Stinkbomb, Kaiba?

It was to be a glorious pranking, one unmatched by any other in the history of Domino, daringly targeting the off-limits and imposing Kaiba mansion. Except that Joey and Téa got lost inside the unnecessarily large house.

Part Three of Four – Sneaking Out… or not

"This is the stupidest idea ever," Téa grumbled.

She wished Joey were here to defend himself, because it was awfully depressing to be stuck in the appliance repairing crawl space by herself. She was dragging herself across the space by her fingers, because the ceiling was all of two feet high. Her tiny penlight was hardly adequate for what she was trying to find: the control panel for the security system.

"A timer?" she questioned to herself, trying to follow the wires. The timer was connected to a panel neatly labeled 'Christmas lights'. Right now, every switch on the board was dark. Of course; it wasn't in season. Kaiba probably sent someone up here every December to reconnect the main controls and set up the timer so the Christmas lights came on every night; but for now, it wasn't in use.

Sighing, she painstakingly made her way across the ply boards to the other side of the crawl space; this half was a dud, mostly water pipes. She bypassed several big appliances: 'Central Air Cooling System', 'Furnace', 'Dehumidifier'. Téa scurried over to a promising-looking switchboard, but it was merely labeled 'Sprinkler System'.

"Sprinklers?" she whispered under her breath. "Oh. In case of fire. They have those at school, but I've never heard of a house having its own sprinkler system." She took another look at it. "And what a complicated one." It was divided into four levels, for each story of the house, and each individual room was labeled. Téa shook her head, marveling at the lifestyle the Kaibas lived. She much preferred her simple split-level; she was quite comfortable there with her parents. "We make do with a plain old fire extinguisher," she giggled, then moved on.

"Ah-ha!" she said triumphantly, aiming the penlight at the large box in the corner. 'Security cameras' was etched into the metal plating. "Perfect," she whispered.

Téa had been paying close attention to Joey's explanation, though she might not have appeared to at the time. She figured, if nothing else, this would be a good test for her: Reasoning that it was good to know a little bit of everything, and that technology was especially important in this age, she'd signed up for a computer class at school this semester. Now she approached the box with trepidation, noticing that Joey had been right. It was very clearly labeled.

"So just switch the dates around, huh?" she mumbled. Actually, she had to give credit to Joey – or rather, Bakura. It was much smarter than trying to erase the feed, especially since it was digital. Digital feed wasn't as simple as stealing a tape, and anything she did to crash the computer Seto Kaiba could undo. But if they changed the dates… he would probably never even think to check, say, February 20, 2003.

Téa flicked the main switch, diverting the power from the control room to the box she was currently crouched over. Unless the security guards in the control room were actually messing with the cameras – and there was no reason for them to be – they wouldn't notice a thing. She was willing to bet that they didn't actually stare at the live video (and a lucky thing, too), but checked to make sure the cameras were working properly and waited for alarms to be triggered. She winced at the memory.

It was relatively simple to change the dates. She entered the hard drive of the security system; since she was working from the main terminal, it allowed her to switch the current date's video feed with February 20, 2003; she picked the date because they were all in Duelist Kingdom at the time and she knew the house would be deserted. She watched the clock; as it ticked by the seconds, it automatically switched the tapes. She rewound it to four in the morning, when she and Joey had been spray-painting the windows: Nothing.

"Excellent," Téa breathed, quite proud of herself. She had a tense moment when she went to save the changes: the system needed identification. She froze, until she remembered that her mother kept all the vital information about the furnace tacked up on the wall next to that appliance. Although Kaiba would probably be more careful, she was willing to bet that his employees sometimes took shortcuts. Sure enough, she found a laminated card tucked under the right corner of the metal box. She quickly entered the user name and the password, and heaved a sigh of relief when the green light flashed. She transferred power back to the control room, and flicked off the switch. The quiet hum died down.

Téa contemplated taking the card, just in case she wanted to hack into Kaiba's security system again, but in the end decided to leave it where it was. The last thing she needed was for someone to notice and figure out what happened. She checked to make sure she hadn't left too much of a trail, but the latex gloves were still on and the ground was free of dust, so there were no tracks. She'd done a clean job of it.

