DIS: I know that the next one was going to have to do with Kaiba, but I came up with this one and I absolutely had to write it down before it was lost in the depths of my mind. (sweat drop) So please read below and enjoy!

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Title: How to play video games

Genre: Humor

Rating: (Undetermined)

Summary: Yuugi and Ryou are teaching Yami how to play video and computer games, but unfortunately, he's not used to the technology of today's world. Pure humor!

Disclaimer: I own everything! MWAHAHAHAHA! (gets slapped by a lawyer) Okay, okay! Everything but YuGiOh! (gets slapped again) And any video or computer game...(rubs head, but gets slapped) WHAT NOW? (glares at lawyers)

Notes/Warnings: Pure humor; the third fic to the 'How to...' Trilogy!

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"Hello, Ryou!" Yuugi chirped happily to his friend, grinning broadly. "I hope you don't mind coming and helping me with this. You know how Yami gets when he learns new things."

"Yes, well, at least it's not as bad as Bakura..." Ryou muttered. "I've been spending all my money on getting new computers, TV's, and microwaves!"

"(o.o) Oh dear," was all Yuugi said, then he brightened. "Come on! I can't wait to show Yami how to play the Play Station, especially Dark Stone. It's my favorite game, as you very well know."

"Um, actually, chap, I didn't know that."

"Really? I sent an email to everyone I know to tell them that I love Dark Stone!"

"(o.o) I guess I missed the memo..."

"Must have. Anyway! Let's go, shall we?"

"Of course."

When they entered the room, Ryou's eyes went wide.

"Yami, what are you...?" Yami glanced at him, blinking.

"Hm?" (A/N: I think I used the name Atemu in the last fic, but, uh, Yami is the same person.) "What do you mean?" Yami had sandbags all around him and had camouflage clothes and paint on him. He was gripping a teddy bear tightly and water balloons, along with his army helmet.

"I told you..." Yuugi muttered to him. Ryou just nodded mutely, staring at Yami in bewilderment.

"Shall we, gentleman?" Yami was beaming at them, waving his teddy bear's paw at them.

"I...Suppose so." Ryou sat down and switched the Play Station on while Yami watched. "This," Ryou gestured at the controller, "is the controller. You move your person around with this and also choose things, like, um, talk to people or buy something."

"Buy something? Yami burst out, excited. "How much is it?"

"Um...Normally around fifty or a hundred dollars."

"I DON'T HAVE THAT MONEY!"

"Oh, you will. You start out with some money on this game."

"But on others you do not?"

"No," Ryou replied and waited while the game loaded.

ROOOOOOOOOOOARRRRRRRRR!

"AUGH! YUUGI, HELP! IT'S TRYING TO GET MY SOUL! AWWWWW!" Yami collapsed over the sandbags, clutching his heat. "Yuugi...I want you to know...That you were always my best friend. Take care of Mr. Popcorn for me..." Yami held his teddy bear – Mr. Popcorn – out to him. Yuugi sighed.

"Yami, you're still alive."

Pause.

"Why, you're right, I am!" Yami sat up, grinning from ear to ear. "You here that, Mr. Popcorn, we're alive!" Ryou blinked rapidly, then, shaking his head turned back to the game.

"Since we're starting you off new, we go to New Game." Ryou pressed the X button and it came to a new screen. Yami jumped a bit, but said nothing. "Then we go 'Recruit Heroes. What name do want your hero to be and which person? I recommend you make at least two heroes."

"All right..."

"So, Yami? You can choose from Warrior, Amazon, Wizard, Sorceress, Assassin, Thief, Monk, or Priestess."

"There's no Pharaoh?"

"(-.-) No."

"Um...Warrior then!"

"All right. What should his name be?"

"Yami."

"(o.o) Anything else?"

"No, name him Yami, slave! NOW!"

"(OO) Fine." After he did that, Ryou said, "Anyone else?"

"Thief – no, Assassin! He's ugly – just like Bakura! HAHAHAHAHA!"

(oO)

"So his name is going to be Bakura obviously..." Ryou muttered. "Okay, so which do you want to do first?"

"Yami, me, obviously!" Yami rolled his eyes. Ryou sighed and clicked on 'Begin New Quest'. They waited while it loaded and then Ryou gave the controller to Yami, who blinked.

"The X button is to talk to people, the arrow buttons are to move your person."

"Right."

Silence.

Whirr, whirr, whirr, whirr –

"Yami, you're going in circles." Ryou informed him while Yuugi's eyes followed the character on the screen

"No, I'm not."

"Actually, you are, yami," Yuugi told him, blinking rapidly, feeling dizzy.

"I am not!"

"You are too." Ryou and Yuugi informed him.

Whirr, whirr, whirr (click)

"WHA – !" Yami's eyes widened as a townsfolk woman started to talk to him. "This lady is FAT!"

(sweat drop)

"Yami, she's trying to tell you the story of the dark stone and – YAMI!"

"What?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"What does it look like?" Having spoken with the "fat lady", Yami was repeatedly running into her with his character and moving in her way so she couldn't go anywhere. The two looked at each other, then they sighed.

"Do you wanna try another game, Yami?"

"Yes, this one bores me."

They changed game sets and Yami watched, holding Mr. Popcorn.

"This is the controller," Ryou said once again, pointing to the controller. "To move you use this analog stick. And to talk to someone you use the red A button. Now..." Ryou shoved the start button upwards and Zelda came on minutes later. "We might as well start on your game, huh, Yuugi?"

"Yeah, cause it's so boring at the beginning."

"SURE, LEAVE ME OUT OF THE CONVERSATION!" Yami roared, deeply offended. Both blinked. Ryou handed the controller over to Yami, who pressed B on accident and he climbed on the horse in front of him. "Ooooh!" Yami grinned and started towards wherever, then he ended up in Karikiko (Is that even the right name?) Village. Yami pressed B again – on accident – and started to walk towards the chicken pen. He already had his sword out from pressing B. "Chicken? I wonder..." Yami then proceeded to start and slice the chickens. All of a sudden, the chickens started to attack him. "AWW! THE REVENGE OF THE CHICK-A-DEES!" Abruptly a chicken sprung into the TV and Ryou yelped, along with Yami.

"That's never happened before..." Yuugi said thoughtfully as the scene changed to the one off The Ring and the chicken climbed out of the well.

(OO)

"Eep, Mr. Popcorn!" The lights went out with only the TV going. The chicken was panting, out of the TV. "TO HELL WITH YOUUUUUUUUUU! ARRRRRRRRRGHHH!" Yami sent the TV, the Nintendo 64 and the wall of the house – along with the chicken – to the Shadow Realm.

Silence.

They all stared out at the streets, hearing sirens.

"Um...What now?" Yuugi asked uncertainly.

"I think we should run, mate. That sounds like the police."

(OO)

And so they ran.

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DIS: I know, not all that funny, but I had to get it out of my system. Please review and tell me how it was! Adieu!