Is it possible that there exists some great Being whose sole purpose in existence is simply to watch how things happen so that they do actually happen? On the Discworld this job is taken up by the History Monks; or the Warrior Monks of Wen if you prefer. Who does this job in the universe that Hogwarts exists in? And if there is, would he or possibly she, or even it if your that way inclined, be particularly interested in the lone figure currently trudging his way through the heavy rain that the clouds had decided to deliver. His hood was pulled up high over his face and he kept his body hunched up against the cold. His face wasn't visible. The supposed Watcher would have seen him stumble his way into a small dreary pub and nonchalantly make his way to a small table at the back somewhere. Once there he took off his cloak and sat down. He had a thin, gaunt, scruffy face that was nonetheless familiar. Had this face been seen in Ankh-Morpork the person doing the seeing would now be scanning the surrounding area for antisocial travel accessories. There was no trunk with hundreds of little legs following this man, and he didn't have his doubles timid, world fearing look. What he did have was the look of a man with nothing to lose. A second man approached the table and sat down calmly. He whispered something to the man who would be Rincewind in another world. He looked around conspiratorially, and then carefully pulled back the sleeve of his robe to reveal a mark on his arm. A fresh burn in the shape of a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth. The other man nodded to him and then showed him an identical mark.

"We've lost contact with our agent in the School" said Rincewind's double. The other man glanced around the room.

"Can we still continue with our plan?" he asked

"I doubt it. Dumbledore must have suspected something. In his last report Short mentioned a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow. That could be our chance" said the doppelganger.

"I won't fail" said his companion.

-

Would the Watcher be interested in all this? Or would there be other things happening at this moment to hold his, her, or even its attention?

-

The unexpected rainfall had also occurred in Ankh-Morpork. Had Ponder and Hermione been put together in the same room they would probably have come up with an explanation for this and still had time for crumpets and tea. As it was, Ponder had to do the best he could with Harry and Ron. The question of parallel rainfall never came up interestingly enough. Ridcully found them in the High Energy Magic building. Harry and Ponder were stood in front of HEX. Ron had disappeared behind it, fascinated by something that Ponder had called 'The FTB'

"Are you Ponders nearly done? Lord Vetinari is still here you know" said the Archchancellor. Harry and Ron took in the person walking beside him. The person walking beside the Archchancellor was around three foot tall. Harry first thought it was a goblin, but goblins don't usually have such large beards or wear chain mail. The only thing harry could think of was a Dwarf, and they certainly didn't wear leather skirts or lipstick. Did they?

"Almost. It's really interesting, you know? As you know magical energy is carried pretty much the same way light is, and the magical field surrounding the Disc is so thick that light can only travel slowly"

"You mean like that saying they have in Lancre. When it's lunchtime here it's Tuesday in Genua, or something like that" said the person next to Ridcully. Ponder realised she was there for the first time.

"Corporal Littlebottom. I didn't know that the Watch had gotten involved in this" said Ponder.

"The Patrician asked for Captain Carrot, and everyone knows what Commander Vimes is like when someone's giving orders" explained the Corporal.

"Hang on, he's called the Police?" asked Harry

"Police? No, it's called the City Watch here. Lord Vetinari was kind enough to inform us of the situation. We are just as confused about all this as you are" she said to Harry.

"Time for all that later. Ponder said he's figured something out!" declared Ridcully in a voice that said all too clearly that the Watch was something that happened to other people.

"Err, yes. Anyway, magic itself is thick and heavy here. It takes a long time to prepare a spell and then most wizards tend to channel them through staffs to accommodate the weight of the spell. In Ron and Harry's world the magical field must be much lighter than it is here"

"So it takes less time and preparation to work a spell. And a wand will carry the weight just as well as a staff" said Corporal Littlebottom, quicker on the uptake than most of the University staff.

"Exactly right" said Ponder, a little uneasy that it had been a woman who had understood first. Ridcully started to argue something with Ponder. Harry wasn't paying attention.

"So, err, Corporal, do you know what is going to happen while we're waiting to sort the portal out? So Ron and I can get back home?" Harry realised what the words were that he had said. He had often thought of Hogwarts as his home.

"You can call me Cheery" said Cheery, "And I'm not entirely sure. I'm sorry. All I know is that the Patrician still wants to talk to you both"

"So you don't know why he wants the… Watch here? We haven't done anything wrong"

"I'm just as confused as you are" Cheery shrugged.

"You mentioned a Captain Carrot and a Commander…"

"Vimes. Well, Vimes is alright when he's in a good mood, but everyone likes Captain Carrot. He is a really nice person. We'd probably best get this over with. The Patrician doesn't like being kept waiting"

"You're right. Ron, we've got to see the Patrician now" Harry shouted to his friend.

"Just a minute Harry" Ron called back from behind the body of HEX. He scrambled out and followed Harry and Cheery to the door. Neither of them noticed the disbelieving look that found its way onto Cheery's face. Her beard hid it too well.

