Dokyusei
by
Nana
Chapter 14
Hearts
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Author's Notes: Waiiii!!! It's been a long time, but welcome to another chapter of Dokyusei. A note of warning, though, before we start: this chapter has a very fast pace, contains lots of angst, lots of twists and turns which may not be to everyone's liking, and yes, it will contain… KIKYOU!!!! Hehehe…but honestly, though, this is one character whom I respect a lot. Give her a chance. I've had difficulty trying to make out the complexities of her character, thus the delay in the posting of this fic. I have decided to add her character in little by little, so this chapter will only give us a peek into Kitahara Kikyou just like in the manga. Certain scenes are taken from book 6 and 8 of the manga.
I am looking forward to your reviews and criticism, but please be constructive. I will appreciate it if you point out the stuff you don't like (but please don't tell me to remove Kikyou in the story, okay?)^^ I hope you will enjoy this fic!
Dedication: for Ainokaachan, who referred me to Kylara's excellent essay "A Touch More of Insight", delving into the many merits of Kikyou. She has not yet come out fully in this chapter, but she will.
Disclaimer: No matter how many times I wish it, Inu Yasha just does not belong to me! Sigh….
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"The heart of any other, because it has a will, would remain forever mysterious."
--David Gutterson
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Sango stared at Kagome as she finished narrating what happened last night.
They were standing in the botanical garden of the school during recess the next day, the sky still a heavy slate gray and promising more rain soon.
"You mean, here? In this exact spot?" Sango still appeared as though she could not believe the sudden turn of events.
Neither could Kagome, if truth be known. She merely nodded.
"And then what?" Sango pressed on.
"Well, we…we just stared at each other." Kagome knew that came out as a really weird thing to say, but that was how it happened.
Sango's eyes widened. "So basically, you're now friends," she said slowly.
Kagome could not find anything to say to that.
How could a few hours tilt her tidy world into such chaos? How could a single boy do it? But then, this was Inu Yasha. And he had been doing this since the first day she had stepped into this school.
"Well, I suppose he was really sweet. It's not really his fault that psycho Sesshou Maru would think to use you to egg him on, but whatever will happen to our revenge thing?" Sango asked, sounding a bit disappointed. "I mean it hasn't even kicked off yet!"
More importantly, what was going to happen to Houjo-kun?
Kagome sighed.
"He's different to you now, isn't he?" Sango asked gently.
"I don't know…it just isn't very clear anymore," Kagome said.
"Well, I've always thought that in his own weird, nasty way, he's kind of sweet on you," admitted Sango. "But Inu Yasha is…well, he's just too unpredictable. You'll watch out, won't you?"
"Sango-chan!" said Kagome, beginning to smile at her friend's cryptic remark. "You sound like we're more than friends or something! Yeah, sure. Of course I'll watch out."
A gentle drizzle was starting and they headed back to the school building.
"Well, what about you?" She asked Sango. "What's been happening with Fukuzawa-senpai?"
"Hmph. I wouldn't know and I wouldn't care. The less I get to see him, the better," Sango said curtly. "Right now, I'm kind of enjoying the fact we won't be having track practice when it gets to rain hard--that way, any chances of bumping into him will be greatly minimized."
Sango was careful to keep her voice neutrally derisive.
She could not understand this weird, infuriating feeling inside her. A few days had already elapsed after the slapping incident and yet how could she still feel this thread of delicious panic course through her at the mere mention of Fukuzawa Miroku's name?
The thought made her uncomfortable and she resorted to a safer topic.
"Well, enough about him," she said bracingly. "Do you know what Takagi-senpai did at the track last Friday…?"
Kagome said nothing as she listened to Sango talk about Takagi.
Of course, no matter how many times she was going to call it to Sango's attention, she guessed Sango would not take kindly to her opinion that Fukuzawa-senpai could easily outdo Takagi-senpai in anything--especially charm.
*********************
Inu Yasha was unusually late for classes that day.
The bell had signaled so many times to herald the end of each period. Kagome was starting to think he was not going to show up at all when, a few minutes after ten am, in the middle of Mrs. Kaede's class (as usual), the door slid back unceremoniously and the familiar short, tense silence from her classmates meant somebody was making his grand entrance yet again.
Kagome did not look up from her textbook, but her heart went still for a second before it began to beat double time.
"A bit too early for your next class, aren't you, Inu Yasha?" asked Mrs. Kaede in a resigned voice.
Kagome continued to look at her textbook, dread suddenly washing over her.
He was going to be different.
All of a sudden she was sure of it.
