Chapter Eleven: What We Wish We'd Forgotten
There were some parts of herself that Haley didn't like to acknowledge.
Like the fact that the only reason she had kept her job for so long was because she was sleeping with her boss kind of made her a hooker.
Like her obvious trust issues, and her uncertainties concerning him, which made it impossible to tell him about his biological child.
Like the fact that despite the insecurities, his spouse, their age difference, she'd fallen completely in love with him.
Sometimes she forgot just exactly when she'd started loving him. Was it that time, so long ago, that Lucas had arranged the interview at Nathan's company and she'd gone in, sat across the desk from her and he'd simply smiled at him? Or the time, not so long after she'd begun working, that she'd gone into his office, expecting to do an errand for him and had somehow, inexplicably found herself completely seduced by him? Or when she'd decided not to abort her child?
It had been the obvious answer. She was pregnant, alone and only twenty-three.
They'd been lovers for months already, but barely on speaking terms. Despite wanting to know Mr. Scott better as a person, he had ways of making her feel like she'd never felt before.
Haley, a virgin before Mr. Scott, had never had to worry about becoming pregnant and therefore didn't connect the dots when she started feeling constantly queasy and had mood and appetite swings. But after two missed periods and the growing skepticism of her two roommates, she took an at home pregnancy test. And then another one, when she didn't fully accept the obvious truth.
She was pregnant.
Taylor hinted that she should abort, Peyton pushed for adoption. Nathan had no idea. When she was six months along and beginning to show, she requested a long leave of absence and flew off to California to visit her parents. When she arrived she told them everything
She lived in relative comfort and acute unhappiness for three months. A week before her due date, she went into labour and fairly easily delivered a six and a half pound baby girl.
Haley didn't know why she was expecting a boy, but she had been. So when her baby girl popped out, she had no idea of what to call her. She already had a boys name lined up-Nathan Lucas James. When the boy didn't materialize it, she tried her best to feminize the name, into Natalya. She picked up her cousin's name for the middle name, and three weeks later, she arrived back in New York to raise her daughter with her best friends.
And it had been that way ever since. Many months of raising her daughter, interacting with Taylor and Peyton and having sex with Mr. Scott. It had all been the same, up until that sacred day a month previously when he'd stepped into her life for real.
Brooke was in denial.
But it wasn't proper denial, because she knew she was in it. She knew that the baby couldn't possibly be Nathan's, but also knew she'd never admit to herself or anyone else that it was Lucas'. Partially due to the fact that sleeping with someone because you were annoyed that your husband was sleeping with someone was fairly despicable, and also partially because she did want her marriage to work.
"Brooke?" called Lucas. Brooke ran to catch the door.
"Luke, come in," she said. She hadn't seen or talked to him since all their time together in Florida.
"What's up? You okay?" he asked.
"Not really. Luke…"
"What, Nathan and you splitting up?" he asked.
"Luke, let me talk. I'm pregnant. And I'm staying with Nathan," she said, looking away, knowing she couldn't stand looking any longer into his eyes.
"And it's his?" asked Lucas eventually.
"I don't know," she said.
"You do know," he said, quietly persistent. He turned his face toward his with his index finger.
"It's yours," she admitted.
"Tell Nathan. You know this isn't working," said Lucas gently.
"Luke, this is a marriage! You can't just leave it!" she exclaimed.
"When you're pregnant with someone else child, I think you kind of get a get out of jail free card," he said.
"It doesn't work like that. I'm sorry," she said. Leaning forward, he kissed her gently. Letting go of her ideals, she opened her mouth and let him in.
"Stop it! I can't!" she said, tearing her mouth away from his.
"You said it yourself, that Nathan's having an affair."
"I think it's over. You have to go," she said. Slowly he stood and walked purposefully out of the door into his empty life.
Lucas felt as though his life was a series of dead ends. He'd lost his brother by sleeping with his wife. He'd lost Brooke by impregnating her. He was going to have to retire from his all-star career, too. Younger men were continually coming in to steal the show. He had nothing anymore.
And he needed something.
A sudden realization brought him in a cab to Haley's apartment.
"Hey," he said, nearly breathless. Haley had answered the door with Natalya on her hip. Lucas had always known that Haley was beautiful, but it had never occurred to him to ask her out. She was so innocent, so unlearned in the ways of the world in his eyes.
"What's up?" she asked. She hoped he wouldn't notice the puffiness in her eyes.
"I just wanted to talk," he said. Uninvited, he walked into her apartment and dropped onto a sofa.
"Okay. Natalya's getting a new tooth and she's being clingy-I don't have much time," said Haley.
"What, Taylor's not around?" asked Lucas.
"No. What is it that you want?" she asked.
"I wondered if you wanted to go out some time," he said slowly. Haley nearly dropped her baby in surprise. Before two years ago, she'd barely gotten to second base. Now she was romantically involved (almost) with the city's most eligible bachelor, and the mother of his brother's child.
"What?" she managed to say. Lucas Scott was her man friend-her only man friend. Never her boyfriend.
"Look Haley, I've dated a lot. You more than anyone know that. And you're the only woman out there I can spend time with and actually enjoy myself, so I think that counts for a lot," he said.
"Okay," she said sullenly. Lucas didn't exactly know why he was doing what he was doing, but he was surprised when she agreed to go along with it.
"Okay?"
"Okay. Take me somewhere fabulous," she requested.
"Okay. I'll take you somewhere fabulous. Uh, tomorrow night?" he requested.
"Tomorrow night," she agreed.
"Uh, how's work?" he asked. Haley's eyes instantly clouded over.
"I quit."
"Why?"
Haley paused, and looked across at him. Suddenly she had a burning desire to tell him absolutely everything.
"We wanted different things," she said eventually.
Author's note: The previous author's note was in no way meant to determine the ending of this story, and is merely my personal views.