Stinkbomb, Kaiba?
It was to be a glorious pranking, one unmatched by any other in the history of Domino, daringly targeting the off-limits and imposing Kaiba mansion. Except that Joey and Téa got lost inside the unnecessarily large house.
Part Two of Four – Sneaking Around
"This is the stupidest idea ever," Téa grumbled.
"I think I'm doing a pretty good job so far," Joey defended, but quietly.
"Why would the control room be upstairs?" she nearly whined.
"I don't think it really is- but I've got so many brilliant ideas!" Joey stopped climbing the stairs for a moment to look at her. Téa caught a glimpse of wide, dreamy eyes, lovingly plotting out every detail of his practical jokes.
"Oh, Joey," she sighed, trying to convey her disapproval, but it went in one ear and out the other. He began climbing again, bypassing the second floor and emerging on the third floor.
"I'm gonna start checking out the rooms," Joey announced, turning to face her. "You wanna try that one?" He pointed at a door on the left.
Téa put her hands on her hips and huffed. "I don't want to prowl through someone else's house!"
"We're not prowling," he explained. "I'm just curious, is all! Plus, I need to find a good place to set up my pranks." He was nearly glowing with anticipation.
Téa's head dropped in defeat. "I just want to get out of here…" she sighed.
"Well, help me out, just for a little while, and then we'll leave together! Okay?" Joey grinned charmingly.
"Oh God," she groaned. "If it'll speed this up- sure." She yanked the door open and peered inside. "Nothing," she reported.
"Téa!" Joey gave her a gentle shove in the back. "You have to go explore. Look for potential pranks."
"What, exactly, am I supposed to be looking for?"
"Like, personal care items. Shampoo would be good. Or clothes."
"Wouldn't those be in a bedroom?"
"If you find one of those, tell me right away!" Joey grinned again, then turned and slipped through another doorway. "Be back in a second," he said, letting the door close gently behind him.
Téa rolled her eyes, but stepped into the room and pulled the door closed behind her. Waiting a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, she walked across the room. It was mostly empty; the sparse furniture had heavy covers over it and the lamps didn't have any bulbs in them. She slid open the closet: empty. A set of double doors led to a balcony, but she didn't bother to check that.
She walked across the room again, intending to wait for Joey in the hallway. Her hand closed over the doorknob and tried to push it down-
It was locked.
She stared at the handle in disbelief. No lock on this side. She vaguely remembered seeing a bolt on the other side when she entered; it must lock from the hallway. So she was stuck.
She dropped her sneakers and gave it one last hard tug, just to be sure. The door remained firmly in place. She contemplated pounding on it and calling for Joey, but shuddered at the thought of attracting any unwanted attention.
Téa glared fiercely at the door. "Joey Wheeler, you'd better hurry up," she whispered, praying that he would remember where she was supposed to be and release her.
Ten minutes later, she gave up.
Joey stepped through the room, eyes darting around professionally. There was very little potential here; it looked like an office, but hadn't been used in a while. He crossed quickly to the doors on the other side and chose one at random. From there, he entered another office. Shaking his head – this hallway was a dud – he found a door that led back into the hallway and scanned up and down for Téa.
She wasn't there.
His brow furrowed, and he trotted partway down the hallway, reaching a T-junction. He looked left and right quizzically. He didn't remember this – where was the stairway? Slowly, he began to wonder if he was in the right hallway. It looked familiar, but then again, all the hallways probably looked the same. Shrugging, he decided that the best thing to do would be to retrace his steps…
Except he couldn't remember them. Which door had he just come out of? Left or right?
He groaned, albeit quietly. He opened one door: it looked like the office he'd just left, but something was slightly off… he opened the door next to it.
The offices were identical.
"Hell, Kaiba, what on earth do you want with twenty empty offices?" Joey gnashed his teeth together. Okay, he was still on the same floor, so he was bound to find his way back eventually, right? Téa was probably waiting for him in the hallway. He just had to find the correct one. If he'd taken a right from the main hallway, and a left into the next room, and straight into this hallway, should he go right or left?
"Screw it," he muttered. He went left.
