Fanfiction based in the world of Harry Potter, created by JKR. Her
characters are hers. Original characters are mine. Please see first
chapter for full disclaimers and description.
Tonks goes undercover.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Chapter 15: Snakes, Spies, and Werewolves
Early Monday morning found Rowena once again attempting to bury herself in her research. The large table was scattered with rolls and rolls of parchment, all covered in mathematical equations, symbols, and diagrams. Rowena's slim form was hunched over the desk scribbling madly, crossing out angrily, and then scratching some more. She had been annoyed to find that Severus seemed to have placed a silencing charm over their adjoining door so that no sound came to her from his lab, or perhaps he was already gone. Beethoven played softly in the background. The music and the scratching of her quill were the only sounds in the dungeon.
A sharp rap on her door startled her out of her deep concentration. She looked up to see her brother. Remus stood in the doorway, pale and wan, the faint lines on his face horribly pronounced, his eyes blood-shot as though he hadn't slept since she had seen him yesterday... which he probably hadn't.
She had a pretty good idea what this was about. She stifled a sigh of irritation and laid her quill aside. "Why don't you come sit down, brother? You look like hell."
He walked into the room with the air of a lost soul, almost stumbling his way to the four-legged stool opposite the one she was sitting on, and then placing his elbows on the work bench, his face into his hands. When he finally spoke, his voice was a harsh croak, "She told you what she's doing?"
"Yes."
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Support her. Let her go without guilting her or holding her back. She's an Auror, Remus. She's not a child."
His tortured face looked appealingly to her, begging her to tell him what he wanted to hear. "I've lost too many people in my life, Rowena. I can't lose her. I've only just found her! She doesn't care that I'm a werewolf! How can she do this?"
Rowena sighed and walked around the table to stand behind him, and gently rubbed his back and shoulders. "Remus, you don't know that you're going to lose her. It's dangerous, sure, but she's an Auror. She has to do this because she can—we all have to do whatever we can right now. Remus... honestly... you've got to stop trying to protect everyone you care about. It's stifling. Mom and Dad did it to us because they didn't know what else to do at the time. But it's not healthy, it's not normal. Be proud of her strength and her ability, support her. Let her do what she needs to do. Don't smother her. You'll never keep her that way."
Remus just leaned his head silently into his hands, his whole body rigid with tension under her gentle massage. He shook his head slightly, "It's too soon after Sirius, Rowena. James and Lily, dead, Peter worse than dead, now Sirius dead... what if she dies, too?"
Rowena sighed and wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head against his back, and simply hugging him, offering him what she could of her support. "I can't tell you she'll be safe, Remus. None of us are safe right now. You've got to find a way to live with your fear for her and your grief over lost friends and keep going. You're Gryffindor, remember? You've got that bravery thing going for you. Just think how much sweeter the happiness will be when this is all over, when all this fear is a bad memory, and we can live the 'happily ever after' with the people we care about, right?"
He released a great, shuddering sigh and turned around, hugging her back and nodding against her head. "You're going through the same thing right now, aren't you, Rowena? I'm sorry... it was selfish of me to come here... Snape's doing the same sort of thing. I suppose it leaves you worried a lot, too?"
With a wry smile she stepped away and conjured tea for them, bringing her stool around so she could sit closer to him as she poured the tea. "Worried? Me? Why should I worry? He vanishes at a moment's notice at the call of the burn on his arm, and returns via Portkey to the hospital wing, savagely beaten. And he, Dumbledore, and Poppy treat that as though it's a normal occurrence. What do I possibly have to worry about?"
Remus paled further and shook his head again. "Tonks knows all that... yet that's what she's going in to! She told me that she'll have an easier time of it because she's supposedly been in Azkaban for so long... they'll expect her to be forgetful and half mad, as well as physically weak. Plus, supposedly the fact that she was IN Azkaban to begin with will add to her favor with him."
Rowena stopped him. "Remus... don't tell me any more, okay?"
He looked at her in surprise and she shrugged. "Call me paranoid or melodramatic, but you-know-who knows about me. Severus is supposed to be "working" me for information and whatnot. But I am sort of afraid that the time might come when one of his other Death Eaters or someone will try to get information from me, maybe to test Severus's loyalty or something. I'd rather not know too much... you know what I mean? It's why I haven't asked to join your Order or any of that. My Occlumency's not that great. This way I can't tell what I don't know, right?"
"Bloody hell!" Remus stood so quickly that the stool he had been sitting on fell over with a loud crash, and he paced agitatedly about the room. "Rowena, this is enough! Honestly... Tonks has to do what she's doing, and I have to learn to accept that. But there is no reason for you to be getting so mixed up in all this! She's an Auror, you're not. You've got to get away from here. You could research anywhere! Go to America for a while, their magical community is always looking for new theories and all that."
Now it was her turn to sigh and bury her face in her hands. Would he never learn? Her voice rang out like the crack of a whip, "Remus Jonathan Lupin, shut up!"
And surprisingly, he did, stopping mid-stride to stare at her in silence.
"Remus, I'm not going to start this argument with you again. You are hurting and upset and not thinking clearly. You can't protect Tonks by smothering her and holding her to you. You can't protect me by pushing me away. You're a really great guy, Remus, with a good heart. But you can't be everyone's Knight Protector. Life is full of risks, especially now. We have to live each day, one day at a time, and find what enjoyment we can in the moment."
His hurt and anger gradually gave way to a slow look of dawning comprehension, as though somehow he had finally connected the dots to a complex puzzle.
"Like that old phrase about 'better to have loved and lost' or something like that, isn't it?" he said, bemusedly, "Or 'live each day to the fullest'?"
She smiled softly at him, "Yes, exactly like that. I wouldn't trade what I've had this summer with Severus for anything, even if he died tomorrow and I could have been spared the grief of his loss by not knowing him so well. And certainly not for some intangible thing like my 'safety'."
Remus actually offered her a faint smile at this, hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. "Love suits you, Rowena."
She sputtered angrily and pushed him away, "I am most certainly not in love, Remus! Don't be ridiculous."
He grinned wider and shook his head, "Okay, call it what you want. Even when you're angry you're glowing. Looks like love from where I'm standing. But what do I know? I think I'd better leave and go spend some time with Tonks before she has to go..."
He hugged her again and actually managed a chuckle at the mutinous look on her face before he strode briskly from the room.
"I am NOT in love with Severus!" She said, vehemently to the empty room. She wondered vaguely whom she was trying to convince, or why the thought of being in love with Severus upset her so much... but she squashed the ruminations vigorously and returned to her equations.
`````````````````````````````````````
He locked and sealed his dungeon lab behind him before setting off up the hall to speak with Albus, a large, heavy satchel over one shoulder. But when he turned from his door, he came face to face with Remus, obviously just leaving Rowena's lab. With an internal sigh and an external sneer, Snape's baritone voice greeted him, "Lupin. What a surprise. Have you convinced her to run away from the evil Potions Master yet?"
To his very great surprise, Remus smiled faintly and shook his head, "Nope. It looks like you're stuck with her. I actually came to talk to her about Tonks." His smile faded and he looked into the darker man's face with grave sincerity, "Watch out for her, Severus, if you can. Will you?"
Severus tried to rise to the challenge. Truly he did. What a perfect opportunity to cut Lupin down a piece. Who was he to presume that Severus even wanted to be 'stuck' with Rowena? Or to refer to it as being 'stuck'. And then to have the nerve to ask him for help in watching out for Tonks, as though he had any control over that issue?
Instead, all he managed was a rather tired smirk, and a shake of his head. "Sorry, Lupin. You'll have to worry about your own woman. I have enough trouble with mine. And for the record, I'm against Tonks going in there. I had no part in that decision whatever, and would have opposed it vehemently if given the opportunity."
"She said you weren't happy about it," Remus said with a sigh, and then he brightened, as though he had just realized what the other man had said—basically claiming Rowena as 'his' woman.
Remus actually managed another, warmer smile at the thought. Snape wouldn't have made it to his 'top ten' list of 'People to date my sister'. Bloody hell, he wouldn't have made it on the list at all if the truth were known. But since the guy was the ONLY person who ever made it to her own list, he decided to be happy for her, and make the effort to be nicer to Snape. Remus strode briskly along next to him, as Snape had not slowed his pace towards Dumbledore's office.
"It's hell, this, isn't it Severus? Trying to figure out women at our age?"
Severus scowled darkly at him a moment. At last he snorted derisively, "Your sister may welcome your prying into her private matters. You keep out of mine, Lupin." But then, almost as an after thought, he added, wryly, "I assure you I have endured far more unpleasant things."
Remus gave a small laugh, and nodded. "I suppose you have at that."
Upon reaching the main floor, they parted without another word. Remus left the building in search of Tonks, and Severus went to the stone gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office. He had time to muse at his own newfound tolerance for the werewolf, and laid all credit for that at Rowena's door. If not for her, he wouldn't have reason to attempt civility with the mutant.
"Pumpkin Pasties." The gargoyle sprang to life and moved aside. Snape stepped onto the moving spiral staircase, amusing himself slightly with wondering how Albus maintained his good health amidst his obsession with sweets.
The Headmaster was either anticipating his arrival, or just leaving himself to go elsewhere, as he was waiting at the top of the stairs when it stopped moving. "Ah, good morning, Severus. You are preparing to be gone a few days, I believe?"
"As you well know." His voice was sharp, his expression scowling and irritated. He thrust the heavy satchel into the older man's hands, "Here are the antidotes and directions for their use, for all the recent potions I've made for the Dark Lord."