For the first time that night, she felt a sense of victory. She'd done something – she had results. Maybe this was the kind of elation Joey felt when he was lobbing a water balloon at someone, though she hoped to God that he wasn't planning on soaking Kaiba tonight. Although, she had to admit, a sopping wet Seto Kaiba would be pretty amusing.

Téa paused. Her eyes went from the timer still attached to the Christmas display, to the switchboard labeled 'Sprinkler System'. Timer… sprinklers. Timers… sprinklers.

"Oh, I couldn't," she whispered to herself. "I shouldn't…"

But oh, how tempting. And wasn't this what they came here to do? Wasn't that Joey's big mission: Prank Seto Kaiba?

"But it might ruin all of his computer equipment…" she worried.

And that was why there were all those different switches. So she could keep the water out of the offices and just in the hallways. A grin slowly spread over her face.

It was very, very simple to do. Her computer teacher would be proud of her. And so would Joey.

Joey hummed to himself as he slipped out of Kaiba's bathroom. Quietly, of course; a few minutes ago, some security guard had come around and checked all the rooms. He didn't know why; he heard Mokuba's name being mentioned. Another elderly lady had been talking. He'd heard a door open and shut; by the sound of it, it was Mokuba's bedroom. Luckily, that was the only room in this corridor checked; the security guard seemed to think Seto Kaiba's chambers were off-limits.

He hoisted the backpack again. He still had a few tricks he wanted to set up, but it was getting pretty late now. The clock in the bathroom said 5:13. He needed to find Téa pretty soon. They also needed to change those security tapes. He bit his lip; he hoped it would be as easy as he thought. On the one hand, Joey would dearly love to take credit for all this; on the other hand, he didn't want to be killed by an enraged Seto Kaiba at such a tender age.

Anyway. "I wonder where the library is?" he mused aloud. He was going to guess second floor, just because he'd seen a bit of the first and third floors already. Finding the staircase, he quickly slipped down. It took a bit of wandering, but eventually he came across a set of huge double-doors. They were heavier than he expected, and he tugged sharply, but eventually slid through the narrow opening.

Upon being confronted with the rows and rows of books, Joey snorted. "I wonder how many of these he's actually read," he said disparagingly. There were too many of them; this wasn't going to be as funny as he'd hoped. Nevertheless, he found a shelf that looked the most frequently perused, and quickly stripped the books of their jackets, randomly slipping them back on. "Mix-n-match," he grinned. "This'll drive Mr. Obsessive-Compulsive insane."

Joey headed downstairs again, finding himself by the main entrance. He had no intention of leaving, of course. Actually, he wanted to find the kitchens. But as he turned, something caught his eye. Mokuba's backpack and Seto's briefcase were sitting side-by-side next to the front door, ready to be brought to school the next day.

"Oh, perfect," he grinned. "I didn't think I'd get this opportunity." Kneeling down, he quickly unlatched the briefcase. Opening up his backpack, he pulled out two of Serenity's old rag dolls and plopped them on top of the notebooks, latching the briefcase again and scurrying away with a smirk.

Joey found the kitchens and, after opening up a few of the cabinets, found the salt. He grabbed the small container of sugar sitting on the kitchen table, probably used to sprinkle on cereal, and, transferring that to the main sugar bag, refilled the table sugar with salt. He was just scanning the room, looking for something else to do, when the light in the hallway flicked on.

He stared at it in horror for a moment, before desperately looking for a place to hide. He was tempted to dive into the oven, but didn't quite have the nerve after all the creepy stories he'd heard about that. He would rather not be roasted alive, thank you very much. A second before the door to the kitchen swung open, Joey jumped into the pantry and closed the sliding doors.

A woman shuffled in, wearing a black dress with a white apron that just screamed 'maid'. She yawned, looking tired; she wasn't much older than Joey's mom, but her hair had a lot more gray. She headed over to the coffee pot, and busied herself preparing a brew. Luckily for Joey, all the ingredients seemed to be kept in the cupboard above the coffee pot, and she didn't approach the pantry.

He shifted, hoping his foot wouldn't fall asleep. It smelled nice in here. Lots of bread, and crackers, and… were those chocolate chip cookies?? He turned his head and sniffed – yes! Right behind his right shoulder. His hand sneaked up and grabbed the package, trying not to make any noise as he unwrapped the crinkly paper. He stuffed a cookie in his mouth, relaxing at the chocolaty goodness. These were really good cookies – not too dry and crumbly. He bet they were gourmet. He also bet that Seto Kaiba didn't actually eat them (that boy did not know how to live).

