Disclaimers:

Prof. Pendragon: Greetings and salutations, gentle readers. Thank you for reading our story.

Rosi Padfoot: (Starts pushing Prof. Pendragon) Bother, bother, bother, bother...

Prof. Pendragon: (rolls eyes) Alrighty then, as I was saying, all this gestures with a dramatic sweep of her arm belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Rosi Padfoot: What?? The computer?

Prof. Pendragon: No, not the computer. The characters of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin belong to J.K. Rowling. She also owns the Wizarding world featured in Harry Potter and 1/15 of Portugal. As always, we thank her and beg that she and Time Warner not smite us with their litigation dementors.

Warning: This chapter features a description of mild addiction. Remember kids, friends don't let friends play hide the Fesenjan (stops to listening to the dozens of back button selections and shrugs) I sort of expected that. Anyway for those still with us, on with the story and we will see you at the end, where the Jello Muppet will respond to our reviews, your questions, and a rubber duck abduction report.

Chapter Nine: They Kicked Me Out of Scouts for Eating a Brownie.

5:00 AM PST

Jack was back to his normal self the next morning, well normal for Jack anyway. He was turning the kitchen upside down in search of Fesenjan. When he had called Kate the night before, she had told him that she had made it for dinner. And Kate always made extra, so he now searched for his treasure. It called to him like a siren's song, Jack, Jack come delight in my pomegranatey goodness.

After his third time through the fridge, he slammed the door. Straightening his vest, he gathered himself, took a deep relaxing breath, and proceeded to charge down the hallway.

He first tried Kate's room but it was locked and warded as was Paige's room. He knew Rose was in San Francisco on business so there was no use searching her room. He slumped against the wall and thought, If I were filled with pomegrantey goodness where would I hide, or more precisely where would someone hide me? And who would that someone be? And why would that someone not know that pomegrantey goodness was meant to be shared and not horded? Pomegrantey goodness is a gift, a gift from Pomona herself.

Jack shifted against the wall and moved toward the guestroom. The door wasn't locked or warded. He burst through the door, garnishing his pistol and frantically looking about the room. The beds were empty, he moved further into the room and tripped over the prone form of Sirius Black. "Bloody Hell", Jack cried as he came crashing down over the animagus.

Sirius bolted upright and looked at the pirate strewn across his lap. "There are nicer ways to wake someone up, Gerry. And just for your information you are looking to the wrong wizard for that sort of fun."

Jack jumped up and staggered a bit. "First off mate, it's Jack. Second, I was just looking for Fesenjan. And finally, who sleeps on the floor?"

Sirius gave him an amused look. "You were looking for Fesenjan in my lap?"

Jack rolled his eyes and lifted his hands in a placating gesture. "Mate I don't swing that way. I just want the pomegrantey goodness, now where is it?" He turned and started rifling through the dresser.

Sirius let out a short laugh. "So I won't let you look in my drawers so you're going to look through my drawers?"

Jack snorted. "Listen, we all have cooking duty. Rose is passable, Paige is mainly based on her ability to speed dial, and Kate is" he paused not wanting to make his friend sound too attractive to the cur that was probably hiding his Fesenjan "Kate only makes Fesenjan for company or at holidays, so if I don't get my pomegrantey goodness now I won't get any for another six weeks. Now where is it?"

Sirius shrugged, "It's gone."

Jack fell to his knees and let out a high pitched keening sound. "No!!! But why is all the Fesenjan gone? Why?"

After blinking a few times and shaking his head, the deranged pirate was still in his bedroom. Sirius looked at the clock and sighed. "Do you know what time it is?"

Jack paused. "It's 5:30 and the Fesenjan is still gone. No walnuts. No pomegrantey goodness. All gone. But why? Why is all Fesenjan gone? Why the Fesenjan?" he wailed.

Sirius was not amused and debated throwing Jack out by force but yesterday's display made him pause. Instead, he apparated into Paige's room. She stirred in her sleep at the popping sound that proceeded him. Sirius hesitated before lightly shaking her shoulder. Paige's eyes fluttered open and she looked at him questioningly.

Sirius whispered, "Sorry Paige, but Jack is in my room going on about Fesenjan and won't leave."

Paige rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. "Fucking psycho pirate." she muttered. "Fine come in bed with me. He's not stupid enough to come in her uninvited." Sirius accepted her invitation and went back to sleep.

10: 00 AM PST

Paige rolled over and yawned. She opened her eyes to see that she was face to face with a sleeping Sirius. She was confused and stared at her bedmate willing him to wake up. When that didn't work, she shook him soundly. "Wake up, Sirius."