His expression remained stoic and unreadable, yet there was almost an appealing, worried tone in his voice when he continued, "Albus, I have no idea where He intends to use them... some of those antidotes must be administered almost immediately to have any hope of working. I don't know how you'll manage when we don't even know where or when they'll be needed."
Albus accepted the satchel with ease, and then warmly clasped Severus on the shoulder, "Be careful, Severus. Don't worry about the potions. You've done the best you can, and we're on our guard now. Focus on what you need to do, and return safely. Term starts in six days and we need our Potions Master."
Severus snorted in disgust, nodded brusquely and turned to leave. But then he stopped. He looked back at the older wizard, his face expressionless, his fathomless black eyes piercing the bright blue of the other. Dumbledore gave a small smile and nod. "I'll look after them, Severus. Both of your girls, alright?"
Snape nodded again, and left, quickly lost to sight by the descending staircase.
`````````````````````````````````````````````
Rowena was restless and irritable all day Monday and Tuesday. As near as she could tell, Severus was not within the castle walls. Her research could not contain her thoughts nor diminish her worry.
Albus, however, quickly introduced a way to keep her mind at least partially occupied until she could hope to see Severus, when he would meet her to go to the hospital on Saturday. The new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor arrived Wednesday morning. From America. And Albus thought it would be a 'lovely' idea for Rowena to show him around.
"I don't need to tell you, Rowena, how hard it's been for me to fill the position. This particular young man has a strong resume in Defense, and has not even the smallest hint of Dark associations. Of course, in America, they haven't had to deal with our problems with Voldemort and things, but there are Dark Wizards everywhere. It would help me out tremendously if you would show him around the place a bit when he arrives. His quarters are in the same wing as yours, and I believe you know where the DADA classroom is?"
Rowena tried to smile and nodded politely. Dumbledore had done so much for her already. What could it hurt her to show the new professor around a bit? Still, her mind was so otherwise occupied that she didn't relish trying to be friendly and polite to a stranger when she was so worried. "Of course, Albus. Whatever I can do to help."
He smiled brightly at her, blue eyes twinkling, and squeezed her hand warmly. "I knew I could count on you, Rowena. Let's go to Hogsmeade Station and meet the fellow then, shall we?"
Albus Dumbledore had the appearance of great age, yet he walked the half- hour to Hogsmeade station with brisk energy, effortlessly. The scarlet train pulled into the station and many people moved on and off the train, though not nearly the crowds seen when students were arriving or leaving.
It was all Rowena could do to suppress a groan of horror when she saw the individual that was so painfully, obviously from the "States".
The man was not older than 40, though his skin was tanned to a golden, leathery brown of someone who worked in the sun. He was very broad- shouldered and muscular, at least six feet tall, though it was hard to tell because of the enormous hat he wore. Not a wizard's hat... a cowboy hat, gray with some sort of scaly-skinned animal band around the brim.
He had a face that was almost too perfect in it's symmetry with perfect teeth in a blindingly white smile. His hair that could be seen from under the hat was a thick, wavy dark brown. He was dressed in faded blue jeans, a very 'western' style shirt complete with shiny mother-of-pearl snaps, a thick belt with an even thicker buckle with an engraving of a horse on it, and.... Merlin help her... cowboy boots with SPURS. Muggle clothing. Nothing about this man suggested magic. He looked as though he might be ready to go rustle cattle right out of the pages of a stereotypical cowboy story, but she doubted heavily that he could so much as hold a wand.
Every head in the station turned to stare at him in open-mouthed wonder. Some with interest, some with derision, but none resisted the lure to stare. His boots tapped loudly on the wood of the platform, punctuated by the jingle of the spurs. His slightly bandy-legged walk brought him to Albus in short order, with a broad grin that seemed a permanent part of his features.
"Professor Dumbledore, sir. I'm right pleased to meet'cha in person at last. Howdy," he said, holding out his hand.
Sweet Merlin! Had the clown actually said "Howdy"? Rowena was torn between the desire to laugh hysterically and the equally ardent desire to be violently ill. Surely he couldn't be 'for real'. His lazy drawl and careless pronunciation of his words suggested southern United States, though she was no linguist to be certain.
Albus greeted him with his usual warm friendliness, though his very relaxed and casual greeting, for him, sounded almost rigid and formal in comparison to the language mutilation of the other man. "Dylan Howard. I am very grateful you have agreed to take the post. May I please introduce you to Professor Rowena Lupin? She is also teaching at the school this year, Magical Theory and Research."
She was forced to hide an involuntary laugh behind a small cough at this point. The Cowboy's name was "Dylan". It was almost too much. He took off his huge hat, apparently a show of respect, ran a thick-fingered hand through his wavy hair so it wouldn't be flattened from the hat, and then held his hand out to her as well. "Professor Lupin. Real nice to meet 'cha, ma'am." He was smiling at her, his hazel eyes frankly appraising. Oh, yes. Rowena had met THIS type before.
She hitched on her "bored polite" smile and took his offered hand. It was heavily callused and enormous compared to her own. "Charmed, Professor Howard," she said coolly.
Bloody Hell! Severus was going to LOVE this.
Dumbledore made arrangements for the man's luggage to be brought to the castle. Rowena was shocked to hear also of arrangements for boarding... no, it couldn't be... but yes... the cowboy must have his horse! In fact, the beast followed them docilely back to the castle after being unloaded from the cargo car of the train.
"This here's Jake," Dylan said by way of introduction. "He's my horse, but he's also my familiar. I know its odd and all, but back home I live out on the range mostly, so a horse familiar is right handy."
The animal did seem to regard them with benign intelligence as he spoke, and didn't seem to require any sort of tether or halter to follow the man.
Rowena walked in silence as Albus answered the other man's questions. Apparently he'd been sent quite a large brief in regards to the running of the school, and in spite of the laziness of his drawl, he seemed to be tolerably intelligent. At last the "official" conversation began to wind down, and Dylan was at liberty to make observations of his surroundings.
"I'm hopin' you won't take no offense or nothin', but you folks seem mighty old fashioned around here. I mean, back home, you can't tell wizards from muggles by lookin'. We all wear the same clothes and all. What's with the robes and hats and quills and parchment and stuff?"
Albus laughed gently, while Rowena tried not to look outraged. As though she would be caught dead in the type of indiscrete, immodest things that muggle women wore... "jeans" and "pants" that leave nothing to the imagination.
"Well, Dylan, I don't know if I can answer that." Dumbledore's voice was friendly, "I think the parchment is easier to create without using electricity, which doesn't work around magic. Our country is smaller, and we have a higher percentage of wizards over all, so the magic sometimes makes things go quite haywire. Same thing with the quills. Owls are everywhere, so getting a quill is quick and easy. Manufacturing the pens and paper that muggles use would require either electricity, or a great expenditure of magic. I think we just stick with what is easiest.
"As far as the clothing goes, I think that is a matter of preference. I'm afraid you will find the castle and our climate much colder than your home. Wizard's robes and cloaks are much warmer than their muggle counterparts. As well as having more convenient hiding places for wands and whatnot."
"Well, I ain't so sure that your old castle will be colder than the range at night in the winter. I'm sure I'll manage. I bought me some of them robes for teachin', though. No point in makin' myself stand out like a sore thumb, now, is there? I'm right lookin' forward to teachin' and all. I ain't had much doin' with kids for a long time, but I like kids well enough. All full of energy and excitement and all."
They had reached the castle at last. "Jake" the horse, was allowed to simply wander the grounds freely outside the building for the present. Hagrid would be making accommodations for the animal near the castle. Albus parted with them in the Entrance Hall. "I'm very sorry, Dylan, but I must attend to some business in my office. Rowena has agreed to show you around the castle, and introduce you to the other teachers. Please make yourself at home and come and see me with any questions at any time."
Rowena gestured with her hand, "If you will follow me this way, Professor Howard? I will show you your classroom, office, and quarters."
He flashed her a very toothy smile and scooped his hat off his head again, this time apparently intending to carry the damn thing. "I'd be right honored, Professor Lupin, ma'am, if you'd call me Dylan. I ain't much for formality."
She tried to suppress a sigh and eye-roll with a modicum of success, and nodded. "Thank you, Dylan. I am Rowena Lupin. Now, if you will follow me to the third floor, we will find your classroom, office, and quarters all on that level."
"Right'cha are ma'am. Is there a Mr. Lupin? Do the professors have families who live here?" he asked, looking at her rather appraisingly once again.
Oh, yes. She knew his 'type' very well. She was torn between dread and amusement at the thought of Severus's reaction to this Yankee clown when they met. "Yes, Dylan. There is a "Mr. Lupin." He is my brother. He does not live nor work here. Some of the professors who are married do have family quarters in the castle. Others live off the grounds and take it in shifts to do evening patrols and overnight duties." She used her 'bored polite' voice as she strolled along, pointing things out to him.
"You must be cautious of the stairwells. Some of them contain trick stairs. In fact, there are many areas of the castle that change regularly. We unfortunately have a resident poltergeist, and so some of the changes must be blamed upon him."
She took him over a very cursory tour of the main areas of the castle, refusing to allow him to draw her into more personal conversation, and coolly rebuffing all flirtation attempts... of which there were many. She also introduced him to Minerva, Filius, Poppy, Hagrid, and Argus Filch. At last she excused herself to return to her research, enormously thankful to get away from his twanging drawl and jingling spurs.
