Fanfiction based in the world of Harry Potter, created by JKR. Her characters are hers. Original characters are mine. No pecuniary rewards. Please see first chapter for full disclaimers and description.
Thank you to my Beta, Elaine!
Chapter 27: Pain, Poison, and Patronuses
Predictably, horribly, and utterly unavoidably, Hermione Granger's parents were the first to be attacked. The Order meeting had barely disbanded when the alarm came. Severus and Rowena were left pacing at Hogwarts waiting for news. Aurors not present at the meeting had been scattered throughout Muggle London and other areas, trying to anticipate which families would be the first targets. Thankfully, the Granger residence had been one of the ones under surveillance.
Severus could not go to assist when others of the Order left in a rush, because of course he could not risk being seen by Death Eaters at something that was supposed to be a 'secret' attack—he had no logical reason for knowing of the incident. Somewhat alarmingly, even the Mark on his arm stayed red and silent, rather than summoning him. He was not sorry to be 'excluded' from the event, but it was another example of the Dark Lord's mounting distrust of him.
Rowena spent the night comforting a pale and crying Hermione in their quarters. Surprisingly, Severus even offered his own brand of 'comfort'—as much as he was able to give. He silently provided a pot of tea and some calming draughts, silenced the room so they would be undisturbed, tended the fire so they would be warm, and then quickly retreated to the bedroom with essays to grade! His conscience nagged him enough that he did occasionally rouse himself from the admittedly enjoyable task of hemorrhaging red ink over student parchment, long enough to peer through the door and assure himself they did not need anything more.
In the end, the house was lost and Mr. Granger's body was never found in the wreckage. The normal method of attack would have been to enter the house and "Avada Kedavra" both while they slept in their beds and then flee, leaving the Dark Mark in the sky above the house. But the Aurors interrupted the attack, and the Death Eaters merely rained destruction down upon the house before Apparating away.
Her mother was rescued and brought to Hogwarts alive, but gravely injured and unconscious, with no way of knowing if or when she would recover. Jonathan Lupin attended her there, not wanting to risk a stealthy attack at St. Mungos to finish the job! The house itself was a burned and disintegrated loss, not unlike the Burrow a few weeks before.
Dean Thomas's parents were brought safely to Hogwarts before their house was destroyed. Mr. And Mrs. Creevey had been believed to be safe from the first round of attacks, as their boys weren't in Harry's year or even particularly good friends with him. This was an error in judgement, and they were lost.
The Death Eaters attacked without mercy, and only Harry's warning spared any at all. Once it was realized that they were attacking ALL the Gryffindor Muggle parents first, the Aurors made short work of bringing the rest to Hogwarts so that the third floor faculty and staff corridor became filled to brimming with frightened, tearful families.
There was no more talk of whether or not Rowena would help with the work at Hogsmeade. Every able-bodied witch or wizard spent every free moment there, working frantically, even the older students when they were off from classes. The Aurors spent the next several weeks shunting the rest of the muggle families to Hogwarts; students were doubled-up in dormitories to make room for the influx of parents and siblings.
Harry, of course, blamed himself. Voldemort attacked those closest to him, always. If not for him, these families would not have been targeted, or so he believed. He withdrew even further into himself, refusing the company of any students, barely deigning to talk to Remus when he visited, and snarling savagely at anyone who showed him the slightest bit of concern.
The Hogsmeade construction progressed apace, and after what happened to the Grangers and Creevey's, there were few that refused the offer of relocation, in spite of the inconveniences. Even the Lupins relocated to Hogsmeade, Becky being muggle-born.
It was a comfort to Rowena to have her parents so close. Molly Weasley was busy with the work as well, overseeing many of the finer details of the construction of the housing, "You can't possibly put the kitchen sink that far from the stove, they'll run their legs off trying to cook a meal!" So Becky Lupin took over much of the guardianship of Katrina and began making plans for a primary school in town. The tiny girl seemed to take all the confusion in stride, and fell in love with Becky at once.
October and November passed in this state of frenzied activity. Severus was called to Voldemort only twice, and both times returned with severe levels of Cruciatus damage, closed and angry, unwilling to discuss what had occurred. Rowena 'officially' joined the Order, as did her parents and many others. The time for excluding herself for her own 'safety' seemed to have passed. She could only be of the most help if she was involved.
