fine! Say 'good-bye' to the Vortex Shield!" He lunged at the mini-cave and its contents with a wild yell.
"Oh, no, you don't!" Mia tackled Jack with a battle cry of her own. Soon the two warriors (or, if you want to be more specific, the one warrior and the pansy in woodpecker's plumage) were wrestling on the ground, the Shield glowing a brilliant gold.
"Miakoda, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!"
Mia growled. "Speak, Woodpecker. I'm listening."
"Hang-gliding. My Mantis Flip Coin against your Hunting Dog Arrow. First one to the next mountaintop wins."
Mia nodded. "Very well. I challenge you to a Shen Yi Bu Dare. I add the Jet Bootsu and your Ring of the Nine Dragons to the wager. It'll be a two-on-two flight. First contestant to the Finish Point claims victory. I choose Torri as my partner." Torri grinned and flashed a peace sign at the boy genius wanna-be, causing him to actually have color in his face for a split-second. LWP: Aw… How CUTE! Wait a minute. Jack had color in his face? (GASP!) It's a miracle! That or it's a sign of the Apocalypse. (Pause) RUN AWAY! (Does so)
"Okay…" Wuya was automatically eliminated from the draft list due to painfully obvious reasons, so he looked to his greatly diminished battalion of Jack-bots. "I pick…" He dragged out the last word as he moved his pointing finger side to side, considering his options, it finally rested at an obscure robot in the center. "You, there. Can you hang-glide?"
"Yes, sir. I do it all the time in between reconstruction and deconstruction." The Warriors snickered. The robots were their mechanical butts kicked so often they were actually setting their clocks by it.
"Whatever. All right, Mia, I accept the dare."
And in unison, they shouted, "Let's go, Xiaolin Showdown!" Instantly, the landscape began to change. The mountains rocketed to incredible altitudes, rock formations jettisoned out of them like thorns from a rosebush, the wind began to lash and scream at everything like a crazed mountain cat, and fog rolled in to worsen visibility even more. The four contestants were given hang-gliders that were almost identical to a pair of wings (if you don't count the metal bar sticking out from underneath) and the audience was placed on a tall, flat rock off to the side.
"Focus, boy!" Wuya barked at Jack, who was currently checking out Torri's Xiaolin makeover with hearts in his eyes, along with Raimundo and Omi.
"So pretty…" the girl-crazed boys said in trance-like unison. "Too hot for words…" Except for Omi accidentally replacing the word "hot" with the word "warm". Luckily, Raimundo and Omi were saved from further embarrassment by Kimiko stepping on the foot of the former and simply tapping on the latter's fairly large head.
Luckily, Torri was too busy readying her phoenix-like wings to notice the idiocy. "Ready, Mia?"
Mia finished preparing her falcon glider and gave a smile to her partner-in-crime, brushing her wild silver-blue bang away. "Born ready." She then turned her head towards her opponents.
"Are you sure I'm holding this right?" Jack asked, trying to accustom his hands to his bat-wing glider.
"Yes, sir. I have done this thirty-seven times before. Trust me. I know what I am doing."
As soon as the two sets of enemies were done preparing, they all shouted "Gong Yi Tan Pai!" and launched off the cliff. Unfortunately, the Tin Can forgot four very important things before launching; One: his glider was just like a canary's wings, in both design and proportions, Two: his human master was the one who received both Shen-Gong-Wu, Three: He usually shut off his thrusters when he hang-glided to better enjoy the experience- and this scenario was no different- and it usually took ten minutes before they could fully reboot, and Four: he was not a bumblebee, so he didn't have the unique ability to defy the laws of aerodynamics. So, naturally, the second he launched off the cliff, he plummeted to his doom.
"NOOO!" Jack cried as he witnessed his creation- literally- go off the deep end. "I had no concern for your individuality whatsoever, but I swear, you shall be avenged!" He was so busy mourning over his creation that he just bare swerved away from a rock spire.
"Save the eulogy for later, Poindexter!" Torri shouted back at Jack.
"Yeah! Unless you actually like losing to girls!" Mia's joke sent them both into a laughing fit.