Sirius grunted in response and rolled over. Paige scowled and shook him harder. He stirred but didn't wake. Paige sighed in frustration, "Sirius, wake up the dementors are here."

He shifted in the bed, "Oh come on James, five more minutes."

Paige glowered at Sirius. "I am not James, and you have to wake up now! Now wake up!!" she yelled.

Sirius awoke dazed and confused. "I didn't do it!" he cried.

Paige rolled her eyes. "Sirius, is there a reason why you are in my bed?"

He sat up. "To paraphrase you, the fucking psycho pirate isn't stupid enough to come in here uninvited."

Paige blinked. "And you are?"

Sirius frowned. "You invited me."

Paige furrowed her brow. "When did I do that?"

Sirius let out a shot laugh. "About 5:30 this morning?"

She thought for a moment. "I vaguely remember that."

Sirius arose from the bed. "Well, that's good because after wrestling with you last night, I'd hate to tangle with you in a fight."

Paige gave him a smug smile. "That's because cats are superior to dogs." she said airly.

"So you think." he scoffed in response. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go knock up Kate." he said as he ducked out the door.

Sirius knocked on Kate's door and a grinning Remus opened it. "Good morning, Sirius."

The animagus smiled evilly "Knocked you up."

Remus laughed, "So you did. If it's a boy, I'll be sure to name it after you."

"I'll hold you to that." Sirius replied and laughing he went to the kitchen to get something to eat.

He found Jack sound asleep on the kitchen floor. Sirius stifled his laughter and went to get Kate and Paige. The three returned to the kitchen and gazed at the sleeping pirate.

Kate kneeled next to Jack, and gently shook him awake. He awoke with a start. "Fesenjan!!" he cried.

Kate tried not to giggle. "Jack, why don't you go to bed?"

Jack hugged Kate, "Oh Katie, my sweet angel. You are like a sister to me. Tell me, tell me where the Fesenjan is?"

Kate smoothed down Jack's hair. "I don't know, Jack." she said in a gentle mothering voice.

Jack pushed past Kate and stood up. He advanced on the wizard. "Where is the Fesenjan?" he demanded.

Paige stepped between Jack and Sirius. "Jack, go to bed."

"But Paige," he simpered. "The Fesenjan is gone and Kate won't make it for another six weeks."

She snorted, "Then show up for dinner. Now go to bed." At this, Jack hung his head and went to his room.

Paige looked at Kate and Sirius. "Well, we are getting a late start so why don't we catch breakfast on the road?"

Kate nodded "I'll meet you in the living room, Sirius." And she returned to her room. Paige and Sirius headed down the hall after her and went to their respective rooms.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius found Remus changing into the more professional clothes Paige had purchased for him. "Looking to make a good impression?" Sirius asked.

Remus straightened his tie. "Not really, but these are supposedly respectable folk so I thought I might look the part at least." he said with a grim smile. He looked over his warn teaching robes and began folding them 'just in case'.

"So Moony, how goes it?" Sirius queried as he plopped on his bed.

"Fine, I suppose. How are things progressing with Paige?" he replied.

Sirius grinned. "Fairly good."

Remus shrank his robes and placed them in his shirt pocket. "Alright see you out front." He was halfway to the door, when he turned to look at Sirius. "Padfoot, do you know what it is like to be... you know?"

"Boy do I ever, but I'm sure the girls have a potion for that?" Sirius rolled over on his side and patted his stomach.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Not like that Sirius. I mean, you've been with a lot of women and ..."

Sirius startled. "Oh, been there. Yes, quite nice there. I highly recommend it." he said with a wicked grin.

He blushed. "Not there, necessarily. Have you ever been in love?" Remus stammered.

"Sorry mate, I can't help you there. I was a little young when I went into Azkaban and things have been a bit slow lately." Sirius replied.

Remus looked apologetic. "Sorry, Padfoot." He stated quietly and reached for the door handle.

Sirius shook his head. "Don't be Moony. I'm just stating a fact."

"I know Padfoot, I just forget sometimes and then it all just comes flooding back." Remus said as he walked over to his bed.

Sirius sat next to him and slapped him on the back. "Well, aren't we cheery today?"

"Quite" Remus replied as he began to straighten a pillow case.

"Alright Moony, tell me about Kate." Sirius stated as he pulled the pillow away from Remus.

He sighed and started speaking in a sing-song voice. "She is a social worker and a counselor. She is a member of the Order of the Phoenix..."

Sirius cut him off. "No, tell me what you think about Kate."

