Fanfiction based in the world of Harry Potter, created by JKR. Her
characters are hers. Original characters are mine. Please see first
chapter for full disclaimers and description. A few short paragraphs of
graphic descriptions of Death Eater crimes, warning!
Thank you to my Beta, Elaine!
Chapter 21: Baby-Steps Towards Healing
The soft 'whoosh' that usually signaled Severus's arrival in the secret room in the Hospital wing at Hogwarts was instead a rather undignified, muffled 'thud', followed by a low moan of pain. Rowena got up off of the bed at once, pulling Katrina with her so as not to cause Severus any further discomfort. The burns had to be severe to account for the moisture on his robes, and she could only imagine how excruciating the pain must be.
Poppy was there waiting, her face anxious, but her manner brisk and professional as she went to him immediately. Rowena sat in a chair next to the bed holding Katrina, who was already nearly asleep in her arms. It was still several hours before dawn, yet well past midnight.
"Alright, Severus. Up. Shirt off, robes off. No time to be shy. C'mon, boy, you've lost too much fluid volume to dawdle about, hurry up, hurry up," Madam Pomfrey scolded as she began to withdraw potions, bandages and cleansing solutions from her cabinet.
Rowena laid Katrina in the chair and helped Severus sit on the edge of the bed. Very gingerly she helped him with the buttons of his shirt and robes. It was a mark of how badly he was injured that he allowed the assistance. She had done a fair job of healing his hands on site, but the fingers were still sore and stiff, moving clumsily as he fumbled with the buttons. The pain relieving charms she had used had long since worn off and he no longer had the benefit of adrenaline to suppress his awareness of the pain. His breathing came in sharp gasps, his dark eyes clouded in his discomfort.
His entire back was horribly burned. In some areas it was pink and oozing where blistered flesh had peeled away against his shirt. In other areas it was burned black and dead. A small portion across his left shoulder blade was burnt so deeply that white bone could be seen glistening among the angry red and black flesh. Rowena was horrified at the extent of the injury, and could tell by the decrease in the nurse's 'tut-tuttings' that she was also surprised at their severity.
At last he sat at the edge of the bed clad in nothing but his under shorts. His knees and shins were lightly burned where he had braced himself climbing up burning debris to get to the second floor, as were portions of his arms, but the most severe injury was unquestionably his back.
Poppy began to work in her brisk, no-nonsense fashion. Rowena assisted with the pain relieving charms so that she could feel she was of some use. He merely sat, still and silent, only the occasional change in his breathing and tightening of his muscles betraying his pain. The nurse had him lean against the over-bed table so that she had free access to the wounds. The disinfectant sizzled and smoked as she daubed it on with clinical efficiency.
"I can fix this up, Severus. Most of it will be fine by morning," the nurse explained as she worked, "But here over your scapula where the flesh is completely gone... that's going to require some regenerating potions. And the dressings will have to be changed at least three times a day—more if they become wet or drain-through. Otherwise you're looking at infection. You'll need to have someone else take your classes the first few days next week at the very least...."
"No," he said sharply, through gritted teeth.
"Don't argue with me boy, you're here for five days at least, and I won't hear another word..."
"No. I have an errand later today that will not be delayed," he said again, with equal determination as hers. "I will come and you can play with your bandages as often as you like, but I will not sit in this ward like an invalid."
Poppy just clucked her tongue and said something about "the Headmaster" and continued her work.
Rowena then remembered the blood loss, and drew attention to it, "Poppy, he's lost a lot of blood, too. Do you have a blood replenishing potion?"
"Nonsense, child; burns don't bleed," Poppy said, distractedly. But to assure herself, she did some diagnostic spells as well.
"Severus!" she scolded, when she learned the truth of the matter. "How on earth did you lose so much blood?"
"I haven't lost any blood, woman. Maybe I've just become anemic," he said acidly.
"Anemic my hat! What have you been doing? You can't be keeping things like this a secret. I'll be having words with Albus about you. Anemic indeed," she muttered as she went back to her potions stores.
"Blood replenishing potion. Drink it, and then put making more on the top of your to-do list when you are released from here—this is my last dose," she said imperiously as she thrust it in his hand.
He shook his head and thrust it away, "I haven't got time to make more. It takes far too long to mature. I am incredibly busy at the moment. Keep it for the Quidditch idiots who are far more likely to need it. I am fine."
Poppy and Rowena exchanged worried looks, but Severus was getting more and more irritable as his condition improved. They decided not to argue further at the moment. However, Poppy would allow no argument over the flesh-regenerating potion. She watched him with a hawk-like gaze to ensure he actually drank it. When she had finished all she could do, she left him in Rowena's charge. The Weasleys had arrived and she needed to go and begin tending to their injuries.
His hands and lighter wounds were completely healed and large, clean white bandages covered several areas of his upper back. Rowena went to his quarters and brought him a very loose nightshirt that wouldn't rub against his bandages. At last he settled irritably in the bed, lying on his side to protect his back. Rowena picked up Katrina and sat in the chair next to his bed, holding the child tightly, laying her cheek against the golden curls.
"Lupin, go to bed. I'm fine," he said irritably.
"I know you are," she said looking at him wistfully. "I thought I'd lost you tonight...I almost did lose you... both of you. I just need to be with you right now. Are you going to make me leave?"
He looked at her and at the tiny child on her lap and gave a wry smile. "No. Of course not; you can't sit up all night without sleep. Come here."
He reached his wand from the nightstand and transfigured the bed to be larger. Drawing the covers down, he grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the bed with him. She smiled tenderly and settled Katrina's sleeping form between them. In short order they were wrapped together in the mutual reassuring comfort of each other.
The sun was pouring brightly through the small window when Rowena woke. Katrina was asleep on her chest, and Severus was lying on his side, his arm draped protectively over both her and Katrina. Rowena smiled softly as she looked at him and snuggled closer into the warmth of his arms. He woke when she stirred and caught her gaze with his fathomless black eyes.
Moody's words still echoed in his head... "Your girls"... "Your family". Somehow everything had changed inside him since the moment the werewolf first communicated the attack. Maybe from the moment Albus had first shown him the empty black box two weeks ago.
He realized that while he still didn't feel worthy of their trust and affections, he no longer felt compelled to drive them away from him. No, instead he felt an overpowering determination to somehow BECOME worthy. This was an amazing thing... to be cared for and depended upon, to be trusted implicitly and loved unconditionally. He damn well intended to EARN it.
He leaned up on his elbow and slowly claimed her lips with his, careful not to disturb the sleeping child. He poured every bit of tenderness he could express into the kiss, gently stroking her lips with his, probing with his tongue until he found hers, caressing and tasting.
When he pulled back to look at her, tears were running silently down her face. He gently stroked the tears from her face, raised a brow and said sardonically, "That was not quite the reaction I had anticipated."
She tried to smile through her tears but instead simply wrapped her arm around him, encompassing both him and Katrina in her hug as she began to cry in earnest against his chest. He enfolded her into his arms and simply held her until the wave of tears had passed.
"I was so scared, Severus. I thought you had died, that I had lost you. I was just so scared!" she said when she at last found her voice.
"Shhhh," he said gently, rubbing his chin against the top of her head, "Rowena, it's over. I'm fine. Katrina's fine. Everything is going to be okay."
The thing that surprised him the most was not to hear himself say those words, but to find that he actually believed them. At this particular moment, with Rowena warm and soft in his arms and Katrina sleeping peacefully between them, he had never felt surer of anything in his life. Somehow, he was determined to make sure that everything really would be 'okay'.
Two hours later, however, he was in a towering rage. Rowena had left the room to check on the Weasleys and to bring him clean clothing to wear. Several Order members were coming to discuss what had occurred and its implications. But that interfering woman had taken his wand when she left! Correction—she had taken BOTH his wands, effectively making it impossible for him to leave the room. Poppy had warded it against his exit, and without a wand he could not drop the wards.
When she returned with fresh robes, she left Katrina with Molly. He was pacing the small space like a caged tiger.
"Lupin, give me my wand. NOW," he said in his dangerous silken tones.
She placed the bundle of robes in his hands and stood on tip-toe to kiss him gently, "No."
"Rowena, I have things I need to do. Things that will not wait," he insisted through nearly clenched teeth.
"They will have to wait. Poppy said five days. I doubt very much she'll contain you that long, but I think a full twenty-four hours is not too much to ask. Albus and the others will visit you here. Now, what can I order for you to eat?"
He threw the robes onto the bed and grabbed her shoulders to make her look at him, "Rowena, I have to see Lucius Malfoy—TODAY. It will not wait, I tell you. This is not a joking matter."
