Disclaimer: I don't own 'Wolf's Rain' and I naturally I'm not getting anything off this (do you think I would?) I own the ideas of what happens via plot but that should be obvious…

A/N: I merely couldn't stand it. I had most of the final chapter written anyway, long before now, so I had to finish it. I'm glad it's finally over. Now I can sit back and let the story fade into obscurity. Yes… I'm impressed that it took me a 5 month period (June doesn't count since I wasn't home almost that whole month) to write a 5 chapter story (7 parts in all). Max reviews are probably 16 I believe. Enjoy!

a kind of paradise

"and every prayer we pray at night has somehow lost its meaning

for is this the answer to our prays?

is this what god has sent?

please understand, this isn't what we meant"

-This Isn't What We Meant (Savatage)

Darkness all around, soft velvet black and complete. There is a calm stillness to the air, as if something is waiting. No moon can be seen through the dark sky. All that can be seen against the blackness is a deeper shade of the black, jutting up jagged from the hazy shadow. It is a deserted street, most of the lights in the houses are out, resting beside the gravel pit that in summer months is filled with rainwater and left over snow, giving the children of this small town a highlight of their, to their minds, drab lives. But it is not summer, though it is not faraway but right now a cold April wind blows through the night. It must be almost midnight as the tiny band approached the towering three story house.

It looks like something out of a horror story, black gate knocking in the wind, the shutters banging and clanking together, the entire house almost at a tilted angle as if the architecture who built it had seen the world slightly different than others. In the lack of light it looked like a looming giant next to the tiny ranches nearby. A huge rock wall surrounded the land, but Hige thought he could smell a scent of weeds, maybe a breed of wildflower, the remnants of an unkempt garden.

He said so to Kiba, who took the incentive to sniff cautiously at the air. Out of the five of them, he alone still had his canine senses, while the rest of them were only human.

"There was a garden of some kind here, though the smell is faint. It smells like dark flowers." Before anyone could question that, Kiba took another whiff. "Almost like the darkness of a new moon."

Tsume snorted, in obvious disbelief. "You don't expect us to believe that the moon has different scents, do ya?"

No one answered his retort. Kiba stared stonily ahead and Hige had a brief thought if Kiba really could show emotion in quite the same way as humans. Blue kept her eyes has the house, but her namesake eyes darted back in Tsume's direction, a mixture of anger and fear mingled there that made Hige's heart went out to her. This wasn't easy on her, heck, it wasn't easy on anyone of them except maybe Kiba. Well, no that wasn't entirely true either…

Toboe spoke after a moment. His voice was quieter than usual, somehow seeming more so in the night gloom, "I don't know if it really matters, Tsume. I mean, she's in there, isn't she? So, whatever it is we have to do something, right?" He sounded unsure of himself. Blue came to her cousins defense, before Tsume could say any other derogatory remarks, though secretly Hige doubted Tsume had the heart to reprimand Toboe anymore.

"Of course you're right, Rog. Cheza is in there and we're here to rescue her."

Hige sensed the fear inherit in her voice, an unspoken trembling dread. Of what, he wondered, of not seeing things through. Of losing someone else she loves, just like she did back then… The memories were still hazy, at least his were. He didn't know if the others had as much trouble discerning what had happened and what their lives had been like then, but for him the whole load of memories were more jumbled and disjoined than making any sense. But he did remember them, that much he knew, that much he was certain of.

Scowling, Tsume regarded Blue with a jarring glare, eyebrows drawn tight. "And how do you propose we do that, Ms. WinterBlue?"

"Well, something! It's better than standing how here, waiting to be noticed!" she snapped back.

"Quiet." Kiba's stern but soft voice cut through the tension. "We don't have the time to fight. We'll try and see if there's a back way in." With that he trotted off, following the winding arc of the stone walls.

Grumbling, Tsume followed sullenly, trailed by Toboe who jogged after the other two.

Hige was about to follow when he saw Blue hanging back.

"What is it, Blue?"

