13 Shades of Grey

Chapter 05: Reflection of Self

Disclaimer: Ruin belongs to Zadien.

Chapter five for ya. Read and review please. Zeo is explained at Firdays' assembly. He's in Tyson's year but he had a few classes in advanced. Uhm, Ruins back! I hope you all like it.

Carson wasn't happy. If the rumour he'd heard was true, then Arista had lied to him. He didn't tolerate liars. It was betraying his trust and betraying his trust was a big thing. And didn't Arista know it.

She breathed in and out slowly. It was like she had a itch but no cure. Brooklyn would always get to her no matter what. She knew what this was about, what he wanted to talk about. No matter how much she denied it, she knew what Coach wanted to talk about.

She knew but she wasn't going to admit to anything. She would deny everything and lie if she had to. But she's lied enough because he looked disappointed. And that was what was getting to her. She hated disappointing people; she couldn't stand it because to her it felt like a reflection of self. And it wasn't a good one. She shook her head and followed behind him, thinking about how much trouble she'd be in.

He slowed to a stop, and sat on a bench at the side of the arena. Arista sat beside him, but at a little distance so she wouldn't have to face him. He turned to her and ran his hands through his short copper-cropped hair. His green eyes alight, landing on her face. She was staring at the ceiling as if it were actually interesting.

"Arista?"

She stared at the ceiling a but longer. She could make out shapes and patterns. Sort of resembling a cross-hatching. She lolled her head on her shoulder, and stared with her dark blue eyes. They shone and amber flecks were visible.

"Why did you leave the team?"

She froze, she knew it would happen eventually. But she didn't want to deal with it. She wasn't ready to. She looked at her sneaker-covered shoes. She sighed and ran her left foot over a crack in the lino.

"...I quit because...'Cause I was failing math."

"I talked to your teacher, she said you have a seventy-three grade average. I hardly call that a fail."

She recognized the tone of his voice. He was disappointed, and angry? She didn't want to upset him because she respected him too much to lie to him again.

She turned abruptly and locked her gaze on his watch. The seconds ticked by. She opened her mouth and closed it again. Arista ran her tongue around her teeth and sucked in air and courage.

"I lost a bet."

It was barely audible but he heard it. A bet. Yeah, that was what he'd heard. His eyes narrowed the slightest. He didn't say anything. He would wait for her to confess all.

"I...It was stupid. I'm stupid..." She rested her hands on her jeans and lowered her head. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." She repeated it in her head. Her fingers tightened around her knees until her knuckles were white. Bangs overshadowed her face, making it impossible to tell what she was feeling.

"No, you're not." He sated sternly.

"No. You don't---You don't get it. I'm not...I can't play for two months. That's all, I don't want to leave. I just want to take a break."

He sighed. This wasn't what he'd been expecting. He didn't want her to leave, or take a break because compared to Mariah she was number one goalie. And their exhibition game was just a week away.

"Arista, why can't you just stay on the team? If you just leave like this, then you might not be able to come back on." He reached out a hand and put it on her shoulder.

Realization sunk in Arista's head. She bit her tongue to keep from losing grip on her reality. A trickle of blood coated her bottom teeth.

"I, you, you can't do that. I don't want to, I have to. It's not a choice. Don't you understand? I thought you'd understand..." Arista shrugged her shoulder to wave off his hand. She moved farther down the bench.

"I don't make the rules here, you know that. And I do understand, I---"

"Two weeks." She held up her bandaged hand. "Two weeks until the stitches get out. Just two weeks okay? Please?"

Carson opened his mouth but she'd spoken before he could. "I need to pee."

She walked away from him then when she'd left the arena she started at a run.

Arista ran until she was in the first floor girls' washroom. She leaned against the wall until she slid to the floor. She let her head fall onto her knees and hugged herself. What was she supposed to do now?

Pride. A five-letter word but it had more than a five-letter meaning. She had guts, and pride. The problem was, which one did she have more of?