"Oh, well if that's your worry, then sit down and be a good patient, Severus. We apparently had a reporter in our midst last night at the Burrow. Lucius is coming here sometime this evening to visit you—he sent me an Owl," she said, tossing him a copy of The Daily Prophet.
On the front page were several pictures from the night before. The Dark Mark above the flaming house; Severus next to a hysterical Rowena and doubting Moody; pictures of him going into the house; and even a picture of him kneeling beside Katrina's cot after pulling her out of the flames, Rowena at his side.
It was all accompanied by a full, quite exaggerated story by one Rita Skeeter, complete with the juicy rumors of the 'mysterious fiancée' of the solitary Hogwarts Potions Master. According to the story, he rescued ALL the inhabitants of the house from the fire, not just Katrina. The hint was present throughout that the child was not an orphan as had been suggested, but a secret love-child between said professor and the mysterious woman. All in all, it read like a rather sleazy tabloid story than an actual news piece.
Severus groaned as he threw the paper aside after reading the article, "Potter and company are going to have a field day with that! Very well, if Lucius is indeed coming here, I need to retrieve a package for him out of my lab. I still insist that you give me my wand at once."
"No. I'll get your package for you, but no wand," she said patiently.
It was perhaps quite lucky that Poppy came in at that moment to change his bandages.
Remus was among the first to visit that day. He wasn't actually there to see Severus, but rather to check on Rowena and the little girl. He looked drawn and tired as he always did after his transformations. But worry over Tonks had worn on him lately as well and an even heavier burden had settled on him over the course of the night.
Severus was sitting on the edge of his bed using the over-bed table as a desk of sorts, looking through files and information that Albus had brought in earlier. Rowena sat in a recliner next to the bed, and Remus sat in a chair near Rowena, though trying to maintain a distance from Severus. Katrina was currently with Molly Weasley.
After a short bit of 'small talk', Rowena delved right to the heart of the matter, "Remus, what's really bothering you today? I mean, aside from everything,"she said with a wistful smile.
Remus sighed and ran a hand tiredly through his hair. "Last night... Rowena, last night I killed three people. I mean, they were Death Eaters and after what they had done they deserved it... I'm not really sorry I did it... but it's a strange feeling. Yesterday I was just a guy who happened to have this problem once a month. I sort of had the dubious distinction of being perhaps the only living werewolf who had never injured another human being. Today I'm a killer. I'm surprised how much it bothers me."
Severus looked up from his work with a brow raised incredulously. This man, who might have been his own would-be-murderer years ago if Black's schemes had succeeded, was genuinely distressed about killing three Death Eaters.
"Which death bothers you, Lupin?" Snape asked tiredly, "Baddock's? He was particularly fond of killing Muggle women in the advanced stages of pregnancy. He carried a rather long knife, you see, and he would cut the abdomen and extract the fetus—generally developed enough to be born alive. That's actually not a terribly fatal wound for the woman at first. He would yank out the entire uterus in the process to ensure the woman bled to death eventually, but not before she watched him kill the infant. There are certain dark magic spells that require fetal brain tissue. There are more humane ways to acquire the tissue, of course, though they all require the death of the fetus, but those aren't nearly so entertaining."
He paused, giving Remus chance to absorb what he had said. "Good God! That's sick!" Remus exclaimed, looking rather green in the face.
"Indeed, but then Death Eaters aren't known for their sanity or compassion," Snape said sardonically. He continued then in his detailing of the Death Eaters Remus had killed.
"Pucey was far less subtle. He merely liked anything that was as bloody as he could make it and didn't care how long his victims lived in the process. He tended to merely slit Muggle throats, though if he could do an entire family at once he always started with the children. He liked how it added to the distress of the parents."
Severus's face had become an implacable mask as he spoke. Rowena could see the tell-tale muscle in his jaw tense and knew he was thinking of Katrina.
"Of course the worst of the three was Hopkirk. His tastes were more in the realm of vivisection and sexual torture. He liked his victims young. I won't disgust you with any more detail than that.
"I'm just rather curious as to which of those fine upstanding citizens you felt particularly remorseful about killing?" he finished dryly.
Remus shook his head in combined horror and anger, "When you put it like that, none of them. Maybe I should regret that I killed them too quickly!"
"REMUS!" Rowena exclaimed, surprised that her very mild-mannered brother could say such a thing.
But Snape actually gave him a cold smile of approval, "Indeed."
A short while later other Order members arrived, including Albus. Rowena got up to leave but was requested to stay by the Headmaster. Molly carried in Katrina who had fallen asleep for her afternoon nap, and Rowena settled the child onto Severus's bed.
The Weasley's all looked whole and well. Arthur had a small bandage across his jaw, and the twins had some bandages on their hands. But they grinned brightly and waved to Rowena as they came in and sat down on one of the folding chairs Albus had conjured into the room for the impromptu meeting.
Molly went immediately to Severus and hugged him tightly. It was fortunate for him that she was short, and his remaining burns were high up on his back. He had no physical discomfort from the hug, but was still highly shocked and embarrassed. He patted her briefly on the shoulder until she released him, dabbing at her eyes. She said nothing as she went to sit with Arthur, and Severus merely returned to the edge of his bed, trying to pretend it hadn't happened.
Before any true discussion could begin, the door burst open again to admit the entrance of four other individuals. Uninvited individuals: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, and Hermione Granger. Harry's jaw was set mulishly and he frowned around the room, settling his startlingly green gaze on Severus, guessing correctly where the first objections would arise.
"Potter—what are you doing here? Get out," Snape snarled viciously.
"We're not leaving. I'm tired of being kept in the dark by you people! I'm supposed to have to face Voldemort eventually, fine. I want to know what's going on. We can help. We want to help. I want to help," Harry blurted out defiantly.
"NO!" Snape growled, "Absolutely not. You can't be trusted. You don't follow basic rules or directions. You are a child. Get out."
Rowena had stood and retrieved Harry's broom from the corner and took it to him, "You did help, Harry. This probably saved Katrina's life, letting Severus get there in time. But this isn't the time or place for you now."
Albus broke in, "Severus, I think Harry has a point. These four already know most of what's going on. They know your role. They also have an unfortunate habit of seeking out information when they know there are secrets around. Perhaps it is time to stop shielding them and to start letting them know what we face."
Severus snorted in disgust, "Tell him and you might as well tell the whole school. Do not forget the Death Eaters are not above using their own children as spies."
"We're not going to tell anyone anything!" Harry spat back at Snape. "I've known you were a Death Eater spy since my fourth year! Trust me, if I wanted to reveal secrets that would be my first one! Maybe that way I could get you off my back!"
"HARRY!" Rowena and Molly both said at once, startled that he would threaten to do something that was the equivalent of a death threat. Severus merely sneered maliciously at the boy.
"Do it, Potter. I assure you I'll take you down with me," he said silkily.
Rowena took in a sharp his of breath and squeezed his hand in a fruitless attempt to rein-in his anger.
Thankfully Albus broke in, facing the kids with a very stern countenance, "Enough of this! If you are to be included in this particular discussion, you must understand a few things. This does not entitle you to be included in EVERY discussion involving the Order. I will not tolerate disrespect or disobedience.
"I believe if you had understood the importance of my instructions to you last year, you would have followed them more willingly. I made a grave error. I am willing to try it your way and be more open with you. But I will no longer tolerate deliberate disobedience of my instructions or disrespect of my Professors. And nothing said in this room leaves this room. Is that perfectly clear?"
All four of them nodded, though Potter continued to cast a nasty glare in Severus's direction, which he was more than happy to return.
"Capital. Be seated then, and be quiet unless you have something to add," Albus said firmly, and drew up four more chairs.
After much discussion of various sources of information, it was determined that the attack on the Burrow had been directed primarily at the twins. Apparently they had been quite successful in stopping shipments of questionable items to Knockturn Alley. As the Weasleys are pureblood, there was no intent to kill them, only frighten them. Arthur and some of his Muggle protection legislature was also an incentive.
Remus reported that he was fairly certain that there were five separate men in the woods, and he had only successfully found three, which brought the discussion around to Severus's safety due to the Daily Prophet reports. Severus brushed this off as a non-issue. He had not yet given the Dark Lord the notes on the Azkaban wards that Rowena had given him weeks before, saving them for a time of need. He was confident that he could make adequate excuses for his behavior so as to remove him from suspicion.
A report from Tonks revealed the Dark Lord's continued interest in the Prophesy. Apparently his people had researched it further and determined that there was still a possible way to obtain it in its entirety. This would require a Pensieve from Albus containing the memory of the Prophesy. The plan was to attempt to acquire a hostage of sufficient import to the Headmaster to ransom in exchange for such a Pensieve.