Her eyebrows were drawn together as she chewed on her lip. "How can you call me that?"

Stunned, he gave her a funny look. "Because that's who you are. That's what everyone, even Toboe, calls you."

"But I…I'm not just Blue."

"Of course not." Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Hige observed her with a renewed scrutiny. "What's this got to with anything, Blue?"

She hung her head, clenching her fist tightly as she did so. "I haven't…remembered much, just bits and pieces of things. Some of it was so wonderful. Some of it was horrible. But really I don't think I want to remember any more. But that's not the point is it." Her head rose abruptly, black hair drawn into her eyes. "What if we can't do it? What if he hurts Cheza? What if something bad happens…like…before?" Her voice winked out, and her blue eyes strayed away from his.

He knew what she is saying; he could feel the impending doom, an ugly stain, ready and willing to wipe them out. But he also felt something else. Steady and delicate, almost only an ephemeral feeling that despite all the darkness of the night gave him strength, a gentle strength to simply believe. There is still hope.

Without thinking his feet stride back to her, grasping her clenched fist in his hands. "You're right, Blue. But there's something else as well. We're here together, all of us. And that has to count for something, doesn't it?"

Her blue eyes stared across at him widening slowly. They softened after a moment and her mouth parted in a weak smile. "Yeah, Hige. We're still here, we're still here and we're together." Unexpectantly, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. She hugged him for only a brief moment but it was enough to give them both renewed strength. Placing his hand gently on her back, he pulled her close for a brief hug of his own. And then they parted and hurried on to follow the others.

Blue was ahead of him when a cold shaft of air shook his nose. The scent was bizarre, sour but sweet, a strange concoction of burning leaves and baking cookies. As though sensing his pause, Blue turned back, peering over her shoulder at him.

"Hige?"

"Blue, I think…I smell something. Can you try and get the others?"

She stared at him a moment, then nodded and took off around the bend the others had disappeared behind a few minutes before.

His eyes unwittingly follow her progress until she is out of sight. It seems as if he can never seem to get enough of her, her company, her presence, her voice, even as her memory nags at his mind, driving him into mindless daydreaming. I wonder if this is what love is like? He chuckled to himself, before abruptly remembering the situation. Embarrassed despite his solitude, Hige sniffed again for the scent. It's still as strong as before. On instinct, he followed the smell to the great looming wall. The stones felt cold to his touch, and he ran his fingers across the surface. They seemed caked in a musky layer of dirt. As he moved along, hardly half a foot from where he was he found the source of the unusual scent. There is a broken hole in the wall. It runs from the height of his waist to the ground, almost a foot in width. Investigating, he surmised that it might be a tight fit, but it also might be better than looking for a door that might not even be there or even be open.

In a seemingly short while, they are all huddled around Hige's new find.

Toboe seemed delight with it. "What luck! We can sneak it right through here. Good job, Hige."

He couldn't repress a grin of pleasure, what could he say, he liked praise?

Blue on the other hand, eyed the hole with dislike. "Are you sure? I mean, I don't know how safe it is…besides it's filthy." Her nose wrinkled in disgust.

"It's the best chance we have." Kiba seemed certain of his words.

Giving a sigh of surrender, Blue gave Kiba a wry look. "I know that. I was only kidding."

"She's just a clean freak." Toboe added in. His cousin gave him a small smack on his shoulder which Toboe wasn't expecting. He tumbled a bit backwards, more from shock than force, butting into Tsume.

"Watch it."

Hige couldn't help but grin. Here they were, supposedly trying to rescue Cheza, the kind of thing you'd think would require daring and know-how, a serious attitude and yet they were still themselves. They were only kids mostly, none of them even over twenty, though he wasn't entirely sure what human years were to Kiba. Either way, it was nice to see them still having a semblance of themselves.

Kiba didn't seem to feel the same way, glaring hard at Toboe and Tsume. "We don't have time to dawdle."

A pale eyebrow rose, as Tsume stared the hole up and down. He turned to Kiba in a stiff way. "You don't really expect us to go in there, do you?"

