All Greek to Me Chapter 9: The monster mash, a x-men: evolution fanfic

It's all Greek to me

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "When your world is ruled by an evil demon who wants to call it's undead minions 'Deadels', you call 'em 'Deadels'!" "Sounds like some evil undead candy"

&&&

ACT 9 - The monster mash (Now with 10 per cent more fangirls)

&&&

Where we last left out heroes, they were in a gorge, with a big, growly thing. A huge claws hand hits the ground as Jamie steps out in a HUGE monster costume

"How awesome is this?", grins the Jamiedra, "Boo-yah!"

"Lo..Lo...Lo..Logan?", squeaks Sam, "What do you call that thing?"

"Two words!", says Logan, "Am-scray!"

Logan runs off for safety as the Jamiedra towers over Sam, roaring

"...Ah'll just deal with this on ma'h own then, should a'h?", mutters Sam.

"Let's get ready to ruuuuuuumbllllllle!", shouts Pyro gleefully.

The Jamiedra growls, running after Sam, snapping at him, while Logan instructs from the sidelines

"That's it. Dance around! Dance around!", he shouts, "Watch the teeth. Watch the teeth Keep going. Come on. Come on. Lead with your left. Lead with your left! Your other left!"

"Stop helping me!", shouts Sam.

Sam grins, leaping out of the way, holding his hand out, realising his sword isn't in it...just as the sword lands five feet away from him. He tosses a big piece of rock at the Jamiedra, which chops it up into little pieces.

"Bwhahahahahahahahaha!", laughs the Jamiedra evily.

"...You think we're giving the kid a complex by letting him be evil?", asks Evan

As the Jamiedra goes to snap at him again, Sam catches his jaws in his hands as he's pushed towards his sword. He quickly makes a grab for it as the Jamiedra grabs his ankle with his tongue, tossing Sam into the air before catching him in his mouth, swallowing him in one gulp.

"Tastes just like chicken", says the Jamidra, "Kentucky Fried Chicken. Bad ump bump!"

"...And there goes my parody", groans Evan, "THANKS ALOT, JAMIE!"

The Jamiedra savours his meal, before moving in to the terrified Bayvillians

"No!", shouts Evan, "NO MORE CAST MEMBERS!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA", laughs the Jamidra, then pauses, looking worriedly at his neck, "...huh?"

With a swwwish, Sam's sword passes through, cutting off the Jamiedra's head, Sam plopping out, dazed and covered in green goop. The crowd gives more enthusiastic applause as Sam tries to holster his sword, missing and throwing it on the floor.

"See, Logan?", he says, swaying, "That...that wasn't so hard"

He collapses on the floor with a THUNK. Logan goes over to him, in Sam's dazed view, he sees three Logans.

"There's a scary thought", mutters Evan

"Kid, kid, kid", he says, "how many horns do ya see?"

Sam squints, concentrating.

"...Six?"

"...Eh, close enough", shrugs Logan, "Lets get you cleaned up"

As he helps Sam to his feet, it begins to rain, up in the mountain, Todd looks...well...panicky

"Guys, guys, relax", smirks Pyro, "It's only halftime"

As Sam and Logan move off, a rumbling issues from the Jamiedra's headless body

"That doesn't sound good", mutters Logan.

No duh. The body of the Jamiedra suddenly sprouts three new heads

"We LIIIIIVE!", scream(s) the Jamierda(s)

Logan squeaks, putting the sword back in Sam's hand

"Definitely not good!"

Logan runs off as Sam is chased by the now three-headed Jamiedra. Jottern swoops in from the cliffs, taking him out of harms way. As they weave in and out of necks, Sam keeps slicing off heads, only to have three more take their place every time...until he is face with a good thirty odd heads

"Will you forget that head-slicing thing!", screams Logan.

"I do not want to fly here anymore", sobs Warren, "I want to land, I WANT TO LAND"

"Err...I don't think we can", says Jean

"Pixie dust help's you fly!", giggles Scott drunkenly, "Gather the pixie dust with me!"

Sam is knocked off Jottern, and slides down a Jamiedra's neck. like a super-fun-happy-slide...only with a big set of teeth at the bottom

"Ah'm gonna die", he screams, "Logan, a'h don't think we covered this one in basic training!"

He manages to escape, only to get pinned to the cliff face by the Jamiedra, all it's many heads grinning evily.

"Call me too little to go Joyriding huh?", they/he roar, "Am I too little NOW Sam, Am I? AM I TOO BIG OF A CROWD NOW!".

"That was Bobby's idea, eat him!", squeaks Sam, ever the one for self-preservation.

"HEY!", shouts Bobby from backstage.

Pyro smirks from his mountaintop, trying to ignore all the rain

"My favourite part of the game", he smirks, "sudden death"

As the Jamiedra's head's come down to finish Sam off, he smashes his fists against the cliff he's pinned to. The rocks start to tumble down, the Jamiedra's looking up

"Oh...puddle"

The rocks fall on the Jamiedra(s), crushing him/them. Man, Jamie is a grammar nightmare. All that is left unburied is one closed claw, which now lies limp on the ground. Jottern whinnies from the air, as Logan and the crowd look on sadly as the rain stops

"Oh! There goes another one", winces Logan, "Just like Stevilles"

Pyro smirks, making a cigar out of smoke.

"Game. Set", he turns his thumb into a lighter, lighting it, "Match"

The crowd look on in horror as the Jamiedra's claw twitches, opening to show Sam in the middle, still alive. The Bayvillians blink, before cheering loudly. Light shines in the gorge as the crowd run in, picking Sam up and carrying him off

"Logan, you gotta admit, that was pretty heroic", says Sam.

