Disclaimer: I dont own ff7 and diablo2. My disclaimers are so boring. I like Hyper Guyvers. They're Cool. At least mine is purple. i think. thanks to Lenna the Fallen One! your like the only one who reviewed!

FF7: The Attack Of The Martians: III

Then, leo ran away and started a big drunken fight with some aliens.

" You wanna mess, goat-burp-boy", an alien said.

" Moo, moo moo moooooooo! Sure, alien-liver!", Leo said.

After a long fight between the alien warrior Liopoli'Pitala and leo, the alien warrior died. and exploded.

He explodedly died.

"Wow, Leo, howd u do that? I always thought you were just a stupid mutated goat."

Those were the last words of patchie the Pirate. God bless his mutant-deer-eaten soul.

"Moo, moo moooooo moo moo", Leo said.

"Well, at least you had a reason," said tyrael, " And dont mutated goats say 'heesnaw', not moo?".

Those were the last words of Tyrael the Angel. God bless his mutant-deer-eaten soul.

" Leo, thats enough senseless carnage" "Moo moo moo? "Fine, but ONLY vincent"

"WHAT?dawg" Vincent said.

Those were the last words of Vincent the...well...um...vincent. God bless his mutated-deer-eaten soul.

Then Hello kitty came. She was eaten also.

But little did we know, she didnt really die, and was a highly-trained ninja. With a sword. A BIG sword.

So the gang started to walk towards the capital city of Min' Astir. Then Cid appeared.

"I thought we were missing someone," Cloud said.

"YES! sniffsniff how could you cloud? you said we would always be together." Cid said.

"Umm, no i didn't. Im M-A-R-R-I-E-D to Tifa," Cloud told him.

"Oh. Ok. Can i help you kill things too? PLEASE," Cid asked.

"Sure, whatever. Hey, how did I kill Xxargha'Inlagh if in the first fight, he cut my sword in half?" Cloud asked.

" I dont know." Tifa replied

"Hey guys, ill go search ahead. Hey I wonder why what those spider-looking metal things ar-BOOM"

Those were the last words of Cid The Pilot. God bless his Spider-Exploded soul.

"Well, I dont think we should walk on that MINEFIELD" Cloud exclaimed.

"Umm, yea cloud, I think we already knew that.

After Cid exploded. And Died. Explodedly Died," Siad Tifa.

So they flew their spaceship over the bombs, right into the Mars Hq. They Screamed. But didn't die.

"Wow, we screamed, but didn't die. This is the best day in my life...thing..." Diablo said.

Then he walked away.

"Cmon, lets go kill some aliens. But i hear they're rubber is very strong. Watch Out,"Cloud told them.

"What would that have anything to do with anything?" Tifa asked.

"It means theyre Rubber is very strong, Duh!" Diablo answered.

"Stay outta this D! This beef is between us!" Tifa told him.

"Umm, what?" Cloud said, before Tifa knocked him out.

- 5 hours later -

"ha, YOUR the leader of us? you can't even take one punch from a girl," Diablo said.

3 hours later, tifa had a new skin coat.

"Wow, cloud, was it really that gross?" Tifa said to a vomiting Cloud.

Then D came back to life

" OH MY GOD! DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE DID TO ME? AAAHHHH STAY AWAY!" A skinless diablo screamed, before growing back his skin.

"There, your skin is back! Man, your such a baby.", Tifa said.

Diablo was scared, so he went a different way when they went to look for a way in the Hq.

"Now...er.. Tifa.. er.. you have to stop...er IM SORRY! DONT KILL ME!" Cloud cried.

"Thats for me to decide." Tifa replied.

"AAAAHHHH!" Cloud screamed and ran the same way, following diablo.

"Wow, Tifa, that was cool,"Yuffie said. " Wanna teach me later?"

"Sure, ill teach you" Tifa said, walking into Hq.

"Wow, men are stupid. We are right in front of Hq, and they go away to look for it?" Tifa said, and then they stopped.

Because right then, Hello Kitty was standing right in front of them, Katana drawn, holding Diablos head.

Thats chapter 3. I know its short, but i usually update fast, right? 3 chapters in 3 days. amazing. lol.