A/N: This contains a reference to a mysterious incident that I've also mention before, in a story that goes by the name Girls Don't Do That!, as well as one to my take on theme #7.

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#10 - #10

Lists, the Universe and Everything

- in which we learn that the author has a (not so) secret soft spot for meta-fiction which might perhaps shine through just a little here -

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Millicent Bullstrode and Theodore Nott looked up from their respective books as Pansy Parkinson sat down next to them on the sofa. They watched as she leaned back, closing her eyes and looking generally exhausted. She sat like that for a few minutes before sighing, opening her eyes and leaning over to pick up the backpack she had dropped on the floor next to the sofa as she sat down. Picking out a notebook and a quill, Pansy leaned back again, and holding out the notebook in front of her face scratched down a few lines into it.

Millicent gave her friend a sympathetic look. "Still no luck, I see," she stated.

"No," Pansy answered shortly, lowering the notebook.

Millicent took the opportunity to snatch it from her, opened it and skimmed to the latest entry.

"Kiss #10 - interrupted by rampaging house-elves," she read out loud, then frowned and stared at the text. "Rampaging house-elves?" she repeated incredulously.

"They were running away from Granger. She was running after them and waving some knitted bags or something and yelling something about tickets to freedom." Pansy shrugged.

"Really? Sounds like Granger's finally snapped. You know what they say about the line between genius and insanity, don't you?" Theo grinned at the thought.

Pansy snorted. "She's been on the side of insanity all the time, if you ask me."

Millicent and Theo rolled their eyes, and she glared at them.

"What's that got to do with you and Weasley kissing, anyway?" Millicent asked, steering the conversation away from Pansy's nemesis who also happened to be her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend and still one of his best friends.

"We were in the way. Those little buggers are vicious! We had to separate so we wouldn't be killed in the stampede."

Theo gave a chuckle. "Sounds fun." He shook his head a little, and then frowned, a thought suddenly occuring to him. "Pansy, why are you writing down your kisses?" he asked, nodding towards the notebook.

This time it was Millicent's time to give a chuckle. "It's her Great List o'Doom," she declared, sounding quite amused. Pansy didn't look like she saw anything remotely funny about it.

"Apparently," Millicent continued, "every time Pansy and Weasley are snogging, they get interrupted or otherwise put in some really embarrassing situation. She's writing it all down to prove that the universe has it in for her."

Theo gave little laugh.

"Well it does!" Pansy declared indignantly.

Theo only laughed some more, and took the notebook from Millicent.

Kiss #1 - interrupted by v. annoying, overly nosy housemate," he read. "How long have you been writing this? You couldn't have known right away all your snogging would turn out like that."

"Since our fourth kiss, actually," Pansy said. "I just wrote in the first three at the same time then."

Theo shook his head and was about to return his attention to the notebook when he suddenly remembered something. "Very annoying, overly nosy housemate," he quoted. "Wait a minute... Wasn't that me?" He glared at Pansy, who just gave an indifferent shrug.

He gave her another glare before turning back to the text, skimming down to kiss number four. "Prefects' bathroom. Ice cream. Too. Much. Soap. (Note to self: find out how to remove footprint from ceiling.)" He raised his eyebrows incredulously at this one.

"Don't. Ask," Pansy told him fiercely, and Theo decided that sometimes, it was probably best not to know.

"Kiss #7 - interrupted by Professor Sinistra. Also, whole class of Hufflepuffs. (Note to self: kill Millicent)," he continued instead. Eyebrows shooting up again, he turned to Millicent. "What did you have to do with that incident?"

"Well," Millicent began, sneaking a look at Pansy and obviously trying to sound regretful while she was anything but. "I might, perhaps, have suggested that the Astronomy Tower was a good place for snogging at night..."

"But they have classes there..."

Millicent gave a tragic sigh. "Completely slipped my mind," she said angelically.

Theo turned to Pansy. "I can't believe you fell for that."

Pansy just glared.

"None of these incidents seem to have discouraged you enough to stop snogging Weasley, though."

A gleam appeared in Pansy's eyes and she stood up, raising her gaze upward. "I'm not giving up," she declared fiercely. "One of these days, I'm going to snog Ron Weasley without being interrupted or having anything else disturb us! Do you hear me universe?" she albeit shouted, holding up her fist as if in a challenge to the universe she was speaking to.

Theo privately thought the fanatic gleam in her eyes was rather scary.

Lowering her gaze, Pansy seemed to notice a large part of the people in the Slytherin common room had turned to stare at her. "What?" she snapped, and everyone turned back to their business.

"They're probably just amazed that you're completely missing the point," a voice behind them drawled. The three of them turned to see Draco Malfoy standing behind their sofa, arms crossed over his chest. "The universe is just trying to inform you of your absolutely horrible taste in boyfriends."

Pansy glared at Draco, and then, snatching the notebook back from Theo, she stomped back to the girls' dormitory.

Draco smirked, rolled his eyes, and turned to leave as well.

Theo turned to Millicent, who shrugged.

"Well, at least she has a goal in life," she said.