The maid shuffled out again. Knowing she would be back, Joey dashed from the closet, still clutching onto the precious cookies. No one would ever miss them. He was about to leave by the back doorway when his gaze fell on the brewing pot of coffee… this was too good to pass up. Heading back to the pantry, he rummaged around until he found… Vinegar. This should do well.

A few drops, put the lid back on, and scat. Joey would have patted himself on the back if he could.

Téa made it down safely from the crawl-space and crept down one floor. The third floor was where she lost Joey; she could only hope he would still be there. She didn't dare call out: the house was beginning to come to life. She could hear a shower start somewhere on the first floor. Maybe it was the servants who stayed here; maybe it was one of the Kaibas. Either way, it was time to leave!

"Oh- come on…" she groaned. She was in an unfamiliar hallway; there were only four doors. Téa stood next to an unmarked one and peered ahead, wondering if she should just turn back. There were signs on the rest of the doors – she squinted to read… 'Mokuba's Bedroom'.

"Oh hell," she whispered. This was definitely not the wing she wanted to be in. She was about to turn around and head for the staircase when the knob started turning.

Mokuba's bedroom door was opening, and she acted fast. She threw open the unmarked door she was standing beside and flung herself in, closing it quickly behind her.

"Big brother?" she heard Mokuba whisper from outside. She crossed her fingers, hoping he wouldn't follow her in, but she heard him pad away. Téa breathed a sigh of relief – and tensed up again the second she looked around.

How terrific – she was in Seto Kaiba's personal bathroom. It was bigger than her bedroom; there was a huge glass shower at one end, and a large, gleaming sink at the other. "What, no Jacuzzi?" she mumbled. Honestly, if she had a bathroom this inordinately gigantic, she would at least put in a Jacuzzi. What did Kaiba do to relax?

Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep.

Téa jumped a mile, and her heart leapt into her throat. She nearly screamed, before she caught hold of herself. It was just the alarm going off, telling Kaiba to wake up – no one knew she was in there –

Telling Kaiba to wake up??

A dull pounding sound, and the beeping stopped. She heard cloth rustling, and knew all too well that Kaiba was standing up, stretching… now that he was out of bed, he'd head right for the shower…

She glanced around frantically – she couldn't go outside yet; what if Mokuba was still there? What if he heard her? Making a desperate decision (and a very stupid one at that), Téa lunged for the linen closet right next to the shower. Her socks skidded on the highly polished floor, but she caught her balance and slipped into the closet. She jerked the sliding door closed and backed up as far as she could – maybe a good three inches. Towels pressed at her back. The bathroom light flicked on, and she gulped, hoping Kaiba couldn't hear her heart pounding.

The little bit of light that flooded into the closet illuminated the object hanging right in front of her face – his bathrobe.

His bathrobe…

His bathrobe?

The bathrobe that he would need to wear.

If there had been room, Téa would have knelt and said her final words right then and there.

"Okay. I am officially trapped."

By now, the bottom floor was positively bustling with people. Security guards, maids, a cook… Joey was officially trapped, and officially dead. He'd started sweating. "And everything was going so well," he moaned. "Where's Téa, anyway?" He'd been thrilled when she lost the bet and he could drag her around – she was supposed to be the one to get him out of messy situations like these. She was smart like that. But he'd gotten lost… maybe she had too… "Why is this damn house so big?"

Okay. Think. He obviously needed backup. Bakura would be nice to have around – after all, his darker half was a professional thief – but Joey had no idea what his number was and no way of contacting him. Tristan was too much like Joey to be of any use. That left Yugi.

"Good old Yugi," Joey said to himself, feeling reassured at the thought of his helpful best friend. "He'll know what to do." Now, to find a phone. He was on the second floor at the moment, the least-explored floor, except for the fourth. He sidled down the hallway, peeking carefully into rooms, until he found what looked like Mokuba's study area. It was a cute room, littered with beanbag chairs and random notebooks scattered across the ground. There was a math book open on the floor, but pushed away from the closest chair.

And there was a telephone on the desk.

