Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, but I do own the story. If it resembles anyone else's in any way it is unintentional.
Author's Note: Well, this is my first Foster's fic :) I've had this particular story idea in my head for a while, and only recently was able to get some of it written down. So anyway, let me know what you think! :D
Looking For the SmileChapter 1: A Single Thing
Do you know how much it hurts to hear hatred in someone's beautiful voice?
So much it practically causes me physical pain to hear it.
I've never really enjoyed it when people shout. But lately I've come to absolutely dread it. I have heard the worst kind of shouting...the kind full of hate. The kind filled with disdain and fury. The kind that never leaves you, no matter how much you want to get away. It permeates the walls, the ceilings, and the floors, no matter where you go, you can't get the sound out of your head. There's no place it won't follow you; it never leaves you. Once you hear this sound, it implants itself deep within you, and refuses to be forgotten.
I heard that sound again today. ...I felt as if I could die as I listened.
I was just going downstairs to get something to snack on. I'd promised to get something for Bloo, Coco, and Eduardo as well. They were all in our room at that particular moment, Bloo in the midst of explaining his and Mac's latest, greatest exploit. I never suspected anything would be different today. I never expected anything less than what had passed every other day of my life.
I'd told Bloo and the others I'd be back in just a minute.
...But sometimes, just one minute can change everything. One sentence, one action, one word....
...And as I arrived at the top of the stairs, the horrid sound came rushing into me.
"How dare you say that to me!!" came a shouting voice from a downstairs room. I froze on the top step, my heart momentarily leaping into my throat. Were they at it again?
"Don't shout in my face, Miss Francis, it's quite rude."
"I'll shout all I want! I don't appreciate you saying I've been doing shoddy work!! I've barely had time to sleep in the past few days!!"
I wanted to move. I wanted to turn around and go back to my room. But I was rooted to the spot. I was fated to stand there and bear witness to these sounds I no longer wanted to hear.
"Really? It hasn't been showing."
My heart sank further. How could Mr. Herriman say something like that to her? Frankie had been more stressed in the past couple weeks than I'd ever known her to be. She'd seemed so angry all the time lately...and I'd hardly been able to bear one minute of it. ...Nor could I do anything to make her feel better. Goodness knows I'd been trying. But nothing ever worked.
I didn't want to listen to this. I'd heard so many of their fights already. I didn't want to hear them anymore. ...So why couldn't I leave? Why was I fated to stand there, motionless, speechless, powerless to do anything?
...Then I actually heard her start cursing. My heart practically stopped.
"Oh, what the hell would you know about that?! I don't see you doing any of the work around this stupid house!!"
I knew the curse was a relatively minor one, but it hurt to hear it nonetheless. ...Never had I heard Frankie this way.
"I do far more work than you do, Miss Francis, I can assure you that," Mr. Herriman replied. I found myself wishing he wasn't so calm. It was probably the fact he was not shouting back that was heightening Frankie's anger.
"Oh my God, don't even say that to me, Mr. Herriman. I am not in the mood to hear it."
"Watch the tone you're taking with me, Miss Francis."
"I'll take whatever tone I damn well please!!" Frankie suddenly screamed, sounding like her anger had grown tenfold.
I tried putting the image of Frankie into my head and imagined those words coming from her mouth.... It didn't fit. It didn't feel right. ...This entire thing wasn't right. This wasn't her. What had made her into such a person who would act this way?
"I suggest you watch your attitude, Miss Francis." Now Mr. Herriman was starting to sound agitated. I never wanted to run away more than I did now...I didn't like where things were going. This seemed dangerous...too dangerous. Why couldn't I just go in there? ...Maybe I could stop it, maybe I could have said something...but would it have done any good at this point?
So still I stayed there...so still I listened.
"Is anything I ever do good enough for you?!" Frankie shouted, sounding like she'd almost reached the peak of her frustration.
"Miss Francis, I'm afraid I don't have all day to sit here and discuss this with you." I heard the sound of Mr. Herriman hopping away. For a moment I panicked, thinking I should hide. I didn't want him to see that I'd been eavesdropping, however unwillingly.
"Do not walk away from me! I am talking to you, dammit!!" I heard Mr. Herriman stop.
"Out of my way, if you please." I could tell he was fighting to keep from shouting back at her.
"Not until I'm finished speaking with you!" I hadn't realized before now that I was gripping the railing so tight.
"Then please make your point so I may be on my way." I was praying as hard as I knew how that this would not get any worse.
"My point, Mr. Herriman--" I didn't like this. I didn't like this at all. Frankie's voice was getting louder and louder and she sounded as if she could tear Mr. Herriman's head off right then and there... "--is that you are by far the biggest jackass in this whole damn house!!"
I shut my eyes tight, wishing I had done the same with my ears earlier. Frankie's tone was just scary now. How could she say those things? What had happened to her? Would she ever say those things to anyone else...or to me? I shuddered thinking of what I would have to do to get her to say them to me.
"Francis Foster!!" Mr. Herriman exclaimed, completely taken aback and shocked beyond description. "Such language and disrespect is unacceptable!! You may as well consider yourself fired!!"
No!! my mind screamed. I nearly shouted the words out loud, but just barely stopped myself. It would only make things worse now if they knew I'd heard the whole thing. Mr. Herriman couldn't fire Frankie! Madame Foster would never allow it! Frankie wasn't leaving...she would never do that and she couldn't. Mr. Herriman ought to know more than any of us how much the house needed her. The place would fall apart if she left. What would we do without her? What would I do without her?
I calmed myself with the knowledge that the threat was idle. I only prayed now it wouldn't get any worse.
"You know what?" came Frankie's voice from downstairs. "You can bite me because I QUIT!!"
......Silence filled the foyer. I heard no response from Mr. Herriman, no more shouting from Frankie. My shocked breathing and my racing heart were all the sounds I could hear...and I prayed they couldn't hear them too.
It felt like I stood there the longest time. Mr. Herriman threatening to fire her was one thing, but Frankie actually saying she quit...was different somehow. She actually wanted to leave the house? She wanted to leave all of us? ...Leave me? Why would she just leave us all to unravel like that? I thought she loved the house, loved all of us...did she not care about us anymore? ...Did she not care about me anymore?
I heard angry footsteps approaching the steps. I realized it was too late to run and Frankie would see me there. Would she yell at me too? I didn't know what to expect from her anymore...she wasn't the Frankie I knew.
She began to head up the stairs. I don't really think she saw me at first. Her face...it frightened me. She looked so angry, so infuriated...I almost believed she would even hit me if she were mad enough. My grip on the railing tightened at the thought of her doing that. At this point all I wanted to do was make her feel better. ...All I wanted was for her to stay.
She reached the top step. She obviously hadn't noticed me by now. But I couldn't just let her walk by...it could be the last time I see her.
No...I tried to put the thought out of my mind. Frankie wouldn't leave. ...She couldn't. But I had to say something....
So I said the first thing on my mind. The first thing, the only thing, I thought of: "Uhm...Frankie?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. "Are you okay?"
"I am NOT in the mood, Wilt!! Don't even talk to me!!" she shouted back. She responded so abruptly and so fiercely I visibly jumped and recoiled. Without so much as a backwards glance at me, Frankie stormed off down the hall. As desperately as I wished to follow her, I knew it would be pointless. It would only make things worse.
...Maybe I'd already made things worse. Maybe I'd just made her angrier. I wanted to tell her I was sorry...say I didn't mean it...that I hadn't meant to upset her, I'd only wanted her to feel better.... But she was gone down the hall now.
I prayed that the next time I saw her it would be with a smile on her face....
...If I ever saw her again at all.
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