Skulltulla Haus

by E1pnvn

Link forgot to kill all of the Skulltullas! Now it's up to an arachnophobic ranch girl to squish the rest.

3. Cuccos and Rivers

E1pnvn's Note: Once again, thanks to my reviewers and there are specific thank-yous at the bottom (although, they might be shorter because there are more of you this time). Sadly, I have no bizarre blessings for you though, haha. But, here's chapter three anyway! This chapter is dedicated to the evil cucco at Zora's River that always walks into the water and drowns himself right when I'm about to pick him up. I think he's possessed.

DISCLAIMER - I don't own Zelda, but when I become the ruthless ruler of the universe I will have Nintendo make Zelda games for me daily. Mwahahahaha.

SKULLTULLA HAUS

By E1pnvn

Chapter three - Cuccos and Rivers

I had a pretty good dream that night. I dreamt that I was back at home, milking cows and talking to Talon and doing other ranch things as if it was just a normalday. Of course, the cows were purple and there were other little tidbits of my dream world that were much different than the real world, but I thought it seemed real enough while I was dreaming it. In fact, I was almost saddened when I woke up and found that Talon and the purple cows were nowhere to be seen. Instead, I was greeted by the gray, empty room I had fallen asleep in.

I sat up and stretched with a yawn. The spiders' old bed had been perfectly fine. I'd slept peacefully all night without a single bug in my sheets or lump in my matress. Actually, now that I thought about it, I had probably slept better in the spiders' bed than I ever had in my own bed at the ranch. I made a mental note to thank to spiders for their hospitality...

But, before I could think anything else about Jonas and his friends, my stomach growled loudly and I rubbed it. I realized that I hadn't eaten anything since the cake I'd had with Mr. Brown the previous afternoon. And my tummy didn't like that one bit. It scolded me with another growl and I slid out of bed.

I remembered what Jonas had told me last night about calling for him when I needed him. So, I stuck my head out of the room and did just that:

"Jonas?"

At first there was no answer. I was about to try again, but then I heard a distant and familiar scratching sound. It grew louder and louder until Jonas appeared on the ceiling above me.

"You're awake!" he said, cheerfully. "Did you sleep well, m'lady?"

"Very well, thanks," I said. It seemed rather odd, but I was actually kind of getting used to talking to the giant spider. "Um... Do you guys have anything to eat?"

Jonas chewed on this for a moment.

"Er... Nothing that would please your tastes, I'm afraid," he said. "Unless you like drinking the blood from beetle carcasses..."

I shivered. "That's ok," I said, quickly. "I guess I'll just get something to eat in town..."

Jonas nodded... Or rather, he sort of bobbed his body up and down. I assumed it was a nod.

"But before you do that..." he said. "If you don't mind, the others and I still have a few more things to tell you."

"Ok," I said. "Take me to them."

Jonas did his bobbing thing again and started scampering along the ceiling. I followed him and eventually we were back in the circular room where we'd had our first little meeting. Gustave, Anne and Leonard were already there.

"Good morning," said Anne and Gustave.

"It's about time you got up," said Leonard.

"Morning," I said, ignoring the last spider's comment.

Jonas scurried over to the others and the four of them looked at me.

"So, back to buisness then," said Gustave. "It's time to go get those Skulltullas!"

"Like we said, we already know where they are," said Jonas. "And the first one is in Zora's Domain."

I smiled at this, despite myself. I'd always wanted to go to Zora's Domain, but my work at the ranch had prevented me from ever doing so. Maybe Skulltulla-killing wouldn't be as bad as I'd thought.

"You should be able to squish the Skulltulla easily," Jonas continued. "You can use a sword or a knife..."

"Or you can just stomp on it," said Leonard. "That works too."

"Ew, Leo!" Anne said. "Don't talk about stomping on spiders! WE'RE spiders!

"Exactly," Leonard said. "And I don't want to be one anymore!"

Jonas cleared his throat to silence them.

"Anyway," he said. "That's where you need to go: Zora's Domain. Any questions?"

"Not right now..." I said. "But what if I need help later on?"

Jonas considered this. Then, he seemed to get an idea. He started moving his legs around in a strange way and I wondered what he was doing, until I realized that he was spinning a web. He made a small ball of web, about the size of my fist, and gave it to me. I stared at it. It felt strangely solid in my hands and there was a weird blueish tint to the threads. There was also a single loop of thread that came out from it so that, if I wanted to, I could wear it around my neck as a sort of gaudy necklace.

I looked back up at Jonas. "Um... what's this for?" I asked.

"The Sheikah spell that turned us into spiders also left behind a little magic in us," Jonas explained. "That magic is expressed in our webs. Have you noticed how solid and unbreakable our threads are? Also, we've found that we can communicate through our webs."

"Communicate?" I asked.