This was the first time everyone in the room learned more or less the contents of the Prophesy, and Rowena could tell by their pallor that Harry's friends hadn't known the severity of his danger. What a horrible burden to be placed on a child! She felt suddenly more compassionate towards him than she had when he entered the room. No wonder he wanted to know what was going on—in the end it all affected him quite personally!
However, Severus and Alastor openly scoffed at the Prophesy. Neither man felt it carried much weight.
"Even if it is true and destined," sneered Snape, "we are all quite doomed to the Dark Lord's rule if Potter doesn't learn to shoulder some responsibility and accountability. The boy runs around as though he owns the place, as though rules are beneath him. He behaves as though he is entitled to do whatever he likes whenever he likes, simply because he is 'Harry Potter'.
"I do not think that all of this special treatment is at all preparing him for what he will face, if indeed he is destined to battle against the Dark Lord. I, for one, will not be resting any of my hopes for the future on HIM."
Harry frowned and sputtered indignantly, but held his tongue for the moment, not wanting to be expelled from the meeting after finally having been allowed to sit in.
Moody had fixed his normal eye on Severus as he spoke, while the magical one continued in its characteristic sweep of the area. It did settle at last on Harry. He stretched out his wooden leg with a 'thunk' to draw attention to him, and then added his gravelly voice to the mix.
"I think I might have managed to be a bit more tactful than old Snape," Moody said with a small chuckle at the idea of himself being considered 'tactful' in any setting. "But I have to agree with the sentiment. I don't hold much stock in the Prophesy, but if it is true, it's for bloody damn sure I want that boy better prepared before I'd trust him to battle for my eternal soul."
Snape glanced over at Moody in surprise. He wouldn't have expected agreement from THAT quarter!
Moody continued, "I'm not saying anything against your sheer talent, Potter. But if you're going to look on this as genuine and take on the responsibility, you've got to get that chip off your shoulder and start putting forth some effort in your studies and training. You shouldn't be surprised that you're a frequent topic of discussion. Your marks are slipping boy; your Charms and Transfiguration work so far this year is shoddy at best...."
He would have continued, but Rowena interrupted with some asperity, "Okay, well, I don't think this meeting was intended as a 'dissect Harry's academic marks' session. He's been working very hard in his Occlumency lessons with me, and I defy any of you to face what he's faced and not go through a bit of defiance and denial. His study habits and marks are no one's business but his own, Prophesy or not. The Headmaster has already addressed the rule breaking. I think we just need to move on and leave Harry alone."
Albus smiled at her, his eyes twinkling, and gave a little nod, "Agreed, Rowena, I couldn't have said it better myself."
He deftly returned the discussion back towards Voldemort's desire for the Prophesy and talk of hostages. It of course caused grave worry in many quarters, and it was decided that Hogsmeade visits would be cancelled for the year. The kids promised to help keep the uproar over this as low as possible, and also to report anyone trying to sneak out of the grounds. Even Harry seemed to understand the seriousness of that situation. It was simply not possible to sufficiently guard the students when they were off the grounds. Dumbledore also decided to ask all the teachers to do any shopping possible by Owl-post, and travel in pairs at least when leaving the grounds was absolutely necessary.
All in all it was a tired and profoundly worried group of people who left the room an hour later.
It was late evening before the next visitor arrived, so Severus managed to rest a bit and Rowena helped the Weasley's settle into some family quarters in the residential wing of the castle. It was decided that Katrina would continue to live with them there since they were still her official guardians, and of course Rowena and Severus had their jobs.
Still, Katrina was with Rowena when she went back to Severus. She was unpleasantly surprised to find Dylan in the room. He had swung a chair around backwards and straddled it as though it were a horse, leaning his elbows across the back of the chair and clearly annoying the hell out of Severus.
"Well, now, Sev, that was a right brave thing you done savin' that little girl and all," he drawled.
"Professor Howard. I expect you to address me as Professor Snape. I am not, nor have I ever been 'Sev' and I am not about to tolerate it now. This is your one and only warning. I would hate to have to remove your tongue," Severus said, not bothering to veil his threat. He plainly didn't think the cowboy would recognize it unless it was blatant.
Dylan was clearly taken aback, but decided not to take offense, "Oh, right'cha are Perfesser Snape. I didn't mean no disrespect.
"Hey, I met a buddy of yours last weekend. He's gonna help me get some stuff for the kids for my advanced classes. I don' know enough folks 'round here to get some of the more unusual stuff; but Luke, why, he was right helpful."
Severus merely scowled at him, not deigning to reply. He knew no one by the name of 'Luke', and didn't care to hear the cowboy's class itinerary. Fortunately Rowena entered the room with Katrina then. The little girl immediately climbed onto the bed with Severus and snuggled against his side.
"Aw, now ain't she a right purdy little thing? I ain't seen her yet. Poor little filly; damn good thing you got there in time, that's all I got to say. Hi, Honey, I'm Dylan," he said smiling blindingly at the child.
Rowena had taken a chair next to the bed and was trying not to laugh at the look of disgust on Severus's face as he regarded the 'cowboy'. He quickly schooled his face into impassivity, though, and Katrina's eyes grew wide as she looked over Dylan's shoulder.
"What a charming picturesque. I came to pay my regards and see if you needed anything as you recover from your injuries. I see you are being quite well taken care of," sounded the smoothly cultured tones of...
"Luke! Well, hell, fancy meetin' you here! I was just tellin' Sev... I mean Perfesser Snape that I'd met up with you. I shoulda known you'd come see you're buddy in his hour of need," Dylan stood and shook Lucius's hand warmly with the jubilant air of someone meeting a long-lost brother.
Lucius, in tribute to years of practicing social graces in every situation, greeted the man with warm politeness. The only hint of discomposure was a small pause in the speed of his blink as he was addressed as "Luke" and the slightest of pained edges to his polite smile.
"Dylan. It is indeed a pleasure to see you again. I was hoping to have a visit with my... 'buddy'... as you say. I see perhaps I need to return later."
He then directed his cold, ice gray eyes to Katrina and smiled at her. Rowena barely suppressed a shudder as a chill washed over her at the sight. Katrina must have felt something as well, because she cowered closer to Severus. He was in such a dangerous position right now—he didn't' dare show Katrina any affection in front of Lucius! Quickly Rowena picked up the child and stepped as far away from Lucius as she could in the small room.
"No, Lucius. I'm glad to give you privacy. It's time for Katrina's bath, and I need to retrieve your package from Severus's lab for you. I'll be back in half an hour or a bit longer," she said. She looked worriedly into Severus's eyes, but his face was an implacable mask; he merely nodded.
Dylan apparently caught on as well and followed her out of the room, though he stopped in the main ward to talk to Arthur Weasley who was fascinated by his spurs.
Lucius sealed the door behind them with an Imperturbable Charm and turned a cool gaze to Severus.
"Your wench's brother killed three of my men last night and nearly got me as well. Explain," he said without preamble.
It was well that Severus had spent a lifetime learning to control his emotions, or his rage at Lucius would have betrayed him in that moment. Instead he merely regarded the blond man in cool silence for long minutes. It was Lucius who was driven to break it.
"Severus, my old friend," he said with an icy smile as he leaned his hands against his tall walking stick, "I do believe you have gone soft. What could possibly possess you to risk your life to save the mudblood child? It's plastered all over the papers. I don't need to tell you that our Master is seriously displeased. I would like to be able to offer him a reasonable explanation so that your death is not a certainty when next you answer his call."
At last Severus spoke in his deep baritone, boredom thick in every word, "Soft? Me? Hardly; Dumbledore has been growing suspicious. Some of your men have been clumsy in their threats to the Weasleys. Rowena is quite fond of the child and had given her some sort of talisman that allows the girl to contact Rowena at any time, which is how we learned of the fire. Rowena alerted Dumbledore, and the rest is history. Rowena is fond of the child; she is fond of me. Dumbledore suspects me. By saving the child from your clumsy inferno, I refreshed my loyalty to them all, in their eyes."
Lucius gazed at him coolly a moment longer, and then visibly relaxed. He gracefully sat in the chair Dylan had recently vacated, though he turned it around and sat in it properly, "Ah, Severus, forgive me for my doubts. I wanted to believe there was a reasonable explanation. I am so glad you have justified my faith in you once again."
He regarded the darker man shrewdly for a moment before continuing.
"However, I still believe that you have developed a bit of a personal interest in the woman yourself. Am I correct?"
Severus merely scowled with a brow raised.