The thing that happened last night was too frail and fantastic to withstand the harsh light of everyday reality.
Now, in the gray light of this small, drab classroom, Kagome suddenly had a sinking feeling that Inu Yasha was not going to be the same…he was going to be the jerk that he usually was, and he's going to open that big trap of his to ruin everything by saying--
"Oy."
She jumped, and found Inu Yasha already seated on the chair beside her.
"What're you doing, gripping your book like that?" he asked.
And indeed, Kagome was gripping her thin textbook so hard the edges were starting to crumple from the pressure. She hurriedly let go.
He stared at her for a moment before looking away gruffly.
"And what're you looking at?" he threw instead at Sango, who had been staring.
Kagome looked up just in time to see Sango burying her nose back in her book.
There was wariness and uncertainty in the amber depths of his eyes, but his gaze held a hint of tenderness, and remained open and unshuttered. Incredibly enough, it was the same look he had given her last night.
Kagome smiled softly.
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"How's the, uhh…bruise?" Kagome asked hesitantly as they made their way to the lab for their science experiment.
Inu Yasha touched the band aid covering his cheek. "Fine," he said. "It doesn't hurt that much anymore."
A short, uncomfortable--almost shy--silence followed.
"A--no…" They said almost simultaneously.
"So…so now you're going to have to practice Kendo three times a week," observed Kagome when he waved for her to speak first.
"Plus Saturdays," he added.
"Oh."
"So…" he trailed off, looking distinctly uncomfortable.
Man, he was really no good at this!
"Hai?"
I want you by my side…
Kagome blinked. "Nani?"
"Nothing," he said, looking away and shaking his head roughly. Jeez! Were his thoughts starting to show?
"You said something--" Kagome began
"Just…just be careful, alright?" Inu Yasha said gruffly. "I mean, now that things have happened the way they did…and you know what Sesshou Maru is like--"
Inu Yasha could not seem to be able to find his words, but Kagome understood all the same.
"I will."
They entered the Science Lab, and Kagome felt a surge of disbelief at the sight of mundane tiles and chrome. Any trace of the violent struggle that occurred in the room yesterday was gone. It was incredible for it to have happened at all, and in such ordinary surroundings, Kagome thought. It seemed like a lifetime ago…
Kagome felt as though a bubble--delicate, transparent, but a barrier, nevertheless--had gradually wrapped around her and Inu Yasha, leaving the world outside to carry on around them as always, but muted in its intensity…as though it were unreal.
In a way, it frightened her. She could not help but feel the transient nature of the situation acutely, because it seemed impossible that everything could feel so…right. How long was it going to take before the bubble burst?
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The bubble lasted exactly two days.
What was it about the school corridors of Sengoku High School? They were not just regular corridors. There was no telling who one could run into at a turn of these passageways; there was no telling where they could lead to, and there was no stopping the memories that could awaken at the sight of a single face.
And rounding the corner of the Science Lab that day with Kagome, Inu Yasha thought he had come face to face with a ghost.
Only, she was definitely real.
She was standing in front of the giant bulletin board near the stairs, looking the same way as Inu Yasha remembered seeing her last. But he knew nothing was ever going to be the same between them. Not since that day over a month ago when they had fought.
Kagome looked up enquiringly as Inu Yasha faltered in the middle of what he was saying, the words seeming to trickle away before his voice died altogether. Her heart suddenly went still as she realized who the girl in front of them was.
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Kitahara Kikyou studied the contents of the board for a minute before turning away from it. And when her eyes landed on Inu Yasha, she seemed just as surprised to see him standing a few paces away.
"Kikyou…" The name escaped Inu Yasha's lips before he could stop himself.
"Inu…Yasha?" Kikyou said almost wonderingly.
Kagome could feel the hairs of her nape stand on end. All of a sudden, Kagome felt oddly out of place in this unexpectedly intimate ground between Inu Yasha and the girl before them, as though she were eavesdropping on something very private.
Kagome had seen Kitahara kikyou before. Of course she had. She had bumped into her in the women's room last week, and she had been struck by the similarity of their physical features. But there the similarities ended.
To look at her, one could see that Kitahara Kikyou was instantly different from the regular freshman girls, including Kagome. She was of a class all to her own. She didn't have to lift so much as a finger or open her mouth to prove it. Her indefinable air of calm authority and serene beauty--almost cold in its intensity-- was clearly evident in her stance alone.
And taking in this peerless, grave creature, Kagome suddenly realized with a little bit of bitterness that not all girls were created equal. Certainly not in the eyes of Inu Yasha.
