Disclaimer - I still don't own a thing.

During this section the POV's will be changing, so pay close attention to the headings.

xxxxx

Chapter 4 - Bond, Part I

ooooo Ron

Gods, Harry is in so much pain. I know it and I feel helpless to do something about it. I try talking to him. Reaching out. Break thought the vision he's having. I can tell he's still not in its full grip. He's struggling against it.

Using the bond like I did when he was fading, I try to reach to his mind. To provide a lifeline and pull him back. Instead of the resignation and emptiness I felt before, there is now roiling chaos. Pain and determination.

He's not giving up this time. I convinced him to come back from the edge once. Helping him back this time should be no different.

It's like flying in a storm trying to find something.

I can almost reach him and I feel his hesitation. I push his reluctance away and hold on to him. I see him grab Hermione's hand and the glow around him is getting stronger at the same time his mind seems to pull back from wherever he is. From where he's being taken to.

I hold on to his hand as tightly as I do to the bond. Hermione and I close the circle and I feel a surge of images and sounds.

ooooo Harry

Raging anger. Pain. Cruelty. Torture. Lashing out. He knows. He knows I escaped.

My head feels like it will split open. Right along my scar. I can feel his magic. Dark and twisted expression of something that should have been so wonderful.

He's in a rage, but the torture he's inflicting seems deliberate and contrived. He knows this will hurt me too. He knows his anger is the gateway into the connection. Into my mind. He can use that destructive wave of power to push into my mind. To take me over. It doesn't matter that we're kilometers away. He's trying to tear his way inside my mind.

Possessing me.

I can't let it happen. I'm right beside Ron and Hermione. I can't let them see and hear Voldemort in me. I won't let him terrorize or hurt them.

I can't. I can't. I won't. Time seems stretched as I try to wrest the control from him.

I won't let him take over. Don't even consider giving in. Stop him or die trying. He'd take over and hurt my friends. Voldemort loose in Hogwarts. No. NO.

The wave keeps rising. Not letting up. I can see images of his mind. I see myself being taken to a standing stone circle. Being sacrificed as he revels in his power. Dead at his bloodied hands. That is what he planned. And being deprived of that, he will settle for making me his puppet.

Making me kill my friends.

NO.

I try to imagine a shield around my mind. Something to protect myself. To protect the ones I care about. I can feel my own magic surrounding me. I try to find a way to sever the bond. Cut him off. Cut the connection. I can't find a way. We're too connected. It's like fighting a Devil's Snare. The more I fight, the more I'm trapped.

It's too much. I can't breathe. I can't see. I can't feel. I'm drowning. I'm drowning in darkness and pain. In evil. I need help. Somebody please help. I can't stop him on my own.

I can feel a whisper or a brush of a familiar mind reaching out. Ron. Ron is calling to me and he will be dragged in too. I have to do something protect him. I won't let this evil touch my friend. Ron's call is stronger. I can feel his touch. He won't back down. His identity is like a lifeline to my self. Ron's friend. That is who I am. Ron's best friend.

I reach out and I can feel Hermione's hand in my own. Holding on to me. Hermione. Hermione and Ron holding on to me. Not letting me go. I can feel them. They are pulling me back from the horrible darkness. From the pain. Not letting me drown in it.

Ron and Hermione. My friends. My family. Blood be damned. These two are my familiy.

YOU WON'T HURT MY FAMILY. I scream to the darkness.

My family. I can see them now. Not with my eyes. With my mind. With my heart. Beside me. I can see their laugher. Hear their smiles. Touch their hearts.

I can see Ron surrounded by a steady blue light. Constant and true. Cool and deep as a lake. An ocean. Seemingly simple at the horizon with an immense depth and power to what he feels.

I can see Hermione enveloped and a dancing violet shade. Like dancing flames. Never steady. Never repeating a pattern. A constant rush of thoughts and emotions. Fast as lightning. More powerful than thunder.

