Disclaimer: I, in no way, own Lord Sesshoumaru. I wish…tears

A/N: Extremely bored + too much free time parody. This is just something to keep me busy between chapters of my other story. Hope you like it. Not the most original piece but it's not so bad.

The Diary of Sesshoumaru

Day 1, Entry 1

Just went through puberty. Voice is now deep and sexy.

Went out to warn father with new sexier voice. He didn't listen.

Day 1, Entry 2

Father died today…took his swords with him. Damn.

Mother ran away with another dog demon. Oh well, she was bitchy anyways.

In other news, I have a baby brother now. Note to self, must kill him later for being half human.

Hair looking good.

Day 2, Entry 3

Found one of father's swords hanging from a tree demon. Took it. Tree was ugly.

Tested it out on animal. The thing is still alive. Damn. I think I was gypped.

Day 3, Entry 4

Changed clothes. Other one looked too girly.

Hair still looking good.

Day 4, Entry 5

Killed old demon hag with no fashion sense that got in my way. Some toad just called me beautiful. Can't say I disagree.

Day 4, Entry 6

Toad is now my minion. I found its name is Jaken. Toad is really ugly. Gave him a staff to hide behind.

Day 24, Entry 7

Haven't written in a while. Forgot diary at home.

Hair retains the same amount of silkiness.

Day 25, Entry 8

Went out to kill brother. Heard he got sealed to a tree. Perfect timing…really…

Day 25, Entry 9

It rained.

Hair is now wet. Had to hide in a cave with ugly toad. My life is great.

Day 30, Entry 10

Got back to house. Had a meeting with the other lords. They're not as pretty as I am.

I'm now Lord of the West. Happy but must not show emotion. Has to keep sense of mystery to attract fangirls.

Day 31, Entry 11

Went to war with cat demons. Panthers? Yea whatever, cats all the same.

Got an army of demons, they're all ugly. This world is corrupt.

Day 32, Entry 12

Demons got beaten. They ran back crying for my help. Joy.

Day 33, Entry 13

Defeated the cats single handedly. Oh yea, I'm good.

A stupid wolf demon won't leave me alone. His head is too large.

Hair still good after battle.

Day 18,283, Entry 14

Lost diary for 50 years. Just found it in the fluff.

I'm now looking for father's grave. Want another swords. Too lazy to go have one made.

Day 18,284, Entry 15

Found another empty grave. Wonderful.

Got to show off dancing skills though. One good thing at least.

Thinking of breaking that staff. The laughing annoys me.

Day 18,284, Entry 16

Can't find any boats. Not swimming. It involves wetting hair.

I forgot to bring my hair dryer. Can't get hair wet. Has to go find boat.

Day 18,284, Entry 17

I'm surrounded by smelly humans. This days just keeps getting better doesn't it?

They think they can beat me. That's rich. They should quit being bandits and be comedians.

Day 18,284, Entry 18

Had toad kill humans. Didn't want to get blood on hand. Just got a manicure, it was still wet.

Fail to drown toad. Damn.

Heard that brother was unsealed. Great. Now I gotta go and try to kill him now.

I'm still sexy.