Fanfiction based in the world of Harry Potter, created by JKR. Her characters are hers. Original characters are mine. No pecuniary rewards. Please see first chapter for full disclaimers and description.

Thank you to my Betas, Elaine and JL, aka Kirasha who have both stepped up the to the challenge marvelously as I scramble to finish this before HBP! Any remaining errors or mistakes are my own—please feel free to point them out!

I do not own the musical piece mentioned in the fic, credit is given to the appropriate artists and no copyright infringement is intended.

I have to add thanks to a reader, 'Lady Claire' who is from Germany. She has helped me with some language things that I wanted to be able to express between Severus and Katrina, so that now I can do so coherently. Translations are in the A/N at the end of the chapter.

Chapter 45: Good-byes

End of year exams began the Monday after the wedding, so that there was little time to be spent in socializing for any of the teachers. It was indeed Dumbledore who assumed Harry's more intensive Occlumency training. His sessions with Rowena ceased altogether for the rest of the term so he could focus on revision. There were also intense but brief and very clandestine meetings with Severus, which neither individual would discuss with Rowena.

The need to oversee exams turned out to be an unexpected boon for Severus. He normally loathed them almost as much as the students did. Not the giving of the exam, of course, but the tedious process of correction where he was forced to deal with the sheer idiocy of the vast majority of his students. However, it was because of the exams that he was spared any lengthy 'interviews' with the Dark Lord when he made his excursions to attend the potion.

He did manage to spend time each day with Rowena, even if it was only to sit in silence late in the evening while they marked exams. He had feared that she would be timid and on-edge with him again since he kissed her at the wedding, but surprisingly she was not. It seemed the mutual reassurance of that conversation strengthened the tenuous restoration of her trust. She often would sit very close to him on her sofa and lean her head against his shoulder as she made her way through exams and essays. He never imagined himself as the sort to tolerate such proximity from any person for any length of time, and so was newly surprised at how pleasant he found it. It helped that she was left-handed and he right, as they both had free use of their quills even when their off-hands ended up entwined between them.

On the Wednesday after the wedding, Remus and Tonks settled into 12 Grimmauld Place as their residence, and took Katrina with them. Rowena and her parents helped them. Severus had not involved himself in the proceedings because he thought it would be easier for Katrina if he was not present.

The choice of location was not quite so horrible as might be imagined. Dumbledore had removed Kreacher from the place upon Sirius's death—the House Elf 'belonged' to Harry to do with as he saw fit, and Harry had 'given' the elf to Dumbledore when he gave the Headmaster the house itself. Severus had no idea where the creature was, but knowing Dumbledore, it was someplace 'humane'.

When Black left the house to Harry, many of the enchantments tied to the Black Family were weakened, so that the Permanent Sticking Charm holding up the hideous portrait and the Family tree were at last negated, as well as a myriad of other dark and unpleasant things. At some point, Dumbledore then 'gave' the House to Tonks, thereby restoring and strengthening some of the other enchantments specific to the bloodline so as to maintain its superb level of security. Molly Weasley, Becky Lupin, Andromeda and Tonks worked on the house tirelessly after the engagement was announced, so that it had ceased being a place of darkness. The Order would still continue to use it as Headquarters, but it was also now home to the new Lupin family.

Rowena was mopey and tearful after the move, having been used to seeing Katrina every day, often multiple times a day. Severus was not completely unaffected himself, though his discomposure displayed itself in the increased complexity of his exam material. He hadn't even said 'goodbye' to Katrina, unable to face that display. He thought he had internally resigned himself to her adoption by the lycanthrope and was annoyed to discover that he was upset by it.

Katrina had been gone a week. He was sitting in Rowena's office, using her tall workbench to grade papers, as he had done for almost the last fortnight. She would come in soon with her own stack of exam papers, and they would move to the sofa to sit in companionable silence and mark.

