I AM NO LONGER PERKY!
Please untie me….
AN: Like no one is reading this, but I enjoy writing it very, very much, so if those of you who have fondled my story and have found it pleasurable please review? And thanks to those who've taken the time to read my story, I hope you've enjoyed it.
Ginny and Colin are pretty OOC, but hey, I figure they are apart of the supporting cast and I can do what I like, after all, the books don't delve too much into detail when it comes to these two. And I certainly don't know their specific relationship (I've only read up to the fourth book…. I'm a little out of touch…. But I'm going for different, not accurate). (If you want accurate go read the fucking books, I mean right, really. Good.)
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Hermione Granger was stuck, yes, still, even after three potions, twelve bogus predictions, and one reading of tea leaves that came to the conclusion that Hermione was undoubtedly, undeniably, indisputably stuck forever. There was no one, not even Harry Potter; that could save her from her irrefutable demise.
"Severus, you've tried amiably, your efforts are certainly commendable, your skills unsurpassed, but Miss Granger will not profit from your heroic endeavors, that is what I see in my crystal ball, and it's what I've seen in my crystal ball!" Trelawny waved her hands in the air, putting on a knowing façade.
"I'm quite au fait with Miss Granger's current state, I've seen it over and over in my seeings. Such a sad affair, surely." She paused dramatically, bringing her hands together and bowing her head. Harry looked at her incredulously.
"You're telling me you knew?" Trelawny looked up at him with a stone serious face.
"Of course I knew, my child. I can see these sorts of things, after all I have the sight."
"Alright, if you knew then why didn't you tell anyone so this could have been prevented?" Harry seethed, upset about Hermione, tired, and annoyed with Trelawny's bogus predictions. He glared at her, daring her to defend herself. But she misunderstood his anger, mistaking it as his belief and actual anger for her not disclosing the future before it came to pass.
"Harry, my boy, I understand you're angry that I never told you the terrible truths I foresaw, but it wouldn't have mattered, it is what is quite frustrating about having the eye, the ability to see, because no matter how terrible I know the future is going to be there is nothing I can do about it! The future will come as it will come, even if I'd told you about your friends fate it wouldn't have stopped the inevitable. Fate is fate. Oh, what a terrible curse I have! To see the future, but not be able to do anything about it!" She posed, the back of her hand on her forehead, her head thrown back and to the side theatrically.
"If you can't do anything about it," Harry said through clenched teeth, his eyes narrow, "then why are you here?" Trelawny faltered for a moment, her extravagant veneer fractured. Her mouth swung open to retort, but when nothing came to mind she pursed her lips together and swooped to the portrait where she moaned loudly.
"My dear boy, I am essential." Was all she said before exiting dramatically. There was a collective feeling of relief, which was temporarily ruined as she stuck her head back in and said:
"Severus, darling, we will continue our chat from earlier at a later date, hmmm?" Both Severus and Pansy paled considerably.
Hermione was still stuck.
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"These are going to bring in so much money!" Colin cried in delight, petting and kissing his camera. Ginny watched in disgust, but was intrigued at the prospect of money.
"You said these Malfoy pictures, they are quite lucrative?"
"Outstandingly." Colin replied, braggingly.
"I want a part of it."
"What? No way." Ginny shoved Colin roughly against the wall, prying his camera out of his hands. He protested violently, but she was stronger than him, keeping him securely against the wall.
"Give me back my camera!" She just smirked. "You said I was the one who was turning into a Slytherin? You're one to talk."
"Look you slimy little perverted maggot, I got lots of dirt on you, first of all, I know that if you hadn't put that little memory charm on Draco just now he'd kill you for taking his picture, now I wonder what he would think of these pictures of him in the shower, or the ones of him masturbating? I wonder if he'd let you die quickly or if he'd torture you for a while, because my guess would be torture. Not to mention you'd be expelled! Labeled as a-"
"I get it, for Christ's sake, you don't have to repeat yourself! Just don't do anything to my camera." Ginny thrust the camera back into his greedy little paws and put her hands on her hips.
"Well, do I get a piece of the pie or what?" Colin sneered.
"I work alone. Stupid Weasely's, always desperate for money. HOWever, I can turn you onto to someone, the kid who runs the black market around here, regulates everything—he'll set you up with profitable business."
"I don't want to work for anyone. I didn't realize that Hogwarts had a black market."
"Oh, it does. This guy can turn you onto some worthwhile endeavors; he was the one who turned me onto the demand of Malfoy pictures. He can help you out, I promise." Ginny mulled over what he'd said, considering all the possibilities. An black market could be bad news, she thought.