He stood there rooted, as though he could not find his voice, and the fragile moment shattered as Kitahara collected herself. Much to Kagome's surprise, a shuttered look of intense dislike crept into her cool gray eyes, and Kagome could see her about to pull away when somebody interrupted the scene.
"Kikyou."
The masculine voice sounded as a figure with long dark hair came up the stairs. "Sorry to have kept you waiting," the person said, advancing toward Kitahara.
Kagome's jaw dropped as she realized who it was.
It was no other than Mizuno Naraku himself.
Inu Yasha himself was finding this all difficult to take in at once. Kagome could feel him tense beside her, but he made no move.
What did the president of the Central Student Council want with Kitahara Kikyou? wondered Kagome, curiosity getting the better of her.
Kikyou turned to the newcomer, and without another word, accompanied him back down the stairs. She must have said something to him, for Mizuno slanted Inu Yasha and Kagome a look over his shoulder before laying an arm protectively over Kikyou.
Whaaa---?!
Kagome and Inu Yasha stared after them, at the arm draped so casually and meaningfully over Kikyou's shoulder.
And then they were going down, going down, were gone from their view.
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"M-mizuno and Kitahara?!" Sango exclaimed. "Are you sure?!"
They were having lunch in the classroom today, and Sango hurriedly lowered her voice as a couple of their classmates turned to their direction.
"He laid an arm across her shoulder, Sango-chan. You just can't mistake that gesture for anything," said Kagome.
"Mizuno and Kitahara," Sango said again as she shook her head. "It's just so way off."
"Yeah, I know," said Kagome quietly.
"And what did Inu Yasha say?"
"That's the problem. He didn't say anything," said Kagome sadly. "I think he was really shocked."
"You know, come to think of it, nobody really knew how his relationship with Kitahara ended. Do you suppose--"
But Sango stopped midway at the sight of Kagome's face and decided to let the matter drop.
"Where is he, by the way?" she asked instead.
But Inu Yasha was nowhere to be found. After that incident, he was so unusually quiet and he wouldn't even look at Kagome in the face. And now, he had gone off on his own for lunch.
Kagome sighed. Maybe it was for the best.
Although, where could Inu Yasha have gone? She wondered uneasily.
It was already after lunch when Kagome caught a glimpse of Inu Yasha. They had been to the women's room, and because she had finished ahead of Sango, she had opted to wait for her in the hallway.
Outside the window, the rain had stopped for a while. The view outside was that of the botanical garden, and Kagome was idly watching the trees sway to the small gusts of wind when she noticed a figure with long, white hair walking underneath them.
…!
Inu Yasha???
The rain had formed a speckled pattern on the window glass, and for one brief moment, Kagome hesitated, not sure if the person she had seen were indeed Inu Yasha, or the only other person in the school with long white hair whom she would rather not see for a while. But the figure's swift, determined stride seemed to confirm who he was.
So that's where he's been to, that silly dolt! She thought. Had he been out in the rain all this time?
She went out of the building, following the figure's direction to the botanical garden.
Kagome had not thought Inu Yasha might have companions. She had assumed he had gone off on his own to nurse whatever hurt the corridor scene with Kikyou had inflicted.
It was only when she got there that she realized too late that Inu Yasha was not alone. Based on the raised voices she was hearing, it seemed she had arrived in the middle of a terrible quarrel.
Kagome froze as she heard a shrill female voice--so uncharacteristic of its owner--say: "--what it's like for me to trust somebody, so how could you possibly think to betray me like that?"
And Inu Yasha's incredulous voice cut in harshly, "What?! You're saying I betrayed YOU?!"
"Don't you dare deny it!"
Suddenly, they moved into view; Inu Yasha, with his back toward Kagome, and Kikyou on the far side, her face pale with rage, her dark hair whipping in the wind.
"All this time you wouldn't want to see me, you've been thinking I betrayed you?!" Inu Yasha said, and Kagome saw him advance toward Kikyou. "I don't know who's been feeding you such rubbish, but all this time, there hasn't been a single day when I've forgotten about you!"
Kagome watched, frozen, as he grabbed Kikyou, holding her tight even as she struggled in his arms.
And then there was a sharp, cracking sound, and suddenly, they were apart.
Inu Yasha was breathing heavily as he raised a hand to his cheek.
"Don't you touch me," spat Kikyou.
A sudden movement caught her eye, and she stopped dead when she saw Kagome. Noting Kikyou's hesitation, Inu Yasha turned to the direction of her gaze.
"Kagome…"
Kagome would have given anything to run away, to be anywhere else except here. She would have given anything not to see Inu Yasha take Kikyou in his arms. But she couldn't will herself to turn away.