Téa sighed and absently rubbed the irritating latex gloves, wondering where Joey was. Maybe the same thing had happened to him. Or maybe he'd gotten caught up in one of his beloved practical jokes. She shook her head, resigning herself to the fact that she would have to find another way out. She checked the closet again, but there was definitely no way out. Her parents had a trap door leading to the attic on the ceiling of their closet, but this ceiling was smooth. There was probably another floor or two above her, anyway, so no attic.
She tested the doors to the balcony. To her relief, the lock was on her side. She unbolted it and stepped outside cautiously. The balcony appeared stable enough. Unfortunately, there were no more doors. She edged down carefully to the lone window, which led to a different room, and peered through.
It was either covered by curtains or pitch-black inside the room. Possibly both.
She rolled her eyes, then figured that she was pretty much out of options. She could either go in there or sit out here and wait for someone to notice her. Obviously she wanted to escape unseen. Téa examined the window to see how it opened: once unlocked, the windows would swing outward.
Once unlocked. That was the problem.
Téa tilted her head to the side so the dim moonlight could fall directly on the small window. It was comprised of two panes of glass, split down the middle by a strip of ornate metal. It looked like the lock was in the metal. Yes- she could see it. The lock was a simple hook. If she could slip something in the middle, she could lift the latch.
She fumbled around in the deep pockets of her pants, and came out triumphantly with a nail file. Sliding it in the crack, she easily slipped the latch up and pulled the windows outward, one pane opening on each side. As she did so, a warning flashed through her mind: WHAT IF THERE'S A BURGLAR ALARM?!
The thought came too late, and she cringed, expecting to hear blaring sirens pierce the night. Red lights flashed in front of her eyes, and her eardrums split with the sheer force of the noise. A few seconds later, she became aware of running footsteps, and someone grabbed her arm. She squinted up to see a spectacularly-pissed off Seto Kaiba… "You're dead, Gardner," he growled, before closing his fist around her neck and throwing her off the balcony…
Slowly, Téa opened her eyes. There was nothing. She had been imagining the worst-case scenario… and now there was nothing. No alarm. No running security guards. No furious Seto Kaiba. In fact, there was so much nothing that she started to become suspicious.
"Maybe Kaiba knows we're here, and this is just one big joke on us…" she muttered, shuddering for a moment before quickly climbing through the window. She shut and latched it behind her, then headed straight for the door. To her immense relief, it was unlocked. She let herself out into the hallway and paused a moment, trying to get her bearings. She wasn't sure which direction…
Téa began to pad down the hallway, then stopped. Was that an echo, or…
No; she could hear clearly now. There were definitely footsteps, coming her way.
"Joey!" she whispered to herself, relieved to have finally found him. From the sound of it, he was coming down a side hallway to her right. His feet padded slowly on the thick carpet, and he was breathing heavily.
…he was breathing very heavily. It almost sounded as if he were snoring. What on earth was he thinking?
"Why are you doing that? Do you want to get caught?" Téa hissed as the body rounded the corner. A second later, it processed in her mind that this dark shape was much shorter than Joey. The person slowly turned and shuffled towards her, and even in the darkness she recognized the slender form and mass of black hair. "Mokuba?" she squeaked.
To his utmost delight, Joey found himself in the wing of the mansion that the Kaiba brothers slept in. He passed by a door hinged slightly open. He would have gone in, but for the sign on the door: 'Mokuba's Room'. Mokuba had evidentially made the sign himself, and surrounded the letters in the middle with various childish drawings. Joey gave a lopsided grin, and carefully made his way past the open door. He neither heard nor saw sign of the sleeping child inside.
The next door he came across was decorated with a similar sign: 'Mokuba's Bathroom'. The bathroom would be a perfect place to start his practical jokes, but Joey bypassed the door without thinking. He had nothing against the kid, and why waste supplies? Getting the elder Kaiba's bathroom would be much more rewarding.
Doubling back, Joey took a glance at the door opposite from Mokuba's bedroom. This, too, had a sign on it: 'Seto's Bedroom'. It was obvious Mokuba had made this as well; it was in the same careful handwriting, and Mokuba had drawn a picture of a Blue-Eyes White Dragon next to the words. It was cute – it didn't fit Seto Kaiba at all.
