Thank you guys so much for the reviews!
Here's a quick gaiden I came up with when waiting for my parents in the car on our trip. I hope you like it!
Changes
Gaiden One
Itachi was always a short boy. I mean, look; for a seventeen year old kid, he hasn't grown very much in the past few.
Tsumi, however, wasn't a very tall girl either. She'd often been mistaken to be Itachi's twin sister, but never had they bothered to discuss their growth. Sure, they'd argued a few times, but…
He threw a stolen chicken down. "Tsumi, I got us some dinner."
"Dinner, you say? I already threatened a chef into making me a nice big meal, but I killed him afterwards anyway," she replied.
Pouting, Itachi cooked his prey and ate it while Kisame stuffed live and raw fish down his throat.
"Which one of you is the taller one?" he suddenly asked to break the silence, but had only realized his mistake sometime after his companions scrambled to their feet and faced each other, eyes blazing.
"I am!" they shouted in unison. "No, I am!"
"Hoshigaki, you make the decision!" Tsumi pointed out. "I'm taller, right?"
Kisame motioned for them to stand back to back, which they did, but he still couldn't tell.
"I can't tell," he informed them, and Itachi groaned.
"Use this to measure both of us," he tossed a roll of measuring tape to Kisame. "Don't let my chick get – oww! Bitch!"
"The bump on his head doesn't count."
So Kisame measured both of them, and they were still the exact same size.
"What the hell!" they screamed at him, who just shrugged it off and went to eat. His companions, however, wouldn't let it off so easily, and broke out into another fight.
"I'm older than you by one day so I win," Itachi smirked.
"That's not fair! You were born an hour before midnight and I was born an hour after! How's that fair!" Tsumi screeched.
"So?"
"'So?'! What do you mean by that!"
"Calm down, I'm taller because you're my property and the master is always better."
"What! You bastard! I'm only yours until you decide you want to take my—"
"Idiot! You're my girlfriend! That makes you—"
"If I'm your girlfriend, you should stop being so possessive of me!"
"I don't want to argue. I'm taller."
Kunai and shuriken and weapons and attacks flew about until…
"Guys, you're the same height. Live with it," Kisame cut in. unfortunately, nobody heard his noble words.
"If you keep going on about me being a possession, I'd rather run off and let Sasuke take m—"
"You idiot! Don't ever mention him! Ever!"
"See? See? You're losing your cool! Itachi is losing his cool!" Tsumi sneered. "I can kick your ass any day!"
He could only think of one way to solve the mess he'd started. He put a sleeping drug into a bowl and ground it down. He them poured as much of the powder as he could into a cloth. Approaching Itachi slowly from behind, he suddenly slapped the cloth over his mouth and nose until Itachi had been knocked out. Falling to the floor like a puppet without strings, as lifeless as can be, Itachi started to snooze very, very soundly.
"Good work, Hoshigaki!" Tsumi congratulated him as he approached her, and ambushed her too. Feeling the need to prank them, Kisame halfheartedly stripped off his sleeping comrades' clothes and stuffed them into a bed.
'That should do it!' he thought and went to get some sleep of his own.