Warnings, disclaimers, and other points to ponder: First off, we do not own anything. We are simply borrowing J.K. Rowling's lovingly crafted characters for our own amusement, entertainment, excuse to take up a booth at Denny's for 4 hours twice a week, etc.

Secondly, transitions between scenes in temporal and physical space are denoted by a line of x's in an attempt to make the flow a little less confusing. If it works, it will be implemented in the earlier chapters when we do our tertiary beta sweep. If it doesn't work, we will just have to go back to Denny's to come up with a new plan for world domination. Coughs I mean, format continuity. Yes, we will have to come up with a new plan for format continuity.

And finally, keep in mind this is a bit of an experiment in group writing. Each member of the group was assigned a set of characters and writes the actions and dialogue for those characters. Group interactions and dynamics are usually hashed out over instant messenger or at Denny's over vast quantities of coffee with some actions being dictated by either the flip of a coin or a dice roll. The cool part is it is a good mechanism to prevent the dread Mary Sue phenomena and it creates a good deal of wriggle room for character development overtime. The downside is it gets a little hairy with two to three people writing at any given time and shifts in style are sometimes very apparent. So that being said I hope you enjoy our latest venture and you will hear from me (or at least read from me) on the other side of this tale.

Paige muttered something under her breath and headed back to her room. When she entered, she saw Sirius pacing back and forth. She closed the door quietly and locked it. "Are you okay?" she asked him.

Sirius nodded and blew out a breath of air. "Fine. Just fine. Perfectly fine." He huffed. He swiftly turned on his heel and began pacing in the other direction. "What a prat, huh? What a stupid, ignorant PRAT!" He kicked a stool and sent it flying into Paige's bed. Paige winced and whispered a temporary silencing spell on her room. She then went over and picked up the stool, putting it back where it belonged.

"Sirius," she said in her most soothing voice, "it's ok. Don't even think about him. He's just an arrogant prick that was trying to get to you."

Paige sank into her bed and Sirius went back to pacing. He shook his head and growled, then composed himself. "It's not that easy, Paige. He said some horrible things to me tonight. Mentioning James was over the top even for that greasy-haired slime ball!"

Paige nodded and patted the bed next to her, suggesting that he sit down. "So, how do you know him?"

Sirius sat down on the bed and leaned back on his elbows. "Well, James and I made his life a bit harsh when we went to school together. Actually, we made his life a living hell is more like it. I'm not proud of what we did to him, but now I wish for just one more shot at him, you know?"

Paige let out a short laugh and nodded. "So the little school boy fight continues? How childish."

Sirius sat up. "Don't judge me like that! He continues it by tormenting Harry! Harry hasn't done anything to deserve this and Snape just picks on him incessantly! Harry is innocent and Snape knows it! He would keep doing everything he's doing whether or not I stopped, just because he can bother me by doing it." He yelled.

Paige's eyes went wide and she backed away a little. "Alright! I'm sorry! Well, you'll be happy to know that Kate and I attacked him and threw him out."

Sirius smirked and said, "Yes, that does make me happy." Paige laughed and moved over next to him again. Sirius looked at her for a second, placed an arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

Paige giggled and looked at the clock. "Oh my gosh! It's getting pretty late and I have a tennis game with one of my kids in the morning. I'd better get to bed." Sirius nodded and got up to go. Paige put her hand on his arm. "You can sleep in here tonight if you want, I won't mind."

Sirius grinned and winked. "I think I'll do that. Do I need to go get my pajama bottoms?"

Paige shrugged. "I don't care. Do what you want, but I'm going to go change." She walked into her closet and closed the door. Sirius smiled to himself and went to get changed. He came back in and froze when he saw Paige. She was wearing a cream colored silk gown that barely skimmed the top of her thighs. She was gorgeous.

Paige giggled and climbed into bed. "Well Sirius, are you going to gape at me all night or are you going to come to bed and let me get to sleep?" Sirius remembered himself and smiled warmly.