Except that today she came in, her eyes red-rimmed and sniffling, carrying a bundle gently wrapped in a soft pink blanket. For a moment, Severus remembered his tiny infant sister who had been about that size. He looked up from his papers and merely stared at her; his gut clenched painfully with some unknown emotion.

"Katrina forgot baby Sophie," she said, looking up at him miserably, tucking the blanket around the doll. "She was the first doll I ever gave her, do you remember? That second time we visited her in the hospital? What if she can't sleep without her? Why didn't Remus or Tonks come get the doll? Don't they know she needs baby Sophie?"

Rowena burst into tears, clutching the doll as she sobbed wretchedly. Severus was completely at a loss for what to do, but in the end did the only thing that made any sense at all. He sat down his quill and crossed the room so that he could wrap her in his arms, holding her while she wept.

"I didn't know I wanted her so badly," she cried against his chest. "She was mine, in my heart. I didn't know it would hurt this much to give her up… even to Remus… I miss her so much already."

He closed his eyes painfully, pulling her closer to him. His mind's eye was seeing and remembering the echo of his child-self saying similar things to his mother in regards to his sister.

"I know, Rowena," he admitted softly, surprising even himself. "I wanted her, too."

She squeezed him tighter, grateful for the admission and the shared loss. They had determined not to visit her any more often than would be appropriate for extended family, not wanting to undermine her ability to settle in with Remus and Tonks.

Katrina had been sulky for days as the wedding drew nearer and the ensuing adoption more imminent. However, Remus and Tonks took her out one afternoon for a 'family outing' to discuss it and she came back in much better spirits. She still cried when Rowena left the house after helping her move, but it was nothing like the tantrum Rowena had been expecting.

"I need to go see her," she said decisively, pulling away from him and swiping her hand over her face. "Just to take baby Sophie. She might be asleep by now anyway. I just need to see her."

She looked imploringly at him. "Will you come with me? Please?"

He sighed and toyed with her braid, uncharacteristically uncertain. He wanted to see Katrina as well, but he didn't feel it was in the best interests of the child.

"Why don't you floo your brother. Ask him what he thinks. We need to allow them determine what is best for her now. If he agrees, then I will accompany you."

She beamed at him through her still tear-streaked face, and hurried to the fireplace. She called for Remus and in an instant his head appeared in her fire.

"Sure, Rowena! I told you that you could visit as often as you like, and I meant it. She'll be thrilled to see you." He turned his head enough in the fire to be able to see Severus as well, and included him in his enthusiastic invitation. "You too, Severus, honestly. She's supposed to be in bed by now of course, but she had to have 'one more drink of water', so she's in the kitchen with Tonks. C'mon over."

Rowena wasted no time putting her papers in her desk and sealing it. Severus, however, was putting away his own things with the slow deliberation that spoke of reluctance.

"Do you think it is wise, Lupin?" he asked the still smiling, disembodied head in the fire. "It is not our desire to make things more difficult for the child, or to undermine the establishment of your parental authority. Perhaps it is too soon."

"Severus, Katrina needs all the love and support she can get. You're not undermining anything. In fact, I think you'd hurt her feelings if you didn't come. It took some doing to get you out of the crup house for not saying a proper goodbye as it is," Remus said.

Severus gave the lycanthrope's head a disdainful look, but refrained from saying anything scathing.

"Well, step back then," said Rowena excitedly, "We're coming through."

With a soft 'pop' Remus's head was gone from the fire. Severus closed and warded her office and scanned for surveillance wards before he would let her ready the floo powder to leave.

"You really are as bad as Moody you know," she teased him, before throwing the powder into the flames. "Number 12 Grimmauld Place."

Severus could already hear Katrina's excited squeals and happy chatter before he had completely stopped spinning in the floo. He stepped out gracefully but had no time to magic the soot from his robes when another loud squeal filled the room and the child all but leaped into his arms.

Severus tried mightily to cling to his cool dignity, even as he caught her easily and returned her hug.

"Na, mein Engelchen," he said gently.

