A/N: I did mention these are (mostly) unconnected, right? Also, many thanks to those of you who have reviewed, it makes my day!

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#3 - jolt!

Things That Go Bump In The Night

- in which we learn how to deal with uninvited guests -

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It must have been sometime around one o'clock in the morning that Pansy Parkinson jolted awake, certain that she had just heard a noise.

After a moment of feeling vaguely embarrassed about what a horribly clichéd girlfriend she was being, she nudged the man sleeping next to her.

"Ron! Hey, Ron, wake up!"

Ron mumbled something that with a lot of good will might have been considered a yes, turned and blinked owlishly at her.

"I heard a noise."

"'S probably just the ghoul in the attic," Ron mumbled, closing his eyes and drawing the covers over his face.

"We don't have a ghoul, we're not at your parents'," Pansy retorted, getting a bit annoyed.

The only answer she got was a jumbled "mmm".

She was just about to pull the covers off of him to get him awake when she was interrupted by a loud crash from the other room, followed by a string of some very colourful expletives.

This time, Ron heard it as well. Frowning, he got out of bed and grabbed his wand from the night stand. Pansy followed his example, and they opened the door.

On the floor of their small living room was the Boy Who Lived (Twice), his feet very complicatedly tangled in an invisibility cloak and a chair, and a murderous look on his face.

"Harry?"

Harry's face lit up as he saw them. "Ron! You have to hide me! I'm not here, ok?"

He somehow managed to free himself from the chair and the cloak and put the thing back on, disappearing from their sight.

Pansy blinked. "What's going on? How did you get in? What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighbourhood, and then they spotted me, and I had to hide somewhere, and you have to hide me!"

"They? Who are they? Is You Know Who Back?"

They didn't get an answer, though, as they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

They could hear a faint 'meep' from approximately where Harry was supposed to be, and felt something sweep past them.

Ron looked at Pansy.

"I suppose You Know Who wouldn't bother to knock, now, would he?"

They went to open the door, wands still out.

It wasn't an Evil Overlord or a Death Eater, but the figure still struck terror into their hearts.

It was Rita Skeeter, a photographer in tow. She swept into the room without a word, looking around.

Harry?" she called. "Where are you?"

"Umm... Harry's not here," Ron told her.

Rita glared at him. "Sure he is. He was just around here, and you're his friend. Where else would he have disappeared to?"

Ron shrugged. "Who knows, Harry is good at disappearing."

Rita gave him another haughty glare, and then critically scanned the room in front of her.

"Then why is that chair knocked over? And what were all those noises we heard from here?" she demanded.

"Uh... Well, that was us," Ron explained. He turned to his girlfriend. "Right, Pansy?"

Pansy looked up, startled. "Oh. Yes. That was us. We're very... noisy," she said, blushing a bit.

She stepped closer to Ron, laughing nervously.

Rita's eyes narrowed. "Right..."

"Yes. Like this," Ron continued, pulling Pansy into a passionate kiss.

Rita watched their kiss, her eyes still narrowed, for a while, and then went further into the apartment, opening all the doors and checking under beds and tables. Finding nothing, she finally had to admit defeat and returned to the door, where Ron and Pansy were still kissing. She glared at them, but finally swept out the door without another word. The photographer, who had been waiting by the door, gave a small cough, and they finally pulled apart, looking at him instead. He gave them an embarrassed shrug, and then turned to follow Rita.

Pansy shook her head, and a very upset looking Harry Potter emerged from their bedroom.

"Thanks," he said.

"You should ask Granger to kidnap her again," Pansy told him.

"I already did." Harry sighed. "But she refuses. Not after all those mutual trials for blackmailing and kidnapping and withholding information and being an unregistered animagus that they both went through after the last time." He shook his head a little.

"What happened there? Why did you come here? And how did you get in anyway?" she continued.

"Alohomorra. Sorry. You were the closest I could think of. I really am sorry."

Ron furrowed his brow. "Why didn't you just apparate away somewhere?"

Harry frowned. Then he drew a breath. And then his shoulders sagged. "Oh," he muttered meekly.

Pansy chuckled.

"I... think I'll just... do that now instead. Umm. Yeah. Night!"

With that, he disappeared with the usual crack.

Pansy shook her head again and turned to Ron, raising an eyebrow. "The things I put up with for your friends..."

Ron grinned at her. "You know you'd be bored stiff without us."

She rolled her eyes, but then grinned and pulled him closer. "Now... Where were we?"