He climbed in next to her and propped himself up on his hand. "Just admiring a work of art." He leaned over and kissed Paige longingly and she put her arms around his neck. Sirius deepened the kiss as Paige pressed her body into his. He let out a soft moan.

Paige then broke the kiss and chided, "Sirius, you're going to keep me awake all night if we keep this up! I have a game tomorrow and then I have to work with Percy. You don't want me to be exhausted for that, do you?"

Sirius rubbed her stomach with his hand and gave her a lop-sided grin. "That depends on the reason, honey." Paige chuckled and pushed him onto his back. She sighed, nuzzling against his neck she made a little happy noise. Sirius chuckled softly and flicked his wand at the light switch, sending the room into darkness. He then put his wand on the table next to his side of the bed and wrapped his arms around Paige and promptly fell asleep.

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While Paige was sorting out Sirius in her bedroom, Remus moved closer to Kate in the living room. He quirked a smile at her, "Mass murdering fuckhead?", he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Kate blushed, "My family isn't too fond of Voldemort."

"Really? I would have never guessed." Remus chuckled.

Kate gently shoved Remus's arm, "I have a tendency to go overboard on the alliteration from time to time."

Remus placed his hand under Kate's chin and gently lifted it so she was gazing into his eyes. "I would never doubt for a moment that you are very clever." he whispered as he leaned forward and placed his forehead against hers. Kate blushed an even deeper shade of crimson and tried to turn her head away from him. He let out a small sigh and wrapped his arms around her. "So you are willing to challenge one of the most powerful wizards in England, but you refuse tell Lockhart to sod off?"

Kate mumbled into Remus's chest, "Um. I guess so..."

Remus pulled her closer, "You are so sweet." He purred as he kissed the top of her head. "And you even fluster more readily than I do." Kate glared up at him and growled. Remus gazed down at her adoringly and laughed harder.

Kate mumbled her response into Remus's chest.

"What was that, love?" he asked.

Kate pulled away from him a little and cleared her throat. She whispered, "He was threatening the ones I care deeply for. And I couldn't leave them or their honor..."

"Unprotected" he said finishing her sentence.

Remus tightened his hold around Kate. "Care deeply for, huh?" Kate tried to pull away but he didn't relinquish his grip around her. "I care deeply for you as well, though things seem to be moving..."

Kate continued his thought and added, "Very quickly."

Remus smiled and nodded. "That would be the gist of it." He continued with a sad smile, "Though I wish I had half the courage you do."

Kate laughed, "You mean stupidity?"

Remus kissed Kate's forehead, "No, I mean courage." He then tilted Kate's head up and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. Kate tilted her head back down. She giggled and proceeded to nuzzle and nip at his neck causing Remus to let out a small moan. Kate pushed him back and grabbed his hand. She turned and started pulling him down the hall to her room. Remus blushed and gave her a perplexed look. Kate smiled, "I promise not to ravish you, but if you keep making me weak at the knees I'm afraid I'll wind up on the floor."

Remus gave her a roguish grin, "We can't have that." He said and then followed her into the bedroom and settled in next to her on the bed without further complaint.

Remus and Kate fell into a comfortable silence. Kate seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, and Remus was busy soaking up the details of the room. He shifted in the bed sinking deeper into the feather mattress and quilts. Kate smiled at him from the far edge of the bed, "Sorry, it's more of a nest than a proper bed."

He grinned at her, "Good, it is far more comfortable that way."

She laughed at him and then gave a small pout. "Well, I'm sorry to say this then."

"Yes?" Remus replied.

Kate grinned sheepishly, "I forgot to ward the front door so I need to get up." He rolled off the bed and followed Kate to the front room. She lifted her wand and was about to start setting the various wards and locking spells when they heard a light knock on the door.

Remus looked through the peephole onto the front porch. He turned to Kate, "I'll handle this." He opened the door and stepped outside closing the door behind him.