The gaze Kiba sent Tsume bordered at warning, as if the he was hovering on unacceptable territory. The tension rose, and the three others could sense it. Hige wriggled his nose. Ever since they had first encountered Kiba, Tsume had taken up every defense he had, snapping unnecessarily at anything the wolf said, denying it out right. Even now, though Tsume didn't say it, Hige was sure he was the older man was silently fuming and blaming Kiba for what had happened to Chez. After all, the argument stood, if they had never met Kiba, would they have run into him, as well?

The other two seemed to follow his thoughts, exchanging worried glances. Toboe attempted to pacify the growing tension, saying as cheerfully as he could. "C'mon guys, we have to hurry. That's what you've been saying Kiba. And you want to get in there as fast as you can, right Tsume? So…let's just hurry."

The two didn't seem to hear him, and the longer they sized each other up, the stronger an uneasiness began to grow in Hige's stomach. It wasn't like the itchy, somewhat scratchy feeling that bothered his throat, no this was something deeper. A dark pit floundering in his belly, flip flopping in a nervous way, anxious and ready to drown out his memories, the feelings rushed up to his head, making him dizzy. He leaned against the cool stone, breathing heavy. What was this strange feeling?

Only Blue seemed to notice.

"Hige…are you alright?"

He gave her a weak grin. "Yeah, sure. I just wish Tsume would trust me."

At his last words, the air had grown oddly silent, allowing his voice to rebound, seemingly the only sound in the night. With a start, he found he they were all staring at him, Toboe in puzzlement, Blue in concern, Kiba in avid seriousness, and Tsume simply unreadable.

"Hey, hey, guys. Chill out." He tried to keep his voice light but in the back of his throat he felt a dark wave, ready to drown him in black waters.

Tsume stared the longest at him and Hige felt his throat itch uncontrollably as he did. The other man seemed to be weighting something on his mind, and as Hige watched, really watched him, he saw the uncertainty in the other's eyes, a soft glaze almost indiscernible from the cold irritation and distant front. He was as worried as the rest of them, but there was something else bothering Tsume, something, he felt quite sure of, had to do with him. But what? What was it Tsume had remembered that he hadn't? Hige's heart clenched a moment, in irrational fear but then he saw the uncertainty melt out of Tsume's eyes.

Giving an annoyed sigh, Tsume muttered, "Fine. Whatever. Let's just get this over with."

Kiba nodded in acceptance of something those two seemed to remember. From out of no where the darkness in at the back of Hige's throat floated away and it seemed as if a shadow that had been preying unconsciously on his mind and heart, maybe even his soul, simply vanished. Without hesitation he followed Kiba under the crumbling hole, into the darkness beyond.

It did appear to be a garden of some kind. Even in the moonless night, the outlines of a gnarled path could be seen, twining its way around two large ponds, bordered by a low bench of stone, smoother than the one around the outside. Everything was completely silent, and it made his nose itch. There were no sounds, even of nightly noises, just a leaden, muffled kind of silence.

Next to him Kiba snarled softly. It was an odd sound to hear coming from a human, but somehow didn't seem out of place on the human face of the white wolf.

The path continued on, after passing by the two ponds, to twine around a small looking building, now tilting uneasily like a long abandoned toy. It was covered in dark wood, large pieces peeling away in strips, reminisive of a snake's skin slowly uncurling. Behind the smaller one, was a much larger one, like an old fashion home with a large, long awning all around the porch. It looked unused, as he had known it would be. No one ever came up around here, unless someone dared you to. Or at least that was the normal case…

"Well," Hige said; his voice sounded abrupt in the gloom. He tried again. "Well, I suppose we better go pay a visit."

Kiba gave him a brief smile and nodded.

It smelled bad in here. Not bad the way you would think either. It was more a feeling than a scent but somehow it seemed to hang on the senses, as if was some kind of arcane aromaHe had a brief sprout of wonder what it was like for Kiba, since he could actually smell just as well.