More evidence of the Dark Lord's increasing displeasure with Severus arrived in the form of an attempt on the lives of the Weasley twins. Fred and George were still active in their joke shop, and used a wide variety of potions and ingredients in many of their 'gags'. They were quite conscientious in always testing every batch of product on themselves first, to ensure that they were safe and harmless.
It was unknown whether the attempt was designed to put them out of business—had it gone undetected and been sold to the public at large, they would surely have been ruined; or whether the perpetrator knew their habit of testing and intended to kill them. Regardless, the boys were sent to St. Mungos early in November, very near to death from an undetectable poison that had tainted a batch of armadillo bile.
By placing them in a continually refreshed stasis-field, they were kept alive. Severus worked day and night for three full days before he was able to concoct an antidote. Even still, the poison's effect was to instantly corrode their digestive tract, following the natural path of consumption. Had an antidote not been found, it would have literally eaten them from the inside-out until they died. The result was that it was impossible for them to drink the antidote.
Only Jonathan Lupin's dabbling in Muggle medicine as well as Wizarding saved them in the end. He administered the antidote intravenously, to Severus's fascinated horror, and the boys were spared. They were in the hospital several weeks recovering but were out and back in their shop in time for the Christmas rush. Their indomitable sense of humor came through undiminished.
The material point here, however, was that the poison was highly advanced, and was NOT one of Severus's. Voldemort was clearly making a point. His Potion's Master was NOT irreplaceable!
Somehow, through all of this, classes forged ahead. The students did their best to learn, the teachers did their best to teach; all of them felt renewed urgency in the endeavors.
Midterm grades had been sent out, and now the teachers had the added tasks of sending weekly progress reports of the students who had received failing marks to their parents. Each teacher would submit a few lines on the affected students' efforts in regards to their own class, which would be compiled onto one report and sent around for them to sign before sending to the parents. It seemed a laughably mundane concern in light of all the rest, but it was done, clung to as one drop of normalcy in the chaos.
Rowena welcomed the task as one of the few times she saw Severus during the hectic days. He would bring the stack after applying his own signature, and wait patiently while she signed them before taking them on to Minerva. They could have been sent via house elf, but Rowena suspected he was glad of the excuse to see her as well.
His stress these last weeks was extreme, and he had closed himself off from her almost completely, relaxing his guard only late at night when he held her in his arms and made love with her. Even then he did not relax completely, leaving Rowena with an added worry—he seemed to be deliberately trying to distance himself from her. She suspected it had to do with his severe 'questioning' sessions and worry over the Dark Lord discovering his betrayal or their Bonding. Knowing the reason for the distance did not lessen her concern over it.
He entered her office on a rare sunny day late in November, the usual stack of reports in his hands. Crabbe, Goyle, Longbottom, Creevey, even a few Ravenclaws were having trouble in some of their classes from the stress. His glittering black eyes swept over her critically.
"You aren't sleeping enough," he said bluntly.
She accepted the papers with an arch look, "Thank you, dearest, you look lovely yourself. Why aren't you teaching class right now? Isn't this your usual NEWT class time?"
He snorted, "I only wish you to maintain your health. I am not teaching because Howard has received his shipment of whatever it is he's been expecting from 'Luke'. Apparently it is dangerous enough that he wishes to demonstrate it only one time to all the upper years at once. No doubt if it comes from Lucius, that estimation is accurate.
"I would not have agreed to it, of course, but in exchange I am getting my NEWT students out of his class for the entirety of next week." His smirk then was quite wicked. "It will allow me to give the students more difficult potions to have such an uninterrupted period. Not that the dunderheads will succeed in the assignments, but I anticipate being amused by the attempts."
Rowena laughed, "No doubt if the students had a choice, they'd have opted out! I wonder if they know that this brief reprieve from Potions class will cost them four hours straight of Potions next week, three days in a row?"
Severus hummed noncommittally, but it was plain that his sadistic streak was quite looking forward to it! She signed the reports quickly and gathered a basket beside her.
"This is my free afternoon. I promised Katrina a picnic on the grounds if the sun came out. Who knows when it'll be sunny again? Won't you come with us? We've hardly seen you in ages. Hogsmeade is nearly complete; it might be fun to see what Dylan has in store for his students. We could watch and you could point out all the things he's doing wrong."
It was clear he intended to refuse... but the lure of being able to deride the cowboy was simply too tempting. "Very well, I will take these to Minerva and meet you on the grounds."