I see myself. Coruscating light. Like the facets of a shattered crystal refracting and reflecting the colors around me. Even if I don't always shine on my own, I always will from those around me it seems. There is darkness there, but also light.

I can see the ties between us, and the ones to others, like a thousand colored strings made of light

The ties are steadily pulling me back from the darkness. But the darkness fights back. Tendrils reaching out and wrapping around me like the coils of a snake. From it comes something subtler this time. Seducing.

You could be so powerful. Taunting voice.

I don't need power. I have THIS. Encompassing in that word all that surrounds me.

Love. Love is worthless. Spiteful.

I almost feel pity for him. He doesn't know what this is like. How overwhelming it is to give away a part of yourself and being trusted with a sliver of someone else. It's the most precious gift there is.

Maybe I could give him a taste. I stop fighting the connection and instead concentrate on my own feelings. Not fighting against him. Let him in. Let him feel.

I let my heart fill with everything I care about. Ron. Hermione. Ginny. Hogwarts. The Burrow. Sirius. Remus. Tonks. Every smile. Gryffindor Tower. Every shared moment. Molly. Arthur. George. Fred. Laughter and tears. Love. All of this mixed into a wonderful kaleidoscope that somehow feels as exhilarating as phoenix song. As dizzying as a wild broom ride.

The darkness recedes against the wave of color, sound and light. He is gone and there is only the three of us left. I reach out and feel their touch back. My brother and my sister.

I feel the light fade until it's more or less the usual intensity and I can see properly again. Time goes back to its steady rhythm. I feel like I fought for an eternity, yet it must have been over in a few seconds.

The hospital wing. Kneeling on the floor, holding hands with Hermione and Ron.

I can feel a warm tingling all over. Everything around me feels more intense. More here than ever before.

In typical Hermione fashion, with her eyes full of tears, she pulls on our hands tugging us closer and throws her arms around us. Ron and I hesitate just a moment before giving in to the three-way hug.

I'm really home this time.

ooooo Hermione

He hasn't lost the dazed look. His smile is real, but his eyes seem a bit unfocused. Dumbledore watches him and asks him how he feels.

"Never better." Odd answer for what just happened. He continues talking. "It was supposed to happen today. My blood on the sacrificial stones. The night of the winter solstice. He was in a rage."

I shudder. He escaped barely in time. Voldemort had something very specific planned for him. Some sort of ritual or sacrifice. Just like Ron predicted.

"Harry, I wonder if you would do some magic for me?"

"Anything sir."

"Albus..." Madam Pomfrey tries to interrupt. She' still a bit shaken from what happened earlier, but habit makes her object to stressing a patient. I would agree, except Harry doesn't look tired. He looks exhilarated. Happy. Calm. Slightly off.

Dumbledore takes a look at the books I had been going over with Harry and asks for a bit of conjuring. A flower he says.

I'm appalled. Conjuring something organic is harder. We've been working on it for weeks and Harry has not succeeded as far as I know.

Reaching for his wand, Harry whispers the proper incantation and a flower in fact appears. It is perfect. Fresh as if it was just picked from Sprout's greenhouses. A white rose.

The headmaster reaches for it an examines it.

"Very good work. Minerva will be proud. Ten points to Gryffindor." He places the flower on a glass of water on the bedside table. Harry reaches out a finger and touches the flower, the white petals shimmer and change colors, the perfume can be felt in the air. I'm doubly impressed. A Blushing Rose. Harry conjured up a magical plant.

"My favorites." He murmurs.

"As they were your mother's, Harry. There were always some in your house when she was alive."

Harry keeps smiling at the rose as if he has not heard the headmaster's words. Somehow, he must remember them from what little time he actually spent with his parents. They remind him of home.

ooooo Ron

"What is wrong with him?"

"Nothing is wrong Mr. Weasley. Something is right for the first time and he's a bit overwhelmed by it."

