Fanfiction based in the world of Harry Potter, created by JKR. Her characters are hers. Original characters are mine. Please see first chapter for full disclaimers and description.

Lets face it. Even for those of us who are huge Severus Snape fans, the man is emotionally broken. At best. This chapter finds him having to deal with some of the expectations of his role as Death Eater, and also gives us a glimpse of Remus and Tonks. I like the idea of that 'ship, but not enough to write it in a lot of detail, sorry. You will see only glimpses of it here from the perspective of Rowena and Severus.

Chapter 13: Darkness Calls

Severus was moody and irritable on the way back to the castle from the Weasleys. This, of course, was hard to differentiate from his normal bitter and irritable state, except for the occasional twitch of the muscle in his jaw.

"I'm sure she'll be fine with the Weasleys, Severus. They're incredibly nice people. Arthur's arranging to have his floo connected to Hogwarts so we can visit whenever we want. We'll probably see her more often now than we did when she was at St. Mungos," Rowena said gently, trying to get him to talk to her. (About his feelings--fat chance!)

"I'm sure you are correct, Rowena," was all he said in reply, leaning his head back against the seat of the carriage with his eyes closed. It was actually a measure of how much he trusted her that he even did that. He normally never allowed anyone to see him in any turmoil, nor did he ever close his eyes in the presence of another. He had no magical eye like Alastor Moody, so had to rely wholly on his own.

He didn't speak further, though. When they arrived on the grounds he walked her to her quarters in silence, but did not accompany her inside or even kiss her goodnight.

"I have potions I must work on tomorrow which I have uncharacteristically neglected. I will be in my lab should you wish to see me. Good night," he said with cool politeness, and then turned and walked away, his robes billowing behind him.

Rowena was concerned for him. He apparently cared for Katrina more than he wanted to admit, perhaps even to himself. She made up her mind to visit him tomorrow in his lab, and went to bed. Her sleep was very restless.

Severus did not sleep. The potion that was temporarily stopped by the rescue of Katrina was a popular one. He couldn't shake the notion that it would soon be in production again, using another child, another cellar, another brewery.

Katrina's fate also weighed heavily on him. He was not cut out for fatherhood, by any stretch of the imagination. Yet he could not deny that Katrina had bonded with him. When an adoptive family finally appeared, she would be hurt again at the separation. Perhaps it would be best for her if he stayed away now.

He couldn't decide the best thing for Katrina; he had no experience in such things. But he did know that he could save other children from her fate. He would simply have to provide the potion himself, using a substitute ingredient for the blood of a wizarding child. It wouldn't be as good, of course. But it might be months before the patrons noticed the difference. He had created the original potion, after all. He could modify it with an adequate substitution.

He straightened his back rigidly and his face became a mask of perfect calm, as though he was a man facing executioners after wholly embracing and accepting his fate. Even the telltale muscle of his jaw was calm. Slowly, as though approaching a sleeping dragon, he walked to a low cabinet in the corner of the room. He removed a pitch-black wand from the depths of his sleeve and tapped the cabinet once. It sprang open as though pushed from within, and Severus took a deep breath, visibly steeling himself.

The cabinet was full of books and rolled parchment. Even on casual glance these books could not have been thought to be innocuous. They had odd runes in odd colored ink on their spines. On some of them, the runes actually glowed. Blood red, venomous green, one book even had red ink that appeared to be still wet, as though the runes on the spine continually oozed fresh blood. Another had a rigid spine with rings drilled through it to hold the pages. Closer inspection would reveal that spine to be made of bone, yellowing with age.

Severus did not allow his eyes to linger on the books, though his face was now covered in a fine sheen of perspiration. His jaw muscle did not twitch, but it was clenched tightly. His hands did not tremble, but he moved with a stiff rigidity of motion that was unlike his normal catlike grace. With slow deliberation he thumbed through several of the rolls of parchment until he found what he was seeking.

He replaced the other scrolls in the cabinet, holding only one in his hand. His eyes then were drawn to the books. A terrible light reflected in his eyes as he looked at them. He looked perhaps as a man might look under the irresistible spell of a Veela. It was a timeless eternity that he stared at them.

And then he blinked, and their hold was broken, for the moment at least. He stood and waved his wand, sealing the cabinet again. He sighed heavily and conjured himself a steaming cup of very strong tea. He drank, allowing himself a moment to recover and regain his strength and resolve for the next step.