She smiled radiantly at him and stepped around her desk, standing on tip-toe to kiss him on the cheek. He turned his head and claimed her mouth, snaking an arm around her to pull her close. With a contented sigh, she melted against him as always, meeting his stroking tongue with her own, sharing the brief, stolen moment together.
Too soon, he released her, "Go on, then," he chided, as though it had been she who had lingered. "Don't keep Katrina waiting, I'll be there shortly."
The grounds were indeed awash in sunlight, though it was very cold. The frozen blades of grass crunched under their feet as she and Katrina made their way out onto the lawns. Dylan could be seen with a large huddle of students around him, and a very tall upright chest next to him.
Rowena laid their thick quilted blanket in the sun, absorbing what warmth they could from its wintry rays. She adjusted the child's hat and scarf against the chill, Katrina's fair cheeks already rosy from the cool breeze. The little girl was almost bouncing with excitement—Rowena had told her that Severus would be joining them, so that she could hardly contain herself.
The "picnic" consisted of snacks and treats, biscuits and treacle tarts, Cornish Pasties and hot cocoa. Neither Molly nor Becky would approve of such fare, but Rowena had decided to be indulgent.
Katrina stared avidly at the grouped students, and Rowena watched as well. Dylan's voice carried easily across the lawns. She felt more than a little curious to know what could be in the huge chest. Harry Potter happened to glance over at them, his face closed and sullen; the self-imposed isolation of the last several weeks telling on him so that he was thin and peaky. He had continued to attend his Occlumency lessons, and surprisingly had continued to show a desperate, almost savage determination to improve.
What startled Rowena at this moment, however, and warmed her even more than the bright sun and hot cocoa, was the sudden flash of a smile that crossed Harry's face as he looked over at them. For an instant, she thought he was glad to see her for some reason, but then she realized that Katrina was waving at him enthusiastically, and he grinned and waved back.
"That's Harry," she said, her childish lisp made it sound like "Dat's Hawwy". "He's my friend. He's real sad too. His mummy and daddy got deaded by the bad men, just like mine. The bad men are hurting his friends' mummies and daddies now, too. Harry's gonna make the bad men go away."
She said it with the matter-of-fact innocence of a child, the blind trust of her new friend, and the absence of grief of a child who has lost loved ones too young to realize the implications of 'forever'.
Rowena could not swallow the bit of biscuit in her mouth around the sudden lump in her throat. Thankfully Severus appeared at that moment, his long form casting a shadow across their blanket before he lowered himself gracefully upon it.
Katrina squealed and threw herself upon him, her arms around his neck, instantly jabbering in German. Across the lawn Harry's smile disappeared as suddenly as it arrived, and he turned his attention back to the class at hand.
Severus spoke comfortably with Katrina, but his eye took in the plethora of treats on the blanket. It was clear as well that his attention was at least partially directed toward the lesson across the lawn. Dylan seemed to be reviewing with the class the proper way to conjure a Patronus.
"Lupin," he said suddenly, and the easy switch from German to English took her by surprise so that it took a moment for him to realize he was talking to her. She raised her brow archly, knowing he still liked to call her 'Lupin' in public to tease her. "Do tell me, is there anything in this 'picnic' that has a vague resemblance to nutrition? Anything of substance? Perhaps something that does not threaten Diabetic coma upon consumption? Or did you in fact allow Albus Dumbledore to pack your picnic?"
"Nothing at all, Snape," she said teasingly in return, "We are having a 'junk food picnic'. I was well able to pack it myself... well, the house elves did."
"A 'junk food picnic'? Good lord, what is the purpose of that?" he asked, aghast at the very idea. He snorted then and frowned, watching Katrina eat a particularly gooey bit of chocolate fudge.
"The purpose is to be a child and have fun, no matter what is occurring in the outside world. Every child needs an occasional Junk Food Picnic. Didn't you ever have one?"
"I should think not!" he exclaimed, as though the very idea was abhorrent.
She laughed and handed him a chocolate chip biscuit. "Then you were robbed of one of the true joys of childhood, Severus, and I insist you partake now."
"Hmmm," he hummed noncommittally through his nose, but accepted the cookie without argument.
"It's only just occurred to me to ask," she said after a thoughtful silence, handing him a cup of hot cocoa. "Where did you learn German?"
