Author's Note: This installment builds on a moment from the PoA film that I always found interesting. Please let me know what you think.

Random Acts

"Year Nineteen"

"Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil."

Baltasar Gracian, 1647

God it had hurt, the iron brand magically transfixed with his number searing into his flesh. Werewolf Registry Number 032061. He'd never forget the smell of skin-gorged smoke wafting across his face, pain white across his eyelids as he bit down on the pain bar they thrust in his mouth.

The 'torture artist' threw out his cigarette nonchalantly, spelled the brand to change a digit and pulled the next werewolf forward, a young boy whose screams followed Remus as he walked down the ministry hall with his papers clenched and nearly shredded in his shaking hand. The man had never even looked at him, never met his eyes. He might as well be in a slaughterhouse…or a detainment center….or Hell…

Bright hall light blinded him and the world spun. Someone walked by. And another. Voices coming and going as he leaned over and retched on the white scrubbed floor. He didn't even remember turning in his paperwork or coming home. But here he sat on his moth-eaten couch, pen and pad in hand. And Lily Evans stood in the doorway.

"Hello, Lily. Please go."

"James said you'd say as much, that you'd be fine." She put on the tea kettle and placed some bags on the table.

"James knows better than to keep hounding me."

"Well…he and Sirius… they just don't know what to do sometimes. Other than learn to be animagi….or take you out to get stinking drunk. And you turned them down on drinks." She walked into the living room and hunkered down in front of him with her hands on his knees.

"And Peter," she laughed ruefully. "Peter has never been able to sympathize with anyone but himself, really. But he said to tell you 'hello'." She wrapped her arms around his calves and gave them a small hug.

"Talk to me."

"Lily, I'm not up for company."

She removed the pen and paper from his lap and put them on the coffee table. "You can tell the boys that, but it doesn't work on me…..are you alright?"

He shook his head, eyes still not meeting hers, and she sat down beside him and took his hand, leaning over to try and meet his eyes.

"I brought some curry from the place down your block. I thought you might be hungry."

"I don't want to eat……or talk."

She leaned back slowly, still holding his hand, and made it known, though obstinate silence, that she wasn't leaving. After a very long moment, Remus half turned to her and pulled his hand away.

"Lily….I don't want…don't need tea and sympathy right now. I have a lot of things I need to think about…In many ways, my life is no longer my own….. I've got a brand on my chest now that tells the entire world what I am."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she whispered, "They put it on your chest?"

"Here…near my heart," he mumbled with a quick point and looked away.

She reached her hand up to draw his eyes back to her but he pulled his head away and she stood up to gauge him worriedly as she wiped her eyes and steadied herself.

"Tea and sympathy won't kill you, Remus. You shouldn't be alone, especially now…."

He watched her walk to the small closet in the hallway and remove the extra pillow and blanket she knew he kept there then he dropped his head, studying the listless hands in his lap.

"Lily….you're practically a married woman. James wouldn't want you staying over here."

"I'll sleep there on the couch. You're my friend. You need someone to look after you…." She put the bed things beside him and hunkered down once more, took his hands in hers. Remus studied the complicated, sublime lines of their intertwined fingers and palms. Years later, he would draw those hands from memory and still be able to feel the warmth and strength they gave. "I'm not going anywhere, so don't try and talk me out of it. Won't do you any good."

Remus provided her with the faintest of smiles, but it didn't travel to his eyes or his soul. When he really smiled and meant it, Remus was practically lit from within, and she vowed to stay put until she saw that light again.

"You need to get some sleep."

She pulled the thick cotton jumper slowly over his head and gasped to find a hastily applied, blood-drenched bandage taped above his heart.

"Merlin, Remus." Lily walked hurriedly into the bathroom and came back with a washcloth, fresh bandages, and medicines. And without moving, Remus' body stiffened, a small sound coming from his throat when she touched the brand lightly with a potion-soaked rag.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and cupped his face with one hand as she carefully cleaned the wound.

"Remus, you know we're still writing letters, making petitions. We can still get these new rules appealed."

"….It's too late for talk."

After she fastened the clean bandage, Lily nudged his ear with her nose and gently kissed the tender skin below his lobe.

"Close your eyes. Rest. Everything will be better tomorrow. I promise."

"No…"

"I promise you…..time will help. Tomorrow, we'll go get breakfast and…maybe we'll go to the countryside. Get some fresh air. Get you out of the city for a bit. And then when we get back, we'll keep making noise about the new laws. We won't let people turn the other way on this."

"They already have," he said quietly as he lay down on the couch and curled on his side, away from her. Soon after his breathing became steady and quiet. She sat in the chair, watching him, hoping he'd find some reprieve in slumber and relax into the comfortable arms of somnolence when he stirred and said quietly, "Lily?...When you're a married woman…."