Monday morning came with rain and sleet. The weekend had passed by quickly enough. Arista and Miyami had sewn pillow covers for their Home Ec. projects. They were supposed to make pillowcases and then go out this coming weekend to fill them up with shower and hygiene crap. It was worth five per cent of their final mark, in the end they would donate the loaded pillowcases to a homeless shelter.

Arista had sewn on stars and striped made of felt to decorate hers. Miyami had made hers plain and then gotten other students to sign it saying random stuff. The rest of the Saturday was spent buying candy from in town. Arista had gotten and extra large supply of pixie sticks. She'd once compared Amber to an Pixie. Amber said that when she grew wings and had pointed ears that she could call her a pixie. Arista had replied by saying that she didn't need wings and pointed ears, she was funny looking as it was.

Amber had replied with something rude, to which they'd had a fight. But the day after they'd made up and apologized. Every time Arista bought the sugar sticks she was reminded of her loud mouth and opinions. She laughed every time she remembered this. To her it seemed funny.

Maybe not to Amber. On Sunday Arista had stayed in her dorm all day pretending to be sick because she was avoiding Brooklyn like the plague. She didn't want to see him because she knew she would explode at him. She needed time to think about how to persuade him about changing his mind and letting her play again. Or after two weeks anyways. She could barely hold a crayon in her hand much less a hockey stick.

Sonia had brought her lunch that had consisted of lasagne and grape juice. Arista had said she was fine because she still had an indefinite supply of sugar under her mattress. Sonia had left saying she was meeting up with Ozuma to plan out the school dance. She was Head girl and he was Head boy. This reminded her of Harry Potter.

All afternoon she'd ignored pretty much everyone else too. Rei had come in to check up on her. She'd talked to him, but hadn't told him everything that was on her mind. It wasn't lying because she'd told the truth. It was just not telling the whole truth.

Miyami had also checked up on her, she'd just come back from getting her ears pierced again, her hands were full of shopping bags. Her wallet was no doubt empty. Shahero and Amber had gone with Tala and Johnny to film a movie. They'd gone to the Skate Park so they could film Shahero skateboarding and Amber rollarblading all around the ramps and set-ups. It was part of a film contest going on at Vaughn Academy.

Ian had come in to prank them back for the Itching powder. Arista hadn't noticed him because she was too busy sleeping. He'd wanted revenge so he'd put itching powder in Arista's bed and in her clothes. She was a light sleeper but she must have taken a pill because he had tripped over a pile of clothes on the floor and she hadn't even stirred.

Now Arista was sitting in English class, fourth period, and she was itching like crazy. She scratched at her arms and legs. A few of her classmates were staring at her. She stared back and kept scratching. She was scratching so hard she had peeled her skin in a few places revealing blood. Leaving behind small scars. She groaned and started to rub her skin instead so that it wouldn't peel anymore.

She looked at her arm, stretched it out. She'd thrown off her school jacket and hung it on the back of her chair. She rolled down her socks until they were just rolls of baggy cloth at her ankles. Her black and silver sneakers were tied loosely and almost fell every time she took a step. She decided to just take them off, she was seated at the back near an open window. She had two whole desks to herself because her classmates assumed Ian had gotten her back.

Arista sighed and hit her head on the top of her desk. When she looked up she saw a teal haired boy sitting next to her.

She vaguely remembered Shahero describing someone who fitted his profile with her in detention.

He smiled at her. She stared back expressionless. "Hi, I'm Zeo."

"Yeah. I'm Arista. Nice to meet ya." She stuck out her hand and grinned.

He clasped her warm hand and smiled again. She was pretty he decided. Her silver hair was swung into a low ponytail at the back of her head. Bangs fluttered and hung over her forehead. She had a small cute nose, and small lips. Her cheeks were flushed a light shade of red.

