AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hey there! I loved this series so much, & I was looking forward to writing a fan fiction for it. Violet, Klaus, & Sunny Baudelaire aren't going to encounter anymore good luck than they have in the series. Anyway, enjoy & let me know what you think! R&R is an essential food group.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own A Series of Unfortunate Events, and I don't know Lemony Snicket.

SUMMARY: Violet and Klaus located their sister Sunny in the Mortmain Mountains, but they didn't locate their parents, and they lost Quigley Quagmire. What's even worse is Count Olaf escaped again and is still at large. Mr. Poe sends them to live with a co-worker of his named Ms. Rodane. But Olaf is once again (even with Madam Lulu dead, having discovered her being a fake) a step ahead of them, and ends up showing himself again in another ludicrous disguise that no one can see through. Can the Baudelaires save themselves again?

Chapter One: The Desolate Drive

If you enjoy stories about beautiful princesses and handsome princes who get married and live happily ever after, I suggest you stop reading this and go find your princess book. The events in this story will not be about beautiful princesses or handsome princes, vast kingdoms or elegant kings and queens, and you can bet your bottom dollar that it will not end happily ever after. For the story I write now tells the adverse tale of the three Baudelaire children Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, and the unfortunate events that follow them everywhere they go.

Now, these three children certainly do not deserve to lead such miserable lives. They are clever, polite, and obedient children, a gift for any guardian. It just so happens, however, that bad things happen to them, and the first event that turned their lives upside down was that despondent – a word here which means 'unhappy and downcast' – day at the beach when a banker named Mr. Poe (who had a bad cough) delivered the terrible news that their parents had died in a fire that burned their mansion to the ground.

Since that dreadful day, the lives of the young Baudelaires took a very unlucky turn. They have been on the run from notorious villain by the name of Count Olaf, who was the children's first guardian after their parents died and who apparently would stop at nothing to snatch the enormous fortune the Baudelaire parents left behind. Unfortunately, neither Mr. Poe nor anyone else was much help against this villain, because he followed them to every home they found themselves in, disguising himself every time and fooling every adult involved.

He killed their second guardian, a man named Montgomery Montgomery (or Uncle Monty, to them). He also disposed of their Aunt Josephine over Lake Lachrymose, and forced them to live with all sorts of wicked people. They lived in a boarding school with horrid conditions, worked in a lumber mill, and lived with Count Olaf's own girlfriend, Esmé Squalor and her fake husband. And as the Baudelaires rode down Dreary Drive, it did not look as though their situation was about to improve, as you and I know it would not.

"I know you three have been through many an ordeal," Mr. Poe said, then paused to cough into his handkerchief, "but I'm sure you'll find your new home quite pleasant."

"I do hope so, Mr. Poe," Violet said quietly.

"Your new guardian is a co-worked and close friend of mine. I do believe you'll find her quite suitable."

"Posiley!" Sunny said, which meant something along the lines of, "I'm not so sure! We've had so much bad luck with guardians."

"I know we have, Sunny," Klaus whispered to his younger sister, "but maybe this time it will be different."

"I don't see how," Violet said sadly.

"I'm tired of being shoved from home to home," Klaus confided.

"So am I, but what else can we do? We've been through much worse. Maybe Ms. Rodane will have some tools I can use for inventions," Violet said.

"And maybe she'll have a nice library that I can read through."

"Brigert!" Sunny said, with probably meant, "And maybe she'll have some things I might like to bite."

"We're here. 5234 Dreary Dr. is where my dear friend Barbara Rodane lives," Mr. Poe spoke up, and then coughed into his handkerchief before opening each of the children's doors.

Of course the Baudelaire orphans would like to imagine that their circumstances would improve and their parents would be found and their lives would return to normal. But they also knew that wishing, hoping, and imagining did not necessarily make things so, and it was with the familiar nervous feeling that the Baudelaires got out of the black car Mr. Poe had gotten and walked behind him to the door of 5234 Dreary Drive.

"Are these the delightful children you were telling me about?" Ms. Rodane asked in a falsely-sweet voice.

"Yes Barbara, they are. These are the Baudelaires, and I'd like you to take especially good care of them. I am in charge of their affairs after all."

"Yes, I'm aware of that Mr. Poe. Well, come along Baudelaires, we have a lot to do."