````````````````````````````````````````````
The building was dark and chill, in spite of the bright summer sun shining outside. It was always dark and chill—a side effect of being guarded by Dementors. This was the first time, however, that he had really noticed the draining effect of the tall hooded creatures. He had long since learned to ignore the reliving of his most horrific memories that insisted on playing in his head whenever they were near. He had relived them often enough on his own, that they were truly just a minor inconvenience.
Not for the first time, he had reason to be grateful for the concealment of his own hood and mask. He felt an overwhelming sense of... loss, which he simply could not explain. He at last realized that it was something akin to sadness, an emptying of hope from him. This was the other terrible effect of the Dementors.
But this horrible, draining sensation actually had a somewhat contrary effect on the silent man. By suddenly experiencing the loss of hope and happiness, he realized that he must have been genuinely experiencing those things... apparently for the first time ever in his life, or at least the first time in a very, very long time.
"Welcome, friend," spoke a high, cold voice from the center of the room. A skeletally thin form sat in a tall wing-backed chair as though it was a throne and himself the king. Stepping closer, it became apparent that the being in the chair was not human, at least not wholly so. His skin was paper-white, stretched thin and taught over the skull-like head. He had no nose, but mere slits for nostrils, and glaring, glowing cat-like red eyes.
"Do come forward, Severus."
The cloaked and masked form in the shadows near the door did not move, yet the figure in the chair laughed mirthlessly. "Do not fear, my friend. I would not betray your identity to anyone. I know you fear there is a traitor in our midst, and I must have you at Hogwarts. We are quite alone. Now come, Severus. Bring me my potions I have commanded from you, and then tell me of your plan to free Claire Lestrange."
The silent figure did step forward then, and bowed slightly. He set a large haversack on the floor near the chair, which clinked gently when set down. "Are you certain we won't be overheard here, Lord?"
"Of course, of course. Now. Speak."
````````````````````````````````````````````
Saturday took forever to arrive. Dylan had insisted on accompanying her and Minerva to the hospital Wednesday evening, which had grated horribly on her nerves. But worse, he had sought her out for someone to "jaw with a spell"... which she finally figured out meant he just wanted someone to talk with a while... several times a day. His presence also interfered with her visits to Katrina, and she was only able to see her twice that week, each time leaving the little girl disappointed that "her Severus" hadn't come to see her.
Three days of Dylan's acquaintance felt like an eternity. He was nice enough, and once she got over the prejudice of his lazy-sounding speech, she did find him reasonably well-versed on jinxes, hexes and curses. But he was simply incredibly annoying. He also seemed determined to flirt with her outrageously despite all of her cool rebuffs.
She stayed in her quarters all day Saturday, packing things for the children and feeling incredibly nervous and frightened. So many things could go wrong today... and if any of them did... If Tonks was caught, if Severus was caught, the slightest mistake could cost both their lives.
At one o'clock... two full hours before she dared hope to see Severus, a knock came at her door. Knowing it was Dylan, she simply called out to it. "I'm sorry. I can't speak with you today. I'm expecting someone and I have things to do this afternoon."
"That's hardly the welcome I expected after nearly a week of absence. Has the rational Ravenclaw finally come to her senses?" Severus's melodic baritone filled the room as he stepped inside, an eyebrow raised archly.
She stood instantly, mouth open wide in shock, her eyes flying to her face in surprise and elation. He looked terrible, and incredible. She was happy to see him there, whole and well and snarky as always, yet he looked as though he hadn't slept since she had last seen him. His hair was dirty and hung even more lankly than usual, and his pale skin was nearly transparent with fatigue.
With great self-control, she resisted the urge to through herself into his arms. Frankly, he looked so tired that she was afraid such a gesture would knock him off his feet, even if it were welcomed. But she did cross the room quickly to him. Still, she felt suddenly shy, as though a week's absence made her unsure of what behavior he would find acceptable.
"I didn't know it was you..."
"Indeed. Has someone been bothering you in my absence?" He had meant this to be a slightly teasing comment, but the look on her face and a moment of insight caused him to continue, "Let me guess. Albus's new professor, the American has arrived? What's wrong with this one aside from abysmal abuse of the spoken word? Is he a vampire? A Yeti?"
As he spoke, he reached out to her, needing to feel that she was real, that she still welcomed his touch. He caressed her face, stroking her cheek with his hand.
Her chocolate brown eyes poured into his fathomless black ones as she rubbed her cheek, catlike, against his hand. Somehow she managed to shield the bulk of her emotions from him... how had Remus realized she was in love with Severus before she knew it herself? Her heart was so full of it she thought it might burst. Yet she managed to grin and roll her eyes as she answered his question. "Worse. He's a cowboy."
He groaned in irritation and shook his head, "Disgusting." He pulled her close and stroked her lower lip with his thumb. Her lips parted and her tongue darted out to trace the path his thumb had made, and he was lost. He tangled his hand through the silk of her hair and kissed her hungrily. She returned his kiss with abandon, reveling in the iron-hard strength of his body against hers, his arms around her.
"I missed you, Severus," she said at last, speaking against his lips, not wanting to break the delicious contact.
A sharp tap on the door caused them to spring apart as though electrified, and the door swung open. Rowena had gotten out of the habit of sealing her quarters all the time, upon moving to Hogwarts... a habit she realized she was going to have to resume.
"Hey, Rowena, I thought maybe you'd let me take you on a little picnic with Jake this afternoon, seein' as how you've been so nice to show me around the place and all...." Dylan entered the room carrying a huge picnic basket and his hat, his ever-present smile firmly hitched onto his face, and fully attired in his 'cowboy' garb, not excluding the jangling spurs. His voice trailed off at the sight of her blushing face and the dark, angry man standing a few feet away from her.
"Oh, I'm beggin' your pardon, ma'am. I didn't know you had comp'ny. I'll just check back with you later then. Um... Rowena... is everythin' alright, honey?" He trailed off, uncertainly. He clearly didn't trust the looks of the dark stranger.
"Who in the bloody hell are you?" Severus demanded, his voice it's smooth silk of hidden anger. He scowled darkly at the other man. "Honey" indeed!
"Severus, this is Dylan Howard." Rowena jumped in before there could be any unpleasantness. She dreaded to say the next part, knowing as she did how much Severus wanted the position, "He's from America. He's the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor this year. Dylan, this is Professor Severus Snape. He's Potions Master here."
Comprehension dawned on his face, and the ubiquitous smile returned in full measure, "Howdy, Professor. I'm right pleased to meet'cha." Dylan stuck out his hand, which Severus did NOT take.
"Uh, right. Well, Rowena's told me a lot about'cha. I reckon from how she talks that there ain't no potion you can't make. That's right impressive... "he began to trail off uncomfortably, his perpetual smile dimming a bit as Severus continued to scowl, dark and silent, "Uh... well... I'll, uh, talk to you later about that picnic, then Rowena, alright?"
Snape stepped forward then, so that he was standing slightly in front of Rowena, and staring the 'cowboy' down. Though honestly, Dylan was several inches above Severus in height, and far more muscular. Still, the other man backed off slightly at the aggressive stance of the darker man. "Rowena will not be accompanying you on your 'picnic' today or any other. I think you had best leave."
At last the cowboy had something he could understand. A challenge to surmount. He squared his shoulders and looped a thumb through his belt, a slightly defiant look dimming the smile, "Now see here, Professor. I reckon that's for Rowena to decide."
But Rowena had stepped forwards and wrapped her hands around Severus's arm... partially in a gesture of support, and partly to keep him from hexing the other man, who really hadn't done anything wrong. Severus didn't look at her, but put his other hand over hers. Dylan didn't miss either gesture and looked shrewdly at Severus, as though weighing him, an almost challenging glance.
"Ah. I see. Well, ain't nobody told me she had a beau. I was just tryin' to be friendly. Well. I guess I'll be seein' both of you at the openin' feast tomorrow then," and with a nod, he replaced the enormous hat on his head and left the room.
Severus was silent and scowling, looking down at her where she stood still clinging to his arm. And then suddenly he grinned... a true, warm smile that completely transformed his face. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly. "So, Miss Lupin, ma'am, it seems you've got'cher self a beau," he drawled, in a remarkable impression of Dylan's accent.
She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hmmm. So it would seem." She rubbed her nose against his and kissed him tenderly again.
"Now I know you are genuinely mentally disturbed," he teased. "Only someone quite terrifyingly ill would voluntarily choose a scrawny git like me over your cowboy admirer."
She laughed again, "Yes, but if you sleep with your familiar, you don't smell like a horse."
Horrified, he looked at her, his brow raised in disbelief. "No. His familiar is a horse?"
"Yup. I reckon you'll be meetin' old Jake real soon. He's right useful," she replied, trying with much less success to mimic the cowboy's drawl.
He rolled his eyes and then pulled her with him to the couch where he sat holding her in his arms. He sighed and suddenly became serious again.
"Rowena, we have to talk and there's not much time." He sighed and ran a tired hand through his lifeless hair.
"Things have been very meticulously planned for this afternoon. You need do nothing but behave normally. I will escort you to the hospital as I have often done. I will leave the room for a bit part way through our visit, again as I have often done. What you must know is that when I appear to return to the room, it will not be me. It will be someone using a polyjuice potion.
"It is imperative that you continue to act as though it IS me. You must be prepared to cover if my double does something out of character. And you must find believable excuse to leave before he has been there an hour. Preferably early enough that you can get back to Hogwarts before the hour is over. Do you understand?"