"You don't have to answer. I can guess. Do not be ashamed, I am quite fond of my Narcissa as you know. They have their uses, women do. There is no reason for you to be immune to their lure when the rest of us are not."
He stood and walked to the window, deep in thought, twirling his staff absently. "You are walking a dangerous line, Severus. But at least you are of value to both sides, which offers you a measure of protection. Aurors are poking around my home with increasing frequency. My family is in danger.
"I would like to offer a bit of... mutual protection shall we say. Draco is the last of the Malfoys as you know. Give me your word for the sake of our long friendship that you will do what you can to preserve my line, and I will give you mine that I will do what I can to protect your wench and her pet child."
Severus was immediately suspicious and let it show in face and voice, "What benefit is it to me to risk my position by guarding Draco? You are quite mistaken if you assume the woman and girl are that valuable to me."
Lucius shrugged, "Suit yourself. I expected you would offer Draco what protection you could simply out of loyalty and debt owed to me, as well as the fact that you are his Godfather. I was merely trying to give you something of value in exchange. I do have quite a bit of say these days in choosing targets. You know how the Dark Lord hates Mudbloods."
With great restraint to avoid slugging the man right there and then, Severus shrugged and answered in bored tones, "Your terms are acceptable—the woman and the girl in exchange for Draco. At least until I find something of more value to protect instead. I take these things very seriously as you know, Lucius. If either is injured after this agreement from something you could have prevented, I will not hesitate to kill Draco, Godson or no."
Lucius strode to him quickly as though expecting him to change his mind, and shook his hand, "Accepted and agreed."
Rowena returned then with Lucius's package, and knocked on the door. Lucius opened it with great gallantry and jubilation of spirits.
"Ah, Rowena, I was just commending my dear friend on his bravery. What a heroic thing to save the child as he did. I am sure you must be very proud of him."
Rowena regarded him with an air of suspicion, but did not hesitate to agree, "Yes, I am. But I was proud of him before. He's a good man."
"And a lucky man to have found you at this stage in his life. I do hope to see you again soon. I know my dear Narcissa is planning a dinner party sometime soon. I really don't keep track of the trivialities, but I am sure you will receive an invitation.
"Good evening," he said as he gently took the clinking package and shook her hand warmly. He then left the room, shutting the door as he left with his walking stick, a definite spring in his steps.
Severus, on the other hand, looked quite drained. She sat next to him and peered at him worriedly, "That bad, huh?"
"Lucius was involved in last night's attack," he said simply, and then wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close, needing to feel her warmth.
He actually felt somewhat safer knowing that he had exchanged such an oath with Lucius. The other man did have significant clout when it came to 'choosing targets' as he said. It was incomprehensible to Lucius that Severus wouldn't allow anything to deliberately happen to Draco simply because he was a student at Hogwarts.
Death Eaters liked the dubious sense of security obtained from oaths of honor, and could generally be relied upon to uphold such oaths. Lucius was one who held great stock in the honor of a man's word, and so Severus felt confident enough to make the promise. It made 'his girls' as safe as he could make them in light of the circumstances.
Poppy came in and changed his bandages again. The wounds were healing well. Thanks to Dumbledore's intervention, she relented and said she would allow him out in the morning to teach classes. With the conditions that he return during breaks for fresh bandages and he get plenty of sleep tonight.
To that effect, the nurse began to attempt to chivvy Rowena out of the room, and she would have reluctantly complied.
Severus had other ideas, "No, she stays," he said firmly.
Poppy threw her hands up in disgust but made no further arguments. Rowena blushed crimson, but was very pleased that he wanted her to be with him.
"Lupin, come here," he commanded, pulling the blankets back for her.
"Aren't you going to enlarge the bed?" she asked.
"Seeing as how you have taken my wand, wench, no I am not. Besides, there's plenty of room here. I don't want you that far away."
He finally allowed her to leave long enough to change into pajamas rather than spend another night in her robes. The extreme modesty of her nighttime attire left something to be desired, in his opinion. She wore deep purple silk pajamas that were quite as modest as her usual clothing.
She had braided her hair to sleep, but when she returned to the room he immediately took it out, letting it cascade down in long waves. He ignored her protests against the tangles that would result by morning.
"I like it down. Leave it," he directed, though it was more an appeal than a demand.
She felt incredibly shy and embarrassed for some reason... she had napped with him several times now, slept the night with him last night... but somehow this seemed all more deliberate and suggestive. She was trembling slightly as she sat on the edge of the bed next to where he was already lying.
"Rowena... come here... "
She at last lay down next to him, and he pulled her close. The warm, spicy scent of him filled her senses. He was leaning up on one arm looking down into her face. Her heart was thrumming madly at his nearness and that odd tightening sensation in her abdomen that he so often inspired flooded through her, causing a delicious shudder.
Gently he caressed her face, devouring her with his eyes. Never had she known it was possible to feel so beautiful simply by being... LOOKED at. Still she trembled, though she didn't know why—whether it was fear or anticipation...
"Rowena, I am not going to make love to you tonight," he said softly, bluntly, taking her completely by surprise.
"Oh...," a slight breathy sound was all she managed to make. Was she relieved or disappointed? Even she could not have said, though it was something to know what to expect... or not to expect. And her trembling did ease with the knowledge.
The corners of his mouth lifted as he read the confusion of thoughts pass her visage. "This is hardly the time or place for something that momentous, don't you agree?"
She nodded silently, too overcome at the moment with awareness of him for coherent speech. His slight smile brightened a bit more as he continued, "I just wanted you with me. I have never wanted the presence of another human being since I was a very small child... but I find I am finally ready to admit that I want you with me. Do you mind?"
"No, I don't mind... I like to be with you, you know that."
He smirked and gave a small laugh, "I know it. I can't for the life of me imagine why, but I have come to know it."
"Severus?"
"Yes?"
"I want you to kiss me..."
Slowly, teasingly he lowered his lips to hers. She moaned blissfully against his lips and parted her own to allow him admittance. Tongue tangled with tongue passionately as he pulled her closer. She was afraid of hurting his wounds on his back so instead wrapped an arm around his waist. The other hand wound itself into his hair, clinging to him. He trailed off to her ears and throat, nuzzling her neck with hot kisses as he learned what pleased her.
Her pajama top was too modest to allow him enough access to where he wanted to kiss and taste... As he kissed her he undid the top buttons, loosening the fabric so that he could nibble the sensitive ridge of flesh along her collarbone and shoulder, his hand boldly caressing the gentle swell of her breast through the fabric. She gasped and then moaned in pleasure as he touched her, the hard peak of her nipple rigid against his hand. He draped one muscular leg across hers so that his thigh was deliciously pressed against her feminine core and she arched involuntarily against him.
She could hardly comprehend the sensations that flooded her as he explored her body. The sensual tickle of his hair as it brushed her neck where he was kissing, the firm hardness that was pressing seductively against her thigh, revealing to her his desire as well. And then the sharp thrill of his hand on her breast... she had no idea that being touched there could feel so incredible!
"Severus..." she moaned desperately...
He returned to her lips and kissed her deeply, crushing her chest against his, delighting at the feel of her heart pounding against him. She arched herself against his hardness, pressing her groin against his thigh. She made soft, desperate, whimpering sounds against his lips and his control was nearly lost entirely.
Instead he backed off slightly and redid her top buttons, smiling into her passion darkened eyes.
"How can you DO that?" she asked in frustration.
"Do what?" he asked innocently.
"Just turn that off like that... I'm about to go insane and you're just all calm, cool and collected. It's quite cruel and unfair!"
He stroked her cheek and kissed her gently, "Oh no, Rowena, I'm not the least bit calm or any of those other things... well, cruel we have established many times," he actually grinned at this and kissed her again.
"I find that I'm a bit old-fashioned, which I assure you does surprise me greatly. There will be a time and place for this completion, but this is not it. In the meantime I think it is pleasant to indulge in 'research', don't you think? I'd much rather kiss you to insensibility and deal with the frustration of my body than not taste of your delights at all."
"Why, Severus Snape, I do believe you are a closet romantic," she teased, snuggling into his chest.
"I will never admit to such an insulting accusation," he said, pretending-- rather badly--to be affronted. He kissed her tenderly again and then wrapped her in his arms. In shorter time than might be imagined, they were both blissfully asleep.
A/N: Oh dear, what on earth can it be that Luke—I mean Lucius—has helped Dylan acquire for the teaching of his DADA class? It surely can't be good! Do you really believe Harry will attempt to be more rule-abiding?
I was a bit surprised that Albus let him stay in the meeting, but I think his guilt over Sirius and the consequences of his secrecy of last year still weigh heavily on him. And as much of the discussion involved the Prophecy, which does involve Harry, I think he felt Harry had a right to be present.