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "She is very clever and witty. She is very sweet. She is brave, you should have seen it when she stood up to Severus." He paused for a moment remembering her actions. "And she is rather lovely. She is quirky but it adorable when I think about it."

Sirius nodded. "So you fancy her?" Remus just nodded and the animagus continued. "So I'm guessing by your earlier question, you are wondering whether or not you are in love with her?"

"Yes..No..I mean I can't be now can I?" He replied shaking his head.

"Have you ever been in love?" Sirius countered. Remus shook his head. Sirius patted him on the back, and headed for the door. "Then how do you know?" he called behind as he left the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus, Kate, Sirius, and Paige had gathered in the living room. Paige was on the phone with her office. "No, I'm sorry there is no way we can come in today. That's right, she's very contagious. Ok, see you in few days." She hung up and turned to Kate "So that is settled."

Kate smiled, "Thanks."

Remus moved to stand by Paige. "We should be going."

Paige nodded and grabbed her keys heading out the door. "Good luck guys" she said as she and Remus left.

Paige led Remus down to her car, a sporty gray four-seater, and got in. Remus instantly realized why she teased Kate about the 'Bookmobile', Paige's car was immaculate. He glanced in the back seat and noticed that it was very tiny. He felt a little claustrophobic, having gotten used to the expanded wizarding cars back in England.

Paige smiled, sensing his discomfort. "I know, it's small. I can't use magic on it because it's run by computers. I tried once, fried the entire system. My mechanic is muggle and I couldn't tell him what really happened, making me look like a complete idiot. You wouldn't believe the looks I got on that one. It almost cost more than the car is worth to fix, luckily I have full insurance and I told them that it was struck by lightning so they paid for it."

Remus laughed. "They believed you?"

Paige shrugged. "They did, the mechanic didn't. He knows me well enough to know that something probably happened that he wouldn't want to know about so he just let it slide. That's why I got the weird looks from him."

She backed out of the parking space and stopped. "So, what do you want to eat?"

Remus blinked a few times. "Um, breakfast?"

Paige giggled. "Alright, then we'll go to Denny's. Good breakfasts, I like the sausage slam, or whatever it's called."

They soon arrived at a green-roofed building down the street from where the girls live and got out of the car. On the way to the door, Paige glanced at Remus. "By the way, you look really nice in those clothes. The Green brings out your eyes."

Remus smiled and reddened slightly before mumbling a thank you and they went in. When they were seated, Remus saw a little notepad with pictures on a stand at the end of the table. He picked it up and flipped through until he found something of interest. He pointed to the hot fudge brownie and gave Paige a huge grin. "I'm getting this."

Paige raised an eyebrow. "It's desert." Remus's face fell and she shrugged. "Alright, whatever you want." The grin he had previously returned in full force, making Paige shake her head.

They talked for the next half-hour about the differences between American-English and English-English, with Paige telling Remus what words and phrases to avoid. His favorite was "freakin-A" which Paige didn't really know what the A stood for. She did, however, admit to using it quite a bit and said she didn't care if she didn't know exactly what it meant, making Remus laugh. She finally pouted and wrinkled her nose at him before crossing her arms and almost yelling, "If you want to know so bad, ask Kate. She's the smart one, she'll know the answer!"

He said he would and happily finished off his brownie, before thinking about Kate. "Paige, tell me about Kate. I mean, I'm... ah... well, I'm getting rather fond of her and I'd like to know a little more about her."

Paige swallowed the food she had been chewing and grinned. "You are? That's great because I've never seen her act the way she acts around you. You just made me very happy, I'm protective of her. Not as much as Jack, but I'm still protective." Remus smiled and Paige shook herself back into the right train of thought. "Anyway, what is Katie like. Well, first of all, she hates to be called Katie. I only use it when I want her attention, and I wouldn't recommend using it as I usually get hurt when I do. Ah, she's incredibly nice to everyone. She's also really silly once you get to know her. She's made up tons of songs that make the rest of us laugh."

Remus cut in. "Like what?"

Paige laughed. "Well, there's the Oedipus Song, Little Demon Foofoo, My Underwear is on Fire, and Never Give a Baby a Weed-Whacker, to name a few." Remus raised an eyebrow and Paige laughed even more. "I know; that one is one of the funnier ones. Getting back to your question, now. She doesn't date much, if ever. Um, she's an excellent fighter, I've had lots of times when I limp away from a wrestling match with her. Twice I've even had to go to the hospital, though that was deserved. She has a lot of control, over herself and subconsciously over others, that's because of her being an Alpha. She's probably the only person that can order me around and actually expect me to do what she says. Well, I'll do whatever she wants me to most of the time, anyway. Um, what else do you want to know about her?"