Rowena was beaming, waving her wand to remove soot from her robes, 'baby Sophie' already half forgotten on the kitchen table. Remus was standing, facing the floo, leaning against the table, while Tonks was getting tea and biscuits, though her attention, too, was focused on their visitors, particularly Severus and Katrina.

"You din't come say 'bye," she pouted at him, even as she squeezed his neck tightly enough to cause him to feel light-headed. "I was real mad. Uncle Remus says you hadda teach dunderheads and couldn't come. What's dunderheads?"

Dignity failed him, and he laughed out loud.

"Dunderheads are what little children become if they don't listen to their parents and pay attention to their teachers," he said, still smiling slightly as he carried her to the table and sat her upon it. He withdrew a white handkerchief from a pocket and began to wipe the soot away from her face. "Genau wie du kleiner

Frechdachs!"

She giggled.

"Now, why is it that you are still out of bed at this late hour, Engelchen?" he chided gently. "I thought we had agreed that you were going to be good for your parents?"

Katrina frowned and opened her mouth to say something, but Remus cut in.

"She's good as gold, Severus," Remus said, and Tonks nodded her agreement. "I might lose my voice reading so much, but other than that, we're getting on grand."

When Katrina looked at Remus, he appeared to give the slightest shake of his head, and her little mouth closed on whatever she was about to say.

Severus missed the nonverbal exchange between the child and the werewolf, still trying ineffectually to de-soot Katrina's face and pajamas.

"I think you're going to have to have a bath again, missy," said Tonks. "I told you to give them a chance to clean up before you hugged them, remember? Want to give me a hand, Rowena?"

"I'd love to," she said quickly, and moved over to collect Katrina, while Severus looked vaguely dismayed.

"It was not our intent for our visit to cause inconvenience," he said, almost apologetically, finally finding his wand-hand free enough to perform the soot-removing charm on his robes. It was very effective for the superficial soot from the trip, but by the time Katrina had hugged them both, she had the substance ground into her enough that a simple charm would not be sufficient to remove it. The 'girls' were already headed out of the room, Katrina now talking happily to 'baby Sophie'.

"No inconvenience, Severus. It's just a bath," Remus said genially. "Why don't we go to the drawing room to wait, it won't take them long—unless Tonks lets Katrina pour the bubbles. If that happens, we might have to rescue all three of them from the foam."

Remus lead the way, carrying the tray of tea and biscuits, and Severus found himself in the same chair opposite the chess set which he had occupied on his two prior visits. The room had been repainted since his last foray into the house, though much of the furniture was the same. One of the Lupins, or perhaps Molly Weasley had a flair for bright colors and interesting patterns that made the room almost garish for Severus' taste but at least it no longer had the air of gloom.

"Uncle Remus?" Severus asked as he accepted a cup of tea.

"We told her she could call us whatever she likes," Remus said placidly. "She remembers her birth parents, has been living with the Weasleys and has been hoping you and Rowena would adopt her. It's a hard adjustment to be bounced around like that. We told her we were her family, no matter what, and she could just call us whatever she wants."

"Is that wise? Does that not simply encourage her to continue hoping for something that cannot be? Does she understand the nature of your relationship now, the adoption?"

"For her age, I think she understands the nature of our relationship very profoundly," Remus said with a mischievous smile that immediately set Severus' teeth on edge. He cast the werewolf a suspicious glare but said nothing. "I appreciate your concern, Severus, but I have no intention of forcing the child to feign feelings that aren't there. 'Daddy' is a title that has to be earned; no legal document can dictate it. I'll leave that for Katrina to decide."

Severus' insides twisted painfully as he remembered Katrina's tearful conversation with him over a month before, "He can't be my new daddy, 'cause YOU are gonna be my new daddy, right?" He swallowed the uncomfortable sensation with his tea.

"It is for you to judge," he said flatly.