-

Rincewind was going to find out exactly what Ponder meant soon. At the moment he was sat heavily in an empty fireplace and swore under his breath that if anyone ever mentioned Flue powder to him again he was going to run so fast that he may as well be teleporting. Hermione helped him to his feet.

"Gha…ha…ha…aa" he mumbled just before the young witch pulled him out of the way of the fireplace. A second later The Luggage shot through like a wooden torpedo.

"How did it do that? It can't speak. You can't use Flue powder without speaking" exclaimed Hermione.

"I've never known that stop it" Rincewind muttered. He then looked around the room they had appeared in. Dumbledore had given Hermione permission to be out of classes for the afternoon to help Rincewind with his shopping. They had appeared in what looked like a dressmaker's store.

"Right, you've already got Professor Short's books"

"Err, the Luggage ate them"

"Okay, well you'll need new books. Unless you can get them out" Hermione was smart. She was probably the first girl Rincewind had ever met who didn't consider the Luggage 'adorable'.

"You could probably do with some new robes too, and you'll need a wand" she continued

"And a hat. You're not a proper wizard without a hat" Rincewind said loudly. The storekeeper heard them and came over.

"Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear. We have a large selection of hats over here" she said. Rincewind smiled weakly.

-

Lord Vetinari had commandeered Ridcully's office for the duration. He sat back in the Archchancellor's chair and gave the target directly over the Bursar's desk across the hall a look, then glanced down at the crossbow sitting innocently at the foot of the desk he was sat behind. At that moment His Grace, The Duke of Ankh Commander Sir Samuel Vimes entered the room in a storm cloud of foul temper.

"What is the big idea? So the wizards blew something up instead of the alchemists. How does this rate as more important than my officer's investigations?" he shouted.

"Commander Vimes, I do believe I requested Captain Carrot" Vetinari gave no indication that there was currently a man shouting at him.

"Well I got here first. I am not leaving until I find out what this is about" Vimes voice went so far though being cold that it burned.

"Oh good, I sent Drumknott back to the palace to complete some errands for me. And I could probably use a second opinion" he said calmly, annoying Vimes even more. Before he could respond Cheery Littlebottom knocked on the open door.

"Your Lordship, Commander, the boys are here" she said, catching Vimes' eye as she did so.

"Send them in" said Vetinari. Harry and Ron came in.

Vetinari sat back behind the desk. The Watchman in the battered old armour stood beside him with a disbelieving look on his face. Harry had seen that look a million times before. The look that said 'Is that him?' Then Harry realised something as the Watchman reached for his cigarettes. He wasn't looking at him. He was looking at Ron.

"Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything important?" said a cheerful voice behind them. Harry turned around. And then he knew why. Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson was a lot taller than Ronald Weasley, he was a lot stronger too, but Harry could have sworn that they were brothers.

-

Rincewind had never really thought about wands much. He hadn't even thought about them at all recently until Hermione had led him into Ollivander's Wand shop. They had bought some new robes and he had found a hat that was red, covered in stars and was in a style that had went out of fashion some twenty years ago. There was no writing on it but you couldn't expect everything. Rincewind was more than prepared to take a needle and thread to it once he had found some sequins. After some gentle coaxing and the promise of an ice cream the Luggage had let them get the books that they needed without going to a shop, and Hermione had thought it a good idea to get Rincewind a trial subscription to the Daily Prophet newspaper. That left the wand.

"Ollivander's is the best for wands. I got mine here when I started at Hogwarts" Hermione was explaining when a creepy man appeared from the shadows cast by the boxes piled high.

"Ah, Miss Grainger, and you would be Professor Rincewind, am I correct?" Rincewind didn't have a chance to answer him, and wouldn't have if he had. Hermione sat down in a spindly old chair.

"I am Mr. Ollivander and you are here because you need a wand. Which is your wand hand?"

Rincewind made a few noises in the back of his throat and held up the hand he wrote with. Ollivander picked up a tape measure and started measuring Rincewind, who hadn't moved an inch.

"Most wizards usually buy their wand when they start school. However this is a rough business, magic, it's not that unusual to need a second"

"So how do I pick…" Rincewind began

"Oh no, they may do things differently where you come from but here it is the wand that chooses the wizard. Try this. Unicorn Hair and Yew, nine inches" Ollivander pressed the wand into Rincewind's hand. He glanced at Hermione who nodded, then, feeling very stupid, he waved it about. Nothing happened.

"No. Phoenix feather and redwood, eight and three quarter inches" said Ollivander, taking the first wand and replacing it with a second. Again nothing.

"Hmm, Dragon heartstring and ash, seven inches" said Ollivander, replacing the wand. Still nothing. Rincewind felt stupider than ever.

"Ah. Dragon heartstring and cedar, thirteen inches"

"Oh no, not thirteen. It's bad luck…" Rincewind began as he took hold of the wand. A burst of magic shot out of the end. It hit a pile of empty boxes and made them levitate.

The potion Rincewind had taken to stop him from fainting had worn off by now. He hit the floor.