It is easy enough to be friendly with one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.

Mohandas K. Gandhi

Streaks of late evening light fell on Remus as he sat in the otherwise very dark, book-laden study of his home. He leaned tiredly over his desk, quill bobbing in movement as a bead of moisture trickled down his jaw and held tenaciously from his chin before falling to the parchment below.

He'd spent all day editing, erasing, and elaborating Issue XVI of The Western European Journal of Ancient Magical Creatures and their Habitats; and the sooner he finished, the sooner he got paid. Even more rewarding, he could just pass out. But he couldn't think of that now.

Archaeological evidence tends to support the popular theory that early dragon habitats shifted per season to follow food sources, both floral and faunal, that they previously knew of.

Another dangling preposition. And a bad sentence, at that.

Knock Knock Knock

He started at the firm, evenly-spaced knocks at his door but didn't spare much time to consider their author and opted not to answer. Considering the nature of the knock, too harsh for a salesman. A disgruntled neighbor, perhaps? Noise complaint?

Remus rummaged the gauze-covered memories of the night before last, searching for a particularly loud or bothersome moment he might have caused from his cage in the basement.

He shifted in his seat, breath hitching at the dull pain nestled in his joints. The blood-soaked bandage on his side gave a moist sound with the slight movement, and he looked down to make sure it hadn't bled through his shirt. His best shirt, really, but somehow putting it on helped him deny that anything was amiss.

Remus chastised himself for thinking about his pain and hunger. He needed to focus on the journal. Something for something. He would provide a service. Edit the journal and receive payment in exchange. And he could use that to get his life back in order. He wanted simplicity, structure, stability again. He wanted to rebuild a foundation and start life anew.

And pain distracted from that….as did the knock at the door, which occurred again, harder and more insistent.

WHAMWHAMWHAM

The werewolf shook his head and kept writing. Even when his "visitor" magically opened the door, Remus only pointed his wand towards the entry and continued to write with the other hand. Just as he finished article seven, a dark figure hovered nearby, and Remus raised his head to find none other than a clearly disgruntled Severus Snape. He casually returned the wand to his belt and kept writing.

"Severus, have you ever heard of trespassing?"

"Lupin, have you ever heard of answering your owls?"

Lupin's quill continued to scratch away in even tones.

"Dumbledore sent you one this morning, and you haven't replied. If you could manage the responsibility of so menial a task as answering your mail, I'd be home as we speak."

"Severus, I'm sure you've received ample compensation, in one form or another, for coming here."

"Indeed," Severus drawled blandly and gave off a petulant sigh as his eyes roved around Lupin's small house.

"There's tea on the stove. Nothing to eat, really. I'm sorry, I don't have much to offer you."

He could tell from Snape's demeanor that he had expected volatility, belligerence, anything but this distant but cordial welcome. But Remus didn't have the energy to hold grudges. Or the time.

"In accordance with Dumbledore's orders, I've brought you potions of various sorts, depending on whatever havoc you managed to wreak upon yourself this last full moon."

"Thank you."

"Dumbledore was concerned. The full moons after concluding a wolfsbane regimen are supposed to be particularly harsh."

"They have been," he said in a clipped voice, pulling his cloak around shaking shoulders with one free arm as the other traced parchment.

Snape's hard heels tapped slowly on the wooden planks until he reached Lupin's desk.

"You're sweating."

"I'm fine. And yes, Severus, it was a bad moon. As were the last four. If you want to leave those potions in the kitchen, I'm actually quite busy."

Snape gauged him for a moment. "As much as the thought of departing this….place… pleases me, I can't leave until I've had a look at you. Dumbledore's orders."

"Then you can look at me when I finish this."

"And when might that occur?"

"In about an hour. Feel free to find a book if you like. Or leave the things in the kitchen and go. Either would be fine. Thank you so much, and please tell Dumbledore that I'm well."

"You don't appear well," Snape remarked, more of a statement than a concern.

"Are you staying then?"

"One hour, Lupin."

Remus looked up for a moment and could tell by the set of Snape's shoulders that he had found quite a few books to interest him on the teeming shelves. After walking back and forth several times, he sat down with one.

"Do try and keep your schedule, Lupin. I have no interest in devoting any more time to your canine-induced travails than necessary."

He turned just once in the hour to look at Snape, who sat stiffly on the couch engrossed in a book, his legs crossed and lips slightly pursed as he read. Remus squinted his eyes for the title -- The Migratory Patterns of Mexican Freetail Bats -- and turned his face to hide the smile it gave him as he continued editing.