"That's it!" Jack whipped out the glop-shooter and fired like crazy at Torri and Mia. It was all the two could do to dodge the goo-balls.
"HEY! What happened to good clean fighting!" Torri shouted as she evaded the goop.
"Sorry, sweetheart, but there's no way I'm losing this Showdown!" Jack replied. "But maybe I can make it up to you! How about some ice cream afterwards!"
"Sorry!" Torri yelled. "You're really cute…" This caused Jack to blush and grin like an idiot. "But the ego thing's kind of a turn-off!" As quickly as he went, Jack's… visible idiotic happiness disappeared without a trace. This was the last straw!
"I'll show you!" He cried, shooting everything he got at Mia. One shot encased part of Mia's glider wing, causing her to drop like a stone!
"MIA!" Torri dove after her best friend, both of them plummeting faster and faster, jagged rocks waiting below them like sharks! Jack took this opportunity to speed towards the finish line.
"I can't watch!" Dojo bawled as he ducked into Clay's hat.
Finally, at the last possible moment…
"GOTCHA!" Torri grabbed Mia and they landed on a rock with a flat surface!
"Well, this is nice," Mia huffed as she saw Jack speed closer to the finish line, still trying to recover from the shock of her second plunge of near-certain doom.
"Fear not, bestest best friend of mine!" Torri squealed with her now-trademark sugar-high grin, and whipped out the Jet Bootsu. "There's still hope, yet!"
Mia smirked and took one of the Bootsu. "I like the way you think, Torri."
Meanwhile, back with Mister "I Think I'm the Smartest Guy Since Albert Einstein"…
"Ah, this is the life," Jack sighed, soaring lazily in a circle.
"WILL YOU QUIT FOOLING AROUND AND JUST GET ON WITH IT, YOU IMBECILE!" Wuya barked from the spectator's side of the Showdown.
"Relax, O Ancient One!" Jack replied. "I'm only one-quarter away from the finish line, and it's not like those chicks can just--"
"Jet Bootsu!" Before he knew it, the two girls were rocketing past him, hands linked.
"HEY! THAT'S CHEATING!" Jack yelled as he resumed his original flight pattern, shaking a fist at the two.
"Oh, ho, ho! And he's calling us the cheaters?" Mia laughed back. Her response was a big, sugar-high "WHEE!" from Torri as they crossed the finish line! The landscape was reverted to normal, with the Xiaolin Dragons of the Sun and Moon presented with their prizes while Jack just flew away from the scene as Wuya began to smite him with pre-made insults. In seconds, they were showered with handshakes, pats on the back, and a few tweaked phrases from Omi. Suddenly, Clay pulled the two girls into a bear hug. Mia gave an undignified "Eep!" at first, but slowly relaxed and began to smile as shestarted to enjoy the embrace. Okay; maybe I do like Clay a little. He's a really nice person, not to mention kinda cute. Unfortunately, not everyone was sharing her newfound joy. Torri's face had turned from creamy with freckles to a shade of red close to her hair color to periwinkle blue.
"Can't… breathe… must... have… OXYGEN!" She gasped. Clay instantly let go, blushing from embarrassment.
"Sorry, ladies. Guess I don't know my own strength, sometimes." Mia immediately felt herself blushing at the word "ladies". She gave a few weak coughs so everyone would think it was from lack of oxygen.
"It's okay." She pounded her chest lightly. "Strong ribs; get it from Miss Queen of the Bear Hugs," she added as her face turned back to normal, pointing a thumb at Torri. She just gave a sugar-high grin and a peace sign.
"Yuppers!" She made a mock-bow towards the crowd and donned a snobby British accent. "Now bow before me before I crush you with my squishiful cuteness!" Everyone laughed as they boarded Dojo, glad that Mia and Torri really would be great additions to the team.
Torri knocked on the door to her best friend's room. Mia opened it and let her sit down next to her on the floor.
"Hey."
"Hiyee! So, that was a pretty sweet showdown. Am I right or am I right?"
"Yeah, you're right."
"Sorry about taking your prize from you."
Mia raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What are you talking about? The Shen-Gong-Wu are safe and sound."