A flutter of wings through his fireplace announced the arrival of an owl; a pitch-black creature with unnaturally red eyes. The owl dropped a small piece of parchment on the desk and then left immediately. Severus ran a tired hand across his face and then picked up the note.

"Severus,

I am hearing rumors from the Faithful that one of your most popular potions has now become quite scarce. The Aurors are interfering as usual, and it seems that the Mudblood-lover's twins are making ingredient acquisition difficult.

I do so like to reward my obedient servants. I expect you to remedy this situation at once. You will soon have access to all sorts of... ingredients... when your students return.

Do not disappoint me."


The letter was not signed, but when he had finished reading it began to smolder. First, merely a dark, smoking outline of the symbol that was so hated to him, which matched the hideous mark on his arm. Then it burned brighter and began to flame in earnest. He waved his wand and it fluttered into the fireplace where it burned to ash.

The expression on his face had not changed; he had been expecting this. He was actually surprised that it had taken this long. Narcissa and Bellatrix, among others, had been without their vanity beverage for nearly six weeks. It was only a matter of time before the whinging of the women would get to their spouses enough to bring it to the attention of the Dark Lord. He did 'so' like to 'reward' his faithful. And if in the course of that 'reward' he could rid the world of more mudbloods, so much the better.

He started a fire under his cauldron and retreated into his office and his private store-cupboard. He barely referenced the parchment that had cost him so much strength of will to retrieve from the cabinet. The cauldron steamed and bubbled, his thin, fine hair becoming increasingly lank by the minute as the moisture weighed it down.

He was oblivious to the time, his fatigue, or his surroundings as he brewed. Counting strokes, grinding cobra fangs, carefully slicing tortoise liver, weighing powdered unicorn horn and dragon scale... at last the final ingredient was needed. Fresh arterial blood of a child, or a wizard, but stronger if you could get both. They had always used mudblood children. The younger the child, the better the result.

Without a change in expression he pulled a long, thin knife from a drawer and held his own arm over the cauldron. He was by no means a young child, but he was pureblood. An acceptable substitute, though the resulting rejuvenation would not be quite as thorough as the original. In a smooth motion, he opened the artery at his wrist and allowed the blood to flow freely into the steaming, sizzling brew.

How he knew the proper amount is a mystery. He was a Potions Master; perhaps the most skilled Master currently living. After long minutes of watching the blood freely spurt into the mixture, he waved his wand and sealed the wound. It healed seamlessly, leaving only a tiny white line, barely a scratch, in its place.

He made a few other modifications. Adding some features of a strengthening potion to hide the weaker effects of the aged blood. He made additional notes on his parchment as he allowed the potion to simmer under his hawk-like gaze. At last he began to carefully ladle the mixture into a variety of small flasks. He didn't lose a drop, and filled over two dozen flasks with the potion. With a tired sigh he began to clear off, and then replaced the scroll with the recipe into the cabinet.

Perhaps it was because of his fatigue, or that it was the second time in one night that he had done it; for whatever reason, the ordeal of opening the cabinet was not nearly so taxing as it had been the first time. However, he did it very quickly, as though afraid something might escape from inside if left open too long.

He made himself another cup of tea and sat in exhaustion, waiting for the tea to refresh him enough to start on his next, more legitimate project.

Now it was Severus's turn not to make it to breakfast. Rowena chatted pleasantly with Albus and Minerva, but as soon as the meal was over she left the table. She wanted to go find him, but simultaneously wanted to provide him privacy and space if that's what he wanted and needed. He was not a man to easily figure out!

She was pacing the entrance hall, trying to decide on a course of action, when Remus entered through the main doors, a pretty woman with bright pink hair on his arm. He looked surprised to see her there, but then smiled, "Hi, Rowena. This is Nymphadora Tonks. I don't know if you met her at the Memorial?"

The woman rolled her eyes but ginned and said, "Just Tonks, Remus, how often to I have to tell you? I don't think I had the pink hair at the Memorial." She scrunched up her face with a look of concentration, and suddenly her hair was as white-blonde as Lucius Malfoy's. But Rowena recognized her then—from the Ministry, not the Memorial.

"Oh, you're the Metamorphmagus. I recall you from the lab. Nice to meet you."

"I'm here to get my potion, and Tonks wanted to come with me--to see you, actually. She has more spells and what-not for you to work on," Remus explained cheerfully. There was an altered air about him than when she had last seen him. He was still in old and carefully patched robes; his stubborn and independent nature would never allow him to accept financial assistance from their parents, even though they tried often to help him. But he didn't have the slightly resigned and defeated air about him that he usually carried.

