Despite it all, its still you – it always was, it always will be.

AN: I'm sorry that this chapter has taken longer to be posted. I was mostly done with it a while ago, but my nephews came to visit and I could not finish it nor post it. As I've said in past chapters, I stopped watching Charmed when Cole become possessed by the source so I apologize if I've made any mistake in continuity - especially regarding what happened to Paige during that year, all I know about it has come from other fanfics. I tried to keep it to generalities, but one never knows. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it as much as the others.

ethereal girl: no, you are not pitiful - I love happy endings too. And as this is my story, it will definetily have a happy ending for everyone concerned. As this chapter makes clearer, he will definetily be coming back.

Chapter 6

About an hour later, Phoebe and Piper were still trying to find a way to contact Cole. Piper was going through the Book, while Phoebe was sitting on the couch going through some of their other books. When Phoebe had first decided to contact Cole, about two months ago, she had gone through the Book – cover to cover – and had found nothing. She had told Piper that there was nothing, but Piper insisted that Phoebe had just being looking on the wrong place. Cole was in limbo, she said, he had not gone on to the other side andshe was sure that had to make a difference. That disagreement had lasted about ten minutes, until Phoebe had given up and told Piper that if she wanted to waste time going through something that Phoebe had already gone through then she was welcome to do so, but she was going to move on to other books and see if she could find something useful there.

The sisters had been silently going about their research until suddenly Piper told Phoebe, without looking up from the Book: "We are going have to tell her, you know? Because sooner or later she'll find out and it'll be better if she finds out from us and not by accident." Piper looked up at Phoebe as she finished speaking.

Phoebe sighed, took off her reading glasses and massaged her nose where the glasses had started to pinched. "Yes, I know. It's just that. . ." She sighed again and leaned forward to rest her elbows on the book that rested on her lap. She looked at her hands playing with the arms of her eyeglasses for a while before going on. "She won't react well, you know. She won't understand my need to face Cole again and she'll go on and on about how he did evil and is therefore evil and how I should move on and leave the past in the past. She won't understand that he's the love of my life or that . . ." Phoebe trailed off as she thought of all the things that Paige won't understand, a bit overwhelmed by the thought of having to confront one of her sisters because of Cole all over again. With another sigh, Phoebe finished with a simple, "She just won't understand and probably won't even accept it."

Piper also sighed and agreed with Phoebe. "No, she probably won't understand. But you have to remember that of the three of us, Cole targeted her more than the two of us. It was her life that was upset the most when he altered reality. She was hurt and betrayed by him and unlike us she hasn't dealt with it. She hasn't felt the need to think back on those days from a different perspective and maybe see that Cole was also an innocent. So, she'll probably feel betrayed by us when she finds out." Piper finished with a 'what can you do' shrug. She then continued hoping to cheer Phoebe up a bit, "Well, cheer up. She may be pissed but at least she won't only be pissed at you." She then went on to explained as she saw her sister's somewhat puzzled face. "She's going to be really pissed at me because I didn't tell her that Cole was the friend that helped me last year."

"Yes, there is that." Agreed Phoebe, more comforted by the thought that she won't be alone in getting on Paige's bad side than cheered by it.

"There is that, what?" asked Paige as she walked into the attic.

Both Piper and Phoebe looked over at Paige, startled. They have been so into their discussion they have not heard her come up the stairs. Phoebe was particularly rattled as she had not even sensed her youngest sister's approach. Piper saw this and as a way of delaying the inevitable – she seemed to be doing that a lot lately, must have picked it up from Phoebe, she thought to herself – asked Paige, "So, what's it a real emergency this time?"

Over the last year, Paige had been developing her whitelighterhalf and doing such a good job of it, the elders had recently given her a new charge. She had had the new charge for a little over a month now, but sometimes it felt like it had been at least a year.