"Oh, I'm not talking 'bout that. I mean the hugs! I know how much you liked it." Torri winked with a big grin. "Come on, don't deny it."
Mia blushed and let out an exasperated sigh. "For the last time, Torri: wolves do not get crushes!" Torri pouted in mock-defeat, waiting for her friend to tell the truth. Three… two… one… Mia then shrugged, blushed even harder, and gave a somewhat guilty smile. "They fall in love."
Torri squealed. "Yes! I knew it! Clay and Miakoda sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N--" Mia clapped her hand over Torri's mouth.
"SH! Not so loud! This is a big secret, okay? If you so much as hint at this before I say you can, you will pay dearly. Capiche?" Mia released her claim.
"Capiche. So, when's the wedding?"
"Torri!"
"What?"
"I don't know him that well, yet. I just need to wait. If anyone found out now… it'd just seem kinda awkward, you know?"
Torri winked. "Gotcha. Well, it's getting kinda late. Night, Mia." Torri stood up and stretched.
"Sweet dreams, Matsi Torri." As soon as she was alone, she took out her satchel and removed the slightly yellow envelope, thankful that Torri had taught her to read when they were younger. Reading this letter made her feel closer to them, even though they were far away in the Spirit World. It also reminded her of the very important mission her parents gave her. It was second in priority only to becoming a Xiaolin Dragon.
Don't worry. I won't let anyone down. I'll find him, all right… no matter the cost…
LWP: Ooh… yet another cliffy. I wonder what that letter says… Wait a minute. No, I don't; I'm the omniscient one in this fic. I know everything! And I ain't tellin' none of ya! Why? Because I want you to guess! (Grins)
Raimundo (whining): Aw, come on, LWP. Please? What's it say?
Jack (also whining): Yeah. I'm your muse. You've gotta let me know, at least.
LWP (finishing her first pint of ice cream): Sorry, boys. I'm not telling anyone, not even my bishies! Only Squeaky has read my personal copy of the letter (which I burned in case you were getting any ideas) and I made him promise not to tell anyone or no more victims ever, so don't bother trying to use the Tongue of Saiping on him.
(Raimundo and Jack blush as they hide the Tongue of Saiping behind their backs and give nervous chuckles.)
LWP: Thought so.
Jack: Ah, I don't care. Knowing you, it's gonna be too cliché for words, just like that Raimundo theory.
LWP: Cliché! (Big scary head, flames in the background) CLICHÉ! HOW DARE YOU CRITICIZE MY WORK, YOU TASTELESS GOTH WANNA-BE! AND YOU! (POINTS TO RAIMUNDO) YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL THAT YOU'RE EVEN MENTIONED IN MY FIC! (Hits them on the head with the Extra-Large, Burning Mallet of Doom, calms down) Insult my fanfics again and I'll have two in a love triangle over Katnappé so fast it'll make your heads spin! Get it?
Raimundo, Jack (both of them cowering): Got it.
LWP: Good. Now shut up or I'll knock the stuffing out of both of ya! Anywho, (to the Crimson Chin not mine but I don't really care that much theme) it's time to answer reviews!
(To Wolfs rain 101) Wouldn't dream of it! It's my first fic to be put on public display, not to mention my first fic without giving in to my writer's block, and there's NO WAY that I'm gonna stop now! And normally I wouldn't give away the pairings, but right now Raimundo is extremely ticked off and coming at me very slowly with the Sword of the Storm and a crazed look in his eye, so I'll make an exception just this once. The answer is: No. Hate to break it to ya, readers, but Raimundo thinks she's a little too crazy and Torri thinks he's a bit of a jerk cough(which he is)cough, but they're still pretty good friends. In short: Raimundo doesn't like her that way; he's just a flirt by nature. And for those who are wondering, the same principle applies to Omi: he doesn't like her; he's just girl-crazy.
(To kittykrazy04 formerly known as katkrazy04) Hi, Kitty, and welcome to the site. It's nice to meet you. I'm glad you like my story. I'm expecting a lot more reviews from you, okay?