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny didn't like the sound of that, simply because whenever they had guardians where they imagined their situation would get better, it did not. With Count Olaf, of course, he did nothing but torture the children with chores, and he even struck Klaus across the face. When they lived at Lucky Smells Lumbermill, they did grueling – a word here which means 'hard and demanding' – work over trees and other types of wood. So it was with sighs and heavy hearts that the Baudelaire children followed their new guardian into her house and prepare to do whatever work they had to do.

Upon entering Ms. Rodane's house, the first thing the Baudelaires noticed was that it wasn't extraordinarily large, but it wasn't extraordinarily small either. It was sizeable, with three separate rooms for all three children. It was more or less like living in Uncle Monty's house – there was room on Violet's wall to tack up pictures of her inventions-in-progress, there was a small shelf in Klaus's room with books from the local library, and surprisingly there were some satisfyingly hard toys in Sunny's room for her to bite.

"You'll be okay from here, Baudelaires," Mr. Poe said and tipped his hat to them.

"But Mr. Poe, what about Count Olaf? He hasn't been captured yet, has he?" Violet asked.

"Well no, but he can't possibly find you here. I've given Barbara a full description of Olaf, and she'll know if he shows up. Good day to you."

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny did not like the sound of this either. It was routine for Mr. Poe to shove them at their guardian, assure them that Count Olaf would never find them, and that he would be brought to justice, but Mr. Poe was always wrong. The word routine here means 'always turned out that Count Olaf showed up with a wicked scheme to steal their fortune,' so the Baudelaires didn't hold out much hope.

"Well Baudelaires, welcome to your new home. I have heard of your dreadful situation, and I'm fully prepared to provide you a wonderful place to live."

"I'm happy to hear that," Violet spoke up.

"Each of you may have your own room. I believe you like to read, Klaus?"

"Yes Ms. Rodane, I do."

"Then I'm sure you'd like this room here. It has a small collection from a nearby bookstore. There is also a library a few blocks down that you're welcome to visit with your siblings whenever you'd like."

The middle Baudelaire smiled at Ms. Rodane after she told him of her reading material and the local library.

"And my dear Violet, I do believe you are an inventor?"

"Yes ma'am, I am."

"Then I'm confident you'll like my tool shed in the backyard. It isn't the largest tool shed you'll find, but you should still find it enjoyable. You can also work in your room; I made space in one of the bedrooms."

"Thank you very much," Violet replied politely. She smiled at the prospect of inventing for leisure once more, instead of having to develop something hastily to get them out of trouble.

"And lovely Sunny, I believe you have four unusually sharp teeth you like to bite hard things with?"

"Did," Sunny answered.

"What our sister means is, as an infant she liked to bite things with her sharp teeth, and she still might like to. But her new specialty is cooking. Well...as expert as a child of her age can be in the kitchen."

"Oh...well then I'm sure you'll like your room...and the kitchen as well. I bought the hardest toys and things I could find that were suitable for babies."

"We're very grateful for all you're doing for us, Ms. Rodane," Violet said.

"You're quite welcome. Based on the information Mr. Poe gave me, you three have had a lot to deal with since your parents died."

"We have," Klaus said.

"Well your worries are over. You'll be happy and safe from Count Olaf here."

"Ms. Rodane, you should know that Count Olaf always dresses is disguise when he tries to steal our fortune. We have to be on the lookout."

"Yes, yes, my dear Violet, we will. Now, are you all ready for dinner?"

"Yes. I'm sure Klaus and I will be fine with what you're cooking, but can Sunny have something small and hard?"

"Would a raw carrot be okay?"

"A raw carrot would be perfect," Violet said, experiencing a nasty bout of déjà vu.

When the Baudelaires lived with Uncle Monty, he had been just as good a guardian as Ms. Rodane was turning out to be. But as we know, the Baudelaire orphans lead very unpleasant lives, and only a short while after they had begun living with Uncle Monty he was murdered by none other than Count Olaf, and the children were foisted onto yet another guardian. When the children went to their own rooms after dinner to examine and settle into them, they hoped and hoped some more that this time and this guardian would be different, but we both know that the Baudelaires do not encounter very much luck in their lives, and we also know that hoping and wishing for something may not necessarily make it so, and things might have been going well with them now, but it would not remain that way as you and I both know.