Maxie, a young witch of 26, was what was commonly known as a drama queen. She was a good person and could develop to be a powerful witch, not as powerful as the Charmed Ones but still a strong force for good; its just that she had this tendency to blow everything out of proportion. Everything. About two weeks ago, a chipped nail was enough for her to scream for her whitelighter for about an hour. Paige at the time had been in the middle of a vanquishing and though she had left as soon as her sisters were able to handle it themselves, but the time she had gotten to Maxie's place the young witch had been in near hysterics. It had taken Paige about two hours to calm her down she then went on to explained to Maxie that a chipped nail was most definitely not an emergency and that she should only call for real emergencies because aside from all the rest (how it was a waste of time to call for non-emergencies, how whiteligthers were not there to heal every little hurt and so on) Paige was also a Charmed One and as such she had to vanquish demons with her sisters and a call was always a distraction when she was in the middle of a battle so they should be kept to a minimum to avoid the possibility that a distracted Paige may get injured or caused one of her sisters to be injured.

That had not been the first such discussion nor was it the last. Maxie seemed to be unable to understand what constitutes a really emergency and what was just life; or maybe it was that she did not know how to handle little every day to day stuff by herself. Regardless of the reason, Paige had been 'on call' night and day since the day she had been assigned Maxie, with no idea when she would get a call (because it seemed that another thing Maxie did not understand was the difference between night and day) or how to tell when a call was serious or not. Paige was sure there had to be a way and Leo had told her it was all in the pitch of the call, but Paige was not experienced enough to really understand what he was talking about. So in the meantime, Paige had to answer every call because she could not risk not answering her in case that one time it was for real.

"So, so" Paige answered Piper. "She'd cut her hand as she was peeling an orange. It wasn't too bad but it wasn't a chip nail either. She would have needed stitches if she'd gone to the hospital, so I healed her. So, what's up? What are you guys researching? Maybe I can help."

Piper and Phoebe looked at each other, each trying to prompt the other to be the first one to tell Paige. After a few moments, Piper sighed and conceded defeated. She turned to her youngest sister. "Paige sweetie, do you remember last year when Leo lost her memory and I was really hurt?" she asked Paige.

"Of course, I remember, Piper. How could I not? I mean you were not just hurt, Piper, you almost died. How could I forget something like that?" Answered Paige.

"Yes, of course. Well, then you also remember how when I woke up I told you guys that a friend had helped?"

"Yes, I do. But you never did tell us just which friend had helped you. Are you going to tell us now?" Paige asked with a small smile. She was really curious to find out who had help her sister back then.

"Well, I did tell Leo back then. I didn't tell either of you before because I was sure neither of you would react too well and there was really no reason to tell you guys and upset you. But recent events" here she briefly glanced at Phoebe, "have changed my mind. So, I just told Phoebe a while ago and now I'm going to tell you."

"What old friend of yours could upset both Phoebe and me that you would not feel comfortable telling us about him? Oh, no," Paige started to shake her head as it occurred to her who it could be. "Please tell me it wasn't him. Anyone else but him, please."

"It was Cole, Paige. He was the old friend that helped me." Piper told her, nodding her head and confirming what to Paige was the worst possible news.

Paige kept shaking her head and exasperated said, "Jezz. Can't we get rid of him? I thought that the last time would be it. Well, at least this time you saw in him in another plane and he won't be coming here and I won't have to see him again." As soon as she finished saying this she noticed her sisters' face and then she remembered what Piper had said about recent events. With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Paige asked, "What recent events are you talking about Piper?" Though the question was directed at Piper, Paige had not taken her eyes from Phoebe's face.

As Piper opened her mouth to answer her, Phoebe put her hand up in the stop sign and said, "No, Piper. You told her your part now it's up to me." She swallowed hard and forced her eyes to meet Paige's before she started talking. "Paige, you may have noticed that for the last few months – the last year really - I've been a bit distracted?" Phoebe asked Paige, thinking that she would work her way to the really big news.

"Yes, I've noticed. I've been meaning to ask you what's wrong, but with my new charges, especially Maxie, I haven't had time. But what does that have to do with Cole?"

"A lot, actually. You see, I've been thinking about everything that happened that led to Cole's death, "

Paige interrupted to say in a hard voice, "His vanquishings, you mean."