Happy Reading!
Thank you to my Beta, Elaine!
Chapter 21: Baby-Steps Towards Healing
The soft 'whoosh' that usually signaled Severus's arrival in the secret room in the Hospital wing at Hogwarts was instead a rather undignified, muffled 'thud', followed by a low moan of pain. Rowena got up off of the bed at once, pulling Katrina with her so as not to cause Severus any further discomfort. The burns had to be severe to account for the moisture on his robes, and she could only imagine how excruciating the pain must be.
Poppy was there waiting, her face anxious, but her manner brisk and professional as she went to him immediately. Rowena sat in a chair next to the bed holding Katrina, who was already nearly asleep in her arms. It was still several hours before dawn, yet well past midnight.
"Alright, Severus. Up. Shirt off, robes off. No time to be shy. C'mon, boy, you've lost too much fluid volume to dawdle about, hurry up, hurry up," Madam Pomfrey scolded as she began to withdraw potions, bandages and cleansing solutions from her cabinet.
Rowena laid Katrina in the chair and helped Severus sit on the edge of the bed. Very gingerly she helped him with the buttons of his shirt and robes. It was a mark of how badly he was injured that he allowed the assistance. She had done a fair job of healing his hands on site, but the fingers were still sore and stiff, moving clumsily as he fumbled with the buttons. The pain relieving charms she had used had long since worn off and he no longer had the benefit of adrenaline to suppress his awareness of the pain. His breathing came in sharp gasps, his dark eyes clouded in his discomfort.
His entire back was horribly burned. In some areas it was pink and oozing where blistered flesh had peeled away against his shirt. In other areas it was burned black and dead. A small portion across his left shoulder blade was burnt so deeply that white bone could be seen glistening among the angry red and black flesh. Rowena was horrified at the extent of the injury, and could tell by the decrease in the nurse's 'tut-tuttings' that she was also surprised at their severity.
At last he sat at the edge of the bed clad in nothing but his under shorts. His knees and shins were lightly burned where he had braced himself climbing up burning debris to get to the second floor, as were portions of his arms, but the most severe injury was unquestionably his back.
Poppy began to work in her brisk, no-nonsense fashion. Rowena assisted with the pain relieving charms so that she could feel she was of some use. He merely sat, still and silent, only the occasional change in his breathing and tightening of his muscles betraying his pain. The nurse had him lean against the over-bed table so that she had free access to the wounds. The disinfectant sizzled and smoked as she daubed it on with clinical efficiency.
"I can fix this up, Severus. Most of it will be fine by morning," the nurse explained as she worked, "But here over your scapula where the flesh is completely gone... that's going to require some regenerating potions. And the dressings will have to be changed at least three times a day—more if they become wet or drain-through. Otherwise you're looking at infection. You'll need to have someone else take your classes the first few days next week at the very least...."
"No," he said sharply, through gritted teeth.
"Don't argue with me boy, you're here for five days at least, and I won't hear another word..."
"No. I have an errand later today that will not be delayed," he said again, with equal determination as hers. "I will come and you can play with your bandages as often as you like, but I will not sit in this ward like an invalid."
Poppy just clucked her tongue and said something about "the Headmaster" and continued her work.
Rowena then remembered the blood loss, and drew attention to it, "Poppy, he's lost a lot of blood, too. Do you have a blood replenishing potion?"
"Nonsense, child; burns don't bleed," Poppy said, distractedly. But to assure herself, she did some diagnostic spells as well.
"Severus!" she scolded, when she learned the truth of the matter. "How on earth did you lose so much blood?"
"I haven't lost any blood, woman. Maybe I've just become anemic," he said acidly.
"Anemic my hat! What have you been doing? You can't be keeping things like this a secret. I'll be having words with Albus about you. Anemic indeed," she muttered as she went back to her potions stores.
"Blood replenishing potion. Drink it, and then put making more on the top of your to-do list when you are released from here—this is my last dose," she said imperiously as she thrust it in his hand.
He shook his head and thrust it away, "I haven't got time to make more. It takes far too long to mature. I am incredibly busy at the moment. Keep it for the Quidditch idiots who are far more likely to need it. I am fine."
Poppy and Rowena exchanged worried looks, but Severus was getting more and more irritable as his condition improved. They decided not to argue further at the moment. However, Poppy would allow no argument over the flesh-regenerating potion. She watched him with a hawk-like gaze to ensure he actually drank it. When she had finished all she could do, she left him in Rowena's charge. The Weasleys had arrived and she needed to go and begin tending to their injuries.
His hands and lighter wounds were completely healed and large, clean white bandages covered several areas of his upper back. Rowena went to his quarters and brought him a very loose nightshirt that wouldn't rub against his bandages. At last he settled irritably in the bed, lying on his side to protect his back. Rowena picked up Katrina and sat in the chair next to his bed, holding the child tightly, laying her cheek against the golden curls.
"Lupin, go to bed. I'm fine," he said irritably.
"I know you are," she said looking at him wistfully. "I thought I'd lost you tonight...I almost did lose you... both of you. I just need to be with you right now. Are you going to make me leave?"
He looked at her and at the tiny child on her lap and gave a wry smile. "No. Of course not; you can't sit up all night without sleep. Come here."
He reached his wand from the nightstand and transfigured the bed to be larger. Drawing the covers down, he grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the bed with him. She smiled tenderly and settled Katrina's sleeping form between them. In short order they were wrapped together in the mutual reassuring comfort of each other.
The sun was pouring brightly through the small window when Rowena woke. Katrina was asleep on her chest, and Severus was lying on his side, his arm draped protectively over both her and Katrina. Rowena smiled softly as she looked at him and snuggled closer into the warmth of his arms. He woke when she stirred and caught her gaze with his fathomless black eyes.
Moody's words still echoed in his head... "Your girls"... "Your family". Somehow everything had changed inside him since the moment the werewolf first communicated the attack. Maybe from the moment Albus had first shown him the empty black box two weeks ago.
He realized that while he still didn't feel worthy of their trust and affections, he no longer felt compelled to drive them away from him. No, instead he felt an overpowering determination to somehow BECOME worthy. This was an amazing thing... to be cared for and depended upon, to be trusted implicitly and loved unconditionally. He damn well intended to EARN it.
He leaned up on his elbow and slowly claimed her lips with his, careful not to disturb the sleeping child. He poured every bit of tenderness he could express into the kiss, gently stroking her lips with his, probing with his tongue until he found hers, caressing and tasting.
When he pulled back to look at her, tears were running silently down her face. He gently stroked the tears from her face, raised a brow and said sardonically, "That was not quite the reaction I had anticipated."
She tried to smile through her tears but instead simply wrapped her arm around him, encompassing both him and Katrina in her hug as she began to cry in earnest against his chest. He enfolded her into his arms and simply held her until the wave of tears had passed.
"I was so scared, Severus. I thought you had died, that I had lost you. I was just so scared!" she said when she at last found her voice.
"Shhhh," he said gently, rubbing his chin against the top of her head, "Rowena, it's over. I'm fine. Katrina's fine. Everything is going to be okay."
The thing that surprised him the most was not to hear himself say those words, but to find that he actually believed them. At this particular moment, with Rowena warm and soft in his arms and Katrina sleeping peacefully between them, he had never felt surer of anything in his life. Somehow, he was determined to make sure that everything really would be 'okay'.
Two hours later, however, he was in a towering rage. Rowena had left the room to check on the Weasleys and to bring him clean clothing to wear. Several Order members were coming to discuss what had occurred and its implications. But that interfering woman had taken his wand when she left! Correction—she had taken BOTH his wands, effectively making it impossible for him to leave the room. Poppy had warded it against his exit, and without a wand he could not drop the wards.
When she returned with fresh robes, she left Katrina with Molly. He was pacing the small space like a caged tiger.
"Lupin, give me my wand. NOW," he said in his dangerous silken tones.
She placed the bundle of robes in his hands and stood on tip-toe to kiss him gently, "No."
"Rowena, I have things I need to do. Things that will not wait," he insisted through nearly clenched teeth.
"They will have to wait. Poppy said five days. I doubt very much she'll contain you that long, but I think a full twenty-four hours is not too much to ask. Albus and the others will visit you here. Now, what can I order for you to eat?"
He threw the robes onto the bed and grabbed her shoulders to make her look at him, "Rowena, I have to see Lucius Malfoy—TODAY. It will not wait, I tell you. This is not a joking matter."