Fifty five minutes later, Remus touched his side and managed a genuine sigh of relief when he had double checked every page and rolled the parchment into a waterproof canister. He gestured to Dumbledore's beautiful silvery owl, who sat patiently on the window sill.

"You hijacked Dumbledore's owl?"

Remus looked slightly embarrassed.

"I needed him to deliver this as soon as I finished…. .This one is for Dumbledore," he told the owl kindly, affixing the slightly overdue letter. "And this one goes to Flourish and Blotts Publishers House, West Diagon Alley. You'll pass it on the way home."

Lupin offered the owl a nice morsel from his desk drawer, and she screeched in thanks before swooping out the small window. He turned to Snape with a wince and explained. "I haven't been….healthy. And that edition, my first at this job, is due by 5:00. If I didn't send an owl with it by 4:00….well, this new job would probably be my second former one this year. At present, I can't afford to rent an owl, let alone buy one. And my ability to deliver it by hand at the moment is…lacking."

"Your subsequent moons won't be as bad." Snape nodded his head with an odd expression. It almost looked like sympathy to Remus, but he knew it couldn't be that. Gas maybe, but not sympathy.

When he got up with some difficultly and clutched weakly at the edge of the desk, Snape caught him by the elbow and led him to the couch to sit him down.

"Lupin, did you have an extended loss of consciousness after this full moon?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"Not sure. Twelve , thirteen hours, perhaps."

"Dizziness? Vertigo?"

"Some."

"Pain in the joints."

"Very much so."

"What about blurred vision?"

He nodded.

Snape gave an irritated sigh when he looked at Lupin's eyes and fingertips. Remus puffed out a small chuckle and grinned in spite of himself when Snape pushed at his upper lip with two thumbs to check his canines for interlunar protrusion. Snape gave him a chastising look and wiped the wet thumbs on his own pants as he sat down.

"There's a man at Diagon named Cretagus Grendil. He can make wolfsbane for a decent price. I'm aware of his skills. He's not as flawless a potionsmaker as I am, but his technique is satisfactory. In the meantime, I've left you enough for the next full moon."

Remus looked surprised.

"I agreed to make it with the specifications for preservation…for the next full moon only. Dumbledore wished it provided until you have some stability at your new position. It's been preserved. There is a slight loss of efficacy, but it is marginal. Don't open the flasks until you take them; and they must be heated to 85 degrees and consumed immediately.

He nodded weakly as Snape removed several small corked bottles from his bag and schooled Remus on the contents with a tone usually reserved for first year Hufflepuffs.

"This is an abluvial potion. It will cleanse your blood of toxins that have built up in your system from the wolfsbane lapse and should alleviate the nausea. There's also condolesca for pain and something for sleep. The condolesca is in two flasks and must be combined at least an hour before drinking but no more than two.…As far as what you shall do next, I'll leave that to you.

"Thank you, Severus. Grendil sounds promising. I'll visit him in the next few days. I appreciate your recommending someone, as I know bad wolfsbane is worse than none. And I respect your opinion regarding potionsmasters."

Snape nodded his approval. Then a strange, uncomfortable silence passed between them as Severus looked slightly embarrassed. Remus wondered if a simple 'thank you' was that difficult for him to accept.

"Lupin, I'm not a healer, but do you want me to look at your side?"

His black eyes traced to Lupin's side and back to his face again, and Remus looked down to see that the bandage had finally bled through his blasted good shirt. No surprise, really. He'd sat at his desk for at least six hours.

Despite the terrible fever that made his mind swim on the bare edge of consciousness, Remus tried to seem bored with it all and looked away with a shake of his head.

"No, Severus, it's fine. Just a scratch."

"Just a scratch," Severus said, shaking his head at the blood soaking through the werewolf's shirt. "You could at least allow someone to check it for you."

"No, I assure you it's fine." But when Remus leaned forward to get up, the world went dark.

Hours later, he awoke in his bed to find Pomfrey bustling about, her open medic bag on his nightstand and a large bowl of soup from the Hogwarts kitchen steaming beside it. And Snape nowhere in sight.

Time flew, not necessarily because Remus or anyone else, for that matter, was having fun.

He sat at Dumbledore's large oak desk one day, rolling up several maps when Albus gauged him in quiet concern and asked, "How have you been, RJ?"

Remus looked up, frozen for a moment, before he continued to roll the maps and put them back in their large leather canister. "I've been well, Albus. Grendil has turned out to be a fairly good wolfsbane maker. None of the moons have been as terrible as those first few after I left Hogwarts. The gash in my side healed slowly, but there was no permanent damage."