Tonks smiled and nodded, gesturing to a large briefcase slung over her hip. "I've got quite a lot of them, actually. I've been in the field the last few weeks and it's a real nightmare out there, I can tell you. Can I have a bit of your time this morning? Remus was going to go haunt the library and maybe chat with Albus. After he gets his potion, of course."

Rowena couldn't help but smile at the woman's warm friendliness. She was also amused that Remus seemed to be courting the attention of a woman who was an Auror; he had been so intensely protective of her safety until their rift. What more dangerous job could there be? She supposed she might be reading more into the relationship than there was, but the Auror had been holding tightly to his arm, and the warm way they were smiling at and talking to each other led her to suspect they were at least dating if not lovers. She thought that probably explained Remus's apparent alteration.

She nodded, but also gave Remus a worried frown. "I'd be glad to work with you, Miss Tonks. But I think I'd better ask Severus for the potion myself. He had a rather rough day yesterday, there's just no telling what his mood is like today. Maybe you'd let me take you to my lab and wait there while I collect it?"

"Not 'Miss' Tonks, Rowena, really. Just Tonks. I'd love that. I'm no great shakes at research, but I'd love to see where it's done."

"I'll come with you until I have the potion at least," said Remus in a relaxed, friendly tone. Rowena cast him a suspicious glance, but shrugged and led the way to her lab.

She conjured tea for them and left them chatting happily while she used the public hallways to get to Severus's Lab. She didn't want either of them to know that she had more private access. She and Severus had definitely developed a degree of comfort with each other over the last few weeks since the Malfoy's Fete, and she didn't want Remus to interfere and possibly damage that!

She tapped gently on the door, and it swung open of its own accord. He was sitting at his desk, drinking a cup of tea, but he looked absolutely ghastly! She was certain he hadn't been to bed—his robes were surely the same as yesterday's—she could still see the dark stain on the shoulder where Katrina had been crying. His hair was so limp and lank that it was almost plastered to his head. But the worst was the unnatural grayish pallor of his already fair skin, heightened by the fine sheen of perspiration and moisture from the steam of brewing a recent potion.

There was an odd odor in the room, though that wasn't so unusual really; many potions caused odd and even unpleasant odors during the brewing. Still, she felt uneasy. It reminded her of some of the scenes at St. Mungos when she had worked there in the summer. It had an uncanny resemblance to the smell of burning flesh and blood when they had tried to cauterize more severe wounds quickly. She wasn't sure what he had been doing, or brewing, all night; but she was fairly certain that she was happier not knowing.

He seemed surprised to see her and tiredly raised a brow with a questioning look.

"You look like hell!" she said without preamble, "Are you feeling okay? Do you need something to eat?" She moved briskly to him and instantly reached for his wrist to feel his pulse... an old habit from her days of internship at the hospital. She barely had time to note that it seemed weak and thready; slightly more rapid than it ought to have been when he jerked his arm away from her with a sneer.

"I am perfectly fine, Lupin, and don't want or need your molly-coddling. What do you want?" he asked with sharp bitterness in his voice.

She flinched in surprise, but then steeled herself not to reveal that his brusque tone had hurt her, and instead said in cool tones, "I came to see you. My brother's here to collect his potion, and I thought I'd spare you his company by getting it for him."

He didn't meet her eye, but tilted his head towards the general store cabinet. "Top shelf, all the way to the left. Take it and go."

She waved her wand to retrieve the potion, as it was too high for her to reach. She turned to look back at him, wanting to say something, but he was far too lost in his own thoughts.

She had just reached the door when he called out to her, "Lupin... Rowena, thank you. It was a long night, all right? I have a lot on my mind right now."

She stopped and turned back to him, "Severus, why don't you try to get some rest at least? For that matter, why don't you teach Remus to make his potion himself? It might take more time in the short-run, but then you'd be free of the task. Or make him get it somewhere else? I'm sure they sell it in Diagon Alley."

He snorted in disgust and shook his head irritably, "It would take more time than I can spare to teach him to do it. The slightest mistake could render the potion ineffective or fatal. If I make it myself I know it's done properly."

She smiled at him then and nodded. "Thank you, Severus. For caring enough to make certain it's correct when you know no one else appreciates your effort."