Remus thought for a minute. "What did you have to go to the hospital for? What did she do to you?"

Paige grinned. "Well, one time I had a broken arm. She did that when I accidentally popped her knee out of socket. The other time I had to get fifteen stitches, but I won't tell you why I deserved that one."

Remus's eyes went wide. "You two play rough, don't you?"

Paige gave an embarrassed laugh. "Well, yes we do. I'm used to it from having three older brothers who made me fight with them whether I wanted to or not. I'm also used to it from work as I have a pretty physical job where I have to defend myself and children almost every time I'm on duty."

Remus nodded his understanding and Paige hopped up to go pay the check. She then took him to her office, knowing that he'd be very successful there.

Remus gazed around at the busy atmosphere, noting how noisy it was. He followed her back through a maze of corridors to a small cubicle. The first thing he noticed was that the walls were covered in pictures, notices, and newspaper clippings from the local wizarding press. The next thing he noticed was that the pile of files on her desk had a big box full of silver sitting next to it. He backed up a few steps and Paige plopped down in her chair.

"Don't worry, Remus, they're in there permanently. I've put a charm on the entire box so that I'm the only one who can lift them out. I'm not doing that any time soon, you can sit down and relax now." She moved the box to the floor next to her desk and started sorting through the files.

Remus did as he was told and looked at the pictures adorning her walls. Paige sitting on 'Santa' at a party, Paige playing in the mud with a bunch of kids and laughing so hard that she looked like she was going to pass out from lack of exhaustion. Paige hugging a young man in his graduating robes. One picture had somewhere around twenty to thirty children in it and they were holding up a sign that said, "Thank you Miss Kitty." He laughed. "Miss Kitty?"

Paige looked back at him. "Huh? Oh, that's what the kids call me. They like my animagus form. The picture you're looking at is from the first grade class at the school here. Most of them have Kate for a case worker."

Remus smiled. "So, what exactly do you do here?"

Paige turned back to her sorting and said, "Well, I'm mainly security. When the headlines say something about a child being bitten by a werewolf, there's always some idiot who thinks he should put the child out of his misery. Someone from this department is there to make sure this person doesn't succeed. Also, we take care of the children of Death Eaters for much the same reason. We do have a few vampires here, but not many, mainly just the others."

Remus glanced at the box of silver. "So, this is what you meant about your job?"

Paige nodded. "Yup. Last week I confiscated a silver knife from a man going after a four-year old werewolf, to give an example. That type of stuff happens all too often around here and we're getting stretched thin to protect them all. People are too cruel and too ignorant, you know what I mean?"

Remus nodded. "That sounds about right. Things seem to be better here than in England, though. I never had people like you and Kate to look after me."

Paige smiled and Remus noticed a picture of Kate on the wall above her desk. He moved to look at it but Paige stood up and pushed him back. Remus stood up to his full height, towering over her and growled out, "Do you mind?"

Paige realized that she just challenged him and quickly dropped her gaze and took a step back. She hunched over submissively and spoke in a quiet voice. "I'm sorry, Remus. I just need you to promise me something before you look at that picture."

Remus startled and shook himself. "No, Paige, I'm sorry. What do you want me to promise you?"

She straightened up and blocked his view of the picture. "I need you to promise that you won't tell Kate that I showed you this picture."

Remus furrowed his brow. "Why? Does she have a boyfriend?"

Paige smirked. "Yes, I believe she does."

Remus dropped down into a chair and sighed. "I knew it. She's too good to be true. How long have they been together?"

Paige stopped herself from laughing. "Oh, about three days I think."

Remus looked up at her, something wasn't right. "When was this picture taken?" He had to hope that this wasn't a picture of the bastard who took his Kate or he'd go hunt them down.

Paige raised an eyebrow, thinking that he was catching on. "Four months ago."

Remus gave a relieved sigh. "Alright, I promise I won't tell her." Paige moved out of the way and Remus rushed to get a closer look. He almost laughed at it. Kate was wearing mary janes, knee-high socks, a skirt that would show everyone what God had given her if she moved at all. On top of that, she had on a white men's dress shirt knotted right below her breasts revealing a black satin bra that she was all but spilling out of. Her hair was in two pig-tails and had glitter covering her face. All in all, this picture made him aroused, possessive, and amused all at the same time. Next to her was Paige wearing a pair of skin-tight jeans with numerous strategically placed holes and the shirt she was wearing the morning that she came into the kitchen in her underwear. He raised an eyebrow, opting for showing how funny he thought it was rather than yelling out, "Mine!" for everyone to hear.