'But isn't this what I wanted? An adventure? Maybe I'll discover a prostitution ring or a drug ring or better yet a slave ring, and then I could go undercover, get the down-low, and then tell Dumbledore- I'll be the hero! I'll have my adventure.' And so Ginny agreed to meet this mysterious leader of the Black Market.
"Who is it? What's his name?" She inquired, following Colin closely.
"He is all around up, he has eyes everywhere. He can probably see us now."
"God?" Ginny spat sarcastically, "Come on, stop being so fucking cryptic, I'm gonna meet them in a minute, why can't I know who it is now?"
"Because that would ruin the surprise, haven't you ever heard of suspense? Let the tension build, feel the apprehension, be filled with anticipation and anxiety!"
"What are you, a thesaurus. Cut it out. Fine, I'll go along with the suspense."
"Thank you."
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Remus Lupin sat in his office, at his desk grading last Tuesdays tests. He was quite involved with his work that he didn't hear his door open. What did attract his attention, however, was the overbearing smell of incense and perfume. He looked up to she a flustered Professor Trelawny in front of his desk.
"Well, how did everything go?" He asked, trying to remain as serious as possible, but despite his efforts a devilish smile played on his lips. Trelawny huffed a little, pressing her hands to her temples then waving them in front of her face.
"I saw it would have gone wonderfully well if there hadn't been a distraction, which I had also foreseen mind you." Lupin's smile fell.
"A distraction? Then nothing happened?"
"Nothing of any consequence, but he was interested, just like you'd said, I even read his palm and I—" She blushed, placing her hand on her cheek and muttering 'Oh, My!" This prompted Lupins smile to return. "Of course I'd seen this already, I knew that he liked me, but I wasn't quite sure if I should move or wait for him! It was because of your encouragement, I can't believe he has lasted this long, it's so obvious he is in love with me, practically everyone can see it! Why he has been falling head over heels for me, tripping over his love, practically incoherent when I'm around him. Gets so flustered! And he's so shy, too!"
"You just need to keep going for him, he really does like you a lot."
"Oh, I know! If you could've seen him! Like a little school boy! And here I am blushing like a young little school girl! I feel so giddy!"
"You look absolutely stunning, why if I didn't know that Snape had a crush on you I think I'd date you myself!" Lupin said, barely able to keep himself from laughing. Trelawny giggled profusely, covering her face with her hands.
"Why Professor Lupin, I do believe you are flirting with me! You are a naughty, naughty man! You know my heart belongs to Severus!" Lupin smiled even more, it was now spread from one ear to the other, he leaned back and folded his hands on his chest looking quite proud of his handiwork. 'Never too old to pull a prank!' He thought to himself.
"…However, what you've said gives me an idea!" Trelawny continued, winking at him. Lupin cocked his head to the side. "Severus is so shy, I can hardly imagine him ever trying to make a move—"
"You just have to be patient, like I've told you he really does like you."
"Yes, but I think he might need some encouragement, a push in the right direction if you will, to make him admit his feelings. Now, what if you and I put on that we're going together," Lupin's smiled vanished. "We'll put on a show, you'll hold my hand, whisper sweet nothings in my ear, kiss me—"
"K-k-kiss you? I really don't think this is a good idea!"
"Nonsense, it's a brilliant idea! You do want to see Severus and I together and happy don't you?"
"More than anything, but this won't work."
"Of course it will, as soon as he sees you and me together he'll go into a jealous rage, challenge you to a duel, and when he wins he'll grab me and kiss me, proclaiming his love so that everyone can hear. Won't it be romantic?"
"Terribly." Lupin sat forward, running his hands through his hair. "But do you think it will work like that?"
"Think? I know! I foresee it happening that way, that's why we must put on the pretense of having a relationship! You told me yesterday you'd do anything you could to help." Lupin gulped, regretting not only what he'd said but everything he'd done. It was Snape that was supposed to be in hell, not him.
"Come now, It's time for diner and you're going to escort me there, arm in arm." She pulled Lupin out from behind his desk and entwined their arms together. Trelawny flushed noticeably.
"Now, when we get down there you have to tell me how beautifully radiant I am and kiss me, and I'll feed you!"
When they got to the dining hall, arm in arm, the whole hall fell silent. Then whispers exploded, along with chuckles, giggles, and out right laughing. Even the exhausted Gryffindors managed to laugh, though Harry looked more confused than amused. Snape was smiling happily at Lupin's misfortune and the fact that she wasn't trying to get into his pants anymore. Lupin hung his head in shame and embarrassment as Trelawny dragged him up to the teachers table. She leaned in close to his ear after they'd sat down and commanded:
"Say it now, and say it loud and clear so he can hear you." Lupin closed his eyes and grimaced.