She nodded, but her eyes betrayed her fear, "Who will be impersonating you? When will you return?"
"A member of the Order. If all goes well, I will be back before the feast begins tomorrow," he said briskly. His eyes were inscrutable as always, yet they bored into hers as though he were reading her very soul.
The unspoken words, the remainder of the thought, hung heavily in the air between them. There were only two options. If all went well, he would be back in time for the feast. If all did not go well, he would not be back at all. Ever.
Suddenly she desperately wanted to pour her heart out to him. To tell him that she loved him. Wanted to assure him again that she believed in him, believed in his goodness. She wanted to throw her arms around him and beg him not to go, to give up his dual role and stay safely hidden in Hogwarts with her. Of course she could not ask that... no more than Remus could ask her to give Severus up, or ask Tonks not to go.
Still, at least she wanted him to know that he was loved. Loved as wholly and completely as it was possible for her to love. Without reserve. Without doubts. Unconditionally.
Valiantly holding back tears, she laid a hand on his cheek, looking deeply into his eyes, "Severus..."
"Don't, Rowena." He interrupted her instantly, closing his own eyes as though pained, but kissed her softly to take the sting from his words. "Some things are better left unsaid. At least for the present."
She didn't argue, but merely wrapped her arms tightly around him and buried her face into his chest, fighting the fear that was threatening to overwhelm her. "Be safe, Severus. Come back to me."
"Indeed. I fully intend to do just that." He was surprised at how much truth there was in his words. He had never much cared before whether he lived or died in his work for the Order. His own instinct for self- preservation had served him well, of course, but he never had anything to inspire him to watch for his own personal safety. It was mostly Dumbledore's meticulous planning and the Dark Lord's arrogance that had kept him out of serious trouble this long.
And yet now he had something to look forward to. Someone to welcome him back. Someone concerned for his wellbeing. It seemed to him that there were a great many things he had underestimated in the realm of relationships. He still refused to consider the possibility of "love" or the implications of it, which is why he did not want to hear her say it... though he surmised that was what she had intended to do.
In contemplative silence, then, they sat together, holding tightly to one another as they ruminated in their own thoughts. At last Severus stood and helped her to her feet, into his arms, and kissed her once more. A world of desperation was in the kiss, and she returned it in full measure.
"Time to go, Rowena."
Her mouth was too dry, her throat too choked from holding back tears, for her to speak. She merely nodded, picked up her satchel of things for the children, and followed him silently out the door.
````````````````````````````````````````````
The Thestral ride was bittersweet, Severus's warm arms around her. He helped her gently off when they landed, and followed her silently inside. He had very little pleasure in this now, with Katrina at the Weasley's, and thoughts of her added to his brooding mood. He regretted not being able to see her again, to say goodbye, in case the unthinkable happened. He hadn't had thought to ask Rowena about her when they were alone, and it was not something he could discuss now.
He took his usual seat in the corner when they had reached the ward, and felt the pang of Katrina's absence even more as he looked at the bed she had slept in and the books he had read to her. He watched Rowena interact with the children without making any attempt to do so himself.
She was sitting, rocking a small infant in one arm while using the free hand to hold a book that she was reading to the older children, when he stood suddenly. "I am going out for some air, Rowena. Do not leave the ward. I will return later."
His eyes bored into hers, unreadable as always. He answered her small nod of acknowledgement with one of his own, and was gone.
She went through the rest of her visit mechanically. Helping with the evening meal and baths as though she were a robot set on auto pilot, her mind lost to all but thoughts of Severus and what he must be doing at that moment.
``````````````````````````````````````````````
Severus entered the small men's room near the security wing. He looked around thoroughly, until satisfied that it was empty, and then sealed the door. Immediately another man appeared, removing an invisibility cloak.
"Kingsley and Podmore are on guard duty. They've got Moody's other cloak. Everything's set."
"Very well. And Tonks?"
"Where you directed. I took her there with this cloak. She's already changed form."
Severus sighed and nodded. He plucked a hair from his own head and dropped it into a flask he had removed from his pocket. He passed this flask to the other man, and took the invisibility cloak.
Now was the time for last words. For emotional revelations or tender messages to give comfort to the survivors if the worst should happen. "Lupin...." He didn't know what to say. This man, his enemy for so many years, for so many reasons, yet also brother to the woman he had come to care about. And lover to the woman he was assisting into danger. Remus stood silent, pale and wan himself. "I haven't had time to see Katrina since taking her to the Weasleys. And Rowena... If something happens..."
Remus clasped Severus's hand in a moment of understanding, however temporary it might be. "I'll look after them, Severus."
"I will do what I can for Tonks."
"I know you will. I guess this is it, then. Good luck."
Snape nodded and drew the invisibility cloak around himself. Remus drank from the potion and waited for the transformation to be complete. He then opened the door wider than was actually necessary as he left the lavatory. He strode down the length of the security hallway, as far as visitors were allowed, attempting to mimic Snape's gliding walk. As he passed near a door that had two Auror's standing outside it at rigid attention, he sneezed spectacularly.
````````````````````````````````````````````
She was busily involved in putting the children to bed when the ward door opened, and Severus entered. No. Not Severus. Even had he not told her that much of the proceedings tonight, she would have known at once. The man in Snape's body displayed more emotion than Severus would have ever revealed. He had a dejected air that caused his shoulders to hunch, and instead of the impassive mask, his face was pale and drawn with tension. He would never betray that much emotion outwardly. She suddenly realized that she needed to get him out of here quickly. Even Mandy would notice these differences!
He went to the chair that Snape always occupied, and sat silently, pretending to engross himself in a book.
Rowena quickly and efficiently finished putting the children to bed and said goodnight to the nurse on duty, "Severus, I suppose we should leave a bit early tonight. Term starts tomorrow and I have things to finish up."
He stood fluidly, "Indeed. As do I," the deep baritone voice answered. She nodded and took his arm, and they went out to the courtyard and the waiting Thestral.
Rowena did not know who the person was in the guise of Severus. But she knew now why he had told her about that part of the plan. She had known from the moment she saw him reenter the ward that this person was not Severus. She would have been immediately afraid and possibly raised the alarm if she had not been prepared for it.
Still, if there was any doubt that he was not who he appeared to be, the lack of thrilling sensation when he touched her would have given all the proof she needed. It was Severus's body, his voice, even his clothing. But it was not Severus's arms around her as the Thestral took flight.
And once safely in the air, the tears she had withheld all day began to flow. She stemmed them upon landing, and walked sedately to the castle, to her quarters, her arm in his as she had done so often before. He even accompanied her inside and sealed the door as was Severus's habit.
Striding across to her living room, he threw himself onto the couch and buried his face in his hands, a person obviously in deep anguish. Which told her at last who it was. She sat next to him and wrapped her arms around him. "They'll be okay, Remus. They have to be."
He held her tightly, and soon the potion had worn off so that it was indeed Remus with her, and they sat, long into the night, comforting one another, with nothing they could do but wait.
`````````````````````````````````````
A hooded figure appeared suddenly in a dark patch of woods, supporting another similarly attired figure that seemed unable to stand on its own. A wand appeared in the hand of the taller figure, "Mobilicorpus." This figure then appeared to waft the second form gently before it, walking silently to a crumbling ruin standing deserted and alone in the depths of the woods.
He passed some unknown barrier, and suddenly the building was not a crumbling ruin, but a sound, if small stone structure several stories in height. Enormously tall cloaked beings glided along the area as though guarding. He did not stop, but went directly inside.
"Master. She is here." He magically directed the limp form to the floor at the feet of Lord Voldemort.
"Well done!" The snake-like man leaned over and pulled away her mask and hood to look at her. "What is her condition?"
"She is unconscious at present, but she has been having periods of lucidity. The Dementors might cause some relapse in her recovery, but she was already well enough that there was discussion of returning her to Azkaban. Her memory is a bit jumbled still, but does not seem to be damaged beyond repair."
Voldemort listened as the man talked, and then pulled up the left sleeve of the woman's robes. He hissed angrily. A great portion of her left arm was missing, horribly scarred as though someone had gouged the flesh away slowly with a blunt object. "What has happened here? Where is my Mark? Who did this?"
"She did, Master. In her madness, in Azkaban. It was what started the infection that nearly cost her life. When she felt the burn but could not respond, she dug it out with anything she could find."
"Pity. Well, I will have to find another way to summon her. And these?" He held up the woman's limp hand so that several rings glittered in the dim light from the fire.
"As near as I can tell, Master, they are merely adornments. They must have had some sentimental value, as there is a charm on them which continually alters their size so that they did not become lose, even in her extreme weight loss, and no one has been able to remove them. Short of amputating her fingers, of course. Do you wish them off?"
The Dark Lord shook his head in irritation. "Unnecessary. It will only decrease her usefulness to me. Sentimental fool. I believe she had a lover who was killed by Aurors. Likely they were gifts from him that she couldn't bear to part with. A weakness, to be sure, but one I will find use for. I wish to speak with her. Revive her."
====================
Sorry guys. Chapter ends here. You'll learn more of what old Voldie does in future chapters, but I can't have you glimpsing too far into his inner workings, now, can I? Next chapter starts the new Term. Dylan will continue to be annoying. Severus will continue to be snarky. And we will now get to have student interaction as well. This will remain primarily from the Rowena/Severus point of view, so you won't see much inside other classes or the goings on with the kids except in their interactions with the teachers.