He raised his brow incredulously as he stared at the cup. "Even the beverage must be nutritionally corrupt in this ritual?"
"Yes," she said decisively.
He gave a long-suffering sigh as he accepted the cocoa, but then finally answered her previous question.
"My mother taught me, obviously. She was fluent in French, German, and English. My father wished me to be taught German. For many years after the defeat of Grindlewald--whom my grandfather Snape actively supported of course—it was believed that the true strength of the Dark Arts would still rise from that nation, so all Snapes were taught the language."
He was still scowling as he withdrew a handkerchief from his robes and began trying, not very successfully, to cleanse chocolate off of the sticky toddler. "Have you heard Howard mention what mysterious prize he has in the crate? I am highly suspicious. It was provided by Lucius and appears to require a Patronus to neutralize. This does not bode well."
She shook her head, "I don't know. He was talking about something from Texas, and "Luke" was "right kind enough to get one shipped over"."
Severus snorted, "I assure you whatever Lucius did, it was not out of kindness. I think it might be prudent if you would take Katrina inside before it's opened."
"Severus, don't be ridiculous," she said, laughing. "Even Lucius Malfoy wouldn't try to sneak something truly dangerous onto the grounds! Besides there are the three of us, fully qualified wizards, plus all of the advanced students, many of whom are very, very good. Whatever is in that crate can't possibly be a risk on Hogwarts grounds against so many. Don't be a spoil sport, I want to watch."
He glowered at her for laughing at him, but said no more on the subject. However, she noticed that he released his wand from its holder in his sleeve for speedy retrieval.
For nearly an hour the students practiced the Patronus Charm at Dylan's instruction, and even Severus could not find much to criticize. He was firm with the students who were goofing off, quick to praise the students who had it down, and patiently helpful with the ones who were struggling.
All of the students who were in Harry's "DA" club had the charm mastered already, of course, with the exception of Neville.
By the end of the hour, all of the students except Neville had created their own Patronus, and were chattering happily about the form that the creature took, and why they thought their Patronus had that particular form.
"What is yours?" Severus asked suddenly across the companionable silence that had reigned off and on while they watched the class.
It was Rowena's turn to snort. "You know we didn't learn Patronuses until sixth year when I was in school, right? Well, mine is..."She cast him a glance that was simultaneously embarrassed and apologetic, "Mine is a wolf. I can only imagine that it's because in spite of everything Remus was the primary happy and protective figure in my life, and even after I knew he was a werewolf, that didn't change. He was still my first 'champion', I guess."
He nodded, but said nothing, his eyes now glued to the crate. Howard had moved to it, and was again talking about the use of Patronus back in the 'States'.
"They're real solitary creatures, and they sneak up on you all unawares. If they make a fella all froze with fright before he sees 'em, then they can feed to their heart's content. So you wanna know your Patronus Charm real good. Even if you don't know if somethin's there, just do it anyway. It never hurts, and a Patronus can give you courage in all sorts of situations. We call 'em "Soul Suckers" back home."
"Rowena, get Katrina to the castle, NOW," Severus commanded, standing suddenly, wand raised and alert as the crate door opened.
His urgent tone of voice frightened her more than the idea of seeing one solitary "Soul Sucker" whatever that might be. She complied unthinkingly with the command and the accompanying emotion he sent her through their bond—something he had rarely done of late, but clearly did now to punctuate the need for haste.
She picked Katrina up and began heading toward the castle, but horrified screams reached her ears. She even heard Dylan cursing, yelling, "Shut the crate, shut the crate, help me shut the crate!"
The chill of the day seemed worse than she had remembered, and it was darkening strangely, as though storm clouds had suddenly come and blocked out the sun. Her first concern was to get Katrina inside the safety of the castle. But like Lot's wife, she could not resist the desire to turn her head and see what was emerging from the crate.
Dementors. Not one Dementor, or even a few Dementors... dozens upon dozens of Dementors were pouring out of the open crate door in a black, icy wave. Dylan was fighting valiantly against the draining effects of their presence, trying to force the door shut. Rowena, in an odd, distant, analytical part of her brain, recognized that the crate did not contain the creatures at all, but was merely used as a gateway. If Dylan couldn't get it shut, more would keep pouring out of it indefinitely.
Most of the students were screaming, running chaotically in all directions, anything to get away from the low, sweeping forms.