"You are beautifully radiant tonight, my dear." He spoke softly and to the table, no one heard. Trelawny pinched his arm and demanded he say in louder.
"You're beautifully radiant tonight, m-my dear." The whole hall laughed, well, some girls 'awwwwed', and Ron gagged in disgust. Snape smirked, watching as Trelawny proceeded to feed Lupin, who looked ready to cry. Without having to worry about Trelawny anymore, Snape focused his attention on McGonagall.
"Have you seen Hermione yet?" She looked up at his questionably.
"It's Sunday, why would I have seen her today? Is there something wrong?"
"You haven't heard?"
"Heard what?"
"I assumed, since you are the head of the house that you would've heard." Minerva was getting quite annoyed, she didn't like being strung along, left out, played with, or any of those types of annoying things that kept her out of the loop and ill-informed.
"Heard what, Severus." The impatience in her voice was obvious, Snape bolstered a bit, taking a bite of his Kidney Pie, determined to be the one in charge of the conversation and take advantage of the fact that he had the upper hand. That he knew something that she didn't know, that always tickled Snape, when her knew more than other people. Which is probably why he taught, he enjoyed screaming at and correcting students every time they messed up, it made him not only feel powerful, but also smart and wise.
"She's stuck." He said simply, as if he assumed she would know what he was talking about. Her nose flared in anger, her lips pursed so tightly together until they were just a line.
"What do you mean stuck, Severus? Do you expect me to guess?" By this time the two had attracted attention from other professors, including Lupin who jumped into the conversation, desperate to get away from Trelawny.
"Is she stuck in a hole?" He offered, but Snape shook his head.
"In a room?" Dumbledore guessed.
"No." Snape sneered, a little impatient, as if everyone was supposed to know what stuck meant. Minerva finally had enough.
"Just get out with it, Severus, where and how is Miss Granger stuck?" She snapped angrily. Snape looked a bit put out, but buckled under her glare unable to keep up his bravado, and explained what had happened to Hermione.
"Why wasn't I informed?" McGonagall cried, standing up quickly and making her way to the Gryffindor tower. Lupin stood to follow also.
"Wait, I'll come help!" He offered.
"No, you enjoy your date with Trelawny." Snape smirked, before sweeping after McGonagall. Crest fallen, Lupin sat back down; muttering obscenities under his breath.
"What's the matter darling?"
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"It's dinner, I'm hungry. Can't we go eat and come back later?" Ginny whined. They were in an old unused storage room, it was dark, dirty and seedy. Truthfully Ginny didn't feel one hundred percent safe, after what had happened in her first year she'd always been on edge. For all she knew Colin was under the imperious spell like or some death eater polyjuiced to look like him, for all she knew this was another trap.
"Stop whining. We wait here for him, just like you wanted."
"Great, so we're here not eating dinner, waiting for a guy who probably is eating dinner."
"Look, you can leave, but this was a one time offer." Ginny frowned and leaned against the wall, stupidly she'd given Colin back his pictures. Now she had no leverage over him and wasn't feeling as confident as she was before. 'Colin is a pervvy, who could try to rape you, or get you nude and take pictures of you!'
"I'm not posing for any of your nasty pictures." Colin just laughed.
"There is no demand for you." Ginny looked offended.
"None what so ever?" It wasn't like Ginny was unattractive, she had long legs, a large bust, and cute, curly red hair.
"Sorry babe, none." She clenched her teeth.
"Don't call me babe." Just as Ginny was about to grab Colin, the leader of the Black Market walked in, finishing off a piece of pie.
"This your girlfriend Colin?" Ginny looked up to see in front of her not a guy like Colin had said, but instead Millicent Bulstrode.
"Bulstrode? Colin, you said it was a 'he'!" Colin just shrugged, picking up his camera and walking over to Millicent.
"Why's the Weaselette here?" Millicent, who in her younger day had been a boxy, square-jawed girl, with an ugly face, looking more like a boxer than a little girl, had grown into her body quite well. She didn't have the same boxy shape, she wasn't stick thin, but rather soft, not round or plump, and her face while not striking was pretty and matured. However, despite her change in appearance the Gryffindors still cruelly used nicknames like 'The Boxer' or 'Ape Girl'.
"She wants a job, but hold on a second because I have some great new pictures of Draco for you! You won't believe your eyes." Colin excitedly began to magically develop the photos.