She looked away from him and scratched at her arms again. He continued to look at her, she noticed him out of the corer of her eye.

"What?" She asked impatiently. He quirked a brow at her. "I mean what are you staring at?"

"The spider in your hair." He replied casually and turned towards the front.

She narrowed her eyes, and scowled. "Yeah, and pigs can fly."

Her gaze tore to the door and she saw Tyson jumping. Hillary was behind him with a tennis racket hitting him. She hit his behind and he yelped jumping up, he flailed his arms giving the impression he was flying.

"Correction, pigs can fly." Arista muttered under her breath. Zeo didn't seem to notice. She shrugged one shoulder and watched Hillary leave after tripping Tyson on the floor.

"Oh man, she is difficult. She needs to take a chill pill."

Arista smirked. Tyson made his way towards the back near Arista. He grabbed an empty chair from the stack at the back an set it down in front of Arista's desk.

He pulled out a packet of gum and slipped a piece in his mouth. He offered one to Arista who took it, Zeo refused with a 'No thanks'.

"Your loss."

"What did you do now Ty-Ty?" Arista asked her cousin. She was related to him because of her relationship to Miyami.

"I didn't do anything."

"He put fake spiders in her locker." Zeo replied smirking smugly.

"You know him?" Arista pointed towards Tyson.

"Yeah. He and I are friends."

"Zeo meet Arista, Arista meet---Arista, what are you doing?"

Tyson stared in bafflement as Arista scratched violently at her arm, and over her bandaged hand.

"I'm feeling myself. What does it look like?"

Tyson rolled his eyes. "Amber's the Queen of Sarcasm. Why don't you be a princess or something?'

"Because then I'd be her daughter. Which is wrong because it just is. Amber with a kid is wrong. She's a kid herself. I'm a self proclaimed Queen of Sarcasm."

"You should stick with Queen of Misunderstanding. Or better yet Queen of Shit, because that's what you look like right now."

Arista didn't even look back to know who it was but Brooklyn. Turning around she rolled her eyes and didn't say anything. She stuck up her middle finger.

He persisted. "What's the matter? Are you all tongue-tied?"

"I am now from biting back vomit from having seen your face."

He brushed off the comment. Good, she was still talking to him. He thought she'd died because he hadn't seen her all weekend. He wanted to get back at her for putting the spiders in his bed. How she'd done it without him finding out was beyond him. She'd done a lot of pranks and it had infuriated him because he couldn't stop her. It was seriously staring to get him pissed.

"How come your wearing pink?" Tyson asked, pointing to Brooklyn's semi-rose pink shirt. Arista snickered. Another one of her master plans.

"How come you're here?" He replied back snidely. Tyson was a junior so why was he in senior English class he didn't know. Neither did her care.

"I'm leaving. I was just making sure Hillary left so I could get away safely."

"Scared of a girl, Kinomiya?"

"Hillary isn't a girl. She's a---a he-she. And she has her period 24/7."

Arista snorted. "That's like a walking talking...Brooklyn!" She snickered and stopped hacking away with her fingers at her skin for a few seconds.

Brooklyn sneered at the back of her silver head and growled. Beside her a teal coloured kid he didn't recognize chuckled along.

Childishly he flicked balls of paper at Arista through class. And constantly tapped at her chair. She didn't seem to notice because she was scratching away at her skin, either that or she ignore him.

"Mr. London? Can I leave class early because I can't stop itching. I swear Ian Petrovich did it. I saw him come into my dorm yesterday but I was to sleepy to care. Can I be excused? I think he put Itching powder in my clothes because I put it in his d..."

She stopped mid sentence and cursed herself. "Fuckity fuck." She clasped her hands over her mouth and sighed. Mr. London was lost for words, he opened a drawer from his desk and pulled out a pink slip. He scribbled something on it and handed it to Arista as she walked up to his desk. She stared at the ceiling and leered at it.

"This is all your fault." She shook her fist and ran out of the door.