(To Koko) Okay, let's just get one thing straight once and for all: my character's are not, I repeat, NOT MARY-SUES! Mia is moody, she's secretive, she's got a sad life story, and she's a brunette! Torri is a naturally sugar-high redhead! Enough said! Do those sound anything like Mary-Sues to any of ya! If I were ever to create a Mary-Sue on purpose (and heaven forbid that day!), I would make her a human Barbie (not mine and, man, am I thankful for that!)! Long, straight blonde hair that never gets messy, sparkling turquoise eyes, a naturally plastic figure, every strength you could think of, absolutely no weakness, no personality whatsoever except that she'd really like pink, only one emotion (happiness, obviously), a perfect life, an interest in everything, a very preppy name, an extra-preppy element, THE WORKS! And she would be smacked down by my mighty authoress hands in my fics, just like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER KIND SHOULD BE! AND ANYONE WHO CALLS MY CHARACTERS MARY-SUES AGAIN SHALL BE COMPLETELY IGNORED AND BLOCKED SO THAT THEY CAN NEVER EVER REVIEW ME LIKE THAT AGAIN! CAPICHE! And reviews a la anonymous shall be removed permanently from the review section, never to darken my doorway again, just like Koko! (Instantly perks up) Thank you! I feel so much better now that all of that's been squared away. Now, let's continue onto some lighter notes, shall we?
(To DerryBabe) Happy Late Birthday, Dannii! Sorry about the super-lateness on the update, but to make up for it, I'm dedicating this chapter to you and making it your late birthday present! (Grins with a peace sign) Hope you like! Yes, Torri is pretty cool, as is her human counterpart. As the story says, "We know she's crazy, but she's just too cute to hate." I'm so glad that the Irish have Xiaolin Showdown again! Yay, Ireland! I'm half Irish myself, so I felt very ticked that the people who rule the Irish television networks stole your Xiaolin Showdown! I would die if they did that over here in America! I guess all of my blackmailing the Irish government paid off. (Grins) Anyways, update My Story soon, okay?
(To spicydonut185) Hi, Spicy. I'm sorry I haven't reviewed for chapters five and six, but I'm kinda going on a no PG-13+ basis here. Yes, I know it's sad, but I'm just trying to be a good little girl. (Halo appears then disappears) Anywho, I'm also sorry for publishing "Warrior of Earth" before you published, "I miss you". It's a very good poem, though. Oh, well. I guess all we can do now is look back and laugh, right?
(To Shendothepowerful) Hi, guys! I'm glad that you like my fic, and I'm SUPER glad that you're not leaving the site forever, and I'm SUPER-super glad to be your new co-authoress! YAY-NESS! (Grins like an idiot) Sorry it's been awhile on the update, though. I can't help it if I really liked co-starring in ID! (Blushes) I'm especially glad that you like my fic, Achetti. (Blushes even more) In fact, I just might take you up on your offer and let you guys cameo sometime later on! I'm sorry, but Mia is strictly Clay's 'cause I made her that way (pouts), but there is a way to fix this dilemma. (Winks) You'll see, you'll see.
(To Half vamp) Hi, Kelly! So, how'd ya like? I told you I'd have him read the disclaimer. Well, anyways, I hope that you and Raimundo get over that Dragon's Desire thingy, because Raimundo needs a girlfriend badly! (Raimundo whines, whacks him on the head with a mallet) Anywho, KUTGW, girl!
(To Halfmetal formerly known as lilwlfy) Of course, I'll continue soon. This is the first story I've written where I've gotten writer's block and overcame it. I'm determined to continue! Neither blocks nor flames nor annoying muses will keep me from delivering my work to the public! I shall not be silenced! Anywho, please review soon; I want to know what else you think.
(To Kitsunequeen) Hi, Kit! I'm so glad that hurricane season's old hat for you guys. I'll have to punish Jack for trying to take over the Southern coastline with the Sword of the Storm (bad Jackie!). Of course, Mt. St. Helens erupting right afterwards seems a little too coincidental, if you know what I mean. I'm glad it wasn't even half as bad as the 1980 eruption (so no early Apocalypse! YAY!) and that I live absolutely nowhere near the volcano (well, this me doesn't, anyways). Hmmm… I wonder if this means that my fanfic is actually happening in this world. That would be super-awesome, dude! (Pauses to realize what she's doing) Heheh. Sorry. I really should stop hanging out in the TMNT realm so much; I think that Michaelangelo's starting to rub off on me, you know?