"Yeah," said Gustave. "For example, if Anne spun a web, you could talk to the web and Anne would be able to hear you."

"We aren't sure how it works," said Leonard. "It just does. It's like our webs are connected to us somehow."

"The point is," said Anne, "that wherever you are, if you talk into that ball of web, Jonas will be able to hear you and talk back to you."

"Ok..." I said. This whole spider thing just kept getting weirder and weirder...

"So, if you need help, just ask my web," said Jonas.

I nodded and hesitated before putting the necklace on. Since Jonas and the others didn't have a name for it, I decided to call it my "web-thing". It actually felt kind of comfortable around my neck. Although, saying that the web-thing lookeda littlestrange was as big an understatement as saying that the universe was a bit roomy.

I looked once again to the spiders, waiting for them to tell me anything else. But it seemed that they were done explaining everything.

"I guess... I'll go now," I said, figeting a little. Then, remembering my mental note, I added: "Thanks for the bed."

The four of them nodded, or bobbed, or whatever to acknowledge my thanks.

I smiled and, not knowing what else to do, turned around and left. When I was about halfway down the portrait hall, the spiders all shouted to me in unison: "THANK YOU FOR HELPING US!"

I couldn't help but laugh at that as I continued down the hall and eventually exited the house.

Kakariko's graveyard wasn't nearly as dreary during the daytime. The sunlight seemed to wash away all of the spookiness and, although gloom still hung in the air, it wasn't as thick as before. I made my way through the graveyard and back to the village. By then, I was definitely hungry and it didn't take me long to hunt down a restaraunt to have breakfast in.

It was right near Kakariko's front gate and seemed like a nice little place. I ordered pancakes, something different than the bacon and eggs I usually cooked for Talon, and paid for it with some of the money Mr. Brown had given me for his milk. When my tummy was finally satisfied, I tipped my waitress and left to start my Skulltulla-finding quest.

I was about to leave town, but then I remembered something and stopped in my tracks. For some reason, last night's dream came to my mind and it reminded me of grandpa and the ranch. Why hadn't I thought of that before? Grandpa was probably worried sick about me because I hadn't come home. And how would he run the ranch without me? I couldn't leave him. But I couldn't leave Jonas and the others either, not when I'd promised to help them.

And, as an afterthought, I also couldn't leave Midnight in Kakariko's stable forever.

I decided to fix the horse problem first, seeing as it was the easiest to remedy. I went to the stable and, sure enough, there was Midnight, looking happy to see me. But she wasn't the only one there. The hostler I'd talked to before was also present, looking as bored as ever. The boredom was quickly wiped from his face, however, when he saw me. He hurried over to me, looking excited.

"Did you go to the house?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yep," I said, proudly.

"So? How was it?" he urged. "Who lives there? Did they give you any money?"

I opened my mouth to tell him all about the spiders, but then I stopped. Jonas had said that I couldn't tell anyone about them. So, I made up a good lie.

"The house was empty," I said. "You should stop listening to rumors."

The hostler gawked at me. I walked past him and took Midnight by the reins, starting to lead her out of the stable.

"Well, darn it!" the hostler said suddenly, and I turned to look at him. "I'd thought there was actually something interesting going on around here!"

I raised an eyebrow at him in question.

"This town is so BORING," he explained. "The only excitement around here is when someone brings a horse in."

I considered this. Then, a brilliant idea came to me. It just popped into my head, like most great ideas do, and I grinned triumphantly.

"Do you like horses?" I asked.

The hostler looked at me like I had an Octorok sticking out of my ear. "Why would I be working in a stable if I didn't like horses?" he said.

I ignored his comment and continued: "I know a really good job for you and it'll pay well!"

"Ok," said the hostler. "What is it?"

"How would you like to take my place at Lon Lon Ranch for awhile?" I said. "All you have to do is a bit of ranch work and keep an eye on my grandpa for me."

The hostler shrugged. "Sounds easy enough," he said. "What's the pay?"

"Umm... 200 rupees," I said. I figured that I would be able to afford that once the spiders paid me for helping them.

The hostler laughed. "You call that a lot?" he said.

"Well, how much do you get for your job here?" I asked.

There was a long silence.

"When can I start?" he asked.

"Right now," I said, giving him Midnight's reins. "Take this horse back to the ranch and explain to my grandpa (he should be asleep in the ranch house) all about our deal here. Also, tell him that I'm going to be away for awhile and that he shouldn't worry about me."

"What should I say if he wants to know where you are?" the hostler asked.

"Tell him I'm... er... visiting some friends," I said.

The hostler shrugged and soon he left with Midnight trailing behind him. I grinned at my brilliant scheme. Now that that was taken care of, all I had to worry about were Skulltullas.

