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#13 - excessive chain

Heard It Through

- in which there is an orgy. Or something. -

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"So is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"Were Weasley and Parkinson really caught in some really compromising situation in one of the broom closets last night? That was what I heard, and I figured since the two of you are his best friends and all..."

"Compromising situation?"

"Like, snogging or... Well, you know. Doing... something..."

"No, it wasn't like that. They were just hiding from Filch in there."

"Really? Are you sure? Because maybe that's just what Weasley is saying..."

"No, really, that's what happened. We were there."

"You were there? Why weren't you caught then?"

"We were under the... Err... I mean... We had time to find a better hiding place."

"Oh, ok. Why were you all out in the middle of the night anyway?"

"Err. Just felt like taking a walk. Err. You know how it is sometimes..."

"Well, no. But if you say so..."

The curious Hufflepuff left, and Harry and Hermione stared after him.

"The things people will believe." Hermione shook her head. "We shouldn't have said we were there, though, next there will be rumours that we were all having an orgy or something."

"Yeah, wouldn't want that to get out," Harry muttered sarcastically.

-

In the end, Harry and Hermione decided that it would probably be better if they didn't tell Ron that their nightly excursion looking for clues had resulted in rumours of him making out with - or doing something with - Pansy Parkinson in a broom closet. It wasn't his fault, after all, that he hadn't had time to get under the invisibility cloak like the two of them had when they ran into her. And it wasn't really Ron's fault that he and Pansy couldn't find a better hiding place than the broom closet when Filch showed up.

Besides, they figured, the rumouor would die out soon enough if they just left them alone.

-

"Hey, Ron! I heard you had some... adventures last night." Seamus paused and wiggled his eyebrows, stressing the adventures. "You and Parkinson were caught in a closet, and Harry and Hermione were there too but managed to get away. Is that true?"

Ron turned around in his seat to look at Seamus and Dean. "Oh, you heard about that? Did Harry tell you?"

"No, I heard it from Ernie MacMillan, who heard it from some Ravenclaws, who heard it from some guy who overheard Harry and Hermione talking about it."

"Err... Oh. Okay... Well, Parkinson and I got detention." Ron grimaced. "Harry and Hermione got away, though. And Neville and Ginny weren't there yet, so they got away too."

Seamus and Dean stared at him. "Neville... and Ginny too?" Seamus asked, faintly.

Ron shrugged, and turned his (lack of) attention back to Professor Binns, trying not to think of the upcoming detention.

-

Harry was sitting at a table in the library with Neville, working on some schedules for the DA, when they heard the voices nearby.

"So you heard about the Weasley and Parkinson-thing, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, apparently that's not even the half of it. Potter and Granger were there too, and they were all waiting for - get this - Longbottom and Weasley's little sister."

"Oh, come on. That's just a rumour. You know how people get."

"I would, but Weasley said so himself! Told Finnigan and Thomas. Seriously."

"No way."

"I know."

"The Weasleys are apparently a really weird family."

In hindsight, it probably would have been better to inform Ron of the rumours, Harry decided.

-

Ron rather wondered why people were giving him odd stares all day, and Harry and Hermione just squirmed when he asked what was going on and muttered something about it probably having to do with him being out after curfew and getting detention for it. So it wasn't until Luna Lovegood showed up, an accusing look on her face, that he found out.

"Harry, Ronald, Hermione. I'm quite disappointed in you," she informed them sternly. "It really isn't polite to arrange an orgy and not invite all your friends, you know."

Ron gaped.

Harry and Hermione squirmed some more.

-

Pansy Parkinson survived the day by retreating to her dorm and refusing to come out for the rest of the day after she heard that people actually had the audacity to believe she would lower herself to doing sordid things with redheads who weren't only Gryffindors but Weasleys as well. In broom closets of all places.

Later, Ron would use this as proof that Gryffindors were indeed braver than Slytherins.

-

By dinnertime, it was a well-known fact in Hogwarts that Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, the Weasley siblings, Neville Longbottom and, for some reason, Pansy Parkinson, met for weekly orgies every Sunday night, and that they were sometimes joined by a house-elf. ("Well, they are very eager to please, I guess...")

Some also said that Snape had demanded that Dumbledore should add a new rule about orgies not being allowed at Hogwarts to the list of school rules. Rumour also had it that Filch strongly supported this motion, with added clauses of his own. ("Probably 'unless I'm involved as well'.")

-

All in all, most the students of Hogwarts went to bed feeling quite good about their day that night.

It wasn't many days before the incident seemed to be forgotten, though. Although Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny and Pansy did have people shyly pulling them aside or sending them letters asking if they could possibly join the orgy circle for quite some time afterwards.

They became pretty good at simply saying no without having their blood-pressure rise too much in a few weeks.

(Except Ginny, who found the whole thing amusing, and told the hopeful would-be club-members that the initiation test consisted of asking Snape for permission to hold an orgy-club meeting in the Potions classroom, where he would be the guest of honour.

No one ever passed the initiation test.

Though rumour had it that one especially brave - or, perhaps, stupid - Gryffindor had actually attempted it.

Rumour also had it that said boy's grandchildren would still be suffering from the hex that was put on him.

But that was just a rumour.)