Please review! Chapter 16 already well in progress.
Tonks goes undercover.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Chapter 15: Snakes, Spies, and Werewolves
Early Monday morning found Rowena once again attempting to bury herself in her research. The large table was scattered with rolls and rolls of parchment, all covered in mathematical equations, symbols, and diagrams. Rowena's slim form was hunched over the desk scribbling madly, crossing out angrily, and then scratching some more. She had been annoyed to find that Severus seemed to have placed a silencing charm over their adjoining door so that no sound came to her from his lab, or perhaps he was already gone. Beethoven played softly in the background. The music and the scratching of her quill were the only sounds in the dungeon.
A sharp rap on her door startled her out of her deep concentration. She looked up to see her brother. Remus stood in the doorway, pale and wan, the faint lines on his face horribly pronounced, his eyes blood-shot as though he hadn't slept since she had seen him yesterday... which he probably hadn't.
She had a pretty good idea what this was about. She stifled a sigh of irritation and laid her quill aside. "Why don't you come sit down, brother? You look like hell."
He walked into the room with the air of a lost soul, almost stumbling his way to the four-legged stool opposite the one she was sitting on, and then placing his elbows on the work bench, his face into his hands. When he finally spoke, his voice was a harsh croak, "She told you what she's doing?"
"Yes."
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Support her. Let her go without guilting her or holding her back. She's an Auror, Remus. She's not a child."
His tortured face looked appealingly to her, begging her to tell him what he wanted to hear. "I've lost too many people in my life, Rowena. I can't lose her. I've only just found her! She doesn't care that I'm a werewolf! How can she do this?"
Rowena sighed and walked around the table to stand behind him, and gently rubbed his back and shoulders. "Remus, you don't know that you're going to lose her. It's dangerous, sure, but she's an Auror. She has to do this because she can—we all have to do whatever we can right now. Remus... honestly... you've got to stop trying to protect everyone you care about. It's stifling. Mom and Dad did it to us because they didn't know what else to do at the time. But it's not healthy, it's not normal. Be proud of her strength and her ability, support her. Let her do what she needs to do. Don't smother her. You'll never keep her that way."
Remus just leaned his head silently into his hands, his whole body rigid with tension under her gentle massage. He shook his head slightly, "It's too soon after Sirius, Rowena. James and Lily, dead, Peter worse than dead, now Sirius dead... what if she dies, too?"
Rowena sighed and wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head against his back, and simply hugging him, offering him what she could of her support. "I can't tell you she'll be safe, Remus. None of us are safe right now. You've got to find a way to live with your fear for her and your grief over lost friends and keep going. You're Gryffindor, remember? You've got that bravery thing going for you. Just think how much sweeter the happiness will be when this is all over, when all this fear is a bad memory, and we can live the 'happily ever after' with the people we care about, right?"
He released a great, shuddering sigh and turned around, hugging her back and nodding against her head. "You're going through the same thing right now, aren't you, Rowena? I'm sorry... it was selfish of me to come here... Snape's doing the same sort of thing. I suppose it leaves you worried a lot, too?"
With a wry smile she stepped away and conjured tea for them, bringing her stool around so she could sit closer to him as she poured the tea. "Worried? Me? Why should I worry? He vanishes at a moment's notice at the call of the burn on his arm, and returns via Portkey to the hospital wing, savagely beaten. And he, Dumbledore, and Poppy treat that as though it's a normal occurrence. What do I possibly have to worry about?"
Remus paled further and shook his head again. "Tonks knows all that... yet that's what she's going in to! She told me that she'll have an easier time of it because she's supposedly been in Azkaban for so long... they'll expect her to be forgetful and half mad, as well as physically weak. Plus, supposedly the fact that she was IN Azkaban to begin with will add to her favor with him."
Rowena stopped him. "Remus... don't tell me any more, okay?"
He looked at her in surprise and she shrugged. "Call me paranoid or melodramatic, but you-know-who knows about me. Severus is supposed to be "working" me for information and whatnot. But I am sort of afraid that the time might come when one of his other Death Eaters or someone will try to get information from me, maybe to test Severus's loyalty or something. I'd rather not know too much... you know what I mean? It's why I haven't asked to join your Order or any of that. My Occlumency's not that great. This way I can't tell what I don't know, right?"
"Bloody hell!" Remus stood so quickly that the stool he had been sitting on fell over with a loud crash, and he paced agitatedly about the room. "Rowena, this is enough! Honestly... Tonks has to do what she's doing, and I have to learn to accept that. But there is no reason for you to be getting so mixed up in all this! She's an Auror, you're not. You've got to get away from here. You could research anywhere! Go to America for a while, their magical community is always looking for new theories and all that."
Now it was her turn to sigh and bury her face in her hands. Would he never learn? Her voice rang out like the crack of a whip, "Remus Jonathan Lupin, shut up!"
And surprisingly, he did, stopping mid-stride to stare at her in silence.
"Remus, I'm not going to start this argument with you again. You are hurting and upset and not thinking clearly. You can't protect Tonks by smothering her and holding her to you. You can't protect me by pushing me away. You're a really great guy, Remus, with a good heart. But you can't be everyone's Knight Protector. Life is full of risks, especially now. We have to live each day, one day at a time, and find what enjoyment we can in the moment."
His hurt and anger gradually gave way to a slow look of dawning comprehension, as though somehow he had finally connected the dots to a complex puzzle.
"Like that old phrase about 'better to have loved and lost' or something like that, isn't it?" he said, bemusedly, "Or 'live each day to the fullest'?"
She smiled softly at him, "Yes, exactly like that. I wouldn't trade what I've had this summer with Severus for anything, even if he died tomorrow and I could have been spared the grief of his loss by not knowing him so well. And certainly not for some intangible thing like my 'safety'."
Remus actually offered her a faint smile at this, hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. "Love suits you, Rowena."
She sputtered angrily and pushed him away, "I am most certainly not in love, Remus! Don't be ridiculous."
He grinned wider and shook his head, "Okay, call it what you want. Even when you're angry you're glowing. Looks like love from where I'm standing. But what do I know? I think I'd better leave and go spend some time with Tonks before she has to go..."
He hugged her again and actually managed a chuckle at the mutinous look on her face before he strode briskly from the room.
"I am NOT in love with Severus!" She said, vehemently to the empty room. She wondered vaguely whom she was trying to convince, or why the thought of being in love with Severus upset her so much... but she squashed the ruminations vigorously and returned to her equations.
`````````````````````````````````````
He locked and sealed his dungeon lab behind him before setting off up the hall to speak with Albus, a large, heavy satchel over one shoulder. But when he turned from his door, he came face to face with Remus, obviously just leaving Rowena's lab. With an internal sigh and an external sneer, Snape's baritone voice greeted him, "Lupin. What a surprise. Have you convinced her to run away from the evil Potions Master yet?"
To his very great surprise, Remus smiled faintly and shook his head, "Nope. It looks like you're stuck with her. I actually came to talk to her about Tonks." His smile faded and he looked into the darker man's face with grave sincerity, "Watch out for her, Severus, if you can. Will you?"
Severus tried to rise to the challenge. Truly he did. What a perfect opportunity to cut Lupin down a piece. Who was he to presume that Severus even wanted to be 'stuck' with Rowena? Or to refer to it as being 'stuck'. And then to have the nerve to ask him for help in watching out for Tonks, as though he had any control over that issue?
Instead, all he managed was a rather tired smirk, and a shake of his head. "Sorry, Lupin. You'll have to worry about your own woman. I have enough trouble with mine. And for the record, I'm against Tonks going in there. I had no part in that decision whatever, and would have opposed it vehemently if given the opportunity."
"She said you weren't happy about it," Remus said with a sigh, and then he brightened, as though he had just realized what the other man had said—basically claiming Rowena as 'his' woman.
Remus actually managed another, warmer smile at the thought. Snape wouldn't have made it to his 'top ten' list of 'People to date my sister'. Bloody hell, he wouldn't have made it on the list at all if the truth were known. But since the guy was the ONLY person who ever made it to her own list, he decided to be happy for her, and make the effort to be nicer to Snape. Remus strode briskly along next to him, as Snape had not slowed his pace towards Dumbledore's office.
"It's hell, this, isn't it Severus? Trying to figure out women at our age?"
Severus scowled darkly at him a moment. At last he snorted derisively, "Your sister may welcome your prying into her private matters. You keep out of mine, Lupin." But then, almost as an after thought, he added, wryly, "I assure you I have endured far more unpleasant things."
Remus gave a small laugh, and nodded. "I suppose you have at that."
Upon reaching the main floor, they parted without another word. Remus left the building in search of Tonks, and Severus went to the stone gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office. He had time to muse at his own newfound tolerance for the werewolf, and laid all credit for that at Rowena's door. If not for her, he wouldn't have reason to attempt civility with the mutant.
"Pumpkin Pasties." The gargoyle sprang to life and moved aside. Snape stepped onto the moving spiral staircase, amusing himself slightly with wondering how Albus maintained his good health amidst his obsession with sweets.
The Headmaster was either anticipating his arrival, or just leaving himself to go elsewhere, as he was waiting at the top of the stairs when it stopped moving. "Ah, good morning, Severus. You are preparing to be gone a few days, I believe?"
"As you well know." His voice was sharp, his expression scowling and irritated. He thrust the heavy satchel into the older man's hands, "Here are the antidotes and directions for their use, for all the recent potions I've made for the Dark Lord."