Tsume dismissed the thought readily; it hardly mattered to him. A small part of him berated himself, knowing there was something he was denying but he really didn't want to listen. Beside he didn't have time to listen. Yes, things were happening, there was no denying that, but he had a feeling there had been things he might have wanted but he didn't want anymore. He wasn't that Tsume anymore…

His thoughts were interrupted by a light that caught the edge of his vision. The others had seen it as well, a pale strip of grayish light coming from underneath one of the black doors. He had a brief thought that this whole situation was absurd, before Kiba abruptly kicked the door in plunging into the dimly lit room.

There was that brief moment of uncertainly then, hanging on a thin edge of a knife. Go forward, stay, what to do? Feelings you didn't understand, memories you couldn't quite remember, was it worth it too take a chance with something you didn't understand, something you couldn't quite fathom? Though this moment only lasted seconds, afterwards, Tsume had always been able to remember his thoughts very clearly, as if he had spent a reasonable time thinking things through. He never knew what the others had thought, or what they may have been thinking in that brief moment; all that he knew was that they are ended up there, moments behind Kiba.

It's because of her. It's because of more than that. It's because I don't want to lose…The thoughts flittered through his head. It wasn't paradise – that paradise Kiba had spoken of – it was something else.

The dim light they had seen from under the door came from a weird assortment of blinking boards, all connected with thick black thread. There was no sense to anything; it was all jumbled, a mismatch of shadows and light. Folding in on one another, they twisted all around the large room, as if in sad, pathetic mockery of some semblance of memory that could not be now be properly remembered.

More than anything, the distorted madness of this room, made the black pit in his stomach grow more potent, but with it, at the small time, he felt his limbs go hard as the disturbance turned to an iron determination like steel in his bones. Tsume saw a small, huddled shape in one of the corners, as if in some deep, deep sleep, but another shape, this one at the center of the room, demanded immediate attention.

The black clothed figure had turned to them, eyes as unsettled as before. It was disturbing to see the ordinariness of the man's clothes; black jeans covered in dust and a loose, long sleeved black shirt. If it hadn't looked so dirty, the style may have complimented the man's features, now he merely looked dazed, as if this man, Raphael's brother, was not really in the same world as the rest of them.

When he spoke, his voice held a distant quality to it, and it buzzed in Tsume's ears like the hum of bees.

"You are too late. I already have her, the flower maiden. The gates of paradise will open for me…" The distracted voice trailed off, as if he had forgotten they were even there.

There was a similarity to the two, in the way they looked, now that Tsume had time to notice it, though what the man was saying sounded a bit like nonsense to him. He had never seen Raphael's brother before, didn't even know the guy's name, but there was something distinctly different about them. This guy just seems pathetic. Dangerous and mad but pathetic somehow. I just didn't like Raphael. Slightly amused by his thoughts, he nearly missed Kiba's first attack.

The wolf lunged with his whole body jumping onto the man's chest, biting deep into his shoulder. The guy gave a loud howl of pain and brought up an arm to bash Kiba again, like before, but a loud crack followed by the thud of the black man's body hitting the floor. Breathing heavily, Blue was standing behind the crumpled form, holding something thick between her hands. It glistening with a silvery sheen, like a thick belt of metal.

It seemed as if the moment shifted, ready to turn down a multitude of different avenues, a horde of possibilities.

Blue seemed startled by what she had just done, wide eyes staring across at the others. The first one to break the silence was Toboe.

"Is…is that it?"

After all the tension it seemed an odd thing to say, yet accurately true. There had not been much to it.

"He didn't know what he was doing. He thought he knew, but he didn't really remember." Kiba's voice sounded strangely hollow.

"He looked…mad." Blue said shakily.

Again they are looked down at the fallen man's form. He wasn't a threat anymore, but there was still something about him that seemed wrong… Tsume thoughts were cut off, as he remembered the other shape he had seen earlier. Cheza. No, Emma. His attention wavered, and he found his eyes trailing back to where they had first rested.

