It's all Greek to me
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "He's an idiot. Comes from upbringing. His parents are probably idiots too. Lorraine, if you ever have a kid that acts that way I'll disown you"
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Magcat – X-23 is indeed, Athena. It's sad she had such a small role in the movie, she was great fun in the show.
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ACT 5 - Growing pains
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We open in the country side, where a hay wagon is going unnaturally fast. We see Xavier is sitting on the cart, next to him is Gauntlet stuffed into a donkey suit.
"A donkey!", asks Gauntlet.
"Yup, looks that way", smiles Evan, "Todd Fan thinks you're an ass. Bad dum bump!"
"Samuel", cries Xavier, "SLOW DOWN!"
We see Sam, now the gangly teen we know and love, is pulling the cart...or rather cannonballing as he drags the cart behind him. He enters a village, almost knocking a few random workers from the entrance
"Oops!", he calls over his shoulder, "S-s-sorry guys"
Sam enters the middle of the square and stops, burring himself into the ground shoulders-deep
"...After this, I'll go have a nice, relaxing drive with Kitty", says Xavier with a nervous laugh, "Thanks, son. When old Gauntlet twisted her ankle back there, I thought we were done for"
"HER!", screams Gauntlet.
"No problem, 'Pop'", smirks Sam.
He grabs the entire cart load of hay with one hand
"Uh, don't-don't-don't unload just yet. First I have to finagle with Petronette"
"Okay", says Sam, dropping the load back onto the cart, catapulting Gauntlet into the sky with a 'heee-haw', "Oops, sorry, Gauntlet".
"Now, Samuel, this time, please just...", starts Xavier.
"A'h know, a'h know", Sam sighs, catching Gauntlet as he drops to the ground, "Stay by the cart"
"That's my boy", smiles Xavier.
"Ah'm not even going to say the physiological damage this is doin' to me", sniffs Sam, "All these fathers, and not one is my real one!"
Xavier wheels off, leaving Sam alone. Sam notices Kelly struggling with a very large pot. He goes into his shop, catching it before it drops
"Careful!", says Sam cheerfully.
"Why thank you", says Kelly, not seeing who helped him.
"No problem", smiles Sam, peering around the side of the pot, not noticing Kelly's face turn into one of pure terror.
"Why, Samuel! It's you!". Says Kelly nervously.
"Let me, let me help you with that", offers Sam.
Kelly hugs the pot close to him protectively, even if it almost buries him
"No, no, no, no, no", he says, "I got it. I'm fine, you just run along"
"Are you sure?", asks Sam.
"Oh, yes. Absolutely", says Kelly.
Sam gives a sad sigh, walking out of the shop, when a discus lands at his feet. He picks it up, watching as Duncan, Lucid and Griff run over.(1)
"Yo!", shouts Duncan, "Give it here!"
"Hey, you need an extra guy?", asks Sam hopefully.
"Uh.. sorry, Sam. We already got", Duncan pauses, thinking not a normal part of his daily activities, "...five. And we want to keep it an even number"
Sam blinks
"Hey, wait a second", he says, "Five isn't an even..."
Duncan takes his chance, stealing the discus and running off
"See ya, Sam", he says.
"What a geek!", snorts Lucid
"Destructo boy", says Griff
"Maybe we should call him 'Jerkuel'", chuckles Duncan.
"...Well, they're friendly, aren't they?", says Sam sarcastically.
He sighs, sitting down and looking dejected before the discus makes it's way towards him again
"Heads up!", shouts Duncan.
"Ah..ah got it!", shouts Sam, jumping at it, and ending up sailing into a pillar, which starts to fall, "Uh-oh.. Oh no!.. It's okay"
He grabs it, but the one next to it collapses, causing a domino effect throughout the square, seeing this, Sam throws the pillar he was holding away, but it hits another standing pillar and another domino wave starts going around the square on the opposite side.
"Bet it sucks to be Sam right now", smiles Evan
Sam runs after the domino destruction, passing Xavier
"...Oh dear lord, looks like I'm bankrupt again", he says, "Son!"
"Hang on, Pop!", shouts Sam, "Be right back!"
By some cruel, yet funny twist of fate, both domino effects are heading for Kelly's shop in the middle. Kelly panics, gathering his pots in his arms, watching as the tide of destruction heads his way.