The bone-numbing cold pierced her, and poor little Katrina fainted dead away in her arms as several of the horrible forms approached their location. Rowena felt as though she were in a nightmare—one of those horrible nightmares where one can see the wicked thing approaching, one knows what one needs to do, but it is impossible to scream, to move, to act... One can only stand in abject panic, watching the terror approach yet unable to do anything to stop it.
The Dementors were not here to attack the school in general. They were not even here to attack the students, though it was plain that they would do so if allowed the opportunity. No, these Dementors were clearly well and fully in the control of the Dark Lord, and they were merely here on an errand.
Several Dementors guarded the crate, holding the gateway open. Others swooped here and there across the lawns, terrifying the students and keeping them disorganized, trying to prevent them from using the one charm that would be effective against them.
But others headed for their main goal, their apparent purpose for being there. Voldemort wanted a hostage. Voldemort had a particular hostage in mind. A ring of a dozen or more Dementors approached Rowena where she stood, helpless and trembling, clutching Katrina's limp form to her. Her senses were flooded with vivid sounds and images washing over her; memories from the fire at the Burrow when she had thought both Katrina and Severus were lost.
An icy cold hand gripped her arm, and it was only sheer force of will that prevented her from losing consciousness as well. She held Katrina tighter and dug her heels in, willing her mind to stay clear enough to resist.
Not all was chaos, after all. The "DA", first fearing that Harry was the target, had formed up around him, and soon cries of "Expecto Patronum" were heard ringing loud and clear across the lawns. The other students, emboldened by the uplifting sight of the silvery, shimmering creatures in the artificial gloom also began adding their voices, their Patronuses. Dylan's Patronus, unsurprisingly, was a horse, and it quickly battered the Dementors near the crate away, so that he was able to shut it at last.
Still the creatures surrounding her were clutching her, grabbing at her, pulling her slowly, inexorably toward the crate, no doubt planning to reopen it somehow, or maybe unable to think beyond their basic instructions. Rowena's conscious will to fight was draining inevitably away even as it seemed that the students and Dylan might manage to regain control of the situation after all.
Suddenly a deep, booming voice sounded from the murky shadows near the small hill they had picnicked upon, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"
An enormous eagle, many times the natural size of such a bird, flew toward the Dementors surrounding her, and massive smoky talons clawed and scraped at the hooded figures. The sharp curved beak raked savagely at shadowed faces, massive wings buffeted the creatures from all sides. They were overwhelmed and beaten back, moving off and away, the other Patronuses chasing them into shadows of the Forrest and beyond, but the eagle did not leave Rowena, hovering over her protectively.
Rowena had slumped to the ground when the icy grip left her, curling her body protectively around the child still held in her arms. She heard voices as Dumbledore, McGonagall, and several other teachers poured out of the building behind her.
Strong arms wrapped around her, helping her sit upright, Katrina still cradled in HER arms. She heard rather than saw Harry approach.
"Professor, I'm alright. I'll carry Katrina for you."
Her vision was fuzzy, but Severus must have permitted it, because the tiny child was carefully lifted away from her, and then Severus carried her inside, followed closely by Harry with Katrina.
"You, my dear fool, are a Pillar of Salt," said a voice much too thick with emotion to carry off the scathing remark with satisfactory snark, and quiet enough not to be overheard by Potter.
"Your Patronus is an eagle," she said weakly, but still full of awe. The crest on the carriage that had belonged to his mother had displayed an eagle. She was distantly surprised that her Dementor-befuddled mind could manage to recall such trivial details at such a time.
"So it would seem. My mother would be delighted, my father horrified. Now stay here and eat chocolate. Your childhood ritual apparently will get to continue for a time yet," he deposited her gently upon one of the cots in the hospital wing, satisfied that there was nothing severely wrong with her.
Katrina was soon with her, cuddled at her side, so that she was content and made no protests.
The rest of the group from the lawn poured in quickly after Severus, so that Poppy was quite overwhelmed for a time. Dylan refused to take any chocolate until everyone else was treated, and stood next to Dumbledore begging the Headmaster to accept his resignation at once.
When all the students, Katrina and teachers involved had been heavily dosed with chocolate, Albus beckoned the adults to his office. Severus tried to make Rowena stay in the hospital, but she wouldn't hear of it.