His expression remained stoic and unreadable, yet there was almost an appealing, worried tone in his voice when he continued, "Albus, I have no idea where He intends to use them... some of those antidotes must be administered almost immediately to have any hope of working. I don't know how you'll manage when we don't even know where or when they'll be needed."
Albus accepted the satchel with ease, and then warmly clasped Severus on the shoulder, "Be careful, Severus. Don't worry about the potions. You've done the best you can, and we're on our guard now. Focus on what you need to do, and return safely. Term starts in six days and we need our Potions Master."
Severus snorted in disgust, nodded brusquely and turned to leave. But then he stopped. He looked back at the older wizard, his face expressionless, his fathomless black eyes piercing the bright blue of the other. Dumbledore gave a small smile and nod. "I'll look after them, Severus. Both of your girls, alright?"
Snape nodded again, and left, quickly lost to sight by the descending staircase.
`````````````````````````````````````````````
Rowena was restless and irritable all day Monday and Tuesday. As near as she could tell, Severus was not within the castle walls. Her research could not contain her thoughts nor diminish her worry.
Albus, however, quickly introduced a way to keep her mind at least partially occupied until she could hope to see Severus, when he would meet her to go to the hospital on Saturday. The new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor arrived Wednesday morning. From America. And Albus thought it would be a 'lovely' idea for Rowena to show him around.
"I don't need to tell you, Rowena, how hard it's been for me to fill the position. This particular young man has a strong resume in Defense, and has not even the smallest hint of Dark associations. Of course, in America, they haven't had to deal with our problems with Voldemort and things, but there are Dark Wizards everywhere. It would help me out tremendously if you would show him around the place a bit when he arrives. His quarters are in the same wing as yours, and I believe you know where the DADA classroom is?"
Rowena tried to smile and nodded politely. Dumbledore had done so much for her already. What could it hurt her to show the new professor around a bit? Still, her mind was so otherwise occupied that she didn't relish trying to be friendly and polite to a stranger when she was so worried. "Of course, Albus. Whatever I can do to help."
He smiled brightly at her, blue eyes twinkling, and squeezed her hand warmly. "I knew I could count on you, Rowena. Let's go to Hogsmeade Station and meet the fellow then, shall we?"
Albus Dumbledore had the appearance of great age, yet he walked the half- hour to Hogsmeade station with brisk energy, effortlessly. The scarlet train pulled into the station and many people moved on and off the train, though not nearly the crowds seen when students were arriving or leaving.
It was all Rowena could do to suppress a groan of horror when she saw the individual that was so painfully, obviously from the "States".
The man was not older than 40, though his skin was tanned to a golden, leathery brown of someone who worked in the sun. He was very broad- shouldered and muscular, at least six feet tall, though it was hard to tell because of the enormous hat he wore. Not a wizard's hat... a cowboy hat, gray with some sort of scaly-skinned animal band around the brim.
He had a face that was almost too perfect in it's symmetry with perfect teeth in a blindingly white smile. His hair that could be seen from under the hat was a thick, wavy dark brown. He was dressed in faded blue jeans, a very 'western' style shirt complete with shiny mother-of-pearl snaps, a thick belt with an even thicker buckle with an engraving of a horse on it, and.... Merlin help her... cowboy boots with SPURS. Muggle clothing. Nothing about this man suggested magic. He looked as though he might be ready to go rustle cattle right out of the pages of a stereotypical cowboy story, but she doubted heavily that he could so much as hold a wand.
Every head in the station turned to stare at him in open-mouthed wonder. Some with interest, some with derision, but none resisted the lure to stare. His boots tapped loudly on the wood of the platform, punctuated by the jingle of the spurs. His slightly bandy-legged walk brought him to Albus in short order, with a broad grin that seemed a permanent part of his features.
"Professor Dumbledore, sir. I'm right pleased to meet'cha in person at last. Howdy," he said, holding out his hand.
Sweet Merlin! Had the clown actually said "Howdy"? Rowena was torn between the desire to laugh hysterically and the equally ardent desire to be violently ill. Surely he couldn't be 'for real'. His lazy drawl and careless pronunciation of his words suggested southern United States, though she was no linguist to be certain.
Albus greeted him with his usual warm friendliness, though his very relaxed and casual greeting, for him, sounded almost rigid and formal in comparison to the language mutilation of the other man. "Dylan Howard. I am very grateful you have agreed to take the post. May I please introduce you to Professor Rowena Lupin? She is also teaching at the school this year, Magical Theory and Research."
She was forced to hide an involuntary laugh behind a small cough at this point. The Cowboy's name was "Dylan". It was almost too much. He took off his huge hat, apparently a show of respect, ran a thick-fingered hand through his wavy hair so it wouldn't be flattened from the hat, and then held his hand out to her as well. "Professor Lupin. Real nice to meet 'cha, ma'am." He was smiling at her, his hazel eyes frankly appraising. Oh, yes. Rowena had met THIS type before.
She hitched on her "bored polite" smile and took his offered hand. It was heavily callused and enormous compared to her own. "Charmed, Professor Howard," she said coolly.
Bloody Hell! Severus was going to LOVE this.
Dumbledore made arrangements for the man's luggage to be brought to the castle. Rowena was shocked to hear also of arrangements for boarding... no, it couldn't be... but yes... the cowboy must have his horse! In fact, the beast followed them docilely back to the castle after being unloaded from the cargo car of the train.
"This here's Jake," Dylan said by way of introduction. "He's my horse, but he's also my familiar. I know its odd and all, but back home I live out on the range mostly, so a horse familiar is right handy."
The animal did seem to regard them with benign intelligence as he spoke, and didn't seem to require any sort of tether or halter to follow the man.
Rowena walked in silence as Albus answered the other man's questions. Apparently he'd been sent quite a large brief in regards to the running of the school, and in spite of the laziness of his drawl, he seemed to be tolerably intelligent. At last the "official" conversation began to wind down, and Dylan was at liberty to make observations of his surroundings.
"I'm hopin' you won't take no offense or nothin', but you folks seem mighty old fashioned around here. I mean, back home, you can't tell wizards from muggles by lookin'. We all wear the same clothes and all. What's with the robes and hats and quills and parchment and stuff?"
Albus laughed gently, while Rowena tried not to look outraged. As though she would be caught dead in the type of indiscrete, immodest things that muggle women wore... "jeans" and "pants" that leave nothing to the imagination.
"Well, Dylan, I don't know if I can answer that." Dumbledore's voice was friendly, "I think the parchment is easier to create without using electricity, which doesn't work around magic. Our country is smaller, and we have a higher percentage of wizards over all, so the magic sometimes makes things go quite haywire. Same thing with the quills. Owls are everywhere, so getting a quill is quick and easy. Manufacturing the pens and paper that muggles use would require either electricity, or a great expenditure of magic. I think we just stick with what is easiest.
"As far as the clothing goes, I think that is a matter of preference. I'm afraid you will find the castle and our climate much colder than your home. Wizard's robes and cloaks are much warmer than their muggle counterparts. As well as having more convenient hiding places for wands and whatnot."
"Well, I ain't so sure that your old castle will be colder than the range at night in the winter. I'm sure I'll manage. I bought me some of them robes for teachin', though. No point in makin' myself stand out like a sore thumb, now, is there? I'm right lookin' forward to teachin' and all. I ain't had much doin' with kids for a long time, but I like kids well enough. All full of energy and excitement and all."
They had reached the castle at last. "Jake" the horse, was allowed to simply wander the grounds freely outside the building for the present. Hagrid would be making accommodations for the animal near the castle. Albus parted with them in the Entrance Hall. "I'm very sorry, Dylan, but I must attend to some business in my office. Rowena has agreed to show you around the castle, and introduce you to the other teachers. Please make yourself at home and come and see me with any questions at any time."
Rowena gestured with her hand, "If you will follow me this way, Professor Howard? I will show you your classroom, office, and quarters."
He flashed her a very toothy smile and scooped his hat off his head again, this time apparently intending to carry the damn thing. "I'd be right honored, Professor Lupin, ma'am, if you'd call me Dylan. I ain't much for formality."
She tried to suppress a sigh and eye-roll with a modicum of success, and nodded. "Thank you, Dylan. I am Rowena Lupin. Now, if you will follow me to the third floor, we will find your classroom, office, and quarters all on that level."
"Right'cha are ma'am. Is there a Mr. Lupin? Do the professors have families who live here?" he asked, looking at her rather appraisingly once again.
Oh, yes. She knew his 'type' very well. She was torn between dread and amusement at the thought of Severus's reaction to this Yankee clown when they met. "Yes, Dylan. There is a "Mr. Lupin." He is my brother. He does not live nor work here. Some of the professors who are married do have family quarters in the castle. Others live off the grounds and take it in shifts to do evening patrols and overnight duties." She used her 'bored polite' voice as she strolled along, pointing things out to him.
"You must be cautious of the stairwells. Some of them contain trick stairs. In fact, there are many areas of the castle that change regularly. We unfortunately have a resident poltergeist, and so some of the changes must be blamed upon him."
She took him over a very cursory tour of the main areas of the castle, refusing to allow him to draw her into more personal conversation, and coolly rebuffing all flirtation attempts... of which there were many. She also introduced him to Minerva, Filius, Poppy, Hagrid, and Argus Filch. At last she excused herself to return to her research, enormously thankful to get away from his twanging drawl and jingling spurs.