"I didn't get a chance to thank you properly before, but thanks for the stuff for my potion. Tonks was ready to kill you over that contraceptive potion; I've never seen her blush that red before. We wouldn't want to have kids now in the middle of a war anyway. You do know that werewolves aren't born like that though, right? She was really mad about that 'whelps' comment."

"Of course I know how werewolves are made, idiot," Severus said, though there was no real venom in his words. "I was merely taking artistic license. It requires very precise circumstances to create werewolves with no human form at all."

Hagrid had indeed acquired werewolf cubs when he was a student—something that Tom Riddle had carefully bred. Riddle had been furious when Hagrid had 'rescued' the cubs, which was why he then went to such great effort to make certain that it was Hagrid who got expelled over the later incident.

It was amazing the trivial information one obtained when one was forced to brew for hours in a room with a megalomaniac who enjoyed nothing so much as bragging over his past triumphs to a captive audience.

Werewolf 'cubs' had to be conceived by two werewolves while in their wolf form, and also had to be BORN while the female werewolf was in the wolf form. Under those circumstances, the resultant creatures would have no human form or mind, regardless of the phase of the moon. It retained all the features of the monster, however—the bloodlust and preference for human flesh above all others, the ability to infect others with lycanthropy, the magical resistance to many spells and the rapid regeneration. Riddle, even then, was dreaming of armies of dark creatures at his disposal, and a pack of feral werewolves continually under his control was one of the more grandiose ones.

Severus shook his head to clear his mind of the unpleasant ruminations.

"There is no need to thank me. It is as much to my benefit as to yours if your wife assumes responsibility for that potion. She was quite adequate in potions as a student; she ought to be able to manage sufficiently."

He paused and sipped his tea again, composing his thoughts before continuing.

"It is I who ought to express appropriate gratitude for what you and Tonks have done for Katrina," he said. Every word was slightly stilted, Severus being as unpracticed in expressing gratitude as he was at apologies. "It was unnecessary for you to take her in as your own and offer her your protection. I am very interested in her welfare. I appreciate what you have done."

Remus shook his head.

"She's a great little girl. We already felt like she was part of the family, I'd be damned if we'd let anyone else get her. You don't need to thank me for that. I just want her to be happy—and for the record, that means she needs to see a lot of you and Rowena, as much as you can anyway. I don't want any more of this nonsense about 'undermining parental authority' or any of that rot. I think stability is the most important thing for her. I'm glad to give her a safe home and everything, so don't think any more of it.

"You were the first person to help her out when she'd been so traumatized and you're still the only one around here who can 'talk right'," he flashed Severus a grin, which was returned with a smirk from the darker man. "They say it's good for kids to be multi-lingual. If you don't come around and 'talk right' with her, she'll lose her native language after a while."

"I believe your sister said your mother speaks German?" Severus asked. "I expect summer to bring… unpleasant duties. I will not risk exposing her to danger, which she would be if it were known that I visited often. I doubt it will be possible for me to be around much in any case."

"Yeah, mum speaks it, but it's the real formal stuff that teachers teach. Katrina says it sounds 'funny'."

"I will do what I can." He looked at Remus contemplatively, his expression utterly devoid of any trace of animosity. "I believe I have misjudged you, Lupin. I do not think I would be so generous were our situations reversed."

Remus grinned and stood to open the door to the drawing room, just as footsteps were heard overhead as the girls returned from the bath.

"C'mon, Severus. You don't expect me to believe that she could bat those baby-blues at you and ask for something and you'd manage to say 'no', do you?"

"I have been a professor for fifteen years," Severus said haughtily. "You don't think I'm immune to such things?"

Katrina bounded into the room in clean pajamas, her golden curls still damp from her bath. Tonks and Rowena were trailing behind, both with damp-splatter patches on their robes.

"Katrina, it's time to go to bed," Tonks said firmly. "You've already had your bedtime story tonight. It's getting late and Severus and Rowena have to go home to finish their marking. Give them a hug goodbye and come up to bed."

