AN: I don't have a beta but I have proof read it, so I hope that its OK grammatically. As someone who gets a bit annoyed when a lot of mistakes happen on a story, I sincerely apologize for any mistakes you may find. This is not an excuse but English is my second language and as fluent as I am in it, sometimes little things get by me that Idon't recognize as mistake, so if anyone wants to point them out I'll be very grateful. Also, and I just realized this as I was re-reading this chapter, there are some similarities or at least echoes of magicmyth's Guardians series. I guess that only makes sense becuase I absolutely love them; they are my favorite Cole and Phoebe stories. I specially like that all three sisters have an increasing role as the series goes on. If you haven't read them, I suggest you do so. And I sincerely hope magicmyth will continue with it and that she (I'm assuming here, and I hope I'm right) doesn't mind if some bit of her stories find her way into mine - though that would probably only be in regards to Phoebe's or some other characters emotions. Anyway, back to the story
Chapter 2
Phoebe debated with herself for a minute about where and how she wanted to begin. There were so many things to say, so many moments that marked the beginning of something or other. But after a while she decided to simply start with how she felt at seeing her oldest living sister dying, again, and go on from there. "When we came down the stairs and I saw you lying there, dying. All I could think was no, not again. I won't lose another sister. You know I love Paige and losing her would be a tremendous blow, but you are my older sister. And I don't know if I could cope if I lost you. I know we've had close calls before so for a few moments there all I could think was "what if this time is for real and we can't save her" and then I just decided that I would not lose you. And that was what was going through my mind as we decided what we should do and how we could help." After saying this, Phoebe stopped for a minute as if to collect her thoughts, but her eyeswent to the window again and for some minutes she got lost inside her head again.
After waiting for a while, Piper decided her sister was taking too long and prompted her to start talking again, "Yes, and I thank you very much for all you and Paige did to save me and bring Leo back to me. But that can't be what is bothering you now, can it?"
Again Phoebe was startled out of her thoughts and with a small, sheepish smile she started talking again. "No, of course that's not it. I'm nothing if not exceedingly grateful and happy that you and Leo finally have a chance at happiness. But the thing is that while all I could think about was how to save you when we were standing around your body, as we were leaving the Manor I felt something that I have not felt for quite a while. It was so powerful and familiar that I couldn't get it out of my head, especially because I could not quite remember what it was that I had felt. So, all the time I and Paige were running around trying to find Leo and bring him back, part of me was consumed with reliving that brief moment, trying to decide why it was that it felt so familiar, so comforting – trying to decide what it was. I was pretty sure it was not demonic, after all there was only one demonic presence in which I ever felt comforted, loved or that felt familiar. But it was only when I remember that, that it dawned on me what it was that I felt." Phoebe drifted again off after the long explanation. Piper again waited her out until her frustration got the better of her.
"So, did you figure it out?"
This time Phoebe was not as startled, and Piper realized that this was going to be a long conversation. It seemed like Phoebe was with her only half of the time, the only half she was God knew where.
"Yes, I finally figured it out. But it was about a month later and only after much thinking, sleepless night and remembering. I don't know why I didn't figure it out much sooner, really. I guess I was in too much denial with myself to see what was in front on me. And I think I would have gone on like that if I had not been hit over the head with it. About a month after Leo came back, I decided I had had a bit too much introspection and some action was needed. Demonic attacks were for some reason down and I was tired of training – for some reason it was not helping. So, I decided to clean out my closet. As I was deciding what to throw and what to keep I came across this box that I could not remember. I opened it and saw an old sweater." Phoebe stopped again for a minute and shook her head, laughing ruefully at herself. "I can't believe I was in such denial that it actually took me a couple of minutes to remember whose sweater it was. But all of the sudden I remembered. That was the box where I've put all of Cole's stuff after we vanquished him the first time. With everything that we went through the second time, I guess I put it out of my head and forgot about it. Just as I tried to forget all about him."
This time when Phoebe stopped to compose herself and dried the tears that got started to fall, Piper did not try to rush her. She just put her arm around her sister and waited for Phoebe to go on. After a few minutes Phoebe calmed down enough and went on.
"After I remembered whose sweater it was, I put it aside and looked back into the box to see what else was there. I found pictures of us. Some of them were of all us in your wedding, some were of just Cole and me on the different trips we took and some were of all of us on Prue's funeral. Funny but despite how hard the death of Prue was, looking back on it, those were some of the happiest times of my life. I was in love, Piper. Not only that but I was loved, really loved. Someone really, really loved me. A powerful demon had walked away from all he knew, defying the source of all evil because he loved me, above all things. I guess you, and maybe only you, have an idea of how powerful a feeling that is. To have a powerful being turn his back on his heritage, his life just because they love you. There's noting else like it, is there?" Phoebe asked Piper.
Piper had never really thought about it before. Sure, she knew what Leo had given up to be with her and the boys, but she had never really see the similarities in what Cole had done to be with her sister. And if she was to be honest with herself, Cole had had a much harder road to walk than Leo, and he had been willing to walk it before Leo had. But despite the differences, Piper knew what it was to be loved above all by a powerful being who gave it all up for her. And she knew what an awesome feeling that was. "No, there's nothing quite like it. And not much that can even come close to it, is there?" she answered Phoebe.
"I knew that back then, I understood it and respected it. But somehow along the way I lost sight of it. But it all came back as I looked at the pictures. And I brought the sweater to hold it close to me as those forgotten emotions came rising up. And that is when I understood just what it was that I had felt that day you laid dying. I had felt Cole's presence. I'm not sure how or why, but for a few moments as I was leaving the Manor that day, I felt him and I could swear I actually heard his voice again." Phoebe paused a minute to gather her thoughts and Piper debated with herself whether she should tell her sister about why she heard Cole or whether she should wait and see what Phoebe is thinking.