````````````````````````````````````````````
The building was dark and chill, in spite of the bright summer sun shining outside. It was always dark and chill—a side effect of being guarded by Dementors. This was the first time, however, that he had really noticed the draining effect of the tall hooded creatures. He had long since learned to ignore the reliving of his most horrific memories that insisted on playing in his head whenever they were near. He had relived them often enough on his own, that they were truly just a minor inconvenience.
Not for the first time, he had reason to be grateful for the concealment of his own hood and mask. He felt an overwhelming sense of... loss, which he simply could not explain. He at last realized that it was something akin to sadness, an emptying of hope from him. This was the other terrible effect of the Dementors.
But this horrible, draining sensation actually had a somewhat contrary effect on the silent man. By suddenly experiencing the loss of hope and happiness, he realized that he must have been genuinely experiencing those things... apparently for the first time ever in his life, or at least the first time in a very, very long time.
"Welcome, friend," spoke a high, cold voice from the center of the room. A skeletally thin form sat in a tall wing-backed chair as though it was a throne and himself the king. Stepping closer, it became apparent that the being in the chair was not human, at least not wholly so. His skin was paper-white, stretched thin and taught over the skull-like head. He had no nose, but mere slits for nostrils, and glaring, glowing cat-like red eyes.
"Do come forward, Severus."
The cloaked and masked form in the shadows near the door did not move, yet the figure in the chair laughed mirthlessly. "Do not fear, my friend. I would not betray your identity to anyone. I know you fear there is a traitor in our midst, and I must have you at Hogwarts. We are quite alone. Now come, Severus. Bring me my potions I have commanded from you, and then tell me of your plan to free Claire Lestrange."
The silent figure did step forward then, and bowed slightly. He set a large haversack on the floor near the chair, which clinked gently when set down. "Are you certain we won't be overheard here, Lord?"
"Of course, of course. Now. Speak."
````````````````````````````````````````````
Saturday took forever to arrive. Dylan had insisted on accompanying her and Minerva to the hospital Wednesday evening, which had grated horribly on her nerves. But worse, he had sought her out for someone to "jaw with a spell"... which she finally figured out meant he just wanted someone to talk with a while... several times a day. His presence also interfered with her visits to Katrina, and she was only able to see her twice that week, each time leaving the little girl disappointed that "her Severus" hadn't come to see her.
Three days of Dylan's acquaintance felt like an eternity. He was nice enough, and once she got over the prejudice of his lazy-sounding speech, she did find him reasonably well-versed on jinxes, hexes and curses. But he was simply incredibly annoying. He also seemed determined to flirt with her outrageously despite all of her cool rebuffs.
She stayed in her quarters all day Saturday, packing things for the children and feeling incredibly nervous and frightened. So many things could go wrong today... and if any of them did... If Tonks was caught, if Severus was caught, the slightest mistake could cost both their lives.
At one o'clock... two full hours before she dared hope to see Severus, a knock came at her door. Knowing it was Dylan, she simply called out to it. "I'm sorry. I can't speak with you today. I'm expecting someone and I have things to do this afternoon."
"That's hardly the welcome I expected after nearly a week of absence. Has the rational Ravenclaw finally come to her senses?" Severus's melodic baritone filled the room as he stepped inside, an eyebrow raised archly.
She stood instantly, mouth open wide in shock, her eyes flying to her face in surprise and elation. He looked terrible, and incredible. She was happy to see him there, whole and well and snarky as always, yet he looked as though he hadn't slept since she had last seen him. His hair was dirty and hung even more lankly than usual, and his pale skin was nearly transparent with fatigue.
With great self-control, she resisted the urge to through herself into his arms. Frankly, he looked so tired that she was afraid such a gesture would knock him off his feet, even if it were welcomed. But she did cross the room quickly to him. Still, she felt suddenly shy, as though a week's absence made her unsure of what behavior he would find acceptable.
"I didn't know it was you..."
"Indeed. Has someone been bothering you in my absence?" He had meant this to be a slightly teasing comment, but the look on her face and a moment of insight caused him to continue, "Let me guess. Albus's new professor, the American has arrived? What's wrong with this one aside from abysmal abuse of the spoken word? Is he a vampire? A Yeti?"
As he spoke, he reached out to her, needing to feel that she was real, that she still welcomed his touch. He caressed her face, stroking her cheek with his hand.
Her chocolate brown eyes poured into his fathomless black ones as she rubbed her cheek, catlike, against his hand. Somehow she managed to shield the bulk of her emotions from him... how had Remus realized she was in love with Severus before she knew it herself? Her heart was so full of it she thought it might burst. Yet she managed to grin and roll her eyes as she answered his question. "Worse. He's a cowboy."
He groaned in irritation and shook his head, "Disgusting." He pulled her close and stroked her lower lip with his thumb. Her lips parted and her tongue darted out to trace the path his thumb had made, and he was lost. He tangled his hand through the silk of her hair and kissed her hungrily. She returned his kiss with abandon, reveling in the iron-hard strength of his body against hers, his arms around her.
"I missed you, Severus," she said at last, speaking against his lips, not wanting to break the delicious contact.
A sharp tap on the door caused them to spring apart as though electrified, and the door swung open. Rowena had gotten out of the habit of sealing her quarters all the time, upon moving to Hogwarts... a habit she realized she was going to have to resume.
"Hey, Rowena, I thought maybe you'd let me take you on a little picnic with Jake this afternoon, seein' as how you've been so nice to show me around the place and all...." Dylan entered the room carrying a huge picnic basket and his hat, his ever-present smile firmly hitched onto his face, and fully attired in his 'cowboy' garb, not excluding the jangling spurs. His voice trailed off at the sight of her blushing face and the dark, angry man standing a few feet away from her.
"Oh, I'm beggin' your pardon, ma'am. I didn't know you had comp'ny. I'll just check back with you later then. Um... Rowena... is everythin' alright, honey?" He trailed off, uncertainly. He clearly didn't trust the looks of the dark stranger.
"Who in the bloody hell are you?" Severus demanded, his voice it's smooth silk of hidden anger. He scowled darkly at the other man. "Honey" indeed!
"Severus, this is Dylan Howard." Rowena jumped in before there could be any unpleasantness. She dreaded to say the next part, knowing as she did how much Severus wanted the position, "He's from America. He's the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor this year. Dylan, this is Professor Severus Snape. He's Potions Master here."
Comprehension dawned on his face, and the ubiquitous smile returned in full measure, "Howdy, Professor. I'm right pleased to meet'cha." Dylan stuck out his hand, which Severus did NOT take.
"Uh, right. Well, Rowena's told me a lot about'cha. I reckon from how she talks that there ain't no potion you can't make. That's right impressive... "he began to trail off uncomfortably, his perpetual smile dimming a bit as Severus continued to scowl, dark and silent, "Uh... well... I'll, uh, talk to you later about that picnic, then Rowena, alright?"
Snape stepped forward then, so that he was standing slightly in front of Rowena, and staring the 'cowboy' down. Though honestly, Dylan was several inches above Severus in height, and far more muscular. Still, the other man backed off slightly at the aggressive stance of the darker man. "Rowena will not be accompanying you on your 'picnic' today or any other. I think you had best leave."
At last the cowboy had something he could understand. A challenge to surmount. He squared his shoulders and looped a thumb through his belt, a slightly defiant look dimming the smile, "Now see here, Professor. I reckon that's for Rowena to decide."
But Rowena had stepped forwards and wrapped her hands around Severus's arm... partially in a gesture of support, and partly to keep him from hexing the other man, who really hadn't done anything wrong. Severus didn't look at her, but put his other hand over hers. Dylan didn't miss either gesture and looked shrewdly at Severus, as though weighing him, an almost challenging glance.
"Ah. I see. Well, ain't nobody told me she had a beau. I was just tryin' to be friendly. Well. I guess I'll be seein' both of you at the openin' feast tomorrow then," and with a nod, he replaced the enormous hat on his head and left the room.
Severus was silent and scowling, looking down at her where she stood still clinging to his arm. And then suddenly he grinned... a true, warm smile that completely transformed his face. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly. "So, Miss Lupin, ma'am, it seems you've got'cher self a beau," he drawled, in a remarkable impression of Dylan's accent.
She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hmmm. So it would seem." She rubbed her nose against his and kissed him tenderly again.
"Now I know you are genuinely mentally disturbed," he teased. "Only someone quite terrifyingly ill would voluntarily choose a scrawny git like me over your cowboy admirer."
She laughed again, "Yes, but if you sleep with your familiar, you don't smell like a horse."
Horrified, he looked at her, his brow raised in disbelief. "No. His familiar is a horse?"
"Yup. I reckon you'll be meetin' old Jake real soon. He's right useful," she replied, trying with much less success to mimic the cowboy's drawl.
He rolled his eyes and then pulled her with him to the couch where he sat holding her in his arms. He sighed and suddenly became serious again.
"Rowena, we have to talk and there's not much time." He sighed and ran a tired hand through his lifeless hair.
"Things have been very meticulously planned for this afternoon. You need do nothing but behave normally. I will escort you to the hospital as I have often done. I will leave the room for a bit part way through our visit, again as I have often done. What you must know is that when I appear to return to the room, it will not be me. It will be someone using a polyjuice potion.
"It is imperative that you continue to act as though it IS me. You must be prepared to cover if my double does something out of character. And you must find believable excuse to leave before he has been there an hour. Preferably early enough that you can get back to Hogwarts before the hour is over. Do you understand?"