Snape was on the doorstep. "Lupin" he snarled.

Remus grimaced and said, "Severus".

Snape glared at the werewolf. "Let me in you miserable half-breed!"

Remus took a step forward so he was nose to nose with Snape, "Has Albus given you a letter yet?"

Snape snarled and spat out, "No! I don't have a letter from that old fool. If you think that harlot and her over zealous bodyguard cu.." He was cut off by the shear force of Remus's fist connecting with his jaw. Snape stumbled backwards down the stairs and landed a flight below with a resounding thud.

Remus let out a menacing, low growl at the potions master. "Come back when you have a letter or not at all. And if I hear you say another thing about any of the young ladies that live in this apartment, I will personally take it upon myself to finish the job Sirius started twenty years ago. You miserable, sniveling, little git! Now go back to England and do what you do best, or is Lucius busy tonight?" Remus turned on his heel and went back into the apartment slamming the door behind him.

Kate looked at the very enraged werewolf before her. "Is everything alright?"

Remus snorted and then looked at Kate. He gave her a wane smile "Yes, I just had to put something in its place."

Kate wrapped her arms around Remus, "Thank you."

He bowed his head and smiled into her neck as he whispered, "Don't mention it." Kate took his hand and pulled him back to the bedroom after setting the wards for the night.

Remus lounged on Kate's bed as she shut the door. Turning towards the bed, Kate started unbuttoning her jeans.

Remus flustered, "Kate! What are you doing?"

Kate laughed, "These aren't comfortable to sleep in." She continued as she finished pulling her pants off and started removing her bra from under her shirt. "I trust you, Remus."

Remus swallowed hard. "Awfully trusting aren't you?", he stammered as she moved towards the bed.

Kate giggled, "Yes." She then pushed Remus over so she could crawl into bed and under the covers. "Get comfortable." Kate raised her wand in her right hand mimicking a wizard's oath, "As I said before, I solemnly swear not to ravish you."

Remus kicked off his shoes and removed his shirt. "I see. So does that mean I can ravish you then?" he said with a twinkle in his eyes. Kate just yawned and curled deeper under the covers. "Is that a yes?" Remus asked hopefully.

Kate gave a sleepy sigh as Remus joined her under the blankets. "It's an 'I trust you'." She answered then kissed him on the cheek and placed her head on his chest.

Gathering her in his arms, Remus smiled to himself as Kate nodded off. "Good" was all he said as he flicked his wand turning off the lights.

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A few hours later, Paige woke suddenly with one thought screaming in her head. Did Kate take her wolfsbane? She scrambled out of bed and walked over to the door.

"Whatcha doin'?" Sirius mumbled behind her. Paige jumped, she'd forgotten he was in her room.

She willed her heart to slow down and responded, "I'm checking on Kate." Then walked into the hall.

She knocked softly on Kate's door so as not to rouse anyone else... no answer. She knocked a little louder.... still no answer. Paige bit her lip and opened the door. She walked in and whispered, "I'm sorry to wake you, Kate. Did you take your wolfsbane?" She walked forward and stubbed her toe on something. She hissed and almost cursed out loud. Merlin, it's dark in here!, she thought. She cautiously made her way over to the light and flipped it on. Paige was in no way ready for the sight that met her eyes. Kate, good, reliable, dependable Kate had a man in her bed, one whom she'd only known for two days. Paige stopped herself from laughing and watched as Kate sat up and rubbed her eyes.

Kate hissed at her, "Turn off the light!" Paige complied and couldn't help but giggle while Kate dragged her out into the hall.

Paige looked at her friend with eyes full of mirth. "Sorry to interrupt. I was just wondering if you two had remembered to take your potions tonight."

Kate gasped. "Damn, I forgot." She whispered.

Paige smirked as Kate ran down the hall and began warming the potion in the kitchen. Paige sighed and followed after her into the kitchen. "Having a bit too much fun, are we?"