I don't understand how he can be so calm about it. Harry looks like he were drunk. Pissed out on Firewhiskey.

"Do you understand about the connection Harry has with Voldemort?"

"Of course. Harry has been looking into his mind for ages." I say exasperatedly.

"The connection is beyond that. Harry is connected to Tom Riddle at several levels. It is very possible Voldemort survived all those years because of it. Since Voldemort is older and more experienced, it tends to flow against Harry. Overriding his own emotions and more importantly his own magic. Harry was cursed by him when he was a little over a year, for the last fifteen he's been living under the shadow of it. Until today."

I feel myself blink in surprise. I never thought of Harry as being cursed. Unlucky at most...

"James and Lily were both very talented and powerful. It's a bit surprising that Harry has not shown such remarkable abilities unless he's in stressful conditions. As Voldemort regains more of his power, the more is Harry drained."

Hermione beside me is shocked by the revelation, but it makes a horrible kind of sense. Old Moldie didn't die because he somehow latched himself to Harry and now he's getting stronger feeding on Harry. He used Harry's blood to come back. From what Harry saw in his mind, some sort of ritual was planned where he would be sacrificed. How medieval can you get? Honestly, it's wizards like him that give witchcraft and magic a bad name.

"As if Riddle were some sort of vampire?"

"More of a parasite. It's telling that Harry can feel Tom's emotions, see through his eyes. Harry is being pulled towards Tom, not the other way around."

"But now..." Hermione says as if it pained her.

"Tom flew into murderous rage when he realized he had again underestimated Harry. He probably knows how much it would hurt Harry to lose control like that. However, Harry realized he had in fact escaped from his grasp and was with the two people he cares for the most. Who care for him. I believe he wasn't going to let Tom take that away from him. Joy strong enough to reverse the connection. To make Tom feel what he was feeling instead."

"I hope he gave him a great headache." I say with bitterness.

"Maybe a bit more than that." Says the headmaster with a twinkle in his eyes.

"So Harry broke the connection?" Hermione asks. I hold my breath...

There's a resigned air to Dumbledore. "No. It is still there and most probably it will reverse itself. For now, Tom is the strongest of the two. But Harry knows it can be reversed. Right now he feels clean and unburdened. Free. Like he was supposed to feel since he was born. I have faith he will able to do it again."

ooooo Harry

I hear Dumbledore trying to explain what is going on to Hermione and Ron. I don't like it when people talk about me like I wasn't here, but I'm thankful nobody's pressing me for an explanation. I can feel their confusion mixed with horror as they realize just how connected I am to Voldemort. Bonded to him in a way.

I guess I always knew. I also know I have a ridiculous smile pasted on my face but I can help it. I feel so... I feel.

There is no other way to describe it. I feel.

It's similar to how I see with or without my glasses. I don't fall on my face without them, but with them, everything is sharper, defined. It's like turning on the light in a dark room, removing mufflers from my ears, breathing fresh air after being in a stuffy room. All at the same time and more.

This is what I felt that moment when I blocked his marking me. Somehow I managed to do it. I was thinking of all the people I care about and that helped me. Just like holding on to Ron and Hermione, closing the circle, I was with them. For a fleeting moment I was them.

I know it won't last, maybe the memory will be enough.

Without anyone noticing I get up from the bed again and grab the dressing gown. I start to walk out of the ward when Madam Pomfrey stops me. I apologize for having pushed her away earlier and I try to explain that all I want is to go outside for a moment.

Not surprisingly, she doesn't want me to.

Dumbledore is now at my side and waves the nurse off. His hand reaches for my elbow and guides me down the corridor and to the closest doorway. I think this is where Ron flew us through.

We step outside and the light on the snow dazzles me. The cold breeze on my face feels wonderful. I can see the sun for the first time in what feels an eternity. I can hear laughter from students already playing in the snow. I can feel everything.