"Bloody hell, Rowena!" he snarled, "Quit making me out to be some sort of damned hero, would you? I have enough to worry about without trying to live up to your ridiculous expectations! I have to work fairly closely with that monster you call a brother. It's in my best interest not to have him turn into a slavering werewolf at inopportune moments. It's nothing more than that.

"Now, I have work to do. Good day." And with that, he began to wave potion ingredients to him from various shelves and cabinets.

She left without another word, her own emotions vying between being angry, hurt, and worried for him. Something was seriously upsetting him and he wasn't about to willingly let her know what it was.

Back in her own Lab, Remus and Tonks were laughing happily together. When they saw Rowena they smiled but stopped their conversation.

"Your potion, Remus," she said handing it to him gently. She was still flustered from the altercation with Severus, and not in the mood to watch him flirt with his girlfriend, if that's what she was. Though a part of her did manage to be glad that he seemed to be happier than he had been the last time she had seen him. Smiling made him look much younger.

He held his nose and drank the potion at once, making a horrible face in the process. "Thanks, 'Wena," he said, slipping back into his childhood nickname for her, "I'll go wander around and bug Minerva or Albus or somebody while you girls work, okay?"

"NOT Severus, Remus," Rowena said warningly.

Remus laughed, "Don't worry little sis, I don't have a death wish! I'll be back later."

He closed the door quietly behind him as he left.

"Okay, then, Tonks, what do you have to show me?"

Many things, as it turned out. The Death Eaters were getting more creative. A blinding charm that permanently detached the retina. A scalding hex that shot jets of pure steam that would instantly cause third degree burns. A pulverizing curse that shattered whichever bone it was directed at instantly. A disintegration jinks that would simply destroy inanimate material. This wasn't so bad, Rowena thought at first; after all, it didn't work on living flesh. But then Tonks pointed out that the Death Eaters were directing it at broomsticks in flight and also directly at wands; neither of which was good to have turned to dust when you were using it.

Tonks could describe the effects and give a guesstimate of the incantations. But she couldn't cast any of them, which was an annoyance. Rowena liked to see the spells performed as a way of speeding up counter-spell research. If Severus ever stopped wallowing in whatever irritation was the flavor of the day, she would ask him to show her.

She talked easily with Tonks, who was pleasantly nice and easy to talk to, as she showed the Auror some of her past research and current equations. She was surprised to learn that Tonks really, really liked her brother; her surmise at them being dating if not lovers was not too far off the mark; and she found the whole thing pleasantly humorous.

The amusement quickly faded, however, when Tonks confided in her, "Rowena, I'm going to be going undercover real soon. There's a Death Eater in Azkaban right now that's on the verge of death. They're going to move her to a maximum-security ward in St. Mungos, and I'm going to assume her place. We're staging a breakout from the hospital... Snape is in on that part, though he doesn't know why they want to save her. Another thing to help his ruse with Voldemort, and also another inside source of information, you know?"

Rowena hissed slightly and shuddered at the name, and Tonks continued, "Oh, sorry. Anyway... I haven't told Remus yet. I think he's going to be a bit upset. I wondered if you had any advice...."

Rowena laughed then, and shook her head, "Yes, my advice is don't tell him, don't do it, or break off with him before you go, because he'll have kittens. Do you know anything about the past 20 years between him and me? That's what you're looking at if he finds out. I'm sorry.

"I don't know what to tell you. Remus and I were way over-protected as kids. That makes Remus's idea of love tainted—he thinks to love someone you have to keep them perfectly safe all the time, no matter what. I went to the other extreme of that and get really torqued off and more rebellious when someone tries to do that to me, so neither of us is great in the relationship department. You're in for a rough road, Tonks. And I don't mean just Remus... that particular subterfuge is incredibly dangerous. I don't know how you'll pull it off..."

"Well, I'm a good Legilimens and Occlumens. I'll be using the first, with Veritaserum to find out everything I can. We'll keep her in a secure location so I can keep coming back for questions. The rest, well, even Snape won't know the full of it. Voldemort doesn't like his people knowing who all are involved with him... so we'll be following that lead for a while.

"Anyway, thanks for the advice about Remus. If he's in a really foul mood here pretty soon, you'll know why." She sighed heavily and shook her head. "I really like him, but I've got to do my job, you know?"

Rowena smiled wistfully, "Yeah, I know."