Kate blushed and then glared at her friend. "We were just sleeping."

Paige shook her head. "I'll bet."

Kate lightly smacked her friend on the arm. "We just slept, honest."

Paige looked unconvinced. "Uh huh, well the next time you might want to save the little love pats for Remus. I hear werewolves like it rough."

Kate glared at Paige and quickly poured the potion into two coffee cups. "Oh grow up, Paige. My door wasn't warded, if anything had happened you would have heard something."

Paige turned red trying to contain her laughter and gasped out, "Yeah, two yips and a woof."

Kate rolled her eyes and headed down the hall, unwilling to encourage her friend. Paige followed and put her hands on her hips. "Oh come on! I KNOW you thought that was funny!", she said in an accusing tone.

Kate turned to Paige and stuck out her tongue. Paige smirked and said, "Be careful young lady, I don't know where that tongue has been." Then she walked into her room before Kate could respond.

Paige gratefully crawled back into her warm bed and Sirius's arms. He kissed her forehead. "Is everything alright?", he inquired.

Paige sighed contentedly and nodded. "Everything is fine, I just had to make sure Kate took her potion."

Sirius nodded then thought of Remus and started to get up but Paige pushed him back down. "Don't worry, he's all taken care of."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Paige giggled. "He's 'sleeping' in Kate's room." Sirius gave her a disbelieving look for a second and then let out a great barking laugh before Paige could stifle it with a kiss.

"Stop that! You'll wake Jack and Rose!" Sirius remembered himself and calmed down.

He suddenly got the urge to kiss Paige and pulled her up to his mouth. He brought his lips to hers and gave her a soft kiss which Paige returned. Sirius took this as a sign to continue and ran his fingers through her hair. Paige then ran her hands over his back and Sirius broke the kiss to move down her jaw onto her neck. Paige pulled away. "Sirius, I have to work tomorrow, with Lockhart of all people, I need to sleep."

Sirius nodded, disappointment showing on his face. Paige pouted underneath him and stroked his cheek. "You don't want me tired when I deal with Lockhart, do you? I need to be at my best."

Sirius winked and hugged her to him. He gave her his best smile and biggest puppy dog eyes.

Paige giggled and sighed. "I want to, too. How about we continue this tomorrow night, hmm? We can turn in early and take all the time we want."

Sirius smiled at her and forgot that they didn't have a silencing spell on the room anymore and yelled. "Yippee!"

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Kate sighed as Paige closed the door to her room. Kate entered her room and closed the door behind her. She set the potion down on her dresser and lit a couple of candles next to it.

She crossed to the bed and gently shook Remus. He simply rolled over and snuggled deeper into the bed. Kate sat down next to him and gently kissed him on the cheek. His eyes fluttered open and Kate smiled down at him. "Hello Sleeping Beauty, potion time."

Remus bolted straight up knocking Kate on her side. "Damn it! I forgot", he exclaimed.

She laughed pushing herself up and crossing to the dresser. "Not to worry." She returned with his potion and after handing it to him, she raised her cup. "Cheers" she whispered with a wink, right before taking a large gulp of the foul concoction. Remus laughed at the face she gave him.

Right on cue, they heard a bark of laughter from the room next door. Remus smiled "Looks like he thinks it is humorous as well." Kate laughed and they finished their potions. She placed the mugs on the dresser and blew out the candles before returning to bed.

Remus moved so she could climb in and quickly wrapped her in a warm embrace. He let out a contented sigh and started to settle back to sleep. He looked at Kate nestled in his arms "What was that about?", he asked as he nuzzled her neck.

Kate giggled "Paige came in to remind me about my potion." She gave a small yawn as she continued, "I guess she just told Sirius."

Again right on cue the couple heard Sirius exclaim "Yippee!!" from the next room.