Though the door opposite Mokuba's bathroom was unlabeled, it made sense that this would be Kaiba's bathroom. Joey very, very cautiously pushed the door open and flicked his tiny penlight. He was rewarded with the sight of Kaiba's tidy and clean bathroom, with the door leading to the bedroom very firmly closed.
Joey's grin screamed victory. He carefully set his backpack down on the floor and unzipped it, pulling out his ammunition. First things first… His eyes fell on the shower. Tugging open the thick glass doors, Joey snatched up Kaiba's shampoo bottle. He unscrewed the top and, with concentration he never showed in chemistry class (which had once resulted in a rather large hole in Ryou Bakura's sweater), added a liberal amount of honey to the top of the shampoo. With a victorious grin, he replaced the shampoo, hoping Kaiba tended to squirt it directly into his hair.
It was still a shame that he'd left the bleach at home… Kaiba would look so wrong as a blonde, and it would have been great.
He reached into the bag again, plucking out a small funnel and a package of food dye. With a wicked grin on his face, he crept over to the sink, scouting out the toothpaste. Joey opened it up and squeezed a small amount out, just to make sure of the color. "Green," he whispered, choosing that same color from the package of food dye. He funneled it into the toothpaste, then screwed the cap back on and squeezed the tube to mix in the dye. "I wonder how Kaiba will look with green teeth?"
Joey noticed one more difference between this porcelain shrine and his own crowded bathroom: Kaiba kept the toilet seat down. Like, fully. "Freak," Joey muttered. But it would make things easy. Carefully, he squeezed a tube of clear hair gel in a line around the seat, trying not to think about the reason Kaiba would sit on it. He lowered the lid; it was impossible to tell what he'd done. Hopefully Kaiba wouldn't look down before sitting.
Last, but certainly not least. In fact, he would love to be around for the results of this one. Joey unzipped the front compartment and removed his precious can, cradling it in his arms as if it were a small child. Tristan had given him this for his birthday, and how proud would he be to see how Joey put it to use!
He opened the linen closet next to the shower. As expected, there hung Kaiba's bathrobe. With a mad smirk, Joey held the robe open and shook the can over it, concentrating especially where the cloth would settle over Kaiba's ass. He was very careful not to get any of the particles on himself – after all, itching powder was such an unpleasant sensation.
Téa slapped both hands to her face, horrified. "I am so sorry – I can explain!" she began in a desperate whisper. Mokuba didn't say anything; he just shuffled closer. He was still making that heavy breathing noise; the one that sounded like… snoring?
"Are you sleepwalking?" she asked, her voice very high. Thankfully, he didn't respond, which answered her question in the affirmative. She went weak with relief. Keeping her eyes on Mokuba, she backed up to the end of the hallway. She felt a little bad just leaving him there, but he had to be safe in his own house… unlike her. Téa found the staircase and started to descend it, her only thoughts right now focused on getting out of here –
Someone was coming up the stairs.
Her jaw dropped at her absolute rotten luck (how many people are wandering around this damn place at four in the morning?, she wondered indignantly), and she hurriedly turned around. Thanking her lucky stars that she had a dancer's graceful steps, and that her duckling socks didn't make any noise on the carpeted staircase-
Hold that thought. "My socks?" she whispered, looking at her empty hands. I left my shoes in that room!
She nearly groaned out loud, but her sense of self-preservation was too strong. She made it to the fourth floor without being detected. The stairs wouldn't go any higher; this must be the top floor. She paused at the top of stairs, ready to flee down the hallway, but the people coming up stopped at the third floor. Téa sighed silently, and sat down near the edge of the staircase, listening to whatever happened next. What if they knew about Joey?…
"Mokuba!" The voice belonged to an elderly lady. "It is him, Blake."
"I thought as much. Third time this week this child's sleepwalked. Why don't you take him back to his bedroom, Dolores, and I'll check in the room where the alarm went off to make sure he didn't leave any windows open."
Oh! There had been an alarm- a silent alarm! Either to fool any bumbling robbers (not like me, she fiercely hushed the voice in her head) or so that Mokuba wouldn't wake up if he ever sleepwalked. It was only by sheer luck that Mokuba got blamed for setting off that window, and she and Joey must have made it inside before the security guards rewired the alarm after the truck delivery.
