Disclaimer: I dont own Final Fantasy 7, Or Diablo2 SO NOW YOU CAN'T SUE ME! HAHHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH

FF7: The Attack Of The Martians II

" Yo wasup dawgs? How u hangin?" Vincent said.

"umm, didn't you die?", Cloud said. Just then, an alien appeared and started to mine coal.

"Hi lil fella, how are you doing? Why are you mining coal?" Tifa said, hoping it would explode like everything else.

"My stupid commander, Xxargha'Inlagh, Or jimmy, as we call him, is making me mine coal because the goat i sacrificed was aleady dead! And it was a farret too! By the way, my names is Xphlobianami,

also known as derek.",The Alien Said.

"Aww thats SOOOOO sad. Can i keep him cloud? can i? can i?" Yuffie said.

"Sure, I love animals! But first we need a cage. Hmmm..." Cloud Pondered. "I know, let's go beat up an alien!"

So they ran away back to midgar ( or what was left of what was already left of it) and cloud did a super jump and cut open the mothership. 800,000 aliens fell out and exploded. Then 70 fell out and did not exploded.

They were happy.

The KingMan, Xxargha'Inlagh, or Jimmy, Then pulled out a lightsaber and started to fight Cloud. He cut clouds big sword in half, so Yuffie, Tifa, Derek, Vincent, And Cloud ran away all the way to russia, where they found Cait Sith, and had a party, later having Tifa And Cloud get married. They ran away to somewhere far away for they're honeymoon. Then they came back, with sailor #1, who was legally renamed to Philly. Philly Jakson.

"Hello, Mates! I be thee toughest sailor on the sea!" Philly Said.

"Hey, didn't you die like... umm... 3 or 4 times?" Derek Said.

"Why, yes i did, an its a doggone shame that doggy didnt come back to life", Said Philly.

He was sad. So he cried. And he cried. And he cried. And he cried. And he cried.

And then cait sith punched him so hard that Doggy came back to life!

"It's a miracle! Let's go kill that bum, Xxargha'Inlagh, or jimmy,so we can save the world and be rich!" Philly Said

"Yea, but first i wanna see your power! It must be so cool!" Cloud exclaimed.

"My...Power? I didnt know we had to have a power." Philly said, Wicked sad. So he gloomily ran away, to go get a ship.

" Man, thats so sad. Guys, i think we should go help him find his ship. And his mom",Cloud said

"I didn't know he had been looking for his mom. Thats sort of sad." Red said.

"What ever lets go and find a Ship for philly before it gets dark out.My mom says i gotta be in by 9",Cloud said

"Haha, you still live with your mom!" Barret yelled. "Whend you get here?" Cloud questioned.

"I ... dont...know..." , barret said, so for 8 long hours, they looked for a ship for philly.

Finnaly they found a ship with 14 goats and a ostrich driving it.

"Umm, mister ostrich, can i have your ship? Pretty please?" Cloud whined.

"Okie Dokey Hokey Pokey" Mr O said."Wow, this adventure get weirder and weirder" Cloud said.

So they drove away in their new ship to find Philly, but when they found him, it was not a pleasant sight...

"MOM, PHILLY?" Cloud screamed, " HOW COULD YOU?"

"Umm, what are ye talking about, boy?", said a random pirate.

"Oops, wrong guy. Anyway,wanna help us kill Jimmy?" "Sure!"

So the gang kept on looking for Philly. Until They found him and he exploded. Then he came back to life.

"So guys, lets go to the chaos sanctuary and see if Diablo wants to help us. I mean, he might be able to let us ride on his back all the way to planet mars to talk with their leader." Cloud told them.

"Hmm... Seems dangerous ",Tifa said, blowing up the head of Vincent, who just happened to be listening.

Then it grew back. So they drove an airplane all the way too the pandimonium fortress.

"Greetings mortal",Tyrael said, " O it's you guys. Guess what? Izzy has been corrupted. Now im lonely."

"Umm, yea, so you wanna help us kill the aliens?" Cloud asked.

"Sure, whatever, i dun got anything better to do.", Tyrael told them.

So they walked down to chaos sanctuary, ready to go through rigorous trials just to see Diablo.

But when they came down, they saw the Grand Vizier Of Chaos at a desk.

"Do you have an appointment?", he asked.

"Umm, where is diablo?"

"He is at a meeting. Can i take a message?" he said.

"Yes, eat this! " Vincent said, shooting Vizier, killing him.

"Lets go bust a meeting, homie! " Vincent yelled.

So they went to seal #4 and Yelled to diablo, " Diablo, come help us kill diablo..er... i mean the aliens!"

"Nice, ill see you Bussinessmen L8er!", Diablo said, as he jumped in a cloud with the gang and flew to midgar.

On the way, they found a mutated Deer named Leopold Bergin. It killed things.

So they burst in front of the MotherShip and blew up the aliens. Unfortunately, Diablo Exploded 93 times in the process. But he came back to life, at least. So the Boss, Xxargha'Inlagh, Or jimmy, finnaly fought with Cloud.

"So Xxargha'Inlagh, or jimmy, it has finally come down to just the two of us,

and everyone else thats here." Cloud said. "Yes, you are CORRECT! MWHAHAHA!" ,Xxargha'Inlagh yelled.

So Xxargha'Inlagh died. So the gang stole their mothership and flew to mars, where they quickly exploded, except tifa, who was wearing a spacesuit. Then they rematerialized in space suits. VERY dirty space suits...

Thats chapter 2! R&R, PLEASE! I NEED REVIEWS!