Kate and Remus busted into gales of laughter. Through the tears that were forming in his eyes Remus exclaimed, "Remember Sirius, discretion is the better part of valor and gentlemen use silencing spells."

Just then Jack emerged from Rose's room and shouted "Ride'm Cowboy"

into the hallway. He then returned to Rose's room, slamming the door behind him.

Kate and Remus howled with laughter. In fact, Kate was laughing so hard she started to make whimpering noises.

Paige yelled from the other room, "Wow Remus!! I haven't heard Kate make those noises before." She laughed so hard at her comment, she fell off the bed dragging Sirius with her.

Sirius exclaimed, "Paige, I didn't know you were so strong!"

Kate stifled her laughter long enough to call to Paige, "Remember two yips and a woof!"

Paige yelled back, "No Kate! That was two yips and a wolf. Or should that be two wolves and a yip?" She then climbed back into bed with Sirius.

Kate was laughing so hard she could hardly breathe. An evil gleam appeared in Remus's eyes and he began to tickle Kate without mercy. As Kate tried to push Remus off, she exclaimed, "Gods Remus!" between gasps for air.

Sirius yelled at the wall between barks of laughter "Remember Remus, a gentleman always lets the lady come first."

Remus paused for a moment. "Don't you mean go, Sirius?"

Sirius barked out laughter yet again. "Not if you are doing right."

In an attempt to hide his embarrassment, Remus buried his face into the pillows.

Kate on the other hand was not backing down. "Okay Sirius, I will just ask Paige how much of a gentleman you were in the morning." She nuzzled closer to Remus.

Paige replied from the other room, "Just so you know Kate, I spiked the tea with Viagra."

Sirius smiled at Paige and yelled "Silencio!" With that done, he pulled Paige close and smirked. "What's Viagra?", he asked.

Paige giggled again and bit her lip. "Um, it's sort of an aphrodisiac used by muggles. Basically it makes your blood pump really fast which causes men to get erections."

Sirius's mouth fell open and then curled into a smile. "You didn't!"

Paige grinned. "No, I didn't. Kate doesn't know that, though."

Sirius chuckled softly and said in a low voice, "You are positively evil some times, you know that?" He started nibbling on her ear and Paige sighed.

"Yes I am, but only to my friends and most trusted confidants." She said. Paige turned around so that she was facing away from him and stroked his hand. "Sirius, who is James? I've heard you talk about him but you haven't told me who he is."

Sirius sighed heavily and thought for a minute before replying. "He was my best friend in all the world, my brother. Fifteen years ago, Voldemort murdered him and his wife, Lily. Their son is my godson, Harry."

Paige sobered and nodded. "Oh, I don't want to bring up bad memories. You don't have to talk about it any more if you don't want to."

Sirius cringed, he had to tell her about Azkaban sometime and now seemed as good as any. He didn't want to loose her, though. He wanted to be selfish and ignore the issue completely. His conscience got the better of him and he closed his eyes, afraid of her reaction and said, "Paige, I've got to tell you something. Before I do, just know that I'm innocent and that I would never do anything like this, alright?" Paige nodded. "I was sent to Azkaban for their murders." Paige sat up and started to pull away and Sirius added, "I didn't do it! I was framed."

Paige relaxed a bit, but still kept a guarded look on her face. "Why do they think you did it and how on earth did you escape?"

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair. "I was to be their secret keeper and I convinced James to change to Peter. No one knew about the switch except for me, Peter and James so it made perfect sense to everyone else that I was the one who did it."

Paige noticed how sorrowful he looked and decided to talk to Remus about it later rather than bring it up again for Sirius. "Oh, I'm sorry Sirius. I didn't mean to bring up horrible memories for you. You don't have to tell me any more, ok?" She snuggled up next to him again and hugged him, making Sirius feel completely happy and content.

"It's just as well, I wanted to tell you about that anyway. I wasn't sure how to bring it up, though. As Order members, you three have a right to know and now you know how important it is for me to keep a low profile."