The child ignored the directive, and instead clambered onto Severus' lap, handing him a book, aforementioned blue eyes staring at him appealingly.

"Will you read my story, Sev'rus?" she asked, "Read it right?"

"Tonks has told you what she expects of you, Katrina," he said, trying to keep his tone firm. The golden lashes blinked and the tiny mouth pouted… and Severus Snape caved. "Very well, I will read your story—once you get to your room and are tucked in bed."

Remus chuckled and shook his head. "Nope, not immune at all," he called after their retreating backs as Severus carried Katrina up the stairs, Rowena following close behind.

They returned to Hogwarts as soon as the child was asleep, and Severus had to admit that he felt more at ease over her placement for having visited her. The room they had given her had been stripped of any hint of darkness. He found the lavender shade of the painted walls to be cloying, but Katrina appeared delighted. Her four-poster bed had been painted white, and a filmy gauze material hung like a hammock across the bottom two posts into which she had placed an array of stuffed animals and dolls that she had acquired over her months at Hogwarts. She was thrilled to have 'baby Sophie' back and had fallen asleep before Severus was half finished with the book.

"Thank you, Severus," Rowena said, hugging him impulsively as soon as they had both de-sooted themselves once again. She was smiling contentedly, and he was hard-pressed to think of a reason not to hold her in his arms for hours.

"Feeling better, then?" he asked against her hair as he held her. She nodded.

"I still wish things were different, but Katrina said that Remus promised her everything would be 'okay', so she's happy. I won't worry so much anymore."

"A very reckless thing to promise, particularly considering the circumstance and the person issuing the oath," Severus said disapprovingly, leaning away from her so he could look at her. "It is impossible to be certain of such a thing."

"Children need reassurances, Severus. They don't understand the complexities of 'what if'. Besides, if Remus promised it, you can rest assured that he'll do his best to make it true. She's as safe and happy as she can be."

He heard the fondness in her tone as she spoke of Remus, and he managed an indulgent smile of his own.

"It is well that you've made your peace with your brother. I find that I enjoy seeing you as contented as you can be as well."

She rewarded his rare admission of tenderness with a radiant smile.

"You ought to be careful, such flattery might go to a girl's head," she teased, before rising on her toes to brush a light kiss across his cheek. "Goodnight, Severus."

He left in a swirl of black robes, and she sealed the door behind him. She picked up her unmarked papers and settled on the sofa to resume the night's marking, which needed to be turned in by morning.

The scene at Hogsmeade Station was tense and watchful. Normally the students were sent off on the carriages and that was that, but now they were accompanied all the way to the train by all the professors and a good contingent of Aurors. Albus, Minerva and Filius were going up and down the train checking the various safety wards, braking charms, alarms and the like. There were many students remaining at Hogsmeade with their parents, but many more who were going home to an unsafe world. It was impossible to even begin to protect everyone all the time, but they were at least doing their best to make the children as safe as possible. The other professors were merely there acting as 'guards' of sorts, as the students slowly filed onto the train and found seats.

"Well, Rowena, I reckon this is 'so long' for a spell at least," Dylan Howard said as he approached her where she stood on the platform. His contract had been for one year, and though Albus had discussed a second year with him, they hadn't made any firm decisions. "Gotta get back home and check on my ranch."

"It's been a pleasure, Dylan, honestly," she said, smiling warmly at him. It was hard to recall that a year ago she had almost been nauseated at the very sight of him. "Where's Jake?"

"Hagrid brought him up early this mornin'. He don't like travlin' much, 'less it's on his own hooves, right? Loaded him up 'fore the crowds would come. Don' reckon you'd come visit me some time?"

"This war won't last forever," she said, "I might get around to some traveling after it's all over. If I do, I'll come see you."

She lowered her voice, and her expression became slightly worried.

"Will you be okay? Will you see Josh when you get back?"

He shrugged uncomfortably and twisted his hat in his hands.

