It's all Greek to me
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Smithers, for attempting to kill me, I'm giving you a 5 pay cut"
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Skysong – You can add 'Mam' to the Mum-Mom argument. That's' what I use, the Welsh version
Happy 4th of July to those who celebrate it. Fireworks frighten me. Yes, yes they do.
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ACT 4 - A Godnapping
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We open on Mt Olympus at night, baby Jottern and baby Sam curled up in a crib, two ominous shadows loom over it and we hear something breaking, causing Mystique and Sabertooth to sit up in their bed.
"Last time I share a bed with him", mutters Mystique darkly.
"People, please", says Evan, "I haven't had my moo-juice yet and I'm cranky, so GET TO WORK!"
"The baby!", they shout in unison.
They run to the nursery, only to find Jottern with his head shoved up a basket
"SAMUEL!", screams Mystique
"Wow", says Evan "you do a good heartbroken mother!"
"Thank you", says Mystique, taking a bow, "I've had plenty of practise"
"Noooo!", shouts Sabertooth.
There are thunder clashes and we see Todd and Freddy flying, or trying to fly with their stubby elf wings, with baby Sam between them.
"Now we did it!", whimpers Todd, "Sabes is gonna use us for target practice!"
"Just hang onto the kid, Panic", says Freddy.
They hit the ground with a THUNK and baby Sam starts crying
"That HURT!", he cries.
Todd hops panicky from foot to foot
"..I can see why this guy is called 'Panic'", he says, "Hurry! Let's just kill the kid and get it over with, okay?"
Fred gets out the vial, and sticks it in baby Sam's mouth, who starts to drink it
"Here you go, kid, a little Grecian formula", he says.
"Look at that!", gasps Todd, "He's.. changing!"
As he drinks, baby Sam's Godly glow starts to...err...stop glowing
"Can we do it now?", pleads Todd.
"No, no, no", says Freddy, "he has to drink the whole potion! Every last drop"
"Spoilsport", mutters Todd.
They stops as they hear a voice
"Who's there?", Xavier pauses, "...I have to be the farmer!"
Todd and Fred dash off, dropping the -almost- empty vial, as one single drop hits the ground. Xavier wheels over, a torch stuck to his wheelchair, noticing baby Sam
"Gabriel, over here", Xavier pauses, "...my ex wife? This is too much!"
"Wow, Sabes and Mystique, Xavier and Gabriel...such evilness!", says Evan.
Gabriel notices baby Sam, and goes over, picking him up
"Oh, you poor thing!", she says, "Oh, don't cry...I miss being a mother"
"No comment", mutters Xavier then looks around, "Is anybody there?"
Todd and Fred peek out from behind a rock
"Now?", asks Todd.
"Now", nods Freddy.
They sneak toward the trio, their shadows showing them transforming into snakes
"Oh well, he must have been abandoned", shrugs Xavier.
"For so many years we've prayed to the gods to bless us with a child", sighs Gabriel.
"Look, I'm sorry the one we have is a physco", says Xavier, "IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
"Can we keep personal issues off set, please?", asks Evan.
"Perhaps they've answered our prayers", muses Gabriel, then ads under her breath, "looser"
They look at the medallion around baby Sam's neck, with 'Samuel' written on the back
"Perhaps they have... Samuel?", he says, then mutters equally quietly, "cow"
Suddenly, the Todd and Fred snakes attack, only to have baby Sam grab them, he giggles smacking their heads into the ground a couple of times, before tying them into a knot, flinging them far away. Xavier and Gabriel watch, open mouthed as baby Sam giggles, waving them off. Todd and Fred hit a mountain with a THUNK, before dropping, changing into themselves, trying to untangle their tails.
"Pyro is gonna kill us when he finds out what happened", whimpers Todd.
"You mean, if he finds out", smirks Freddy
"Of course he's gonna f...", Todd trails off, then smiles, "If.. if is good"
The scene shows Olympus, with various Gods, including Kurt, Piotr, Roberto and X23, Sabes sending them off in various directions.
"It was tragic", Rogue's voice comes over the action, "Zeus led all the gods on a frantic search"
We cut to the muses standing by a few vases again
" But by the time they found the baby, it was too late", says Kitty sadly, as Amanda begins to sing.
Young Sam was mortal now
But
since he did not drink the last drop
He
still retained his Godlike strength
So
thank his lucky star!
We see a picture of baby Sam throttling the Todd and Fred snakes on a vase. It then cuts to Sabes giving Mystique a hug on Mt Olympus, baby Jottern hovering by them, as this too changes into a scene on a vase, Amanda still singing.
But Sabes and Raven wept
Oooooh oooh oooh, intone the other muses as Amanda continues
Because their son could never come home
They'd
have to watch their precious baby
Grow
up from afar
Though Pyro's horrid plan
Was
hatched before Sam cut his first tooth
We see Sam picking up his house to get a ball from under it on the vase
The boy grew stronger ev'ry day
And that's the gospel truth!
The gospel truuuuth, sing the muses together.
"And that's a wrap!", smiles Eva, "okay, now let's unbaby Sam, and will someone get Xavier and Gabriel from around each others throats?"
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Ahh such madness is healthy, I'm sure it is. Do review. Until next time…