"Well, anyway, I should let you get back to work on these. You can send the counters through Remus or Albus. See you around, Rowena," Tonks said, with a cheerful wave, and then she was gone.

Another smoldering note delivered by another demonic looking owl roused Snape from his dark reflections, by necessity. With a sigh, he silently stepped through the door connecting his lab to Rowena's in time to hear the tail end of Tonks's conversation.

So. That was why he'd been pegged by Albus to offer to arrange a "rescue". Damn. He wished he hadn't heard... and that Albus wasn't such a fool as to send another person into the dragon's den! When the Auror had left and Rowena had bent back over the notes on the desk he moved behind her.

Silent as a snake, he looked over her shoulder at the spells she had been given. "Would you like me to demonstrate?" he asked sardonically, as though he hadn't just been rude and unpleasant an hour before.

She shrieked and jumped; nearly falling off the tall stool she was sitting on. He put out an arm to steady her; his eyes boring into hers while the start had temporarily weakened her Occlumency defense. Yes, she was hurt and angry with him... well, why shouldn't she be? And yet what right did she have to expect anything less? He was a cold, heartless, evil git! Hadn't he been warning her of that since the start?

But beyond being hurt and angry with him, she was concerned for him. Bollocks. Her affection and compassion in that brief glance touched that long buried part of him that was still human, still a flesh and blood man, still wished for someone to care for him in spite of the fact that he was that cold, evil git.

She shielded herself almost at once—her weakness in her defenses was gradually improving over time, he noticed. She smiled softly at him—smiled at him when he deserved angry words and accusations, and handed him the notes.

"Sure, Severus, that would be really great."

He pushed the notes aside in instantly rising irritation. He didn't need them! Didn't she understand? Utter exhaustion made him more irritable even than usual, and her blind faith provoked him. He snarled at her in disgust.

"Rowena—I am a Death Eater. I don't need your notes," he said, his voice rising to almost a shout, "I AM A DEATH EATER. Now. Today. This moment. As we speak. How do I get through to you? I am not a 'former' Death Eater—there is no such thing! Once a Death Eater, the only release is death—either mine or the Dark Lord's. Yes, I am working against him, hoping to bring about his downfall and maybe achieve my own freedom in the process. But until then, I remain a Death Eater.

"I have been taught these spells at the hand of my Master. I am nothing but a slave, a puppet. Albus helps me, shields me when he can. The excuse of being a spy for on him from the Dark Lord's perspective saves me from having to participate in the worst of the 'games' of my colleagues.

"The Dark Lord believes that if I were to actively kill or torture while I served him, that Albus would know. The Dark Lord believes my Occlumency to be weak, and Albus's Legilimency to be strong. He believes that Albus would know what I had done if I were to be involved, and so he spares me from the worst of the unpleasantness. But I'm still there, Rowena. My mask, my cloak, my mark—it's all a part of me."

She sighed and shook her head. "Severus... why do you think you have to tell me these things? Do you think it matters to me? I don't believe you to be a Death Eater, even if you-know-who thinks you are his, even if you think you are. A Death Eater wouldn't have cared about the plight of one lone 3-year-old child. Nor would he worry about the effectiveness of the Wolfsbane potion for one of his most hated enemies. Nor would he worry about the heart and feelings of an infatuated woman who would easily give him whatever he asked without question..."

But anger was radiating from him again as she spoke and he was unbuttoning his left sleeve. With the angriest sneer she had ever yet seen on his face, he jerked his sleeve up with a growl and brandished it in her face. The pale skin was crisscrossed with old scars, probably from his childhood. But in the center of the inner forearm, dark red and ugly, marring the pale perfection of his flesh, was the hideous skull, the snake protruding grotesquely out of its mouth like some horrid travesty of a tongue.

"This is the mark of a Death Eater, Lupin!! Do you see? It's red now, but it burns black when the Dark Lord summons me! It is proof of my greatest shame, my greatest mistake!! I will pay for this Mark and the blood I've spilled in it's service for the rest of my life!! No one but a Death Eater wears this mark!! I AM A DEATH EATER!! You have got to accept that!" His voice was angry, though his rage and distress seemed almost beyond words.

But then she did something that both horrified him and touched him more deeply than any action any other human being had ever done towards him in his life. She kissed her fingertips, and then gently caressed her fingers over the mark, as though to place the kiss there.