I went to Zora's River to start my little quest. I didn't know where Zora's Domain was exactly, but the river had the word "Zora" in it, so I decided it must be close by. I walked alongside the water for awhile, listening to it trickle and bubble, and kept an eye out for any signs of a "domain". But my plan to just follow the river was quickly dashed. After only a few minutes of walking, I came to a dead end. The path along the river just suddenly ended and a huge wall of rock loomed in front of me, blocking my way.

I sighed. Now what? I looked around and saw that, on the other side of the river, there was a thin strip of land that I could walk on to continue on my way. But how could I get to it? The river was too wide to jump over and the current was too fast for me to swim across. I thought about it for awhile, but couldn't find a solution. I decided that this was the perfect time to test my web-thing out.

I examined the web-thing, wondering how I was supposed to talk to it. Finally, I just held it to my mouth and said:

"Jonas?"

As soon as I'd spoken, the web-thing suddenly glowed blue and I held it away from me in surprise.

"Yes, m'lady?" came Jonas' voice.

His voice was coming from the glowing web-thing, but it sounded like he was right there in front of me. I took a moment to admire how cool that was, then spoke again:

"Uh... hi," I said. "I'm at Zora's River."

"Oh, good," said Jonas' voice. "Zora's Domain is right at the end of the river. There's a big waterfall... You can't miss it."

"Ok, thanks," I said. "Um... I need help with something else, though."

"What is it?" Jonas asked. His voice sounded slightly curious.

"I have to cross the river," I said. "But I... don't know how."

"Oh..." said Jonas.

There was a pause and I assumed that he was thinking.

"Are there any fallen logs or something nearby that you could use as a bridge?" Jonas said at last.

I looked around. "Nope."

"Darn..." said Jonas. "Um... I don't suppose you have a hookshot do you?"

"A hook-what?"

"Right, never mind," said Jonas.

He stopped to think again and I waited, growing a little impatient. He didn't talk again for a long time and, deciding that he wouldn't be coming up with a solution anytime soon, I sat down on a nearby rock to wait. A cool breeze snaked by, playing with my bangs and the grass under my feet. I closed my eyes to relax for a little while... but my resting was instantly interrupted by a weird noise coming from nearby.

"Bok bok... BWAAK bok bok..."

I opened one eye to see what it was and, to my surprise, there was a very lost-looking cucco walking around right next to me. I stared at it. What was a cucco doing by the river? I wondered vaguely whether it had escaped from the ranch or from the Kakariko cucco lady as it wandered over to the riverbank and started scratching around. I noticed that it was getting a little too close to the water for comfort and, having grown up with cuccos and grown a little fond of them in the process, I saw it as my duty to make sure the little guy didn't drown. I got up and grabbed the cucco before it went into the water.

But apparently the cucco didn't like being rescued.

It started flapping its wings wildly and squawking like there was no tomorrow. I fought to hold on to it and held it over my head so that it wouldn't scratch my face.

"Ow! Stop it!" I hissed. "Stop it you crazy little beast!"

"Excuse me?" came Jonas' voice from the web-thing, which was now hanging around my neck.

But I was too preoccupied to answer him. I fought with the insane cucco for a few more minutes before it let out an extra-loud "BWAAAAK" and flapped its wings harder than ever. The whole thing completely overwhelmed me and I lost my balance and fell into the river. Or rather, I SHOULD have fallen into the river. But, by some strange bit of luck, the cucco was flapping its wings hard enough to lift us both up a little so that neither of us touched the water. Instead, we sort of glided across the river and ended up on the sliver of land that I had been trying to get to before.

When my feet were on solid ground again, I finally let go of the cucco and it bounced away, clucking angrily. I was still trying to figure out what the heck had just happened, when Jonas spoke through the web-thing again:

"What was that all about?" he asked. "I heard a bunch of yelling and clucking..."

"Uh... I just flew across the river on a cucco," I said.

There was an astonished silence. Then Jonas said: "Well... That's interesting..."

"Definitely..." I said. "So, I guess I'm across the river now. Thanks for the help."

A laugh came from the web-thing. "I didn't help," said Jonas. "It's the cucco you should be thanking!"

Then, the web-thing stopped glowing. I guessed that meant that Jonas was done talking.

I chuckled at his cucco remark and went to find the critter that had "helped" me.The cucco was wandering around by the river again, looking as lost as ever.

"Well, thanks little guy," I said to it. "You saved me a lot of trouble... and caused some too. It was nice meeting you."

And with that, I continued to follow the river in search of Zora's Domain. But the sound of quiet clucking behind me told me that I wasn't alone. I turned around and saw that the cucco was following me.

"Oh, so you like me now, huh?" I said, teasingly.

"Bok bok bok," said the cucco.

"Alright," I said. "You can follow me if you want. Who knows, I might even need your help again."