"Oh, well if that's your worry, then sit down and be a good patient, Severus. We apparently had a reporter in our midst last night at the Burrow. Lucius is coming here sometime this evening to visit you—he sent me an Owl," she said, tossing him a copy of The Daily Prophet.
On the front page were several pictures from the night before. The Dark Mark above the flaming house; Severus next to a hysterical Rowena and doubting Moody; pictures of him going into the house; and even a picture of him kneeling beside Katrina's cot after pulling her out of the flames, Rowena at his side.
It was all accompanied by a full, quite exaggerated story by one Rita Skeeter, complete with the juicy rumors of the 'mysterious fiancée' of the solitary Hogwarts Potions Master. According to the story, he rescued ALL the inhabitants of the house from the fire, not just Katrina. The hint was present throughout that the child was not an orphan as had been suggested, but a secret love-child between said professor and the mysterious woman. All in all, it read like a rather sleazy tabloid story than an actual news piece.
Severus groaned as he threw the paper aside after reading the article, "Potter and company are going to have a field day with that! Very well, if Lucius is indeed coming here, I need to retrieve a package for him out of my lab. I still insist that you give me my wand at once."
"No. I'll get your package for you, but no wand," she said patiently.
It was perhaps quite lucky that Poppy came in at that moment to change his bandages.
Remus was among the first to visit that day. He wasn't actually there to see Severus, but rather to check on Rowena and the little girl. He looked drawn and tired as he always did after his transformations. But worry over Tonks had worn on him lately as well and an even heavier burden had settled on him over the course of the night.
Severus was sitting on the edge of his bed using the over-bed table as a desk of sorts, looking through files and information that Albus had brought in earlier. Rowena sat in a recliner next to the bed, and Remus sat in a chair near Rowena, though trying to maintain a distance from Severus. Katrina was currently with Molly Weasley.
After a short bit of 'small talk', Rowena delved right to the heart of the matter, "Remus, what's really bothering you today? I mean, aside from everything,"she said with a wistful smile.
Remus sighed and ran a hand tiredly through his hair. "Last night... Rowena, last night I killed three people. I mean, they were Death Eaters and after what they had done they deserved it... I'm not really sorry I did it... but it's a strange feeling. Yesterday I was just a guy who happened to have this problem once a month. I sort of had the dubious distinction of being perhaps the only living werewolf who had never injured another human being. Today I'm a killer. I'm surprised how much it bothers me."
Severus looked up from his work with a brow raised incredulously. This man, who might have been his own would-be-murderer years ago if Black's schemes had succeeded, was genuinely distressed about killing three Death Eaters.
"Which death bothers you, Lupin?" Snape asked tiredly, "Baddock's? He was particularly fond of killing Muggle women in the advanced stages of pregnancy. He carried a rather long knife, you see, and he would cut the abdomen and extract the fetus—generally developed enough to be born alive. That's actually not a terribly fatal wound for the woman at first. He would yank out the entire uterus in the process to ensure the woman bled to death eventually, but not before she watched him kill the infant. There are certain dark magic spells that require fetal brain tissue. There are more humane ways to acquire the tissue, of course, though they all require the death of the fetus, but those aren't nearly so entertaining."
He paused, giving Remus chance to absorb what he had said. "Good God! That's sick!" Remus exclaimed, looking rather green in the face.
"Indeed, but then Death Eaters aren't known for their sanity or compassion," Snape said sardonically. He continued then in his detailing of the Death Eaters Remus had killed.
"Pucey was far less subtle. He merely liked anything that was as bloody as he could make it and didn't care how long his victims lived in the process. He tended to merely slit Muggle throats, though if he could do an entire family at once he always started with the children. He liked how it added to the distress of the parents."
Severus's face had become an implacable mask as he spoke. Rowena could see the tell-tale muscle in his jaw tense and knew he was thinking of Katrina.
"Of course the worst of the three was Hopkirk. His tastes were more in the realm of vivisection and sexual torture. He liked his victims young. I won't disgust you with any more detail than that.
"I'm just rather curious as to which of those fine upstanding citizens you felt particularly remorseful about killing?" he finished dryly.
Remus shook his head in combined horror and anger, "When you put it like that, none of them. Maybe I should regret that I killed them too quickly!"
"REMUS!" Rowena exclaimed, surprised that her very mild-mannered brother could say such a thing.
But Snape actually gave him a cold smile of approval, "Indeed."
A short while later other Order members arrived, including Albus. Rowena got up to leave but was requested to stay by the Headmaster. Molly carried in Katrina who had fallen asleep for her afternoon nap, and Rowena settled the child onto Severus's bed.
The Weasley's all looked whole and well. Arthur had a small bandage across his jaw, and the twins had some bandages on their hands. But they grinned brightly and waved to Rowena as they came in and sat down on one of the folding chairs Albus had conjured into the room for the impromptu meeting.
Molly went immediately to Severus and hugged him tightly. It was fortunate for him that she was short, and his remaining burns were high up on his back. He had no physical discomfort from the hug, but was still highly shocked and embarrassed. He patted her briefly on the shoulder until she released him, dabbing at her eyes. She said nothing as she went to sit with Arthur, and Severus merely returned to the edge of his bed, trying to pretend it hadn't happened.
Before any true discussion could begin, the door burst open again to admit the entrance of four other individuals. Uninvited individuals: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, and Hermione Granger. Harry's jaw was set mulishly and he frowned around the room, settling his startlingly green gaze on Severus, guessing correctly where the first objections would arise.
"Potter—what are you doing here? Get out," Snape snarled viciously.
"We're not leaving. I'm tired of being kept in the dark by you people! I'm supposed to have to face Voldemort eventually, fine. I want to know what's going on. We can help. We want to help. I want to help," Harry blurted out defiantly.
"NO!" Snape growled, "Absolutely not. You can't be trusted. You don't follow basic rules or directions. You are a child. Get out."
Rowena had stood and retrieved Harry's broom from the corner and took it to him, "You did help, Harry. This probably saved Katrina's life, letting Severus get there in time. But this isn't the time or place for you now."
Albus broke in, "Severus, I think Harry has a point. These four already know most of what's going on. They know your role. They also have an unfortunate habit of seeking out information when they know there are secrets around. Perhaps it is time to stop shielding them and to start letting them know what we face."
Severus snorted in disgust, "Tell him and you might as well tell the whole school. Do not forget the Death Eaters are not above using their own children as spies."
"We're not going to tell anyone anything!" Harry spat back at Snape. "I've known you were a Death Eater spy since my fourth year! Trust me, if I wanted to reveal secrets that would be my first one! Maybe that way I could get you off my back!"
"HARRY!" Rowena and Molly both said at once, startled that he would threaten to do something that was the equivalent of a death threat. Severus merely sneered maliciously at the boy.
"Do it, Potter. I assure you I'll take you down with me," he said silkily.
Rowena took in a sharp his of breath and squeezed his hand in a fruitless attempt to rein-in his anger.
Thankfully Albus broke in, facing the kids with a very stern countenance, "Enough of this! If you are to be included in this particular discussion, you must understand a few things. This does not entitle you to be included in EVERY discussion involving the Order. I will not tolerate disrespect or disobedience.
"I believe if you had understood the importance of my instructions to you last year, you would have followed them more willingly. I made a grave error. I am willing to try it your way and be more open with you. But I will no longer tolerate deliberate disobedience of my instructions or disrespect of my Professors. And nothing said in this room leaves this room. Is that perfectly clear?"
All four of them nodded, though Potter continued to cast a nasty glare in Severus's direction, which he was more than happy to return.
"Capital. Be seated then, and be quiet unless you have something to add," Albus said firmly, and drew up four more chairs.
After much discussion of various sources of information, it was determined that the attack on the Burrow had been directed primarily at the twins. Apparently they had been quite successful in stopping shipments of questionable items to Knockturn Alley. As the Weasleys are pureblood, there was no intent to kill them, only frighten them. Arthur and some of his Muggle protection legislature was also an incentive.
Remus reported that he was fairly certain that there were five separate men in the woods, and he had only successfully found three, which brought the discussion around to Severus's safety due to the Daily Prophet reports. Severus brushed this off as a non-issue. He had not yet given the Dark Lord the notes on the Azkaban wards that Rowena had given him weeks before, saving them for a time of need. He was confident that he could make adequate excuses for his behavior so as to remove him from suspicion.
A report from Tonks revealed the Dark Lord's continued interest in the Prophesy. Apparently his people had researched it further and determined that there was still a possible way to obtain it in its entirety. This would require a Pensieve from Albus containing the memory of the Prophesy. The plan was to attempt to acquire a hostage of sufficient import to the Headmaster to ransom in exchange for such a Pensieve.