"I'll hafta. It's a real small community. I'll be alright. Maybe Luke helped me get over him, eh? Take care of yerself, now. Send me an owl now and then, y'hear?"

"Of course I will," she said, standing on her toes to hug him warmly and kiss his leathery cheek. "Have a safe trip home. I'm glad you'll be with the kids to London. Dumbledore seems so nervous today."

"I'll be alright. Here, give this to Katrina, won'tcha? I've got loads at home, and she liked it." He set his enormous hat on Rowena's head, winked at her, and disappeared onto the train.

"How very touching," said a sarcastic voice just behind her.

"Don't make a scene. He's my friend. I'll miss him, in spite of his 'abysmal abuse of the spoken word'," she said softly, quoting back to him his own words he had said so long ago, trying unsuccessfully to tease him out of his ill humor. "I was just saying good-bye."

"So I noticed."

His voice was soft, and she doubted anyone would notice their conversation, but she could hear the edge of anger in his tone. She supposed she ought not to have hugged and kissed Dylan like that—but he was her friend, she might not see him again for years. She sighed in frustration, gave Severus a withering look, and stalked away helping the other teachers make certain that the children got safely onto the train and checking wards.

The heightened security was necessary, yet painfully ineffectual. Death Eaters attacked the train on an isolated stretch halfway between Hogwarts and London. There were many, many injuries, though thankfully very few deaths. The attack seemed to be designed to affect as many of the children as possible—but to intentionally leave them alive, as a warning. The message was made all the more conspicuous by the only children who were uninjured—Draco, Gregory, Vincent, Theodore, Millicent, Pansy—nearly two dozen in all, all of whom were children of known or suspected Death Eaters.

The attackers got away, their strike so quick and precise, their retreat so instant, that the Aurors had no time to strike back. They had to focus all their attention on the need to extinguish flames, deflect the curses and hexes, and attempt to keep the train on the tracks. The last was unsuccessful, so that they then had to focus on righting the train and rescue the injured.

Dylan Howard was pinned beneath one of the cars, having been thrown out of it as he tried to fight from the doorway of the one in which he had been riding. He lived, but was unconscious with extensive injuries of unknown severity. Emergency messages exchanged with his next of kin at home insisted that he be returned to America for treatment so that a Medi-wizard transported him at once via Portkey. Jake, his horse, died when his car became separated from the rest of the train and rolled repeatedly down a steep ravine.

It seemed that there was some half-hearted attempt to capture Harry in the attack, as his car was the most severely damaged, but as he had Aurors in his compartment with him, the attempt was aborted. He sustained some broken bones and mild internal bruising, a blessing considering how much worse it could have been. The Weasleys and Hermione were living in Hogsmeade, so Harry at least did not have to fear that his friends once again were in heightened danger because of him. He was treated at St Mungo's by John Lupin and then transported to his relations' home by Remus and Alastor with promises to retrieve him in two weeks and the appropriate threats to the Dursleys regarding his treatment while he was in their charge.

Rowena heard all of this second-hand, having gone to visit Katrina and deliver Dylan's hat as soon as the train pulled away. Katrina and Molly Weasley were baking biscuits when Rowena arrived. It was Filius, too elderly now to go and join the battle or the rescue, who flooed them with the message several hours after the train departed the station. Molly took Katrina with her back to Hogsmeade where she could be of more assistance. Rowena rushed back to Hogwarts to find it all but deserted, Filch already bullying the house elves through their summer cleaning routine.

Severus' office and lab were empty and he did not answer her knocks at either their shared private door or the public one. Moreover, he seemed to have taken her advice and gone to someone for security wards, because they were more complex than he usually used. In the back of her mind she thought that with time she could get through them if necessary, but it was an idle consideration.

Instead she went to her own rooms, and found a small book on her desk in her office that she did not recall. She closed the door and performed a few minor detection charms on the object, but found no evidence of Dark Magic, teleportation charms or traps, though there was some sort of encryption charm on it. Upon picking it up, it instantly became a piece of parchment rather than a book, and she recognized Severus' sharp, angular script.