The cucco seemed to agree and stayed at my heels as I continued up the river. Eventually, the river started to break into small waterfalls and rapids and I found myself climbing up steep slopes to keep following it. Around then was when my cucco companion started to get on my nerves. Every time I climbed up a rock or a slope, it jumped onto my back and rodeon me until I reached the top. And sometimes it even pecked me in the head while it was up there, which really, really hurt! After almost an hour of this abuse, I came to one conclusion: this cucco was evil.

"Leave me alone!" I cried, after a specifically painful head-pecking.

"Bok BWAAAK," said the cucco.

"Don't talk back to me!" I snapped. Then I stopped. Why was I having this kind of a conversation with a CUCCO? Maybe I'd been pecked in the head harder than I'd thought...

"Look," I said, feeling insane. "Just stop following me, ok little guy? It was fun while it lasted... well, not really, but you get my point. Run along now..."

I reached down to gently push the cucco away from me, but it pecked my hand.

"OW!" I yelped. I examined my poor hand and saw a drop of blood welling out from one of my fingertips. I put the injured digit in my mouth to suck on it.

"Bad cucco!" I said around my finger. "Very bad cucco!"

"BWAAAAK!" said the cucco.

I'm not sure why that made me angry, but I was about to give the cucco a good kick when something suddenly caught my eye. Forgetting about the evil little bird for a moment, I looked to the river and saw something that made my blood run cold. There, standing on the water, was a giant, blue spider. It had just one blood-red eye and it was staring at me. I let out a strangled squeak. I doubted that this spider would be as friendly as Jonas...

And, to my horror, itwas startingtowards me.

It hopped instead of crawled across the water and soon it was so close to me that I could see the hairs on its spindly legs. At first, I was frozen in terror. Then, I panicked. I needed help and I needed it FAST. Jonas was the first thing to come to mind. I fumbled with the web-thing until I was holding it to my mouth.

"JONAS!" I shrieked. "Jonas, there's a huge blue spider! Whaddo I do!"

"Huh, what?" said Jonas, his voice making the web-thing glow again. "M'lady, what are you talking about?"

"There's a giant spider in the water and it's coming right at me!" I practically screamed into the web-thing.

"Oh dear..." said Jonas. "That's... not good..."

"OF COURSE IT'S NOT GOOD!" I yelled. "NOW HELP ME!"

"Uh, yes, yes..." said Jonas, nervously. "Sorry. Um... Throw something at it."

I looked around wildly, trying to find something to throw. The first thing I saw was the cucco and, without thinking, I picked it up and chucked it at the spider. The cucco landed on the spider with a startled "BWWWAAAAAKKK" and the spider exploded, its remains bursting into blue flames. The cucco ended up in the water and was, luckily for it, swept back to shore.

I blinked.

"Are you alright, m'lady?" came Jonas' voice.

"Yeah..." I said shakily. "I'm ok... Thanks."

"No problem," said Jonas. "Be careful of those monsters..."

And without another word, the web-thing stopped glowing.

I just stood there for awhile, still not quite believing that I'd just caused a giant water spider to blow up. Or I guess my little cucco friend had. I went over to where the wet and still-shocked cucco was standing by the water.

"I guess you saved me again," I said to the cucco. "Sorry about throwing you..."

But I never got to say anything else. Before I knew it, the cucco was on top of me and pecking the living daylights out of my head. I screamed and threw my arms over my face to protect it.

So far, this was definitely a strange adventure.

E1pnvn's Other Note: Uh... Sorry if that chapter was a little out there. I wrote most of it at about 3am one night (or morning, I guess) when I was hyper on the sugar from one too many ice-cream sundaes and couldn't fall asleep. So that would explain the weirdness. Well, anyway, time to thank the reviewers:

Atchika - Thanks! By the way, I like that drawing on your profile. I draw a lot but not nearly as good as that, that's for sure!

neogirl7900 - I'm glad you weren't confused (phew). But why are you embarassed by your story? It's very good!

Black Triforce - Yay, I was hoping that the spiders would seem human! I'm glad you think they do.

Vladimir the Hamster - It would seem that we are bound together by both our age and the inability to spell the names of chicken-like creatures...

Greki - I agree. It was interesting hearing the story behind your reviewing kindness!

Dark Elven Warrior - Yay, a fellow spider-fearer! I read your profile by the way. It seems like Null needs a hug, haha!

treecko/Sailor Star Saturn - Um... Why "sweatdrop"? If there's something you don't like, please tell me...

Haunir - Yay! I feel special again, thank you!

Once again, thanks to all who reviewed and those who haven't should comment too! But wait, I have something else to say too:

E1PNVN'S THIRD AND VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: Sorry, but I probably won't be able to update again for awhile. My family and I are going to the Galapagos! (Wahoo!) So, I won't be updating for about two weeks. I might be able to squeeze in another chapter before we leave, but it's kind of unlikely so don't count on it. I promise that I'll try to update as soon as I get back though!