"Ya did it, kid! Ya did it! You won by a landslide!", cheers Logan.

Up in the mountain, Pyro's cigar burns to ashes as he squeezes on Todd and Freddy's heads, making them burn. Tabby watches Sam get taken off by the crowd, before clapping quietly.

"Well. What do ya know?", she smirks.

The scene switches to our muses, looking at a vase with Sam killing the Jamiedra on it

"From that day forward, our boy Samuel could do no wrong", says Rogue, "He was so hot, steam looked cool"

Ohhhhhhh, yeah!

Bless my soul

Sam was on a roll

Person of the week in every Greek opinion poll, sings Dani, holding out a scroll.

What a pro!, sings Kitty

Rogue grins, singing her solo.

Sam could stop a show

Point him at a monster and you're talkin' S.R.O

We see Sam signing autographs with a chisel, and Pyro using his monster chessboard to send the Emymanthian boar to Sam, as the muses sing in unison.

He was a no one

A zero, a zero

Now he's a honcho

He's a hero!

He was a kid with his act down pat

Sam beats the boar and we see a vase with him holding it cooked on a plate

Zero to hero in no time flat

Zero to hero

Rogue clicks her fingers

Just like that, sings Rogue.

We see Sam walking through the street while various obsessed fangirls scream, among them are the promised extra fangirls, Sperrydee, Dischickdigsdafuzzydude, Magcat, and Skysong.

"...They'll get me later, a'h know it", he pauses, "why are there more?"

"Because Todd Fan wanted more, that's why", snapped Evan, so keep smiling!

When he smiled the girls went wild

With oohs and aahs

And they slapped his face on every vase, sings Dani

Jubilee smacks Dani over the head with a rolling pin, Dani retaliating by stuffing the vase on her head.

On every 'Vahse', corrects Jubilee, smacking Dani on the head with a rolling pin, Dani retaliating by stuffing the Vaahse on her head, while the other muses sing.

From appearance fees and royalties

Our Sam had cash to burn

Now nouveau riche and famous

He could tell you what's a Grecian urn

We see a statue of Sam erected, his face on a credit card and him rolling in money

"Yey!", giggles Sam, "money fight!"

"You guys are just borrowing my fortune..right?", asks Warren.

"Sure, War'", snorts Evan, "you'll get it back"

Sam, meanwhile, beats up the Nemean lion as the muses sing.

Say amen

There he goes again

Sweet and undefeated

And an awesome ten for ten

Folks lined up just to watch him flex

And this perfect package packed a pair of pretty pecs, sings Dani, holding up a Squeaky Sam, squeezing squeaky Sam's arms together so his chest pops out.

"...Dani is beginning to frighten me", whimpers Sam.

We see him beat a Stymphalian bird and the Python serpent, Pyro burning his model of the serpent

Sammy, he comes, he sees, he conquers

Honey, the crowds were goin' bonkers

He showed the moxie brains and spunk, yeah!

From zero to hero

A major hunk , sings Dani

Zero to hero, sing the muses.

And who'd have thunk, sings Rogue..

"...Thanks", mutters Sam.

The music kicks in, as the muses dance around a bit

Who put the glad in gladiator, sings Rogue

Samuel, sing the muses

Who's darin' deeds are great theatre, sings Amanda

We see kids recreating the Jamiedra battle

Samuel, sing the muses

Is he bold, sings Jubilee

No one braver, sing..random stone carvings

Is he sweet, sings Kitty.

Our favourite flavour, sing the muses.

As the muses sing, we see Sam drinking some SAMULADE! (1)

Samuel!

We see Xavier and Gabriel give each other a high five, their farmhouse now attached to a very large mansion

"Yey, money!", says Xavier, "even if I have plenty"

"Doesn't make up for my lost baby", grumbles Gabrielle.(who's name Todd Fan is no longer sure of how to spell)

"For the love of...", mutters Xavier

Samuel!

We see kids trying on Air-Sam sandals

Samuel!

Pyro points a Minotaur, Gorgon and a Griffin at Sam, and he beats all three at the same time

Bless my soul

Sam was on a roll

Undefeated

Riding high

And the nicest guy, sings Rogue

Not conceited

He was a nothing, zero, zero

Now he's a honcho, he's our hero!

We see Sam clog up a volcano, and then fly through the stars on Jottern making a certain starry ladies dress ride up as he passes

"Sorry!", shouts Sam, covering his eyes.

He hit the heights at breakneck speed

From zero to hero

We see Pyro thunk his head on his chessboard, and Sam and Jottern putting their hands in a clay walkway

Sam is a hero

Now he's a herooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Yes, indeed, finishes Rogue

"Thank Gods that's over", says Evan, "Is Jamie okay?"

We see Kurt pulling Jamie out of his monster suit, looking dazed

"Ja...I think"

"I'll get them. One day, I'll show them I'm not just the little kid of the house!", mutters Jamie, "Wait and see!"

"...Yeah...sure thing, Jamie", Evan rolls his eyes.

&&&&

(1) – An in joke. If you've ever played the game for the movie, health is gathered in bottle of Herculade. When you pick up a bottle of Herculade, a big, booming voice shouts HERCULADE! Yeah.. I'm easily amused like that.

And there is another chapter done. Kudos to those who guessed my Hydra, I couldn't resist. Next up, Pyro has a cunning plan. Do review. Until next time...