This was the first time everyone in the room learned more or less the contents of the Prophesy, and Rowena could tell by their pallor that Harry's friends hadn't known the severity of his danger. What a horrible burden to be placed on a child! She felt suddenly more compassionate towards him than she had when he entered the room. No wonder he wanted to know what was going on—in the end it all affected him quite personally!
However, Severus and Alastor openly scoffed at the Prophesy. Neither man felt it carried much weight.
"Even if it is true and destined," sneered Snape, "we are all quite doomed to the Dark Lord's rule if Potter doesn't learn to shoulder some responsibility and accountability. The boy runs around as though he owns the place, as though rules are beneath him. He behaves as though he is entitled to do whatever he likes whenever he likes, simply because he is 'Harry Potter'.
"I do not think that all of this special treatment is at all preparing him for what he will face, if indeed he is destined to battle against the Dark Lord. I, for one, will not be resting any of my hopes for the future on HIM."
Harry frowned and sputtered indignantly, but held his tongue for the moment, not wanting to be expelled from the meeting after finally having been allowed to sit in.
Moody had fixed his normal eye on Severus as he spoke, while the magical one continued in its characteristic sweep of the area. It did settle at last on Harry. He stretched out his wooden leg with a 'thunk' to draw attention to him, and then added his gravelly voice to the mix.
"I think I might have managed to be a bit more tactful than old Snape," Moody said with a small chuckle at the idea of himself being considered 'tactful' in any setting. "But I have to agree with the sentiment. I don't hold much stock in the Prophesy, but if it is true, it's for bloody damn sure I want that boy better prepared before I'd trust him to battle for my eternal soul."
Snape glanced over at Moody in surprise. He wouldn't have expected agreement from THAT quarter!
Moody continued, "I'm not saying anything against your sheer talent, Potter. But if you're going to look on this as genuine and take on the responsibility, you've got to get that chip off your shoulder and start putting forth some effort in your studies and training. You shouldn't be surprised that you're a frequent topic of discussion. Your marks are slipping boy; your Charms and Transfiguration work so far this year is shoddy at best...."
He would have continued, but Rowena interrupted with some asperity, "Okay, well, I don't think this meeting was intended as a 'dissect Harry's academic marks' session. He's been working very hard in his Occlumency lessons with me, and I defy any of you to face what he's faced and not go through a bit of defiance and denial. His study habits and marks are no one's business but his own, Prophesy or not. The Headmaster has already addressed the rule breaking. I think we just need to move on and leave Harry alone."
Albus smiled at her, his eyes twinkling, and gave a little nod, "Agreed, Rowena, I couldn't have said it better myself."
He deftly returned the discussion back towards Voldemort's desire for the Prophesy and talk of hostages. It of course caused grave worry in many quarters, and it was decided that Hogsmeade visits would be cancelled for the year. The kids promised to help keep the uproar over this as low as possible, and also to report anyone trying to sneak out of the grounds. Even Harry seemed to understand the seriousness of that situation. It was simply not possible to sufficiently guard the students when they were off the grounds. Dumbledore also decided to ask all the teachers to do any shopping possible by Owl-post, and travel in pairs at least when leaving the grounds was absolutely necessary.
All in all it was a tired and profoundly worried group of people who left the room an hour later.
It was late evening before the next visitor arrived, so Severus managed to rest a bit and Rowena helped the Weasley's settle into some family quarters in the residential wing of the castle. It was decided that Katrina would continue to live with them there since they were still her official guardians, and of course Rowena and Severus had their jobs.
Still, Katrina was with Rowena when she went back to Severus. She was unpleasantly surprised to find Dylan in the room. He had swung a chair around backwards and straddled it as though it were a horse, leaning his elbows across the back of the chair and clearly annoying the hell out of Severus.
"Well, now, Sev, that was a right brave thing you done savin' that little girl and all," he drawled.
"Professor Howard. I expect you to address me as Professor Snape. I am not, nor have I ever been 'Sev' and I am not about to tolerate it now. This is your one and only warning. I would hate to have to remove your tongue," Severus said, not bothering to veil his threat. He plainly didn't think the cowboy would recognize it unless it was blatant.
Dylan was clearly taken aback, but decided not to take offense, "Oh, right'cha are Perfesser Snape. I didn't mean no disrespect.
"Hey, I met a buddy of yours last weekend. He's gonna help me get some stuff for the kids for my advanced classes. I don' know enough folks 'round here to get some of the more unusual stuff; but Luke, why, he was right helpful."
Severus merely scowled at him, not deigning to reply. He knew no one by the name of 'Luke', and didn't care to hear the cowboy's class itinerary. Fortunately Rowena entered the room with Katrina then. The little girl immediately climbed onto the bed with Severus and snuggled against his side.
"Aw, now ain't she a right purdy little thing? I ain't seen her yet. Poor little filly; damn good thing you got there in time, that's all I got to say. Hi, Honey, I'm Dylan," he said smiling blindingly at the child.
Rowena had taken a chair next to the bed and was trying not to laugh at the look of disgust on Severus's face as he regarded the 'cowboy'. He quickly schooled his face into impassivity, though, and Katrina's eyes grew wide as she looked over Dylan's shoulder.
"What a charming picturesque. I came to pay my regards and see if you needed anything as you recover from your injuries. I see you are being quite well taken care of," sounded the smoothly cultured tones of...
"Luke! Well, hell, fancy meetin' you here! I was just tellin' Sev... I mean Perfesser Snape that I'd met up with you. I shoulda known you'd come see you're buddy in his hour of need," Dylan stood and shook Lucius's hand warmly with the jubilant air of someone meeting a long-lost brother.
Lucius, in tribute to years of practicing social graces in every situation, greeted the man with warm politeness. The only hint of discomposure was a small pause in the speed of his blink as he was addressed as "Luke" and the slightest of pained edges to his polite smile.
"Dylan. It is indeed a pleasure to see you again. I was hoping to have a visit with my... 'buddy'... as you say. I see perhaps I need to return later."
He then directed his cold, ice gray eyes to Katrina and smiled at her. Rowena barely suppressed a shudder as a chill washed over her at the sight. Katrina must have felt something as well, because she cowered closer to Severus. He was in such a dangerous position right now—he didn't' dare show Katrina any affection in front of Lucius! Quickly Rowena picked up the child and stepped as far away from Lucius as she could in the small room.
"No, Lucius. I'm glad to give you privacy. It's time for Katrina's bath, and I need to retrieve your package from Severus's lab for you. I'll be back in half an hour or a bit longer," she said. She looked worriedly into Severus's eyes, but his face was an implacable mask; he merely nodded.
Dylan apparently caught on as well and followed her out of the room, though he stopped in the main ward to talk to Arthur Weasley who was fascinated by his spurs.
Lucius sealed the door behind them with an Imperturbable Charm and turned a cool gaze to Severus.
"Your wench's brother killed three of my men last night and nearly got me as well. Explain," he said without preamble.
It was well that Severus had spent a lifetime learning to control his emotions, or his rage at Lucius would have betrayed him in that moment. Instead he merely regarded the blond man in cool silence for long minutes. It was Lucius who was driven to break it.
"Severus, my old friend," he said with an icy smile as he leaned his hands against his tall walking stick, "I do believe you have gone soft. What could possibly possess you to risk your life to save the mudblood child? It's plastered all over the papers. I don't need to tell you that our Master is seriously displeased. I would like to be able to offer him a reasonable explanation so that your death is not a certainty when next you answer his call."
At last Severus spoke in his deep baritone, boredom thick in every word, "Soft? Me? Hardly; Dumbledore has been growing suspicious. Some of your men have been clumsy in their threats to the Weasleys. Rowena is quite fond of the child and had given her some sort of talisman that allows the girl to contact Rowena at any time, which is how we learned of the fire. Rowena alerted Dumbledore, and the rest is history. Rowena is fond of the child; she is fond of me. Dumbledore suspects me. By saving the child from your clumsy inferno, I refreshed my loyalty to them all, in their eyes."
Lucius gazed at him coolly a moment longer, and then visibly relaxed. He gracefully sat in the chair Dylan had recently vacated, though he turned it around and sat in it properly, "Ah, Severus, forgive me for my doubts. I wanted to believe there was a reasonable explanation. I am so glad you have justified my faith in you once again."
He regarded the darker man shrewdly for a moment before continuing.
"However, I still believe that you have developed a bit of a personal interest in the woman yourself. Am I correct?"
Severus merely scowled with a brow raised.
"You don't have to answer. I can guess. Do not be ashamed, I am quite fond of my Narcissa as you know. They have their uses, women do. There is no reason for you to be immune to their lure when the rest of us are not."