She allowed herself a few moments of utter relief, and made a solemn vow to kill Joey if they ever got out of this alive. How were they going to get out, anyway, if the security system was running? Well, Téa supposed while they were changing the security tapes, they could also temporarily de-activate the alarm-
Oh no, she suddenly realized. That security guard had been alerted the second the silent alarm went off! And there was no way he could have known that, unless… They man the control room all night! …we are so dead…
As Téa was burying her head in her hands, she heard footsteps beneath her, and Dolores and Blake converged again.
"He's back in bed, sound asleep, the sweet child," Dolores said fondly. "I hope he grows out of this sleepwalking phase soon – I always worry, as does Mister Kaiba."
"Well, no harm has come yet. Mister Kaiba is very good about making sure Mokuba is safe. Now, you run off to bed, Dolores. I need to do a quick check of the fourth floor, and I'll follow you."
"The fourth floor? Whyever would you need to check that?"
"Whenever the alarm goes off, Mister Kaiba requires a security check of every floor," Blake said wryly. "I start from the top and work my way down."
Dolores sighed. "He's so concerned, bless him. Well, you do your check and then get a few more hours of sleep. Good night, Blake."
"See you in the morning, Dolores," he responded, and their footsteps once again went apart: Blake heading up the stairs, Dolores going down.
"Bless him," Téa mimicked under her breath. Who would have thought that his employees thought so fondly of Ka-
Blake heading up the stairs? Security check!
She scrambled up as quickly as she could and backed into the nearest room. The door closed gently just before Blake entered the hallway and headed straight for the nearest door. He swung it open, glanced inside, and closed it quickly. Téa felt the blood drain from her face – her door was next!
But Blake didn't turn to face her. He headed down further, swung open the next door, and closed it. After he did that again, bypassing another door to the left, Téa realized he was checking the hallway one side at a time. She squeezed her eyes shut, thankful that she'd chosen a closet on the left side. It bought her a few more precious seconds, though it wouldn't be long until Blake reached the end and doubled back. And it wasn't like there was any way out of this. No doors, no windows- it was a storage closet, and a relatively small one at that. And, while the windows at either end of the hallway let in some moonlight, it was pitch black inside here. She groped behind her, hoping for something to hide behind, but her hand encountered plaster: no luck there.
She took a deep breath, hearing the steady opening and shutting of the doors, reminding her that doom was at hand. She wondered for a moment what kind of face Blake would make when he swung open the closet for another perfunctory glance, and encountered a human crouching in the shadows. She wondered what kind of face Kaiba would make when he sent her to jail for a year. Possibly three years. No doubt he would be grinning like a maniac.
Téa had one last hope – she stretched up, trying to reach the ceiling. This was the top floor; maybe she would finally find a trap door leading to the attic. Her fingers grazed the uneven surface – yes! She traced the outline of a door! Seeking out the handhold eagerly, Téa yanked it down and hurriedly unfolded the ladder, working expertly in the pitch black. She scaled the ladder and threw herself on the attic floor, pulling up the trapdoor quickly behind her. Lying on the wooden plyboard, she pressed her ear to the floor, trying to listen.
Blake grew closer, opening the doors on the left side now. When he reached the closet, he had it open for only a few seconds before shutting it quietly. Heaving a sigh of relief, he headed down the staircase, his footsteps slowly fading into nothing.
Nearly paralyzed with the fear of all her near-escapes, Téa waited for nearly five minutes before stirring. She rolled over and attempted to stand up, but her head collided heavily with the ceiling. "OW!" she shouted, then clamped a hand to her mouth, biting down to distract her attention from the pain. When the throbbing subsided, she cautiously reached up and touched the ceiling. It wasn't more than two feet above her head! "What kind of an attic is this?" she grumbled, rolling over again so she was on her back. She remembered the penlight in her pocket and brought it out, shining it around. The ply board only covered a small percentage of the floor space; the rest was taken up by pipes, tubes, wires, and strange buttons. She saw a few metal appliances to her right.
"Oh geez," she realized, rolling her eyes. It wasn't an attic at all – go figure; with all the empty rooms downstairs, what would the Kaibas need with an attic? No, this was a repair zone; she was currently in the crawl space workers used when they needed to fix something like the air conditioning or the lighting.
Téa glanced from side to side, something critical occurring to her. I wonder if the security system feed goes through here?…