"Shouldn't we…do something about him?" Toboe asked hesitantly.

Kiba gave a brief nod, his seemingly turquoise eyes determined.

He lunged forward, teeth bared, but somehow Hige got there fast enough to drag his arms around the wolf's neck, not strong enough to hold him back, but enough to make Kiba stop.

"Are you mad? You can't just kill him."

"He's too dangerous," was the simply reply.

"Yeah, well, this is the twenty-first century." Hige glanced around at the other two, since Tsume didn't seem to be paying attention anymore. "We should probably call the police."

"Or an asylum." Blue muttered dryly, though her voice held little humor.

The white wolf was staring strangely at Hige, as if in question, curiosity or amazement, he couldn't tell.

"Look at this place!" Hige demanded. "Just look at it, Kiba. This isn't some, some, some noble's," he wasn't sure where the word came from, but it sounded right, "lab, it's a rat nest of thrown out computer pieces, some mad guy's idea of genius. There's nothing here. Nothing really anyway." His voice had lowered, eyebrow pulled tight across his brow. "Whoever this guy might have been, he's not that anymore. None of us are."

An accommodating noise from Tsume seconded his words. He was mildly surprised to find himself supported by the silver-haired man. The other two nodded in agreement, Blue more vigorously than her cousin.

Stunned, the white wolf stared at them, brief, minimal changes stampeding in his eyes. Confusion, shock, thoughtfulness, and a thousand other feelings, all of them shuddering for a moment in a heightened, tightly walled ball. Then it burst, and Kiba seemed to reach a decision.

"All right." Though he said nothing else there was a kind of surrender in his words. Not a surrender of giving up, but of acceptance. For some strange reason, Hige found himself grinning.

"Cool. Now we've just to find Cheza."

"She's over here," came Tsume's voice, from where he crouched in one of the corners. "It looks like she's sleeping…"

Panic. Uncontrollable fear. It was mounting, growing like a reckless weed, a dark sprout of primeval terror. Her insides seemed to be shaking, terrified, fearful, and panicked beyond anything she had ever known. Deep rooted in her consciousness, she had never known a fear like this. The kind that ate away at her, tiny gnawing bites one after another, tearing her apart. Any kind of self-confidence she might have had, any kind of self-worth she may have felt, or any kind of self-achievement she felt she reached did not matter. They were merely being eaten away.

It was this fear. It was doing this to do. In her darkness, Cheza felt a dull pain on her lip. Lip. I'm biting my lip, a small part of her mind murmured. That meant the rest of her was still there, she still had a body. There must be more than just this fear. Her eyes were merely closed. All she had to do was open them.

No, no, I can't. I'm not like that…I'm just…I'm ordinary. I'm not a flower. I'm not!

Through the hazy words came images as well, distorted perhaps in her dark fear. A half smiling face, a little uncertain but honest, hovering beneath a set of vibrant blue eyes; a dark protection so different than this black fear eating away at her. A true smile, bright and kind and simply blazing out to the world, a happy heart-felt warmth; tarnished hair and hazel eyes, a red light, so soft compared to the blackness all around. A smirking grin with grayish eyes and shaggy hair, a golden smile; a free spirit, dark as well but glowing like the sun, the opposite of this blackness. A sudden image, crystal clear of golden eyes, a predator gaze and a white face, white fur. A white wolf running, running to her.

A part of her stretched out to reach for it, for him but another image melted its way into her closed eyes.

Close cropped hair, a silver shade with intense eyes, a golden shade so different than the white wolf's…a charming mouth and sharply defined chin, every detail so delicate, so close in her mind's eyes she felt she could almost touch the image, touch him. The image seemed to burn into her, despite the black terror, or maybe in resistance to it, burning with a silver-green outline and a gentle feeling of safety. With it she heard words tumbling down to her through the terrifying panic.

You're Amelia Starr. Just be who you are.