But even as they stood frozen like the figures of a tableau, with the gentle drizzle starting to fall, Kikyou turned quickly on her heels and ran back toward the building.
"Kagome…" Inu Yasha said, starting toward her.
But Kagome had come to her senses at last. Her nerve broke, and she turned to the direction she had come from and fled.
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"Houjo-kun, perhaps this isn't really a good time to...you know," Sango said a bit apologetically as she realized why Houjo-kun was looking for Kagome.
Houjo-kun fixed Sango with an innocently bewildered stare.
"Mikagi-kun, I was just asking if you've seen Higurashi," he said with a hint of a laugh in his voice.
"Well, she went with me to the women's room a while ago, but I don't know--"
Before she could say anything more, though, Kagome came into the room, droplets of rain shining on her dark hair. Sango stared at her dazed expression, alarmed.
"Ah, Higurashi!" remarked Houjo-kun pleasantly as he moved toward Kagome. Sango could not tell if he noticed there was anything wrong. From the way he was acting, it seemed he was oblivious.
"Err, Houjo-kun…" Sango said with a note of warning.
Appearing as if he had not heard her, Houjo-kun went right ahead with what he had to say. And if he had been evasive with Sango, he was not being so with Kagome now.
"You look kind of worn out, Higurashi," he observed.
"Am I?" Kagome said dully.
"And I'm not surprised, really, given all these upcoming exams and drills," he said with easy charm. "Well, after Friday's big English exam, I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me. You know, just to unwind a bit."
Kagome was about to open her mouth, and Sango had a good idea what she was about to say, when the door slid open and Inu Yasha came in, his white hair matted from the rain.
He stopped abruptly at the sight of Houjo-kun and Kagome, his eyes going wide.
Kagome deliberately turned back to a waiting Houjo-kun and said definitely, "Hai. I'd love to go out with you."
"Really?" For a moment, Houjo could not believe he heard right. "Well, that's great. Well, okay, great! Umm, let's meet at the café, then."
With that, he moved off, and Kagome took her seat, refusing to look at Inu Yasha again.
And for once, Inu Yasha did not press in. After all, Kagome had seen what she had seen. There was nothing else to be said about it.
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The rain continued to fall, lending the gray atmosphere of the classroom a chilly, unhappy look. But even as the skies wept, Kagome was surprised to find that she could not. She still had full use of language, and as the dull shock began to clear, she found herself telling Sango all about it.
"Well, at least now, I know exactly where we stand," said Kagome as Sango silently took in her words. "You were right about him, Sango. Was that what you had in mind when you told me to be careful?"
Sango shook her head. "I just thought he was unpredictable; I never thought he'd still be in with Kitahara."
A short silence ensued.
"That bastard," said Sango at last. She turned to Kagome. "How can you take it so calmly? I mean, what does this mean? I can't believe that incident Monday night was just nothing."
"No, it may not be nothing," said Kagome reflectively. "It's just…maybe it's really something…only it's not enough, if you're going to compare it with other things--and people, you know?"
"That is just crap," said Sango flatly. "But I envy you. At least you're strong enough and you know better than to get affected by all this. That's a good way to deal with it."
"Yeah, I am, aren't I?" said Kagome sadly.
Sango was not sure if Kagome's frightening sense of calm was just from shock, or the real thing.
But what can we do? She thought. It was fairly obvious Inu Yasha had not forgotten Kikyou. You could never tell what went on inside the heart of another. And while it is true it was not anybody's fault, the fact remained that Kagome had gotten hurt by a ghost that still lingered in Inu Yasha's heart.
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Friday came by with unusual good weather, and so did the exam. Kagome could not do anything but pour herself into it. It gave her another thing to think about, and Kagome was glad of a diversion. How many people in this world, she wondered, would take academics as a way out of their personal woes?
After the exam, though, she began to feel the weight of the incident dragging her spirits down.
No matter how much she tried to inject logic into the whole thing--that she had no right to feel this way because Inu Yasha had never really treated her as anything other than a friend--the fact remained that she had never felt more miserable in her life.
In a way, she felt sorry for Inu Yasha. She had wanted to go over and say--what was she going to say? She wasn't very sure. In other ways, all she ever wanted was to put her foot through his face.
What was the matter with her?
But there was no way other people should notice her current state of confusion. So she confided only in Sango.
"I really envy you," said Kagome that afternoon during recess.
Sango nearly laughed. "Why?" she asked ruefully.
"Because you really don't seem to care if you're ever going to see him or not anymore," said Kagome.