She nodded, but her eyes betrayed her fear, "Who will be impersonating you? When will you return?"
"A member of the Order. If all goes well, I will be back before the feast begins tomorrow," he said briskly. His eyes were inscrutable as always, yet they bored into hers as though he were reading her very soul.
The unspoken words, the remainder of the thought, hung heavily in the air between them. There were only two options. If all went well, he would be back in time for the feast. If all did not go well, he would not be back at all. Ever.
Suddenly she desperately wanted to pour her heart out to him. To tell him that she loved him. Wanted to assure him again that she believed in him, believed in his goodness. She wanted to throw her arms around him and beg him not to go, to give up his dual role and stay safely hidden in Hogwarts with her. Of course she could not ask that... no more than Remus could ask her to give Severus up, or ask Tonks not to go.
Still, at least she wanted him to know that he was loved. Loved as wholly and completely as it was possible for her to love. Without reserve. Without doubts. Unconditionally.
Valiantly holding back tears, she laid a hand on his cheek, looking deeply into his eyes, "Severus..."
"Don't, Rowena." He interrupted her instantly, closing his own eyes as though pained, but kissed her softly to take the sting from his words. "Some things are better left unsaid. At least for the present."
She didn't argue, but merely wrapped her arms tightly around him and buried her face into his chest, fighting the fear that was threatening to overwhelm her. "Be safe, Severus. Come back to me."
"Indeed. I fully intend to do just that." He was surprised at how much truth there was in his words. He had never much cared before whether he lived or died in his work for the Order. His own instinct for self- preservation had served him well, of course, but he never had anything to inspire him to watch for his own personal safety. It was mostly Dumbledore's meticulous planning and the Dark Lord's arrogance that had kept him out of serious trouble this long.
And yet now he had something to look forward to. Someone to welcome him back. Someone concerned for his wellbeing. It seemed to him that there were a great many things he had underestimated in the realm of relationships. He still refused to consider the possibility of "love" or the implications of it, which is why he did not want to hear her say it... though he surmised that was what she had intended to do.
In contemplative silence, then, they sat together, holding tightly to one another as they ruminated in their own thoughts. At last Severus stood and helped her to her feet, into his arms, and kissed her once more. A world of desperation was in the kiss, and she returned it in full measure.
"Time to go, Rowena."
Her mouth was too dry, her throat too choked from holding back tears, for her to speak. She merely nodded, picked up her satchel of things for the children, and followed him silently out the door.
````````````````````````````````````````````
The Thestral ride was bittersweet, Severus's warm arms around her. He helped her gently off when they landed, and followed her silently inside. He had very little pleasure in this now, with Katrina at the Weasley's, and thoughts of her added to his brooding mood. He regretted not being able to see her again, to say goodbye, in case the unthinkable happened. He hadn't had thought to ask Rowena about her when they were alone, and it was not something he could discuss now.
He took his usual seat in the corner when they had reached the ward, and felt the pang of Katrina's absence even more as he looked at the bed she had slept in and the books he had read to her. He watched Rowena interact with the children without making any attempt to do so himself.
She was sitting, rocking a small infant in one arm while using the free hand to hold a book that she was reading to the older children, when he stood suddenly. "I am going out for some air, Rowena. Do not leave the ward. I will return later."
His eyes bored into hers, unreadable as always. He answered her small nod of acknowledgement with one of his own, and was gone.
She went through the rest of her visit mechanically. Helping with the evening meal and baths as though she were a robot set on auto pilot, her mind lost to all but thoughts of Severus and what he must be doing at that moment.
``````````````````````````````````````````````
Severus entered the small men's room near the security wing. He looked around thoroughly, until satisfied that it was empty, and then sealed the door. Immediately another man appeared, removing an invisibility cloak.
"Kingsley and Podmore are on guard duty. They've got Moody's other cloak. Everything's set."
"Very well. And Tonks?"
"Where you directed. I took her there with this cloak. She's already changed form."
Severus sighed and nodded. He plucked a hair from his own head and dropped it into a flask he had removed from his pocket. He passed this flask to the other man, and took the invisibility cloak.
Now was the time for last words. For emotional revelations or tender messages to give comfort to the survivors if the worst should happen. "Lupin...." He didn't know what to say. This man, his enemy for so many years, for so many reasons, yet also brother to the woman he had come to care about. And lover to the woman he was assisting into danger. Remus stood silent, pale and wan himself. "I haven't had time to see Katrina since taking her to the Weasleys. And Rowena... If something happens..."
Remus clasped Severus's hand in a moment of understanding, however temporary it might be. "I'll look after them, Severus."
"I will do what I can for Tonks."
"I know you will. I guess this is it, then. Good luck."
Snape nodded and drew the invisibility cloak around himself. Remus drank from the potion and waited for the transformation to be complete. He then opened the door wider than was actually necessary as he left the lavatory. He strode down the length of the security hallway, as far as visitors were allowed, attempting to mimic Snape's gliding walk. As he passed near a door that had two Auror's standing outside it at rigid attention, he sneezed spectacularly.
````````````````````````````````````````````
She was busily involved in putting the children to bed when the ward door opened, and Severus entered. No. Not Severus. Even had he not told her that much of the proceedings tonight, she would have known at once. The man in Snape's body displayed more emotion than Severus would have ever revealed. He had a dejected air that caused his shoulders to hunch, and instead of the impassive mask, his face was pale and drawn with tension. He would never betray that much emotion outwardly. She suddenly realized that she needed to get him out of here quickly. Even Mandy would notice these differences!
He went to the chair that Snape always occupied, and sat silently, pretending to engross himself in a book.
Rowena quickly and efficiently finished putting the children to bed and said goodnight to the nurse on duty, "Severus, I suppose we should leave a bit early tonight. Term starts tomorrow and I have things to finish up."
He stood fluidly, "Indeed. As do I," the deep baritone voice answered. She nodded and took his arm, and they went out to the courtyard and the waiting Thestral.
Rowena did not know who the person was in the guise of Severus. But she knew now why he had told her about that part of the plan. She had known from the moment she saw him reenter the ward that this person was not Severus. She would have been immediately afraid and possibly raised the alarm if she had not been prepared for it.
Still, if there was any doubt that he was not who he appeared to be, the lack of thrilling sensation when he touched her would have given all the proof she needed. It was Severus's body, his voice, even his clothing. But it was not Severus's arms around her as the Thestral took flight.
And once safely in the air, the tears she had withheld all day began to flow. She stemmed them upon landing, and walked sedately to the castle, to her quarters, her arm in his as she had done so often before. He even accompanied her inside and sealed the door as was Severus's habit.
Striding across to her living room, he threw himself onto the couch and buried his face in his hands, a person obviously in deep anguish. Which told her at last who it was. She sat next to him and wrapped her arms around him. "They'll be okay, Remus. They have to be."
He held her tightly, and soon the potion had worn off so that it was indeed Remus with her, and they sat, long into the night, comforting one another, with nothing they could do but wait.
`````````````````````````````````````
A hooded figure appeared suddenly in a dark patch of woods, supporting another similarly attired figure that seemed unable to stand on its own. A wand appeared in the hand of the taller figure, "Mobilicorpus." This figure then appeared to waft the second form gently before it, walking silently to a crumbling ruin standing deserted and alone in the depths of the woods.
He passed some unknown barrier, and suddenly the building was not a crumbling ruin, but a sound, if small stone structure several stories in height. Enormously tall cloaked beings glided along the area as though guarding. He did not stop, but went directly inside.
"Master. She is here." He magically directed the limp form to the floor at the feet of Lord Voldemort.
"Well done!" The snake-like man leaned over and pulled away her mask and hood to look at her. "What is her condition?"
"She is unconscious at present, but she has been having periods of lucidity. The Dementors might cause some relapse in her recovery, but she was already well enough that there was discussion of returning her to Azkaban. Her memory is a bit jumbled still, but does not seem to be damaged beyond repair."
Voldemort listened as the man talked, and then pulled up the left sleeve of the woman's robes. He hissed angrily. A great portion of her left arm was missing, horribly scarred as though someone had gouged the flesh away slowly with a blunt object. "What has happened here? Where is my Mark? Who did this?"
"She did, Master. In her madness, in Azkaban. It was what started the infection that nearly cost her life. When she felt the burn but could not respond, she dug it out with anything she could find."
"Pity. Well, I will have to find another way to summon her. And these?" He held up the woman's limp hand so that several rings glittered in the dim light from the fire.
"As near as I can tell, Master, they are merely adornments. They must have had some sentimental value, as there is a charm on them which continually alters their size so that they did not become lose, even in her extreme weight loss, and no one has been able to remove them. Short of amputating her fingers, of course. Do you wish them off?"
The Dark Lord shook his head in irritation. "Unnecessary. It will only decrease her usefulness to me. Sentimental fool. I believe she had a lover who was killed by Aurors. Likely they were gifts from him that she couldn't bear to part with. A weakness, to be sure, but one I will find use for. I wish to speak with her. Revive her."
====================
Sorry guys. Chapter ends here. You'll learn more of what old Voldie does in future chapters, but I can't have you glimpsing too far into his inner workings, now, can I? Next chapter starts the new Term. Dylan will continue to be annoying. Severus will continue to be snarky. And we will now get to have student interaction as well. This will remain primarily from the Rowena/Severus point of view, so you won't see much inside other classes or the goings on with the kids except in their interactions with the teachers.
Please review! Chapter 16 already well in progress.