"I do accept it, Severus. I accept everything about you. It was a mistake, yes, okay. But look how much you've done towards atoning for your mistake! Who besides you risks their very lives every day working against Him? Look at all the torment you face, again and again, and still you fight against him. You ARE good and brave and strong, Severus. You just don't believe that about yourself. But I believe it about you."

He stared at her a moment in stunned silence. What could he say to that? Willful self-deception it might be, but there was no arguing her sincerity. With a disbelieving shake of his head, he pulled her tightly into his arms. Not in passion, nor lust, but just simply pulled her into a crushing grip against his chest, burying his face in her hair, holding her tight against him. She wrapped her arms around him as well and returned the embrace. His breathing was erratic, not from desire or passion, but from the force of emotion.

His voice, when he next spoke, was haggard, "Rowena... I don't know how to comprehend this, your faith in me."

"Time, Severus. It will just take time."

He sighed heavily and kissed the top of her head. His anger seemed to have deflated completely. How could he hold onto it in the face of such unyielding faith? "Perhaps. I don't know if there's enough time in eternity to figure you out, Lupin. Or to be worthy of what you seem to want to bestow on me."

He stepped away and withdrew his dark wand, again running his hand tiredly through his hair. "Let me demonstrate these spells for you, while you make notes. We have been summoned for dinner at the Malfoys, under the pretense of introducing their son to his new Professor. We need to leave here at six."

Rowena shook her head and briskly put away the notes and covered the rat cages. "Fine. If we have to face the likes of the Malfoys at six, you are going to sleep, NOW. You don't look like you've slept all night, which hasn't done a thing for your usual charming personality."

He snorted, "Now you expect me to be "charming" as well as "good and brave and strong"? You don't want much, do you Lupin?"

She grinned and pushed him playfully toward the door to his lab and continued right to his quarters, "I don't want you to be a damn thing but your own normal snarky, irritable, grouchy, sarcastic self. But it would be best if we didn't add sleep-deprived to that list. Now. Do I have to make you drink a dreamless sleep potion that will surely leave you tired and befuddled for our dinner date? Or will you be a good boy and go to bed?"

He gave her a feral grin, feeling more at ease with her again, "Is that a proposition, Lupin?"

She laughed teasingly, "Oh, yeah, like in your present state that would be enjoyable for either of us. Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Are you challenging me? No, I did not. I hardly think that affects my functioning," he said with a brow raised in challenge.

Now it was her turn to raise a brow in return, though she was blushing brilliantly "I believe you were the one who wanted to wait... isn't that what you've said these past several weeks? On the other hand, I would be more than willing to join you in your nap, if you thought you could manage to SLEEP. I slept poorly last night myself."

"Hmm," he said, pretending to consider, "I believe you are correct, I do intend to wait on that. One thing is certain—it is never good to meet the Malfoys in anything less than top mental form. You need all your faculties sharp around Lucius."

He reached out as quickly and gracefully as a striking snake and picked her up easily. She squealed lightly but wrapped her arms around his neck. He carried her to his room. With a wave of his wand, he turned the covers down on the huge four-poster that seemed to be standard-Hogwarts-issue, and deposited her there gently.

"All right then, sleep it is. I've never "slept" with another human being in any sense. I admit to being curious as to whether it is as pleasant as everyone seems to imply," he said with a wry smile.

She laughed, a light-hearted sound that was almost a giggle. "It's more likely that we'll wake with cricks in our necks and more snarky than before."

"Possibly. I think I shall risk it. Now shut up and go to sleep, Lupin," he said with a growl.

However, his actions belied the tone and the words. He reached out and pulled her against him, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and she snuggled against him with a contented sigh, laying her head on his chest, her body warm and soft in his arms. He waved his wand to set an alarm ward to wake them—he was undeniably exhausted—and then he wrapped his other arm around her as well.

Who would have ever thought that he would be here like this? With an intelligent, attractive woman in his arms, experiencing the sheer basic comfort of not being alone. He couldn't ever remember feeling so contented.

Just for the moment, he forced himself to forget that he didn't deserve comfort or peace or happiness. In a shorter time than he would have thought possible, given the circumstances, he had fallen into a deep, comfortable sleep.

Next chapter coming soon. I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but I've fiddled with it for some time and can't quite pinpoint what I don't like. I think it is the near-hormonal-mood swing feel of Severus. Really nasty one moment, and then perhaps too quickly changes his mood. But I think he really would be feeling confused and wrong-footed with this whole thing... I just can't get it to come out "right". Your comments are welcome!