"I wish it were spring already."

"You want to see living things?"

"Yes." I can't explain why. But I feel the need to experience everything I can while this feeling lasts. The more I do, the longer it will last. I feel it. I can sense Dumbledore's gaze as he thinks about my request.

"Close your eyes Harry. This will feel very odd."

I obey. A dizzying moment later we're standing inside greenhouse five. Where Professor Sprout keeps her prized roses during the winter.

"You can aparate inside Hogwarts? Hermione keeps telling us it can't be done."

"Headmaster's privilege. It's also a secret, but I think you can be trusted with it."

I smile at him and I'm soon distracted by all the living plants around us. I can feel their life force. The magic in everything that is alive. I'm probably imagining things, but I almost feel the plants reacting to me.

ooooo Harry

"I know you were also listening when I explained to Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger."

"I was." I admit.

"Did I make the correct assumptions?"

I look at the headmaster in surprise. Dumbledore just asked me for an explanation. I thought he always gave them.

"Yes, Harry. I'm asking you to explain it."

"I don't know. But your explanation seems to fit in part with what I could see in him. He believes that if I die, he will gain whatever power I have. I suppose that means that if he dies, I get his." I swallow a knot of fear from my throat. I won't think like this.

"A Death bond."

I'm fairly sure Dumbledore chose that particular wording with a purpose. He must suspect what happened. That I somehow bonded Hermione and Ron to myself. I am truly no better than Voldemort. Except he preys on his enemies and I prey on my friends.

"They chose to join you Harry."

I look at the mark in my wrist. A shinning triangle. The Gryffindor three. Ginny will be upset at being left out again. I suspect that Ron and Hermione might have an additional mark, but I can't be sure. To me they are my brother and sister. I felt them agree. However, I'm quite sure they don't feel anything remotely related to being brother and sister to each other. Just like what I feel for Ginny is not brotherly at all.

I touch the mark. I know this one is more powerful yet more vulnerable than what I shared with Ron. We will know a lot through it, yet it will break on it's own if we stop trusting each other. If we betray the bond.

If only it were that easy to break the bond to him. The scar in my forehead. Similar marks with so different results.

"Why didn't you kill me sir? You must have known that my being alive allowed him to survive all those years without his body. It would have stopped so many deaths. So much pain could have been avoided."

"Who was I to take away life, Harry? I cannot give life, I could not take it away. Even if I had been sure. If I had known how he would use you, I would not have been able to do it. It was bad enough knowing you would be hurt by my decision to leave you with your relatives. But to irretrievably destroy a possibility like you? Security can't be bought by the blood of an innocent."

I'm not so sure anymore.

"Would you be able to make such a decision? If the safety of all us depended upon the sacrifice of an innocent. Something that could never be set to rights. Would it be worth it?"

I let go of the breath I didn't realize I was holding. No. I would not be able to make such a decision. To commit such an injustice. Yet, now the question is different and in many ways, much more disturbing.

"Is it true that I would gain his powers if he dies at my hand?" Supposing I find a way to do that.

"It is possible. Nothing is certain, Harry." Dumbledore says, but without much conviction.

"Then we both need to die. At my hand or at his."

I sense the old teacher's surprise. I'm pretty sure he only considered a win-lose option. Most Gryffindors only see that way. Yet, in life like in chess, sacrifices are needed. The sacrifice of an innocent is one thing. A willing sacrifice is a different story. If I do find a way to defeat him, I would become too dangerous. Better to not have the temptation. Lose-lose. Must be my Slytherin side talking.

"We will find another way, Harry."

"There might not be. If we both died..."

"No."

"If we both died, all would be safe. There has to be a way to use the connection to destroy us both. I couldn't break it"

"No." I can see it's more a denial of the cost, yet not of the consequences. Dumbledore is just too good at seeing the big picture not to consider such a scenario a blessing to all.

I have to think about this. Much as I would prefer to survive...