"What, Remus?" She moved from the floor to sit on the edge of the couch and turned him to her, leaning in and touching his hair. He focused on a spot over her shoulder, then closed his eyes, afraid to see her reaction.

"…Even after you're married…..will you sometimes think on our night in the field? It's selfish of me…"

But when he opened his eyes and managed to look into Lily's, he found her pupils dark with the raw passion they remembered.

"You were my first."

"And you were mine. You know nothing will ever change that. But you pulled away from me, Remus. You ran from me for so long. And while you were running, James was there."

"I know," he said gently, knowing it was true, having heard it before from both his own mind and her lips. And Sirius'….And James', for that matter. Her reaction had changed from anger a year ago to the regret he saw in her face today.

"James will take care of you."

"You could have taken care of me, too," she admitted quietly.

"No."

She knew better than to try and argue with him, knew the way he felt, that his Lycanthropy made it impossible for him to live a normal life, and by proxy, would force anyone who loved him into a life of abnormality, as well.

"I could never imprison the ones I love." Her gentle hand threaded into his hair, and he shut his eyesto drank in the touch.

"Remus, I never saw your love as imprisonment. On the contrary, loving you felt like freedom. Still does. For the rest of my days, I'll always love you….always…..you should know that…go to sleep."

When he woke up later, he found her partially sitting up on the floor with her head curled into his and her hand resting on his stomach. He pulled her up onto the couch and she sleepily went - the two of them a tight fit but neither complaining. He noticed how, even in her sleep, she worked her way around the brand, careful not to hurt him.

And when they woke up in the morning, she took him to the country.

And Remus forgot the emotional and physical pain of the brand. At least for that day.

They hiked to a magical waterfall that only wizards could see and Lily smiled as Remus, in his comforting, professor-like way, told her about grindylows and other creatures that lived in such waters.

She got him to laugh by reminding him of times long gone and moments they had shared in more carefree days. She packed Honeyduke's Finest chocolate, chicken salad sandwiches and Earl Grey tea, his favorites, and they had a comforting, drawn-out lunch under an enormous willow tree.

And before long, she saw in the stunning blue depths of his eyes that perfect light that Remus emanated when a smile reached his soul. It took everything she had to not break down in tears of relief as she moved around to hug him from behind, her cheek nestled into his shoulder blades and her arms warm around the responsive skin of his stomach.

And in the waning hours of the day, they stood by the lakeside watching a beautiful soft sun dip toward the greens and browns of the earth. They talked of her love of children and her desire to start a family. Remus skipped a rock across the glassy water then turned to her and said with a wistful smile, "I can't wait to look after the kids when you and James are off on vacation, take them for walks in the countryside. Give them sweets when you're not looking…. Be Uncle Remus."

"Merlin, I hope you do! But, Remus, my father is a dentist. Sweets are where I draw the line."

"Candy is medicinal," he said, walking over to offer her a square even though he knew she'd say 'no'.

She covered the hand that proffered the chocolate with both of hers and, for a brief moment, looked both wonderfully content and mildly afraid.

"Remus….James and I..and our children, we'll always be your family. Please…" She squeezed his hands and he squeezed back. "Promise you'll never walk out of my life…out of our lives."

"Family." he repeated carefully, his face mild and thoughtful.

"Family. Always and forever." And despite herself, she stretched upward on her toes to kiss him gently and chastely on the lips then looked back to gauge him. Remus stared at her intently then smiled and slung an arm around her shoulders to pull her close. They watched the last of the sun disappear into the water, streaks of silver fading away. Then hand in hand, the two friends walked through the meadow, their quiet voices resonating in the cool, windless sky.

Remus never admitted to anyone that just minutes before Lily arrived, he had stood in front of his cracked bathroom mirror, knife in hand, his eyes fixed sternly on the cheap blood-sopped cloth hanging tenaciously to his chest, beads of blood forming on the shiny impermeable surface of the tape. His hand rose, trembling, to pull at the bandage as outside footfalls drew nearer.

Remus had decided to cut the burn out of his chest, even though he knew from fine print in the legislation paperwork that the brand was magically connected to his heart, that he'd bleed to death without it. But he had thought better to die…..better to die with his head held high than live in a world that would punish a good person for a bad misfortune.

Not that he longed for death. But his life hadn't seemed as important as making a statement on the insufferable state of things. He had sat down - just for a moment - to make his final statement.

And then Lily arrived.

Beautiful Lily….who made him forget the present just long enough to reveal the glimmer of a better tomorrow. And become himself again.

tbc