He stood and walked to the window, deep in thought, twirling his staff absently. "You are walking a dangerous line, Severus. But at least you are of value to both sides, which offers you a measure of protection. Aurors are poking around my home with increasing frequency. My family is in danger.
"I would like to offer a bit of... mutual protection shall we say. Draco is the last of the Malfoys as you know. Give me your word for the sake of our long friendship that you will do what you can to preserve my line, and I will give you mine that I will do what I can to protect your wench and her pet child."
Severus was immediately suspicious and let it show in face and voice, "What benefit is it to me to risk my position by guarding Draco? You are quite mistaken if you assume the woman and girl are that valuable to me."
Lucius shrugged, "Suit yourself. I expected you would offer Draco what protection you could simply out of loyalty and debt owed to me, as well as the fact that you are his Godfather. I was merely trying to give you something of value in exchange. I do have quite a bit of say these days in choosing targets. You know how the Dark Lord hates Mudbloods."
With great restraint to avoid slugging the man right there and then, Severus shrugged and answered in bored tones, "Your terms are acceptable—the woman and the girl in exchange for Draco. At least until I find something of more value to protect instead. I take these things very seriously as you know, Lucius. If either is injured after this agreement from something you could have prevented, I will not hesitate to kill Draco, Godson or no."
Lucius strode to him quickly as though expecting him to change his mind, and shook his hand, "Accepted and agreed."
Rowena returned then with Lucius's package, and knocked on the door. Lucius opened it with great gallantry and jubilation of spirits.
"Ah, Rowena, I was just commending my dear friend on his bravery. What a heroic thing to save the child as he did. I am sure you must be very proud of him."
Rowena regarded him with an air of suspicion, but did not hesitate to agree, "Yes, I am. But I was proud of him before. He's a good man."
"And a lucky man to have found you at this stage in his life. I do hope to see you again soon. I know my dear Narcissa is planning a dinner party sometime soon. I really don't keep track of the trivialities, but I am sure you will receive an invitation.
"Good evening," he said as he gently took the clinking package and shook her hand warmly. He then left the room, shutting the door as he left with his walking stick, a definite spring in his steps.
Severus, on the other hand, looked quite drained. She sat next to him and peered at him worriedly, "That bad, huh?"
"Lucius was involved in last night's attack," he said simply, and then wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close, needing to feel her warmth.
He actually felt somewhat safer knowing that he had exchanged such an oath with Lucius. The other man did have significant clout when it came to 'choosing targets' as he said. It was incomprehensible to Lucius that Severus wouldn't allow anything to deliberately happen to Draco simply because he was a student at Hogwarts.
Death Eaters liked the dubious sense of security obtained from oaths of honor, and could generally be relied upon to uphold such oaths. Lucius was one who held great stock in the honor of a man's word, and so Severus felt confident enough to make the promise. It made 'his girls' as safe as he could make them in light of the circumstances.
Poppy came in and changed his bandages again. The wounds were healing well. Thanks to Dumbledore's intervention, she relented and said she would allow him out in the morning to teach classes. With the conditions that he return during breaks for fresh bandages and he get plenty of sleep tonight.
To that effect, the nurse began to attempt to chivvy Rowena out of the room, and she would have reluctantly complied.
Severus had other ideas, "No, she stays," he said firmly.
Poppy threw her hands up in disgust but made no further arguments. Rowena blushed crimson, but was very pleased that he wanted her to be with him.
"Lupin, come here," he commanded, pulling the blankets back for her.
"Aren't you going to enlarge the bed?" she asked.
"Seeing as how you have taken my wand, wench, no I am not. Besides, there's plenty of room here. I don't want you that far away."
He finally allowed her to leave long enough to change into pajamas rather than spend another night in her robes. The extreme modesty of her nighttime attire left something to be desired, in his opinion. She wore deep purple silk pajamas that were quite as modest as her usual clothing.
She had braided her hair to sleep, but when she returned to the room he immediately took it out, letting it cascade down in long waves. He ignored her protests against the tangles that would result by morning.
"I like it down. Leave it," he directed, though it was more an appeal than a demand.
She felt incredibly shy and embarrassed for some reason... she had napped with him several times now, slept the night with him last night... but somehow this seemed all more deliberate and suggestive. She was trembling slightly as she sat on the edge of the bed next to where he was already lying.
"Rowena... come here... "
She at last lay down next to him, and he pulled her close. The warm, spicy scent of him filled her senses. He was leaning up on one arm looking down into her face. Her heart was thrumming madly at his nearness and that odd tightening sensation in her abdomen that he so often inspired flooded through her, causing a delicious shudder.
Gently he caressed her face, devouring her with his eyes. Never had she known it was possible to feel so beautiful simply by being... LOOKED at. Still she trembled, though she didn't know why—whether it was fear or anticipation...
"Rowena, I am not going to make love to you tonight," he said softly, bluntly, taking her completely by surprise.
"Oh...," a slight breathy sound was all she managed to make. Was she relieved or disappointed? Even she could not have said, though it was something to know what to expect... or not to expect. And her trembling did ease with the knowledge.
The corners of his mouth lifted as he read the confusion of thoughts pass her visage. "This is hardly the time or place for something that momentous, don't you agree?"
She nodded silently, too overcome at the moment with awareness of him for coherent speech. His slight smile brightened a bit more as he continued, "I just wanted you with me. I have never wanted the presence of another human being since I was a very small child... but I find I am finally ready to admit that I want you with me. Do you mind?"
"No, I don't mind... I like to be with you, you know that."
He smirked and gave a small laugh, "I know it. I can't for the life of me imagine why, but I have come to know it."
"Severus?"
"Yes?"
"I want you to kiss me..."
Slowly, teasingly he lowered his lips to hers. She moaned blissfully against his lips and parted her own to allow him admittance. Tongue tangled with tongue passionately as he pulled her closer. She was afraid of hurting his wounds on his back so instead wrapped an arm around his waist. The other hand wound itself into his hair, clinging to him. He trailed off to her ears and throat, nuzzling her neck with hot kisses as he learned what pleased her.
Her pajama top was too modest to allow him enough access to where he wanted to kiss and taste... As he kissed her he undid the top buttons, loosening the fabric so that he could nibble the sensitive ridge of flesh along her collarbone and shoulder, his hand boldly caressing the gentle swell of her breast through the fabric. She gasped and then moaned in pleasure as he touched her, the hard peak of her nipple rigid against his hand. He draped one muscular leg across hers so that his thigh was deliciously pressed against her feminine core and she arched involuntarily against him.
She could hardly comprehend the sensations that flooded her as he explored her body. The sensual tickle of his hair as it brushed her neck where he was kissing, the firm hardness that was pressing seductively against her thigh, revealing to her his desire as well. And then the sharp thrill of his hand on her breast... she had no idea that being touched there could feel so incredible!
"Severus..." she moaned desperately...
He returned to her lips and kissed her deeply, crushing her chest against his, delighting at the feel of her heart pounding against him. She arched herself against his hardness, pressing her groin against his thigh. She made soft, desperate, whimpering sounds against his lips and his control was nearly lost entirely.
Instead he backed off slightly and redid her top buttons, smiling into her passion darkened eyes.
"How can you DO that?" she asked in frustration.
"Do what?" he asked innocently.
"Just turn that off like that... I'm about to go insane and you're just all calm, cool and collected. It's quite cruel and unfair!"
He stroked her cheek and kissed her gently, "Oh no, Rowena, I'm not the least bit calm or any of those other things... well, cruel we have established many times," he actually grinned at this and kissed her again.
"I find that I'm a bit old-fashioned, which I assure you does surprise me greatly. There will be a time and place for this completion, but this is not it. In the meantime I think it is pleasant to indulge in 'research', don't you think? I'd much rather kiss you to insensibility and deal with the frustration of my body than not taste of your delights at all."
"Why, Severus Snape, I do believe you are a closet romantic," she teased, snuggling into his chest.
"I will never admit to such an insulting accusation," he said, pretending-- rather badly--to be affronted. He kissed her tenderly again and then wrapped her in his arms. In shorter time than might be imagined, they were both blissfully asleep.
A/N: Oh dear, what on earth can it be that Luke—I mean Lucius—has helped Dylan acquire for the teaching of his DADA class? It surely can't be good! Do you really believe Harry will attempt to be more rule-abiding?
I was a bit surprised that Albus let him stay in the meeting, but I think his guilt over Sirius and the consequences of his secrecy of last year still weigh heavily on him. And as much of the discussion involved the Prophecy, which does involve Harry, I think he felt Harry had a right to be present.
Happy Reading!