"I didn't know you were badly injured this past year." Albus looked at him curiously, a small, mysterious smile on his face.

"Yes," he said carefully. "Poppy said the wound in my side had gone septic and caused the fever that made me black out for so long. If it hadn't been for you sending Severus, I might not have made it past the morning."

"Remus, I never sent Severus to check on you."

"You did. Last year…. five months after I resigned…. right after the full moon, Albus." Remus added, wondering if the wizard wasn't getting forgetful in his later years.

Dumbledore's eyes danced. "Remus, I never sent Severus to check on you…I did send a letter inquiring as to how you were doing."

"Ah…well." Remus scratched lightly at his ear with a casual finger and chuckled. "I see."

"That same day, he did ask if I had heard from you, and I told him I had sent an owl but she hadn't returned. I hadn't been too worried. She loves to flit about and hunt in the fields. And she came back that evening with a note from you stating….that everything was fine." There was a quiet reprimand in Dumbledore's voice. And a subtle hint of knowing.

Remus sat down, pensive. "Pomfrey said I could have easily died. The infection had spread to my blood. I assumed you sent for her. I guess Severus did. He brought me wolfsbane….potions…and called for Poppy when I blacked out."

Albus fumbled through his pockets for lemon drops as he watched Remus carefully, read his thoughts. "How does a man always desperate to repay a good deed go about thanking a man who doesn't want to be thanked?"

Remus looked slightly embarrassed that Albus instinctively read his thoughts and left the headmaster's office with a smile on his face and his brow knitted .

Why did Snape do it? Well…"why" didn't really matter at this point. That was a very deep tunnel to travel. Finding a way to thank Severus was a complicated matter in itself, and the more important conundrum.

But how? He couldn't simply thank him for an act of kindness he had emphatically attributed to someone else. Snape would find it…humiliating. And he had not lorded the gesture over Remus that past year. In fact, it had never come up between them. The potions master had gone back to his snarky, sneering disposition, skirting Remus in meetings, throwing him glares as if Remus' presence was constantly accompanied by the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard.

He decided to let the issue go for now. And if there came a time when Snape needed something….or someone….perhaps he could help, in some small way.

And as bad luck would have it in times of war, he didn't have to wait long, for The Order rarely managed to extract information without it exacting a price. And Snape often paid for information in flesh…yet The Order took his suffering in stride, justifying it as payment due for past transgressions.

Their casual receipt of Snape's sacrifices disgusted Lupin. Not that Snape wanted their pity, but beneath his heavy veneer of defensiveness was someone who needed a moment of sympathy just as badly as anyone else who hurt alone, in dark corners of their mind. And Remus knew as much about that as anyone.

Lupin sat through the rest of the Order meeting lost in thought, aggravated by his inability to pay attention after hearing that Voldemort had tortured Severus yet again. And afterwards, he cornered Fletcher.

"Oh, you know Snape, he'll be fine," Mundungus said.

"But he wasn't here for the meeting. Where did he go?"

Fletcher looked at him as if it were a silly question.

"Back to Hogwarts, I suppose."

Snape wasn't in his rooms, in his classroom, in his study. After borrowing the marauder map from Harry, Remus located him, alarmingly, on the steep sloped roof above Slytherin tower. Wand lit, he walked carefully along the narrow ledge until he finally spotted Severus sitting, elbows on knees and looking straight ahead into the night air, a potion-soaked rag wrapped around his forearm where the dark mark burned.

Out here perched like a vampire bat, Remus mused. Things like that don't help with the rumors.

"Severus, what are you doing up here on the roof?"

Snape's eyes slowly roamed to Remus who pulled himself up over the sharp edge with a grunt and carefully stood into the angled "ground", smiling and brushing dirt-covered hands on his pants.

Annoyed, Snape looked away as Remus walked up the incline and sat next to him. He didn't seem to have his wand, a scary thought when one considered the steep nature of his secret roost.

"Lupin….just strolling through, I presume."

"Of course." He murmured a spell to put a temporary safety net over the edge. "You could lose your balance and fall right off this thing, you know."

Snape's voice dripped with bored sarcasm. "And what a loss that would be."

"Up here playing the emotional violin for yourself?"

"I'm looking for some quiet. You're not welcome, by the way." he added as Remus sat down beside him.

"Oh, I imagine I'm not."

After a long moment of silence, Snape began to stand up but lurched forward awkwardly and Remus grasped him firmly by the arm and helped him back down.

"Here!…sit down for a bit more. You're dizzy?"

Snape squeezed his eyes shut and let his chin drop to his chest, breathing heavily through his nose. "Residual…. from the cruciatus. It will pass."

