"What the hell was that?" Joey asked, once Rowenna had shoved them all into the house and slammed the door tight. He turned around to face her, his face red with anger.

"Well, see, we never told you about Creepy Uncle Ed…"

"He's got this habit of…"

"Well, he likes younger…"

"Much younger…"

"Females…"

"And he likes…"

"Well, harassing us…"

"Because we're not related…"

"JOEY!"

The group turned around, looking at a very, very slutty, girl standing in the doorway. Joey cocked his head. "Do I know you?" He asked confusedly.

"It's me! Mairi!" She exclaimed, smiling.

"Mairi?" Rowenna asked, her jaw dropping. The last time she'd seen the now sixteen year old, she'd been a tom-boy prude. Now, she was wearing a very revealing, low cut tube-top, an extremely short mini-skirt that gave anyone a lovely view of her thong, and enormous high-heeled sandals. "You um…grew up."

"Mairi?" Joey reiterated. "Wow. Just…wow."

"You like the new look?" She asked, twirling a piece of her bleach blonde hair around her finger and walking seductively to stand next to her older cousin. "I was hoping you would." She leaned against him and Joey sweat dropped.

"I'm sure he likes your new look, Mair. The slut thing really gets him. This incest, too." The group wheeled around and faced another sixteen year old.

"Kailey?" Rowenna asked, cocking her head.

"Yeah. Hi." Kailey nodded in their direction, looking immensely irritated at her twin sister's actions.

"Kail?" Harpie choked on her own saliva, staring at her. Mairi wasn't the only one who changed. Kailey's red hair was dyed black, and was pulled back into two braided pig-tails, which had lime green ribbons threaded through it. She was wearing a lime green fishnet shirt with a black tank top over it, a black parachute skirt, and knee boots, and was leaning against a brick wall glaring at her sister.

"Hey Harp. How ya been?" She asked, walking away from the wall and heading over to them. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"I know!" Mairi said cheerfully, twirling a piece of Joey's hair around her finger. "We really need to catch up." She winked at him and he nervously cleared his throat.

"Uh…sorry Mairi, I'd love to catch up…but we were just uh…leavin'…going to the store, right Ro."

"Yeah, we were going to the store." She said, clearing her throat. Serenity and Harpie nodded vigorously.

"Oh! Can I come!" Mairi asked. "I can sit next to you, Joey." She said, slowly moving her hand up and down his shoulder. He gulped.

"There's not enough room in my car." Rowenna said, sighing. "Sorry Mair."

"But you've got a v-" Serenity chirped before Harpie covered her mouth.

"I don't have the van today, Serenity. I've got Mom's car." Rowenna said, clearing her throat once more. Serenity suddenly understood what they were doing, and nodded.

"Sorry, I forgot…"

"Okay." Dramatic sigh. "I guess I'll have to see you when you get back from the store."

"Yeah, such a pity." Harpie muttered, grabbing Joey's arm and pulling him towards the front door.

They all waved goodbye to Kailey, nodded at Mairi, and ran to the van, hoping Mairi wouldn't catch on that the giant 60's van could fit all of the children at the reunion in it.

(In the car)

"Man! Mairi is wicked creepy now!" Rowenna said with her hands clenched on the steering wheel and shuddering.

"She needs to learn to control herself and her incestuous ways…"
Serenity said looking over at Joey who was looking at an add for some near by store.

"Is it illegal to use mace on a cousin who wants nothin' of you but to get in your pants?" Joey asked.

"Yea…I think so…" Harpie said. " Sorry Joefess." She said giving him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

"So then I think you should stay as far away from her as possible…" Serenity said.

"Thank you Captain Obvious!" The other three said in unison, Rowenna slapping her hand to her forehead.

"Your welcome…" She replied, not picking up on their sarcasm.

"Well let's go to the store and get some food we know is safe to eat food we know Uncle Ed hasn't had a chance to get into." Rowenna said turning the corner to go to the closest convenience store.

(after the excursion)

Harpie sneaked in through the front door while the others hid outside. She hid behind a pile of chairs, and scouted around for Uncle Ed or Mairi. When she saw no sign of either of them, she turned to go back outside.

"Hannah!" Someone called from across the room. Harpie looked over her shoulder too see their Aunt Rebekkah.

"Aunt Rebekkah.." She said with mock surprise as her aunt on the O'Hara side wrapped her arms around Harpie and squeezed her tight.

Meanwhile, outside, Rowenna was peeking through the glass doors of the reunion hall. "Oh no…" Rowenna's jaw dropped.

"What is it Ro'?" Joey asked, not daring to look inside.

"It's Aunt Rebekkah." She said flatly, "and where there is Aunt Rebekkah then there's the…" She didn't finish before the roar of "Hannah!" could be heard from inside. "The quints…" She said looking down at the ground.

Back inside Harpie was pinned to the ground by her Aunt's five four-year-olds. "Thanks Hannah…you're very helpful…I'll see you at the end of the reunion!" Rebekkah said waving goodbye to Harpie and her kids.

"Your….welcome?" She said, wondering confusedly how she'd agreed to babysitting when she'd never actually said 'yes'. Rowenna, Joey, and Serenity went inside and all stood over Harpie who still had the quints clinging to her like vices.

"Want some help?" Rowenna asked trying to suppress her laughter.

"That…would be great.." She said as Joey and Serenity began to peel the munchkins from her torso. When the deed was done, Harpie stood up and brushed herself off. Suddenly, Joey yelped in pain and began to hop around holding his shin. They looked down in front of him to see their five-year-old cousin Rylie.

"Rylie…what was that for?" Serenity asked.

"To get stupid's attention." He said motioning to Joey. "My mom told me to come over here with you guys so you losers could watch me…just because Aunt Rebekkah suggested." He said crossing his arms and looking down to the ground with a disgruntled look on his face.

"That's not nice to say about Joey, Rylie…" Harpie said even though she knew it was true. Her comment was replied with nothing but a dirty scowl from Rylie.

"Oh great!" Rowenna hissed, suddenly noting the last part of Rylie's statement.

"What is it? Which munchkin are we landed with now?" Harpie asked, which resulted in a shudder from Joey.

"Rylie!" Aunt Annabelle called from across the hall as she walked over with their three-year-old cousin Bade. "

"Mommy!" Rylie said with a sweet sounding voice, running over and hugging her leg with a practiced smile on his face.

She kneeled down, resting Bade on her knee and hugging him. She looked up at Harpie and Joey. "Thanks for watching them." She said, handing Bade to Serenity and looking back to Rylie. "Now be good and have fun."

"I will Mommy.." He said hugging her again and walking over to Joey and hugging his leg. "We'll have the best time."

"Alright then. See you after the reunion!" She said waving goodbye, walking back to the groups of drinking adults.

"That two-faced brat!" They all said in unison looking down to Rylie who was now brushing himself off.

"I can't believe I touched that!" He said walking over to the quints who were playing a rousing game of Duck Duck Goose.

"We're officially stuck in hell…" Harpie said.
"Yup…" Rowenna said.

"Well you are the ones who agreed to is…see ya later!" Joey said trying to escape. Rowenna and Harpie grabbed him by the collar.

"Where do you think your going!" Serenity, Harpie and Rowenna asked in a menacing tone.

"Uh…no where…" He said looking defeated.

"Well then…" Rowenna said mentally preparing herself. "Let's go…" She said heading for the group, flanked by Harpie, Joey, and Serenity.

)(Well, there you have it. Another Chappie to Enigma! Yeah, we're dorks. If you think this is actually going somewhere, review!

Signed

Your faithful fanfiction slave monkeys Pengwinn and HikariKon XD)(