(To Britany/Rebby/Torri Again with the nicknames!) Happy late birthday, Britany! Hope you like your birthday present! I told you to get some tissues. (Slight Scottish accent) I tried to warn ya, but did ya listen? Oh no, no, no. It's just a harmless little drama piece. (Normal) But the phrase is: "I wasn't exactly noted for a first-rate sense of direction" and the key word is "wasn't". Don't worry; these things improve over time (usually). Yes, I'm sorry I had to sic a mime on your alter ego, but, hey, at least Torri tied his tres faux (that's French for super-cheesy) self into a French knot. You go, girl! Mimes are evil! They're in cahoots with the squirrels, you know. And we all know what they're trying to do; (pause, looks out of the corners of her eyes to see in anyone's watching) they're trying to take over the world! (Singing) The Pinky, the Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain-- DAH! None of you heard that!
(To Storm Sword) Greetings, Storm-san. Sorry about calling you a girl before. (Blushes) Don't worry; I fixed it. And you weren't being too harsh, really. You put it very gently. Unlike some people we all know and… recognize. Anywho, I'm glad that someone doesn't think that my characters are complete Mary-Sue's. (Turns on a megaphone and shouts into it for all the world to hear) YOU HERE THAT! ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS AUTHORS IN THIS SECTION LIKES MY STORY! IN! YOUR! FACES! HAHA! (Turns off the megaphone) Okay, I'm done gloating. Man, I've gotta stop using Jack as a muse; he's rubbing off on me.
(To DeathRealm) Well, Rio, good readers try to visualize what they're reading, like playing a movie inside your head to go along with the book. So I believe that a good writer has to make the picture as clear as possible. Sometimes it can be helped by illustrations, but because this isn't possible on this site (and I stink at drawing people anyways blushes) I have to put a lot of the description into the text. That may take time, as a lot of you guys might already know (blushes, rubs her neck, chuckles nervously), but it's usually well worth the wait. I'm glad you think so.
(To cartoonhottie200) (Blushes) Oh, shucks, CH. I'm glad you like it. And I'm sorry that stupid hacker messed with your deviantART account. Your pictures were really great. But, as long as you've kept the originals, there's no harm done. You can always repost them. (Winks) I'm also glad Operation: SCROOGE (aka: The Night I Stopped Worrying and Told Off the Mystery Snitch) (I hope, I hope)! GIRL POWER! And to commemorate your valorous deeds of great citizenship above and beyond the call of duty, I hereby award you (and everyone else people who helped out with our Gender Discrimination scare) each with the Silver Sprig (hands out silver-cast sprigs of mistletoe). Two words: go crazy! And I'm sure you'll get that Jennelle chick the same way, too! Pesky spoil-sports beware, for if there's one force stronger than anything else (besides the Big Man Upstairs and love, of course), it's GIRL POWER! (Winks) Please update soon!
LWP: Well, that's it for this chapter, and I promise never to be this late on an update ever again! I'd like to give shout-outs to all my friends: the Kitsunequeen, DerryBabe (Happy Late Birthday!), shendothepowerful and company (especially my sweet Achetti XOXOXOXXXXXXXO), DeathRealm, half vamp, cartoonhottie200, and Britany (also a Happy Late Birthday!)! And about the Italian, I only know a handful of words; so to those who know more than a handful, please don't sue me for grammar mistakes. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and punish the people of Cartoon Network for depriving all my friends across the Atlantic of Xiaolin Showdown for a whole summer! THAT'S JUST INHUMAN! (Brandishes a flamethrower) Time to test my flamethrower on real-world objects! Bwahahaha! Bwahahahaha! BWAHAHAHAHAHA-- (Goes into a coughing fit) I'm okay. (Coughs again) I just swallowed my candy, that's all. Happy summer vacation, everyone, and R&R, please! (BTW: Sorry about the lack of music in this chapter, folks, but the next one's going to be jammed-packed with rockin' songs!)