A kind of memory came hurdling back to her, and in her drowning darkness, Cheza, no, Amelia fought against the growing black seed inside her. She didn't know where it came from, she didn't know that she could even overcome it, but she was who she was and Emma knew that she was not the kind of person to give up so easily. Let them find out what kind of strength she did have.

So few people had ever seen it, seen the strength she had always carried in her heart. Raphael had seen it, Blue had too, Hige had seen glimmers of it, and Toboe had understood it. But Tsume knew. It was strange, all the names coming back to her, but so differently than before.

Tsume knew. He knew what it was like to have a strong spirit, but to be broken down, torn by life until the scars became ever so heavy. There were scars in her heart, deep ones she hadn't even known she had. But she would fight against them, the same way she knew Tsume…Jonathan…would.

And strangely in the darkness, the black terror, it was enough. There was no need for paradise because she had already had it. She already had the strength to give it to them. She had the words inside her to show it them. She didn't have to bloom, or became anything more than what she was. All she had to be was herself and believe.

"Em! Emma!"

There was someone calling her name. The voice was so urgent, shaking her slightly. With a foggy realization, she abruptly became aware of her body, which was what was being shaken. She tightened her eyes, feeling her body in all its detail and security. Emma's legs lay against a cold surface, almost like stone while her back was softly propped up, and she felt her face held against something warm. A thick scent was in her nose, the thick scent of leather. At the thought a memory floated up to the surface, the earlier darkness and she opened her eyes.

"Tsume."

He was holding her gingerly but protectively, as if torn between his feelings and his instincts. Her heart went out to him, wanting to tell him everything she realized, let him know it was all right.

"Jonathan."

She reached out to him placing her hand gently on his chest.

Stunned, his golden eyes could only stare down at her.

"It's all right, Jonathan." And then she smiled at him, to show him she was all right. A small smile that seemed to melt something inside him as she saw his hardened eyes waver then give in as Jonathan pulled her to him, hugging her tightly to his chest.

"Oh, Em, you idiot."

Smiling, she snuggled into him, ignorant of anything else.

A warm weight against her lower back, the part beneath Tsume's encircling arm, made her turn around. With his arms loosely around her, she found herself facing a pair of wild golden eyes surrounded by white fur. It looked so much whiter than before. He isn't putting up his illusion was the only thought she had, as she drew her face into his fur, hugging him tightly.

Kiba.

There was no denying the feeling she had for him. It was too deep, like breathing, a part of her she couldn't really understand. But there were other parts as well, parts that Jonathan was closer to now. But that didn't change how she felt. In a way, it was strange to think that she loved the white wolf the way she did, but as herself, as Emma Starr, not as Cheza. Kiba was what she wanted in her life, but he wasn't the only one she had.

Raising her head, she saw the other three, Hige grinning as usual, Blue looking like she had tears in her eyes and Toboe who had crouched beside Kiba, watching her with concern.

"Hello all," she said weakly. "This one is fine." Scrunching up an eye at her phrasing she amended, "That is, I'm fine."

She saw Blue bite her lip, then joined the others on the floor.

"You're all right then." The blue-eyed girl's voice quivered.

Emma nodded, then released her hold on Kiba and hugged Blue instead. Poor Blue, this has been such a strain on her. For a moment Blue seemed unsure of what to do, then she rested her head in Emma's lap, as the other girl petted her hair. As she did that she felt something bump up against her shoulder. Toboe was leaning on her, chin resting against her shoulder. His eyes were closed.

Hige knelt down as well, on Kiba's other side, but he was too faraway for her to pet him. Not that she would have been able to, she realized after a moment. Tsume was still holding her hand, tightly in his own.

Emma lifted her eyes a moment and met Kiba's gaze. He knew. She knew he did. This was a kind of paradise already. They had already found paradise.

The End

And that's it. Originally I was going to see if anyone wanted me to write more, since there's a lot of other stuff, about their regular lives, their families, et. al, but I don't know if I will anymore. Hehe. I hoped the few that liked it enjoyed it. If anyone's interested, I could put up a little thing about everyone's proper name, age, and location (where they live).