"Oh my! Oh no! Don't", he cries, "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"
Luckily, both pillars stop, seemingly sparing his shop...until Sam slips on the ground, hurtling into the shop, bringing it all down on Kelly's head. When the dust settles, there is no more market square. None of the villagers look too happy with Sam, who picks up the discus. Duncan comes over, snatching it from him.
"Nice catch, Jerkuel", sneers Duncan.
Xavier goes over to comfort Sam
"..Son"
Kelly yoinks his head out of a clay pot
"This is the last straw, Xavier!", he snarls.
"That boy is a menace!", shouts Mrs Pryde
"He's too dangerous to be around normal people!", shouts Mr Pryde
"He didn't mean any harm, he's just a kid. He", Xavier sighs, "he just can't control his strength"
"I am warning you. You keep that-that-that", Kelly waves his hands, ".. freak away from here!"
The crowd agrees, and the scene cuts to Sam and Xavier sitting on a grassy hillside, overlooking the valley
"Son", says Xavier, "one day, all of this will be yours, everything the light touches..."
"...Wrong movie", points out Evan.
"...Sorry", coughs Xavier, "Son, you shouldn't let those things they said back there get to you"
"But Pop, they're right. A'h...a'h am a freak. A'h try to fit in, a'h really do. A'h just can't. Sometimes", Sam sighs, ".. a'h feel like, like a'h really don't belong here. Like ah'm supposed to be.. someplace else"
"...Great...guilt", mutters Xavier, "Samuel, son..."
"A'h know it doesn't make any sense", says Sam, loping off to the edge of a cliff.
"Don't jump, Sam!", screams Evan, "the trauma isn't real!"
Sam picks up a rock, considering tossing it at Evan's head, before tossing it into the sea, it skims over the ocean out of sight as Sam begins to sing.
A'h have often dreamed of a far off place
Where
a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me
Where
the crowds will cheer when they see my face
And
a voice keeps sayin' this is where Ah'm meant to be
We cut to Sam walking through a forest, before climbing up a tree, looking at the starry sky, still singing.
A'h will find my way a'h can go the distance
Ah'll
be there someday
If
a'h can be strong
A'h
know every mile
Will
be worth ma'h while
A'h
would go 'most anywhere to feel like a'h belong.
He heads back home, where Gabriel and Xavier are waiting by the door for him
"Samuel, there's something your mother and I have been meaning to tell you", he says.
We cut inside, where he is sitting with his 'parents'
"But if you found me, then where did a'h come from?", asks Sam, "Why was a'h left here?"
Gabriel opens up a package on her lap, revealing the medallion Sam wore as a baby
"This was around your neck when we found you. It's the symbol of the gods", Gabriel sighs, "...kinda reminds me of something David had, before his mind was melded away"
"A pox on you, woman", snaps Xavier, pointing a finger at her, "a pox!"
Sam picks up the medallion, grinning and standing up.
"This is it! Don't you see?", he says excitedly, "Maybe they have the answers! Ah'll go to the temple of Sabes and..."
He pauses, looking at Xavier and Gabriel
"Ma, Pop, you're the greatest parents anyone could have, but", he sighs, ".. A'h..a'h gotta know"
We cut to the next morning, where Gabriel puts a shawl around Sam's shoulders, he hugs both her and Xavier, before heading off, going through mountain ranges, knocking over trees to get over chasms and such, going back to his song.
A'h am on my way
A'h
can go the distance
A'h
don't care how far
Somehow
ah'll be strong
A'h
know every mile
Will
be worth my while
A'h
would go most everywhere to find where a'h belong.
He heads off, following a sign pointing the way to the Temple of Sabes. He enters the temple, where a hug stone statue of Sabes is sitting. He looks at his medallion, which matches the one of Sabes' shoulder.
"Oh mighty Sabes, please, hear me and answer ma'h prayer", he says, "A'h need to know: Who am A'h? Wh-where do A'h belong?"
A gust of wind sweep through the temple, as a bolt of lightening hits Sabes. Flame ignites in braziers and Sabes' statue comes to life. Gods bless special effects
"My boy", says the stone Sabertooth, "My little Samuel"
He reaches down to pick Sam up. Sam's mouth twitches, before he runs the opposite way, screaming. Being Sam, he clumsily tips over a brazier, a candle getting stuck in his mouth. Sabes catches him as he tries to wriggle out of his huge stone hands...like a little tiny hamster.
"Hey, hey, hey, hold on kiddo!", he chuckles, "What's your hurry? After all these years is this a kind of hello to give your father?"
Sam's head pokes out between Sabes' fingers
"Father?", he squeaks.