"Can I be excused?" Brooklyn asked from the back of the class.

London raised and eyebrow. "What for?"

"I have a meeting with a career counsellor." London bought it and nodded his head.

Brooklyn knew if he wanted to talk to Arista he would have to do it now. He got up and walked out the door of the classroom.

Zeo watched them both leave wondering if the redhead was really going to go to a career counsellor. He doubted it.

Amber cleared her throat. Lately it was getting harder for her to talk. She hadn't eaten anything since lunch and that was only water and ramen noodles. She sighed and rubbed at her throat. If this kept up she would lose her voice. Amber ran down the hallway towards the water fountain and gulped in water to her parched throat.

It felt cool and good against her warming insides. A few droplets spattered to the floor. She ignored that and took another drink of water. When she was done she made her way to the library with hopes of getting her history paper finished. It was on Julius Caesar. They did everything the same every year except more in depth, larger amounts or homework, and elaborated on detail. Plus there were more courses added to their options.

Amber wasn't happy. Why? Because she hadn't said anything to Kai. It was getting her all riled up that he wouldn't accept her apology all because he had too much fucking pride. His ego was the size of North America if he thought she hadn't meant it. She did, she was sorry from her heart because in all honestly she didn't mean to hurt him. And it would have never been to break his nose. She screwed up her eyes, and shook her head.

She felt shitty and all because Kai was being an asshole. If they were friends it would have been different. But they were anything but friends. Enemies made perfect sense. But she was tired of it. Tired of always fighting with him and tired of acting like she hated him. She wanted to be his friend because then she and Tala and Kai could all be comfortable around each other.

Tala and Kai were best friends, just like Amber and Tala. It wasn't fair that Kai could just come and steal him away. This was Tala. She and him had bathed together. They'd known each other since they were babies. They'd learned how to crawl together.

And she missed him. Even though Tala was always beside her, and always with her she still missed him. Didn't that sound psychotic. How could you miss someone so much when they were right beside you?

She continued towards the library contemplating on her thoughts. She wanted to just go to someone and tell them all her problems. But who could she tell? She didn't want to talk. How could she without a voice? At least that was what it felt like because her throat was hoarse and she could hardly string together three words.

If she just pushed these thoughts in a corner of her mind, she wouldn't have to think about it, she mused. She could just let things cool off for another few days. That usually helped. It was her best chance anyways. She really wanted to spend more time with Tala, but lately she'd been holding out on her best friend because of Kai.

Amber eyes narrowed. She sucked in air through her teeth and slumped her shoulders. Maybe locking this away would be much better than thinking about it. Ignoring it would help her because she didn't know what to make of the situation anyways.

She opened the double doors leading into the library and stepped in.

It was nearly empty when she went inside. She deliberately made her way towards the back and sat down at an empty table. A few tables away from her a teacher was printing out something from a computer. There was a scanner, and a photocopier off to the side.

Amber grinned and looked around in her school bag for the picture that Miyami had drawn. She found it and smoothed it out, the edges and corners were somewhat flat now. She ran her hands on it, then walked over to the photocopier and lifted the top. She slid the paper under it and pushed a few command buttons on the panel at the side. It was large and grey.

Paper started to come out from the side of the machine. Amber moved around it and looked over the newly printed pages. Ian was going to get it for putting such a disgusting image in her head. She snickered and put it down.

Behind her someone tapped her shoulder. Amber turned around an excuse already in her head to why she was copying pages and pages of a drawing. She opened her mouth but no sound came out. She stared at a female a few inches taller than her.

She had short black hair that rested a few centimetres above her shoulders. Black bangs were choppily clouded over chocolate brown eyes. Streaks of red and blue adorned her hair. There was a gem under her left eyebrow and one on her left nostril. She was wearing the school uniform, along with black combat boots. Her tie was strung around her waist, and hung down to mid thigh. Her black tartan skirt was longer the regulation going just past her kneecaps. The first two buttons on her white button down shirt were undone, and a black tank top was visible underneath.