Phoebe barely paused, but she did repeat firmly "his death, Paige. I've been thinking about it all – a lot. And from the vantage point of more than two years later and with my head clear of all the pain and anger, I've been able to see things more clearly and a bit differently. Those things have led me to some conclusions. . . ."

"Jezz, Phoebe! You can't be serious! You can't mean to tell ..." Paige again interrupted her sister, this time in a louder voice.

Phoebe put her hand up again and said in a voice as loud and as firm as Paige, "Paige! Please let me finished. Afterwards, you can say whatever you feel you need to." She waited for Paige to nod her head before continuing. Paige did nod her head after a glance at Piper, who had stayed quietly by the Book watching the discussion, but she crossed her arms over her chest and her face got that closed, mutinous look it always got when she was hearing something she did not like.

Phoebe knew that was going to be as good as she would get, so she went on in her normal voice. "As I was saying, I came to some conclusion about those events." Phoebe ignored Paige's snort and went on. "You may not like hearing this, Paige, but both Piper and I think that we were very unfairto Cole. No, wait. We are not saying that he didn't do evil things or even that he didn't need to be stopped. He did do evil things and he did need to be stopped. But, Paige, doing evil things – no matter how bad they are – does not necessarily make a person evil, nor does it mean that you can't go back to being good; if that were true then a lot of people in this world would be evil, including the three of us and Leo. We've all done bad things that we've later regretted. But we've later repented and tried to correct our mistakes. Now, I know that things with Cole were different."

Phoebe saw Paige nod her head and mutter under her breath, "no kidding." But Phoebe once again ignored her. "The difference was that he was possessed by the source of all evil, Paige. He did not consciously or willingly do any of those things. He was an innocent we failed to protect, Paige."

"You have got to be kidding me! An innocent? Cole? Huh!" Paige couldn't stop herself from interrupting.

"Yes, Paige, an innocent. He did not ask the source to take over him nor did he welcome it. And I'm sure that he did everything he could to stop him, but he was only a human man after all and he didn't have enough power to stop him. And before you bring it up, yes I know that he was not possessed when he returned from the wasteland. And yes I know that he was out of control. But, the thing is Paige that I'm pretty sure the powers he had picked up in the wasteland drove him crazy. And my rejection of him did not help matters at all. That's another thing I realized these last few months, I'm as responsible for the whole fiasco as Cole was. He had given up being a demon, the only thing he knew how to be, to be with me. I had promised him to stand by him no matter what; but when it got really tough and he needed me the most I failed him."

Paige had kept her mutinous face for most of Phoebe's speech, but by the time Phoebe finished her face had changed to one of incredulity and disbelief. She could not believe Phoebe was blaming herself, she had done nothing wrong. It had all been Cole's fault. He had been the one to go nuts and started attacking innocent people. Not to mention that he had also gone after her, Paige thought to herself. "Phoebe, you can't be serious! You're not responsible for any of that mess. The responsibility belongs to Cole and Cole alone. You were an innocent, just like all the other innocent people he hurt during that time." Paige finally said when she was able to find her voice. "And anyway, I don't understand why you guys are talking about this now. It all happened years ago, it's in the past. And Phoebe has finally put it all behind her and has moved on. Why bring it all back up now?"

"But that's just it, Paige. I have not moved on, I have not put it all behind me. And I'm pretty sure that I'm never going to be able to move on." Phoebe started to explain, but once again Paige interrupted her.

"Sure, you have. Come on, Phoebe, I mean how many relationships have you been in since he was vanquished?" Paige was not going to say he died. "At least three, right? And I know you've said you were in love at least once if not more." Paige insisted. She was desperate to convince her sister she had moved on because she had a terrible feeling she knew where this was headed, and she wanted to avoid getting there at all costs.

