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#14 - radio-cassette player
What The Oracle Said
- in which we learn that having a crazy family has its perks -
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Ron Weasley realised at a fairly young age that his family was nuts. It wasn't that it bothered him much, really, it was simply an undisputable fact. Honestly, what else was a young boy supposed to think when his dad dragged home Muggle artefacts that he then proudly proceeded to enthusiastically demonstrate to his family - despite the fact that they very rarely actually worked?
"It's like a radio, only it works on eccelectricity!"
Arthur was in one of his best moods the day he brought home the radio-cassette player. He beamed happily and proceeded to experiment with it whenever he happened to have some spare time over the following week or so. However, despite his best efforts to connect it to the plugs in his collection, it refused work. ("Might have something to do with our not being connected to one of those networks," Arthur sighed, shaking his head sadly.)
So true to form, he proceeded to experiment with it using various spells and hexes instead. Later, he wasn't quite sure how he'd managed it, but somehow, what he managed to do was to make the thing sprout advice to whoever was about when it felt it was necessary. ("So it's like an oracle," commented little Ginny, who wasn't quite on the clear with what an oracle actually was - though Percy was quick to explain it very thorougly to her. However, since that day the casette player was commonly referred to by the Weasleys as the Burrow Oracle.)
How it ended up with Ron was anyone's guess (though it might have something to do with the fact that Molly was rather fond of how it kept telling him to clean up the mess in his room or brush his teeth or stop trying to hide from his mother when she had chores for him over and over until he got so fed up with it that he actually did what it said.), and why Arthur, who usually held on to his Muggle artefacts like a dragon to a treasure, didn't do just that in this case was an even bigger mystery (though it might have had something to do with the fact that the thing kept informing him he should "stop messing with things he knew nothing about before he ended up up the creek without a paddle." Or at least read the instruction manual before he did.).
Ron actually tried to discretely "accidentally misplace" it a few times. But somehow it always found its way back, and he was never sure why. (Though he did suspect a conspiracy between his siblings to annoy him as much as possible - not counting Percy, of course, who probably just genuinely thought the thing was useful for him.) And over the years, the spell - or spells, or hexes, or whatever had affected it - slowly started to wear off, and by the time Ron was seventeen, it hadn't said a word for years, and he had practically forgot about its existence. It just stood there in a corner in his room, usually buried beneath a layer or two of other things.
So when Ron found himself alone in his room with Pansy Parkinson one day that summer, it was the last thing on his mind. Pansy's father had had some business with Ron's father, and for some reason Pansy had been dragged along. ("Ginny's out, but why don't the two of you go chat? You're in the same year, aren't you? You probably have a lot to talk about.") And so, they found themselves seated in Ron's room, looking at each other in silence, both feeling rather uncomfortable, not quite sure what to say, and not just a little bored. Not to mention awkward.
Of course, this was when the cassette-player decided to give its first piece of advice for years, as it promptly informed Ron he should just kiss the girl. That was when Ron decided he'd had quite enough of it, and dropped the family Oracle out the window. This time, it shattered and was later thrown away (without Arthur's knowledge, just in case) and it never returned to its place in the corner of Ron's room.
Although later, Ron almost regretted it a little, as he came to the conclusion that had been the most pleasant piece of advice it had ever given him after all.