"God….he hit you with it again?"

Snape said nothing.

"Well, you picked a hell of a bad spot to sit for a spell."

Lupin was shocked and somewhat pleased to see the edges of Snape's mouth go up in a tight smile. "If that was an advertent pun, you should be hit with the cruciatus for that alone."

The werewolf chuckled lightly.

"Lupin, what are you doing?"

"Dumbledore sent me to check on you. Why did you come up here?"

"The view."

"It's 2:00 am, Severus. For all intensive purposes, there is no view."

"Maybe not to you….." Severus looked up again with blank eyes. "But I see a thousand possibilities in the dark."

Lupin observed him for a moment before looking back into the thick blackness of the starless night.

"If you keep this up, he'll kill you."

"I do what I must."

"Then you ask too much of yourself."

"There is no such thing in times of war, Lupin. You know that as well as I do.…Besides…many see my life as proper payment for the sins of my youth."

"They don't understand that people change. If they can't forgive you, that's their problem, not yours….your sacrifices are worth no less than anyone else's."

"But if I remain unforgiven, then it is my problem….a problem only my death may solve. Quite possibly, it's a fair exchange."

"For who? For you? Your death in exchange for forgiveness?" Remus considered him for a moment. "It hurts you deeply…that people still hold grudges."

"No, not at all. Their judgment is not so much a care as an issue, really."

"But you still have guilt about the first war."

"Of course." Snape said, matter-of-factly."

Remus suddenly realized that he and Snape had more in common than he thought. And he said quietly, "I know something about guilt. And lack of forgiveness."

"I agree with one of those statements."

Remus looked at him cautiously, clearly unaware of what he meant. And Snape threw him a double-take and shook his head.

"For the love of Merlin….People run around desperate to forgive you, Lupin, to fall over you to make your life better. You just never see it, because you're too busy wallowing in your own guilt. I, on the other hand, have very little guilt but a large helping of judgment waiting for me at every opportunity."

"You know so little about what my life has been like, Severus."

"I know enough."

Remus felt his jaw tighten, his ears grow hot.

"People are willing to forgive me but not you?"

"That's a rather simplistic way of putting a complex observation, but yes."

"You speak strongly against the unforgiving nature of others, but you've never forgiven me for what happened in the shrieking shack."

Snape looked over at him, a bit surprised.

"Never forgave you for the shrieking shack, Lupin? I could have cared less. I hate you for you for being a spineless coward, for turning your head a hundred times over while your friends tormented me. It's a state of being, not an act. I can't forgive you for being the person that you are. And you shouldn't expect me to."

"The person that I was…"

"That you are.."

"I was a child, Severus. A child who had spent most of his life friendless and alone. I wasn't strong enough to risk losing them."

"Like I said, a spineless coward."

Remus sighed. He had climbed a very steep roof to talk to Snape about current matters and ended up picking at old wounds.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry…… I wish I could amend those days. But I can't take them back. I can only be the man I am now and tell you I hate those memories as much as you do. They cut me just as deeply. If you cannot accept that I share your pain, that makes you no better than the people who judge you in the exact same way. I accept that you're different from the young man Voldemort marked. Can't you accept that I've changed, as well? Severus……can't we let this go? We have too much hardship in our lives to keep carrying the past around like a dead weight."

"Let the past go….for your own sake."

"For both our sakes, can't we walk into the future unhindered?"

"You've been allowed to do that a thousand times over, werewolf….start over…but life has chained me to my past for eternity," he said quietly, touching his forearm. He sat silently for many minutes, letting the breeze wash over him.

"Not where I'm concerned. You have all the time I have left, Severus. All my days to forgive me. I won't stop trying to be your friend….It's late, and you're tired….let me get you back."

Finally, Lupin stood and offered his hand. When the potionsmaster didn't take it, he took him gently by the elbow and helped him up. With several carefully laid spells to protect them from a fall, Lupin got him off the roof and back to the dungeons, where Severus visibly relaxed into the home that greeted him – coarse walls, cold floors, austere and minimalist decor and an intricate cacophony of potions equipment.

Remus looked around and cringed. Snape sat down automatically on the black velvet couch and pulled his neat shirt out of the tuck, unwrapped the now dried out rag around his forearm and put it on the table in front of him, where Remus almost immediately picked up it and took it over to a warm cauldron on the potions table.

"Is this what was on the rag?"

Snape nodded warily and Remus resoaked the rag and wrapped it back around the arm, looking at Severus in the honest light of the room.

He eyes were sunken and bloodshot, his face streaked with dried tears, and a deep scratch smeared with clotted blood ran across his cheek.