Paige nodded and smiled up at him. "Yeah, I'll tell you to go down whenever a cop walks by."

Sirius looked at her in confusion. "Don't you mean get down?"

Paige smiled wickedly and shook her head. "No, I definitely mean go down."

Understanding dawned on Sirius and he barked out a laugh. "By all means love, tell me that any time. Now, on to previous business, I wanted to tell you about Azkaban before. I really did, but it's hard to say something like that when it could mean the end of such a perfect friendship."

Paige bit her lip pensively and asked, "Friendship? You only consider me a friend?"

Sirius looked into her eyes, "Yes. I consider you a friend. No relationship, romantic or otherwise, can be healthy without a friendship being involved."

Paige closed her eyes and yawned. "That's a nice way to think. In that case, I'm happy to consider you a friend."

Sirius smiled and stroked her hair, marveling in it's softness. Soon enough he heard her breath getting deeper and more rhythmical as she drifted off to sleep. He laughed softly at the way the woman in his arms responded to him and the way he responded back. If only James were around to see Sirius Black getting pushed around by a woman and then sleeping with her later that night, he'd laugh.

Not for the first time and certainly not for the last, Sirius fell asleep mourning the loss of the dearest friend he could ever hope for.

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After a few minutes of silence from the other room, Remus muttered "Silencio", and pulled Kate closer. "So what is Viagra?", he asked nonchalantly as he drew lazy circles on her arm.

"It is an aphrodisiac used by muggles", she replied. Remus's body stiffened. "Don't worry yourself, it would have taken effect and worn off by now." she added.

He relaxed and gently kissed the tip of her ear. "So what does it do?"

Kate gave a nervous laugh as her mind finally acknowledged that Remus had kept her from lying against his lower body most of the night. "It increases blood pressure and causes an erection." She stammered on, "It doesn't have too high of an impact on desire, it is mainly used to enable or enhance performance."

Half listening, he ran his finger tips down Kate's neck and traced her collar bones. "No need to worry about that", he mumbled to himself as he began to place feathery kisses down her neck following the trail his finger tips had blazed moments before. Much to Kate's dismay, his sensual topography exercise screeched to a complete stop as his brain finally fully absorbed the effect of Viagra and his attention was drawn to an extreme tightness in his trousers.

Kate gave him a shy smile. "Would you rather sleep in the guest room?"

Remus thought for a moment. "No." He finally answered and then blurted out. "Though I should probably warn you that I have been having to concentrate on Albus Dumbledore naked on a cold day just to keep some sense of control since Rose vanished your clothes." Kate burst out in a fit of giggles causing feign indignation. "So what is so funny about that, Miss Gardener?"

Kate nuzzled his chest and placed a kiss over his heart. "It's not too funny actually. I'm just glad I'm not the only fighting to maintain control of baser instincts." She paused for a moment. "Good night, Remus."

Remus closed his eyes. "Good night, Kate."

A/N: Good night, John boy. Clears throat I mean we have reached the conclusion of the ever exciting chapter 5. Thank you for taking the time to read the adventures of Remus and Sirius in fabulous Las Vegas.

Please stay tuned for the next titillating and exotic installment...Phone rings....The lawyer says it's not quite titillating and exotic but it is better than getting a data beam in the squigglyspooch. And it will feature many things, such as eruptors, the mysterious organization known as "la prima generazione", and clues as to the origin of Jack.

As always, thank you to our reviewers (past, present and future), we appreciate the feedback. Some of us live for all of it, others of us live for the good stuff, while still others of us are just happy the guys in the white coats haven't shown up yet.

And thank you to our various forms of inspiration including Eddie Izzard, Potter Puppet Pals, , the Young Ones, Benny Hill, Monty Python, the Bagenders, Sponge Bob Square Pants, Invader Zim, and many others. Please don't sue. Prof. Pendragon.