Rowena,

I ought to have discussed this with you before, but I did not wish to alarm you, or for you to spend the last days of term in ineffectual worry. However, it now occurs to me that there are things I ought to have said before I left.

I have duties away from the school this holiday. It is unlikely I will return before start of term. Albus knows how to contact me if the need is very great.

I did not wish to part with you at odds. I allowed my jealousy to outweigh my reason at the station. I am confident Katrina will enjoy the Cowboy's hat. Perhaps she can bathe in it; Merlin knows it is enormous enough. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to visit her with you one more time before I had to leave.

Stay close to Albus. Follow his advice in everything. Our plans now rest on a razor's edge of hope and chance.

I can offer no words of comfort, nor would I fill this page with syrupy drivel that lacked truth or sincerity. I cannot even promise to think of you often, as it is my intent not to think of you at all, for your safety as well as the objective.

At your brother's wedding, it came to my attention how much communication some of the guests shared together in the lyrics of various songs. Trite, perhaps, but amusing… and effective. It is satisfying to know that countless hours chaperoning tedious student revelries over the years have not been entirely useless.

I find to my dismay that my own words fail me. Perhaps borrowing another's will express what I cannot—though even this poor substitute is more than a little sappy and cloying. I do not believe that one should make light of something so serious.

However, the sentiment expressed is appropriate.

If all goes well, I will see you at the start of term feast.

Yours,

S.

When she reached the end of the note, there was a small 'pop', and the parchment was gone without a trace, leaving her holding an ordinary cube for a wireless, completely nondescript. She wiped tears from her face, trying to calm her pounding heart as she desperately wished she'd hugged and kissed HIM as well, there on the platform this morning, rather than walking away from him in a snit. Already the ache of the broken bond, which had been almost nothing these past weeks as they'd spent time together, was now making itself known again. She couldn't imagine what it would be like at the end of the two-month holiday!

She also was frightened—the note held too much tone of uncertainty, like he was planning for contingencies and trying to say his 'last good-byes' in case he didn't return! 'If all goes well…' leaving her the clear hint of what would happen if all did NOT 'go well'. THAT thought was the most unbearable of all. She knew enough now of her muted feelings to know that she still cared very deeply for him, probably even still loved him, no matter that she felt incapable of properly expressing it and was too wary to trust it.

Still sniffling, upset about the attack on the Express and the injuries, and even more upset about Severus' message of his lengthy absence, she made her way to her quarters to put the cube in her wireless. She would head to St. Mungo's and see if she could be of any use after she heard it, but curiosity outweighed her sense of urgency just now. What sort of 'good-bye' would be contained within?

"Babe," by Styx

"Babe I'm leaving
I must be on my way
The time is drawing near…."

Her breath caught in her throat as the first strains of the music filled the room. Tight bands of emotion constricted her chest so that she felt as though she had to struggle for every breath, every heartbeat.

"Cause you know it's you babe
Whenever I get weary
And I've had enough
Feel like giving up
You know it's you babe
Giving me the courage
And the strength I need…."

The gentle tones were barely audible over the wretched sound of her weeping.

A/N: German Translations, thank you 'Lady Claire':

"Na, mein Engelchen" –Hey, my little angel!

Engelchen—little angel (when referring to girls)

"Genau wie du kleiner Frechdachs!" – "Just like you, cheeky little rascal (or brat)!"

We will see snippets of Severus' summer activities. For more detailed Author commentary on this chapter, feel free to visit my LiveJournal account, I am 'weasleyfan'. Anyone may view my journal without belonging to livejournal.

I could not see Severus leaving for a long term, dangerous 'task' without leaving some profound good-bye, though as you see, even this was almost more than he could tolerate. However, it allows her to keep something tangible from him that cannot be traced back to him, in case of 'the worst', it did not require him to try and compose any grandiose declarations of his own, and indeed, the sentiment expressed is appropriate.