"Who?" Sango said even as her voice grew clipped.
"Oh, you know who."
Sango did not bother to pretend she didn't know who Kagome was talking about.
"Well, that's right. Yeah. I really don't," said Sango with growing conviction in her voice. "But then, our situation is totally different, Kagome. At least you like Inu Yasha. I, on the other hand--"
She shrugged her shoulders eloquently.
"Well…" said Kagome unhappily, not knowing what to say to that. She changed the subject. "But don't you feel curious about Fukuzawa-senpai, at least? I mean, a whole week's gone by and there's been no sign of him. Don't you ever find yourself thinking what he could be doing these past few days?"
"No," said Sango quickly, attempting to sound casual but still unable to take out the tone of resentment from her voice. "I can't possibly care what he's been up to."
"Oh. Good for you."
"Cheer up, Kagome-chan," said Sango, turning to look at her. "You can always give Inu Yasha hell with Kitahara. You're going out with Houjo-kun, and that's a start. Don't let him get to you."
Kagome sighed. "I suppose you're right. So now where are we going?"
"Do you mind if we drop by Takagi-senpai's classroom? I need to ask him if we're going to have practice tomorrow, rain or shine," said Sango. "We haven't had a decent practice session the whole week."
"What if it rains tomorrow?"
"Then I'll have to make arrangements with the basketball team to lend us their court. At least it has a roof."
"Okay."
Sango was careful only to look directly ahead of her as they made their way to the sophomores' floor.
Takagi didn't mind at all if she were to make arrangements for them to practice with the basketball team.
"We've lost so many days already. We better pray this good weather's going to last the whole day, and then we'll make up for some lost hours tomorrow."
"Hai."
"Thanks for arranging it for me, Mikagi."
He turned as if to go back to the classroom, but Takagi paused and looked down at Sango as she appeared not to hear him. For once, she was looking past him, scanning the room behind Takagi with a quick and nervous glance.
"Uhh…Sango?" he said uncertainly. "Is everything okay?"
"Nani? Oh, gomen!" Sango tore her eyes away from the classroom, her face going red. "Umm, yeah. I'm okay. So I'll arrange it with the basketball team then. Ja ne."
Sango turned away and went hurriedly to join Kagome, leaving Takagi by the doorway of his classroom to wonder.
She could see Kagome smiling slightly at the sight of her red face, but for once, Kagome had misinterpreted the blush.
What exactly are you doing, staring into Takagi's classroom anyway? Sango thought furiously.
She was being a perfect idiot was what she was doing.
Anyway, it was a relief HE was not there, but she was taking no chances until they got to their floor safely.
But there was nothing safe about their floor just then. The bad thing about being a freshman was this: you've got no space to call your own. Sophomores and seniors could easily get down to your floor as freely as they wanted and the privilege was not vice versa.
And there he was, feeling right at home on the freshmen's floor.
Sango checked abruptly at the sight of him. Luckily, he had his back to them, but there was no mistaking the tiny ponytail tied behind his dark head.
Fukuzawa Miroku stood at the far end of the corridor near the stairs. And as usual, he was not alone. A flock of freshman girls was there, and he was holding the hands of one of them.
What could he have been doing these last few days?
Why, picking up girls to ask out, of course!
Sango watched as if mesmerized, unable to tear her eyes off Fukuzawa as he continued to hold Kobayashi Koharu's hands in his. Even at this distance, she had a good inkling what he was saying to the girl to make her blush so.
And what was the meaning of all this?
It was obvious what it all meant.
The whole episode in the garden had meant nothing to a sukebe like him.
At the sight of Koharu's beaming face, Sango turned abruptly and stalked away. The rosy color was fading quickly from her cheeks.
Kagome hurried after her, noting her friend's sudden change with some alarm.
"Sango-chan…"
Sango held up a hand. "I'm okay," she reassured Kagome.
Huh?
Sango took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "I guess I needed to see that, didn't I?" she said softly, allowing a small, bitter smile to cross her lips.
"Nani?" Kagome asked.
"I mean, I was so stupid…! To think that I felt guilty…!" Sango ground out.
With great effort, she collected herself. "Well, that certainly cleared up a lot of things," she said in an oddly formal voice. " There. I feel so much better already."
She went ahead inside their classroom, leaving a confused Kagome to linger outside.
What could Sango possibly mean by all that? Didn't she say she was just going up to talk to Takagi-senpai, as usual? Wasn't that the only reason why she ever went up?
Unless…unless that was not the only reason…
Not anymore.
Could it be…could it be that Sango had gone up with the hope of bumping into somebody else?
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