"Victory!" Joey dashed forward, snatching up the receiver. Listening, and hearing, a dial tone, he began to punch in Yugi's home phone number, hoping his little buddy was up by now…

Riiiiing… riiiiing… riiiiing…

"Hi, you've reached the Game Shop!" Yugi's bright voice came on. Answering machine – damn! "If you'd like to leave a message about the store, press 1. If you're trying to reach Solomon Moto, press 2. If you're trying to reach me, Yugi Moto, press 3. Thank you!"

Joey pressed 3 quickly, waited impatiently for the beep, then started yelling into the receiver. "YUGI! If you can hear me, PICK UP! I'm stranded at KAIBA'S mansion with Téa – Téa's lost somewhere – we need help! Helloooo? YUGI! Wake UP! Come on, hurry it up, I NEED YOU! Come O-"

"Joey?" Yugi's sleepy voice interrupted. "Is that you?"

"Why, who else would it be?" he grinned.

"I didn't know you could get up this early," the boy mumbled on the other end. "What's wrong?"

"Didn't you hear my message?"

"No, just someone yelling. So what's up?"

"Um… see, the thing is…" Joey's sheepish explanation was interrupted by a fast series of beeps. "Huh?" he wondered for a split second, before he realized what was going on. "Yugi! Hang up!" he yelped.

"What?" came the puzzled reply.

"Hello?" came a new voice to the conversation, sounding just as confused.

Mokuba was up long before his alarm – even before his older brother usually was, though he had seen Seto disappear into the bathroom as Mokuba exited his bedroom a few minutes after he awoke. I must have been sleepwalking, he thought. He always woke up early when he'd been sleepwalking.

He didn't want to go downstairs quite yet – he wasn't in the mood for breakfast this early, and he didn't want to disturb any of the workers. So he wandered into Seto's office, and flopped down heavily on the couch. "Bored," he mumbled. This afternoon would be pretty boring too. Wednesdays, he had no clubs after school, and Seto had a meeting today. Maybe he'd go hang out with friends… "I know!" he said, sitting up and smiling brightly. "I'll go over to the Game Shop after school today."

He wasn't sure if it would be Yugi or his grandpa attending the store, though. Glancing at the clock, he decided it wasn't too early to call. A shopkeeper was up by 5:45, right?!

He scooped up the phone and punched in Yugi's phone number without listening for a dial tone. When he placed the receiver to his ear, however…

"-ugi! Hang up!" someone yelped.

"What?" He was pretty sure that was Yugi's voice.

"Hello?" he asked, unsure. "May I speak to Yugi, please?"

"Mokuba? Is that you?" Yugi asked.

"Yeah," he said, relieved. "I was just wondering-"

"What are you doing at Joey's house?"

He actually took the phone away from his ear in order to stare at it bizarrely. "What am I doing where?"

"Ha! Ha!" Was that Joey, giving that weird forced laugh? "Yugi, you're such a joker!"

"Uh, Joey? Is that you? What are you doing on this line?" Mokuba asked, wishing he'd just waited until after school for this.

"Uh… see, we're on three-way phone calls!" Joey said, giving another weird laugh. "Yugi, at his house… you, at your house… and me, at my house."

"…um…"

"So, Mokuba," Joey said quickly, cutting off Yugi. "You called Yugi, right? What did you want?"

Mokuba frowned at the phone. Joey was acting even stranger than normal. His voice was strained and kept cracking; he sounded awfully stressed out about something. "Uh, I just wanted to talk to Yugi. To see if he was going to be at the Game Shop this afternoon."

"Yes, I will be," Yugi said, still confused. "Joey, I don't think I have three-way calli-"

"Well, now that that's settled!" Joey interrupted loudly. "We can all hang up! I know Yugi said that he had to get ready… and I'm sure Mokuba does too… so why don't we all hang up?"

"Um, all right," Yugi said hesitantly. "Bye, Mokuba. Joey, can we talk about this in school? I have a lot of quest-"

"Yep, sure, bye guys!" Joey said hastily.

"Bye," Mokuba said, before clicking the button to 'off' and dropping the phone into his lap. "Whatever," he muttered. Sometimes he could see where Seto was coming from, making fun of them so much…

Joey waited until he was sure both Mokuba and Yugi had hung up before shoving the phone away and dropping his head in his hands. "Close call," he muttered. Good thing he'd handled it so smoothly.