"Really? I didn't think you'd be able to get good shots after the professors intervention." Colin held out the developed pictures to Millicent, who gasped when she saw the content.
"I guess they didn't have too much affect, at least not on his love life." Flipping through the pictures Millicent laughed in astonishment.
"You're a genius Colin! These are going to be worth a lot on the streets, I'll get you a list of clients who'll really go for this kind of thing. How on earth did you get these, he looks so desperate and angry." She reached into her bag and pulled out a pouch of money.
"You've done well Colin. You're my ace, I can always count on you to push quality. Now, about this Weasel wanting a job, what's she interested in?"
"I don't know, ask her yourself, if you're all done with me I think I'll be on my way."
"No you don't, you're going to have to show her the ropes, once I assign her a job that is. Now, lets see, what can you do?" Millicent walked around Ginny, sizing her up.
"I'm good at whatever you want me to be good at." Millicent laughed.
"Means you're talent less. I can't do anything with you if you got no specialties." Ginny was furious, she didn't want to be looked down on by a Slytherin or have less talent then Colin Creevy. She thought hard, what could she do. She was a good damsel in distress, she could be rather brassy, brazen, and bossy, she had more brothers then she needed, she set up both Hermione and her Brother and Dean and Lavender, she had flaming red hair and freckles… wait…
"I'm a matchmaker."
"A what?"
"Matchmaker. I can set people up together." Millicent furrowed her brow.
"Intriguing, but how does playing cupid turn a profit?"
"Well, we could put together comprehensive books of data about all the singles girls and guys in Hogwarts, then we have our clients look through the books and choose the person they'd like to be matched with, the harder the match, like the more popular the person, the more expensive." Millicent thought, stroked her chin, and then slapped Ginny on the back.
"Great idea. But I hate it. It's too pure. Why not the opposite."
"The opposite..you mean breaking people up." Millicent nodded enthusiastically. "I don't get it." Ginny confessed.
"Matchmaking is great, but it's too cliché and who knows how well it will work, but people hate breaking up, it's awkward, but with a middle man to do it, or set something up that will for sure cause a break up, do you see what I'm getting at? Good. Also, we could cater to people who want to see a specific couple broken up, like a jealous ex, or something. It's perfect."
Perfect or Disastrous?
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The night wrapped up like so: Ginny is now working for Millicent as a Breaker-upper
Hermione, despite the best efforts of her housemates, Pansy, Snape, and McGonagall is still stuck.
Lupin, after a few hours of cat and mouse chasing finally escaped Trewlany's clutches.
And yes, Draco is still bound and gagged. Poor, poor Draco.
Now, for Harry Potters thought's:
Harry Potter was rather well adjusted, I mean considering everything, he is a fairly normal kid who happens to be a wizard and who happens to be a hero and who happens to have a mortal enemy. But he's going to school, he has friends, he plays sports, crams the night before tests, and has a crush on his rival: One angle faced, platinum blonde, Slytherin, Draco Malfoy.
Which adds yet another twist to the whole "normal kid", because now he is also gay:
Insert internal conflict here if you like that kind of stuff.
Tonight, despite being absorbed in trying to fix Hermione, Harry couldn't get the thoughts of Draco Malfoy bound and gagged out of his mind. It wasn't that he was into the whole S&M bondage thing, but Draco looked sexy tied up and defenseless like that. He imagined Draco on his bed, hands tied to the bed posts with Harry's Gryffindor Standard Uniform Tie, smirking up at him, platinum blonde hair falling into his eyes. Delicious.
Insert more internal conflict here if that would bring you more satisfaction.
Harry lay in bed, hand wrapped around his cock, jerking off while looking at a picture of Draco doing the same, compliments of Colin Creevy. He closed his eyes as he came, letting out a moan of pleasure. Afterwards he lay in bed, the picture locked safely away where no one would find it, and wondered if Draco was even gay? What would his friends think? What would the world think? Could a national hero just come out? Were hero's who fought the Dark Lord even allowed to be gay? Would they assign some one else the prophecy?
His insecurities were just that insecurities, rather unfounded and absurd insecurities at that, after, how do you fire a hero, how do you replace a legend? But Harry couldn't bear the thought of being shoved into a cupboard and forgotten again, no, he'd rather be in his closet than his cupboard.
(Look, I did the internal conflicts for you… sort )
A/N: this is where today's chapter ends, I'm sorry that Draco didn't get unbound, but that will be the first thing that happens in the next chapter.
And this will officially turn into a HD story after this.
Watch Jon Stewart and listen to good music.