"You have a cut, just here." Remus touched it lightly.

"I'm not injured."

"You scratched yourself…..when you were in pain." Remus found a rag and salve and carefully wiped at the spot then hunkered down to show the bloody cloth to Severus before he folded it over. "It happens," he said with a small smile, pointing quickly to his own face.

Snape's eyes absentmindedly roved over the werewolf's scarred skin for a long moment before Remus went to Snape's potion cabinet and removed a bottle for dreamless sleep.

"Reprieve?" Remus asked, putting the bottle on the table.

"No….I don't want to sleep." Snape muttered tiredly, clear exhaustion belying his words.

Still standing, Lupin let his eyes trace the room.

"Alcohol?"

Severus was quiet for a moment. "…Yes."

Remus wandered the room silently a bit before Snape muttered, "The cabinet above the size four cauldron, on the right hand side."

Remus poured a large glass of scotch and offered it to Snape, who noticed Remus didn't pour any for himself.

"I see werewolves don't like scotch," he deadpanned and Remus got a glass and poured himself two fingers worth and sat down beside him. They drank in silence, Severus draining his glass and setting it down before Remus had barely taken his first sip.

"Another?"

"No."

"……….Would you like to talk?"

"No."

Snape sat stiffly, staring into nothing; and Remus looked at him for a full minute before he glanced into his amber-filled glass, wondering if he should even bother with the next question. Maybe he should just leave.

"Do you want to be alone?"

But something flickered in Snape's stone-set face before he answered, quite frankly, "No."

And Remus sensed a vulnerability in him at that moment, a vulnerability that needed the attention of someone who wouldn't take advantage of it, for once.

Remus put an arm around Severus and pulled him to his shoulder. Surprisingly, the potionmaster's eyes closed. And slowly, carefully, he leaned into Lupin and accepted the embrace, learning for the first time the warmth and protectiveness of a friend when you need one most. And the serenity it gave him, like the best of sleeping potions, soothed his soul. And he slept deeply.

Remus leaned his head onto Snape's and smiled just a bit. He'll probably accuse me of spiking his drink. But Snape felt safe with him…..Remus Lupin….the man who almost ate him whole years ago. He kept waiting for Snape to wake up and scream at him to get out. But it didn't happen.

After an hour, Remus got up and gently let Snape down onto the couch, picked up the awkwardly angled legs so that he lay on his side and took off his boots. Then he retrieved two blankets from Snape's bedroom and covered him carefully with one before he lowered the lights and sank into a chair, wrapping the second blanket around his shoulders.

"Goodnight, Severus." he whispered.

As dim light leeched through a high dungeon window and filtered into the rooms, Remus cracked open one eye and stretched his stiff back with a low moan.

"Good morning." He looked up to see Severus already dressed in full robes and standing in front of him with a steaming cup of black tea. "Here."

"Thank you."

"I believe you have your weekly appointment with Moody at 9:00 am, if this is indeed Saturday."

"Mmm…yes, that's right. What time is it?"

"7:30…Enough time for breakfast before you go. And you may use my bathroom facilities, if you so desire."

After showering and wand-cleaning his clothes, Remus emerged from the bathroom to find Severus sitting casually at the table waiting for him. Over poached eggs and crispy ham, they exchanged, for the first time Remus could remember, awkward but inconsequential small talk.

But when Remus stood up to leave, Snape said accusingly, "Dumbledore didn't send you."

Remus stopped midway though buttoning his waistcoat, his face unreadable for a long moment before he allowed himself a slow, affectionate smile.

"He didn't send you, either…last Fall." If Snape were surprised or angry..or anything for that matter, he didn't show it. And Remus broadened his grin and continued with his buttons and he headed off to meet Moody.

But he stopped at the door to glance back at Snape, who sent him the barest of bemused smiles. Remus chuckled. "We always have to make it difficult, don't we."

"Of course."

Remus nodded to himself as he turned the knob. "Goodbye, Severus."

And as the door shut quietly, Severus looked after him.

"Goodbye…..Remus."

tbc

Author's Note: Thank you SO much for the reviews! I apologize to all the people who've been crying through these. I owe you all a multi-chaptered comic piece after this to make up for my crimes. :)

Please let me know what you thought of this one. I love reviews and, to be honest, if it weren't for you guys, these things would not get written, because I am a lazy lazy arse.

This was a more minimalist chapter style-wise and was geared to reflect the type of dysfunctional relationship these two men have.

A short guard duty talk with Tonks is next, followed by Xmas Day at Grimmauld.

Cheers to all!

Rane