Paige grinned. "I made her go to a Rave. She lost a bet to Jack and as a result she had to wear that. Jack didn't specify where and she intended to stay at home in it but I dragged her out with me. Doesn't she look good?"

Remus chuckled. "Well, she looks something alright. Are we going to go talk to people?"

Paige sighed. "I suppose we must. I was having fun talking to you, too. I'll introduce you to a few people and then I need to come back and get some more paperwork done. The people in this office don't care about my little system and I just got everything the way I want it, so now I need to fill out a few forms and stuff. Is that alright with you?"

Remus felt a little nervous without Paige there to fill in the quiet times, but soon found four people interested in the Order. When she came back to get him, he was in the middle of a story about Sirius and James and the time they had charmed all of the suits of armor to follow the teachers around, singing love songs whenever they tried to teach a class. He looked up at her through the throng of women surrounding him and she winked. He turned back to his audience and said, "It took them a full week to lift that charm, meanwhile the armor had to be locked up in the dungeon so that the teachers could do their job." The women laughed heartily and Paige smirked. He stood up and said, "Well, ladies, it's been a pleasure talking with all of you. I need to go now, I think Paige would like to get some lunch and I'm famished."

Rachel, a tall woman with black hair pouted. "But Remus, I'll share my lunch with you."

Another witch nodded enthusiastically. "Yes Remus, if we feed you, will you stay?"

Paige came up at this point and looped her arm through his. "Sorry ladies, he's taken. We're going to go eat sushi and the last time someone brought in sushi Rita had to stay home in bed for a week with food poisoning." She flashed them a smile as she led Remus out of the room. They made their way down to the car and Paige made it inside before laughing. "Oh my, Remus! Those women loved you!" She laughed some more and batted her eyes at him. "Stay with me, Remus. I'll feed you" she said in a mocking voice.

Remus smiled. "They were just being friendly, Paige."

Paige shook her head. "Remus, if Rachel was any friendlier, she'd be in your bed." Remus blushed furiously and Paige patted his shoulder. "That was a lot more than friendly, those women were fawning over you."

Remus mumbled, "Were not." He didn't want them to be, he was Kate's and that's all there was to it. 'Why would they like me? I'm a tired old werewolf with gray hair and wrinkles, hardly something to admire.' He thought.

After lunch, Paige took Remus out to meet some of her friends and acquaintances. He spent the next several hours talking people about the Order and trying his best to feel like he fit in with these people before Paige mercifully took them home.

They were walking up to the door when Remus stopped. "Paige, normally I'm not this forward about things, but I'm concerned about your intentions with Sirius."

Paige smiled. "Yes?"

Remus ran his hand through his hair. "Yes. What exactly are they?"

Paige furrowed her brow for a minute and bit her lip. "Um, I'm not quite sure yet. I think he's great, but I don't want to rush into anything, you know?"

He nodded and stopped her from going inside. "I do feel that I should warn you," he said solemnly, "of the consequences of hurting a member of a lycan's family."

Paige smiled. "Do you now? Well, Remus, I don't intend to hurt him at all. I don't know what I intend to do with him, but I don't intend to hurt him. Is that alright?"

Remus nodded and they went inside the apartment.

A/N: hello, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this little adventure as much as I did. No? Oh, well then, SCREW YOU! Anyway, Prof has made me answer the reviews so here goes:

Sassafrass: Yes, I am happy. You are definitely inspiration, right up there with Denny's, Eddie Izzard, and Prof's roommate. No really, you are all inspiration for us. g

Surfergurl: Prof would like to know what your secret is, as she can't seem to shut up when she writes. I fully expect the next chapter to be just as long, considering Prof is the one writing it. We do have an advantage as far as writing long chapters goes since there is more than one of us, but Prof still can't write a short chapter.

Lightning Rain: Still thinking about dickies, eh? One track mind.

Now my mind on the other hand... Oh wait a minute, I've just gotten word that my mind ran off with the dish and the spoon to go join a popular children's story somewhere near Lubbock, TX. Can someone file a missing person's report? What do you mean, you can't file a Missing Person's report for a mind? It is too a person! Well, part of one anyway. You people just hate me 'cause I'm beautiful! Stop laughing!!!!!!!! Grr.

Stay tuned and read I Wanna Puppy! It will come into play later in the story, so you don't' want to be left out! I'll even give you the link, just copy and

K? Now go read it. It isn't very long and you'll enjoy it. Review it while you're at it, ok? Now, be a good little reader and copy and paste. Good reader, see you there.