Phoebe looked at her little sister and saw how desperate she was to deny what she saw was coming. Phoebe was really sorry that her decision would cause her youngest sister pain; but the only way to avoid that would be for Phoebe to keep living without her soul mate, and as much as she loved Paige that was something Phoebe was not prepared to do – she was not going to sacrifice the love of her life again, she'd done it once and had found that life without him was at best a half live and at worst it was barely worth living. 'No', Phoebe assured herself, 'Paige would get over it, she just has to.'

With a sad sigh and a shake of her head, Phoebe answered Paige. "Yes, Paige, I've been in a number of relationships since Cole died," just as Paige refused to say Cole had died, Phoebe refused to say he'd been vanquished. "But have you never asked yourself why none of them have worked out? I have and I've to conclusion that it was because, while I love all of them, I was never in love with any of them. And do you know why that was? Because," Phoebe pressed ignoring Paige's attempts to interrupt her once again. "I've already met the love of my life, my soul mate and no one else can ever come close to him. Yes, Paige, as much as you would like for me to deny it and as easier as my life would be, I'm still in love with Cole, I've always been and I'll always will." Phoebe said in a quiet but firm voice; so firm and sure that there was no doubting the truth of it. She then decided to go for broke before she lost her nerve. "That's why we are looking for ways to get in touch with him." Phoebe then took a big breath and said what would send her sister over the edge, "And if at all possible, how to bring him back."

Paige just looked at her sister as if Phoebe had just committed the ultimate betrayal. She could not understand how her sister could still claim to love and want to bring back that, that, half-demon. Not after everything that he'd done to them, to the innocents. He had betrayed them all; he had almost broken them up and destroyed them. He had gone crazy and altered reality, and in the process had destroyed Paige's life. 'How can she, after everything we went through choose him over us, again?' Paige thought to herself. Because that was what was hurting Paige, the thought that her sister was once again choosing the demon that destroyed Paige's live. Paige kept shaking her head and as she backed out of the attic she asked Phoebe in a voice that was as furious as it was hurt: "How could you, Phoebe? Again? How could you?" As she reached the attic doors, Paige turned and ran down the steps.

Phoebe took a big breath and turned to look at Piper who had kept her silence throughout the whole thing. Piper looked at her and with a half a smile said "Well, that could have been worse."

Phoebe snorted a half laugh and said, "You think? Oh, Piper. I don't want to hurt her. That's the last thing I want to do, hurt any of you. But I have to be true to myself, Piper. I can't go on like this. I love him; I can't keep on denying it. And I want him back, my life's been empty without him. If there is any way to bring back, I have to do it Piper. Please, tell me you understand? Please Piper; tell me at least one of my sisters will stand by me." Pleaded Phoebe, who was desperate for support from her older sister and who had already forgotten that she was supposed to be mad at her for keeping Cole's whereabouts from her for more than a year.

Piper sighed and thought about how empty her live had been when Leo was not a part of it. And she had had his sons to keep her occupied and busy, Phoebe had had nothing of her lost love and she had gone on without him for far longer than Piper ever had had to do without Leo. Piper shook her head and thought about all the problems that bringing Cole back would create; not only with Paige but with everyone else – it would not be easy to explain the return of someone who was supposed to be dead, not to mention how the elders would react if they ever figure out that the one who had been Balthazor had been resurrected. And could they even bringing him back? Piper was not sure, but she had a feeling that that would require the power of three; which would mean that they would have to find a way to convinced Paige to not only accept that Cole would be back in their lives but to actually help in bringing him back. That would not be easy; in fact it may be asking more than Paige will be able to do. But despite all the problems, the happiness of Phoebe was at stake and Piper knew she would do whatever she had to do to ensure that happiness. Because she knew that Phoebe had really not been doing so good without Cole. So, she said, "Yes, Phoebe, I understand. And of course, I'll stand by you, haven't I always? And once Paige calms down and has a chance to think things through, I'm sure she'll stand by you too. You wait and see." Piper finished, sounding more confident than she actually felt.

Phoebe looked at her sister and said, "I hope you are right, Piper. I really hope you are, because I have a feeling that to bring Cole back we'll need the power of three."

"Yeah, Pheebs, I have the same feeling." Piper sighed.