Dylan spoke first, wringing his fancy hat in his hands, pacing the room with spurs jangling, "I'm right sorry, Headmaster. I'll book a Portkey home at once, sir. I was as gullible as a newborn calf, and that ain't no way to be teachin' kids defense."
"Dylan, before you continue with your self-flagellation, please tell me what you intended for today's lesson?" Albus interrupted him; his words were serious, but not unkind. "I was under the impression that you had secured a creature from the United States upon which to practice the Patronus. As that is a highly useful charm that I definitely want our students to know, I felt that was a reasonable lesson plan.
"I take it you were not expecting Dementors to come out of that chest?"
"Well heck no, Professor! Dementors you call 'em, huh? We ain't got Dementors in the 'States. What we got is Soul-Suckers. The effect is kinda the same, I 'spect, but I ain't never seen but one Soul-Sucker at a time. They's right territorial, don't take a fancy to another Soul-Sucker on their turf, see? It takes a Patronus to get rid o'one, but they's real easy to deal with. Sunlight weakens them a whole bunch. Any one o'them kids 'cept poor Neville coulda taken a Soul-Sucker by themselves.
"I practiced the Patronus with each o'them loads o'times in class, and we worked for a good hour today before I open'd the crate.
"I ain't never seen them things that came out o'that crate before in my life."
The brim of his hat was curled and bent almost beyond recognition as he fretted at it, still pacing.
"I have to say I'm not usually so easily suckered. Luke's been right nice to me ever since we met. I've seen him talkin' to you, I've seen him talkin' to that Fudge feller that runs your Ministry, I've heard folks talk about all the charities he gives his money to. He's a right grand friend of Sev's.... oh.. I mean Professor Snape. Came to see him when he and the little filly was hurt in the fire and all. I never dreamed he'd do somethin' like this.
"When he asked if I needed anything, I talked to him about the Patronus lesson, and wishin' I could send home for a Soul-Sucker. But they're so hard to ship, see? And Luke was just sure he could get one for me.
"The thing is, Headmaster, sir... you might not believe this, but I swear on my horse Jake that it's the plumb honest truth... I opened that crate last week when it come, and it had a Soul-Sucker inside it, right as rain. I put a stasis charm on it so it wouldn't starve until I could pick a right sunny day to practice for the safety of the kids."
Albus nodded. "I believe you, Dylan. I do not accept your resignation, though I do insist that you inform me of any and all suppliers you use to obtain materials for your class from now on. I have a large list of accepted sources, and would be glad to help you obtain anything more exotic that you might need.
"Please do not use Lucius Malfoy as a supplier anymore. I do not know if he was equally deceived as you were, or if he was the culprit, but either way I do not wish you to accept anything from him to use at this school. What you accept privately between friends and acquaintances is your business, though I would urge caution there as well."
When Dylan left the room Rowena spoke first, "Albus, you know full well Lucius did that on purpose!"
"Yes, Rowena," said Severus before Albus could respond, "But Dylan must not know that. We have no idea of his loyalties, even now. However, I do not believe he had any deliberate part in the incident today. It was too well planned.
"Had he been as bungling of a teacher as his ridiculous accent suggests, no doubt it would have been successful. It would have only taken one or two Dementors to get you into that gate and their mission would have been accomplished. Instead, he did everything right. The students were well prepared, he chose a very bright day, and he recognized the primary danger of the gate, and closed it as soon as he was able to do so."
The incident served one very important purpose beyond that which was intended by any of the parties and even beyond that of allowing Severus to successfully perform a Patronus charm at last. It showed him clearly that Rowena was absolutely in danger, and that it was time for him to plan steps to remove her from that threat. By any means necessary.
Additionally, it showed him that Lucius needed reminding of their oath.
A/N: Oh, poor Hermione! I hated to do that, I really did! And Harry... still withdrawing. Things will get better for him, I promise... but Severus and Rowena are in for a bit of a rocky road.
We will see Lucius again next chapter. Severus is 'seriously displeased'. Tonks is coming soon, I promise; she will not be able to remain in her undercover role much longer.
Thank you again for all the kind feedback and encouragement. It is truly very motivating! And once again HUGE thank you to Elaine! Without her gentle nudges I would not have gotten 'rolling' again so soon! And now I must thank my "beta's beta"—Elaine's husband was able to offer some wonderful advice that really helped me over a huge dilemma! THANK YOU!