Disclaimer: Guess what's mine here? The plot. Guess what isn't mine? The characters. The setting. The rights to this stuff.

Deep Inside

Chapter Seven

Fourteen Years Old: Hating, Learning, and Proving

Ginny woke up to a soft caress on her cheek. With her eyes closed, she mumbled "Good morning, Harry. Where's Madam Pomfrey?"

Harry chuckled soflty. "Morning, Gin. She hasn't shown her face here yet. Too early, I guess."

"And what time would it be that it's too early for her?" asked Ginny, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Harry showed her his watch. In the dim light of the Hospital Wing, shesaw that the slightly illuminated face read 4:30. "Is that right? Harry, why are you up so early?"

He looked away from her. "Yeah, its right. Couldn't sleep."

"Tom again?"

"No, it wasn't Voldemort. I was just thinking about your poem, how you can go back to every year and remember what was the most important thing to you. I was thinking about what mine would be about for each year. And..." pause "Yeah. That's all."

"You still feel guilty, don't you." It wasn't a question. It was obvious he felt guilty. "Well, so do I. I'm still guilty from my first year. I messed up, Harry. But I learned from my mistakes. I'm still guilty from last year too, though. Not the same way you feel, but still guilty. As I sat there with my broken ankle, unable to do anything for you, I felt guilty. Guiltier than before, because this time I had forced you into taking me along. But now I was just something else you had to take care of. What if Tom had come by? Would I have been able to take care of myself, or would I be another reason for you to be alone and feel guilty? And I still wonder if he would have recognized me. Does he have the memories of the Chamber of Secrets? If so, he could just hurt our side worse. I knew more than I should have at that age, and I wonder if he knows any of it."

Harry stopped her. "I don't know. But it doesn't matter. Not anymore. What's done is done. You can't do anything about it now. No use saying "what if" all the time. I've finally decided I've had enough of it myself. But just remember you can't change the past."

"Yeah...I had thought I was so ready. I had the desire to fight, to beat those scumbags. All my memoriesof the Tom from the diary had made me see how evil he really is. I had to do my part to get rid of that.

"Harry, I don't know what you know of him, his soul or whatever, but I think I know him better than anyone else, except maybe Dumbledore. Harry, there's no hope for him at all. He's evil to the bone. When he underwent his transformations, he did Dark magic to be sure he could never let anything as small as compassion get in the way of his takeover. It was irreversible, Harry. He can't love or trust anything, not even his followers or himself. When it comes down to it, when his Death Eaters see that the end is coming, and they can gain nothing staying with him, they'll all either surrender, kill themselves, or turn to the Order for safety. With the possible exception of those who are truly insane, of course. But there's no love or trust in those ranks. Nobody to watch his back, nobody to take a curse for him so he can keep fighting. Nobody to help him defend himself.

"But on our side, we have love and trust. We all have someone to watch our backs, someone who will take the curse for us so the people who are the most needed, the best, can keep fighting, can win the battle. Someone to help us when we're desperate. Someone to save our lives.

"That will be Tom's undoing. That's how we'll win. He'll aim a curse at you or Dumbledore, but someone else, someone small and insignificant in his eyes, will jump out and take it so the two of you can finish the job. He has no idea about the concept of compassion, of such love that we would die to save someone. That is how we will beat Tom."

There was a moment of silence as Ginny let this sink in before she continued.

"I was ready to fight, Harry. I wanted to, and I was ready. I knew a lot of curses. None of them would kill, but most would at least distract a Death Eater, some hurting them. I know now that we'll never really be ready, but we were pretty good. I was so much more ready then than I was a year before. I felt like I had somethng to prove, too. I wasn't eleven anymore, and I had to show them that I had learned from my mistakes. I had to prove I was worthy of what I wanted, of what I needed to do. And I was finally ready to prove it.

"So that's why I wrote what I did last year, as well as the best motivational spech I could think of for you." Ginny grabbed the Publishing Book and read out loud.

"Have you ever hated Tom like I do?

"Have you ever felt so ready to fight him?

"Have you ever had to prove yoursefl at 15?

"This is how I feel."

Harry nodded. "That...You have a way with words, Ms. Weasley."

"And you have a way with curses, Mr. Potter. Please take that as a compliment."

He laughed at the last sentence before moving on to the next chapter of his life.

A/N: What a cliffie! But you can take it. The next chapter is here too! All the way to the end, all at once. Sorry, I don't like doing that, but I want it out before HBP, and before I go out of town. So R&R, I'll answer them all.