Sabes grins holding him on his outstretched palm
"Now a'h know how Shortpack feels", mutters Sam (2)
"Didn't know you had a famous father, did you?", grins Sabertooth, "SUPRISE!"
As he bellows, a gust of wind almost knocks Sam off his feet
"Oww", mutters Sam.
"Look how you've grown", smiles Sam, "Why you've got your mother's beautiful eyes... and my strong chin. Hah!"
"If that were really true, a'h would have to hurt ma'hself", says Sam.
"Just play your part", snaps Evan, "what am I paying you people for!"
"...Paying?", asks Sabertooth.
"A'h...a'h don't understand", says Sam, "If you are ma'h father, that would make me a..."
"A god", nods Sabertooth
"A god", Sam blinks, "A GOD!"
Sam blinks again, sitting down heavily on Sabe's palm.
"Hey, you wanted answers, and by thunder, you're old enough to know the truth", says Sabertooth.
"But why did you leave me on earth?", asks Sam, "Didn't you want me?"
"Of course we did", says Sabertooth, "Your mother and I loved you with all our hearts but someone stole you from us and turned you mortal, and only gods can live on Mount Olympus"
"And you can't do a thing?", asks Sam.
"I can't, Samuel, but you can", smiles Sabertooth.
"R-really? W-what? A'h-ah'll do anything", says Sam.
"Samuel, if you can prove yourself a true hero on Earth, your godhood will be restored!", Sabertooth grins, "MAN, I'd make a good motivational speaker!"
"A true hero. Great!", Sam pauses, "Uh, exactly how do you become a true hero?"
"First, you must seek out Loganctetes, the trainer of heroes", Saberooth snorts, "Tee hee"
"Seek out Loganctetes. Right. Ah'll..."
Sam goes to step forwards, forgetting he is on Sabertooth's palm, falling off, Sabertooth catches him, lowering him to the ground
"Whoa! Hold your horses!", Sabertooth grins, "Which reminds me..."
Sabes gives a whistle. After a rather large scuffle, a star drops through the roof, turning into Jottern, luckily for the idiots inside, is now adult
"Ha-ha! You probably don't remember Jottern but you two go way back, son", says Sabertooth.
Jottern lands next to Sam, sniffing him before bonking his head and licking him
"...Scott?", asks Jean.
"Evan gave me some magic pixie drink", giggles Scott.
"...We're stuck in this suit with a drunk leading us", Warren whimpers, "Jean.. I believe we are going to die"
"Only the horse head may speak", says Evan, smacking the middle and rear of the horse with a spike, "and that's to make birdy-horsey noises!"
"Oh, Jottern!", grins Sam, giving Jottern a hug.
"He is a magnificent horse", says Sabertooth.
"HEY!", snaps Jean, "he?"
"This horse is more than half male, so you lose!", laughs Scott.
"With the brain of a bird", smiles Sabertooth
Jottern's wings droop
"I can't help but feel that last comment was aimed at me", Warren gives a small sob within the horse, "I think I need a hug"
"Okay!", says Scott cheerfully.
The panto horse scuffles around for a few moments before a loud 'smack' is heard.
"I was talking to Jean", growls Warren.
Sam jumps onto Jottern's back, with a few groans about hurt backs before Jottern takes to the air.
"Ah'll find Loganctetes and become a true hero!", says Sam.
"That's the spirit!", grins Sabertooth.
"A'h won't let you down, father!", says Sam.
Sabertooth blows on Jottern, sending them off into the night sky
"Yee-haw!", shouts Sam
"..Yee-haw?", asks Jean.
"Good luck, son", says Sabertooth, turning back into solid stone as Sam sings.
A'h will beat the odds
A'h
can go the distance
A'h
will face the world
Fearless,
proud and strong
A'h
will please the gods
A'h
can go the distance
Till
a'h find my hero's welcome right where a'h belong
As they fly beyond the clouds, we see above them the planets getting closer to alignment
"Ahhh foreshadowing", says Evan darkly.
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(1) – Griff appears now and again in my fics for reasons I cannot fathom. He was one of Lance's Chicago friends waaaay back in 'X-Impulse', only the second episode of the show.
(2) – For those who didn't read the Mystique comics, nor my Sidney Chronicles, Shortpack is a telepath who shrank with puberty, ending up being 8 inches tall. Shortpack rules, he's one of my favourite Marvel characters (and so, fades into obscurity).
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Yee haw, indeed! Do review, until next time...