Chapter 6: A Friend Like Me

(Inside a destroyed Cave of Wonders, Kurama and Hiei are unconscious until Carpet awakens Hiei)

Hiei: (Groans) Damn it! Well this was a fine way to spend the day, eh Kurama? Kurama? (Sees Kurama is still out like a light) Great.

Kurama: (Starts to stir) My...head. We're trapped. That two-faced son of a jackel!

Hiei: More like son of a bitch.

Kurama: You know what I mean. Oh well, whoever he was, he's long gone with that lamp.

Hiei: Not necessarily. (pulls out the lamp from beneath his cloak)

Kurama: You sneaky little thief.

Hiei: Flattery'll get you nowhere.

Kurama: It just looks like a beat up worthless piece of junk. Looks like there's something written on here but it's hard to make out. (rubs lamp)

(Lamp sparks and shakes and something emerges from within.)

Jin: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Oy! Ten thousand years will give one big crick in the neck. One second boyoh. (Spins his head around in a circle) Boy is it good bein out of there.(Looks at Kurama) You smoke? Mind if I do? (turns into a cloud of smoke and laughs) Sorry there. Hope I didn't singe your outfit. Hm? You're a wee bit smaller than me last master. Either that or I'm gettin bigger. Look at the side. Do I look different to you?

Kurama: Wait. I'm your master?

Jin: That's right. He can be taught. I'm the all powerful genie of the lamp. Though me friends call me Jin. And I'm here to fullfill your deepest wishes.

Kurama: Woah, woah, woah. Wishes?

Jin: Three wishes to be precise. And no more.

Kurama: Now I know I'm dreaming.

Jin: Master, I don't think you realize what you've got here. So why don't you just ruminate whilst I illuminate the possibilities. (Singing) Well Alibaba had them Forty Thieves, Sheherazadi had a thousand tales. But master you in luck cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic; never fails. You got some power in your corner, now. Some heavy ammunition in your camp. You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo and how. See all you gotta do is rub that lamp. And I'll say, "Mr. Kurama, sir, what will your pleasure be? Let me take your order, jot it down. You ain't never had a friend like me" Ho ho ho. Life is your restaurant and I'm your matre'd. Come on and whisper what it is you want. You ain't never had a friend like me.

Yes sir(splits into four people), we pride ourselves on service. You're the boss, the king, the shaw. Say what you wish. It's yours. True dish. How 'bout a little more Baglavah. Have some of column A. Try all of column B. I'm in the mood to help you dude. You ain't never had a friend like me.

So don't just sit there slack jaw, boogie-eyed. I'm here to answer all your midnight prayers. You got me bone fide, certified. You got a genie for your charge d' faires. I got a powerful urge to help you out. So what you wish I really wanna know. You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt. So all you gotta do is rub like so and Ho. Mister Kurama sir, have a wish or two or three. I'm on the job, you big nay bob. You ain't never had a friend like me.

(Kurama stands stunned. Carpet applaudes. Hiei scowls(duh))

Jin: So what'll it be master?

Kurama: I don't know. Looks can be decieving. What do you think Hiei?

Hiei: I'll be he can't even get us out of this stupid cave.

Jin: Excuse me? Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And now all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so. Not right now. You're getting your wishes, so SIT DOWN!

(Kurama and Hiei sit down on the carpet.)

Jin: In case of emergencies, exits are located, well anywhere. Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet, cause we're outta here!

(All of the friends blast through the roof and into the starry night.)

To Be Continued...