Her lips were coated with black, and her eyes were surrounded with black as well. Amber couldn't believe her eyes. She blinked a few times and rubbed her tired eyes.

She swallowed, her lips rose into a curve. Her throat itched, but she didn't care. Instinctively she launched a hug around the other female, holding tightly afraid she would disappear into mist, or worse that this was only a dream.

Ruin grinned and hugged her best friend. It felt good to be back. Two months was a long time. Too long to realize that she couldn't live without Amber in her life. Too long to realise that she needed her friends. She had only gone away to see if she could go on without them. That was a bust because she'd found out she needed her friends there. And, she closed her eyes, she needed Tala.

Behind them, the photocopier buzzed signalling it was out of paper. Amber smiled and laughed. She let go of Ruin and took in a deep breath.

Brooklyn easily caught up to Arista in the hallway. There was a class walking down and into a classroom. Other than that it was empty.

Arista sidestepped. She growled when he sidestepped closer to her.

"What do you want?"

"You really want to know? Okay, I want you to stop fucking ruining everything of mine!"

"And why should I stop? Because you want me to? I don't think so, Ginger."

Brooklyn narrowed his eyes. "Ginger?"

"You hair is red, and beside it suits you better because there is actually a city named Brooklyn, and your name shouldn't be that anyway. Ginger suits you better."

"And how long did it take you to come up with that?" He sneered.

She ignored him, and walked quicker. "What do you want besides what you said before?" She stopped and turned around waiting for an answer. She scratched at her arms again.

He rolled his eyes. "Stop that. You'll ruin your skin."

"And why do you care?" She shot back not looking up.

"I don't." He replied automatically.

"So stop telling me what to do, then."

"You have such a bad memory."

She looked up and practically radiated anger. His eyes locked on hers amusedly.

"And you have such stinky breath. Get a breath mint. Or better yet get a whole pack of them." She started her way downstairs after opening the stairs door and walking in. He followed her and stopped her by blocking her way down.

He stopped and breathed in air in front of her. Then breathed out in front of her face. It smelled like vanilla cream. She stared at him confusedly, and raised and eyebrow.

"What are you doing?"

"You said I needed a breath mint, do you still think so?"

"Ah, I don't know and I don't care."

"So what did it smell like?"

"Vanilla cream or something." Her stomach rumbled. "Awe, I'm hungry. It's all your fault. I want pie now. Ugh, move out of my way. I have to go to the office and get lectured."

Brooklyn smirked. She didn't even realize the worth of what she'd said. He'd get back at her, and he would hurt her. He would enjoy it too. He walked down the rest of the stairs after her. She had already disappeared down the hall and into the principals office. He'd wait for her to come out.

umi n secylia: I'm updating now. :P I'm glad you like it. Thanks for the review, hun.

twerp: Hey. That's okay, I'm happy that you reviewed though. I get lazy sometimes too, with updating and everything so I don't mind. Enjoy

Danslespommes: I love writing the practical jokes, seriously. It's all Gems' fault. She started all of it. I feel all warm inside knowing that you like my writing. And there should be more of Johnny. I'll add more of him.

anonymous: Hi! Glad you loved it. I updated!

unknown: I love reviews and I'm really happy you like my writing. Do you have any fics up?

Shaedowe: Hello. I'm glad you like it. Here's what the coach wants, read and review please.

StarAngel Caelum SunSoar: Hiya, I'm glad you like it too. Don't worry I'll keep writing because I want to and because I like to. Thanks for the review.

Alexis : Digital Survivor: Read and see if she does. Aww, your reviews are really nice. Yeah, but it had to be done. I got bit by a snake once, cept it wasn't poisonous or anything and my hand didn't swell.

Thank you all for reviewing, without you there would never be updates. So until next time.

Hasta, Arcada!