Hello, everyone!!! It's us again. We've brought you yet another fantastic scene of intrigue, mystery, and excitement all the way from our computers!!! Never mind that mine is the biggest hunk of junk I could find, it still let's me type. YAY! Anyway, on with the show.
Chapter 11: Sinking the Flag Ship.
Paige and Remus walked into the apartment and spotted Kate and Sirius talking on the couch. Kate was laughing hysterically as Sirius spun a tale for her amusement. Sirius had his arms spread wide describing something. "And then he started flopping around on the floor like a fish shouting, 'You see this is why I don't eat pork!'" he turned to see Paige and Remus.
He smiled at Paige. "Oh! 'Allo guys." he said meekly as he met Remus's eyes.
Remus's face flushed with anger. "Sirius, what were you telling Kate?" he growled.
Sirius tried to look innocent. "About that one time in third year, you remember?"
Remus scowled "Yes." he hissed. "Why were you telling Kate?"
"Because it was funny." he said with a shrug.
Remus lunged over the coffee table at Sirius, who successfully dodged the attack. This caused Remus to crash into Kate.
She smoothed Remus's hair and kissed the tip of his ear. "Don't worry, I thought it was very noble of you." she whispered. He smiled at her and move to sit next to her on the sofa.
Sirius gave a sly grin. "No harm done, Moony?"
The werewolf sighed, "No harm done, Padfoot."
Paige quirked an eyebrow. "I would like to hear this story sometime with your permission of course." she said gesturing towards Remus.
He nodded. "Perhaps another time."
Paige turned to Kate. "So how did you do?"
Sirius bounded towards Paige. "It was bloody wonderful. We secured funding and training. And at least 15 recruits. Then we had lunch with Kate's Dad, who is a very interesting yet frightening man. And I met a balrog named Bret, and he's one of the recruits." He beamed as he told her of his day, getting more and more involved in the telling. Paige gave an amused smile and nodded as he babbled on. "Then we went to 7-Eleven and Kate bought me a super big gulp containing something called Mountain Dew." Paige shot Kate a death glare but Sirius didn't seem to notice. "And then we came home and started talking." he ended his recap of the days events and sipped on his soda.
Kate chuckled, "How did you two do?"
Paige gave a sideward glance to Remus. "Oh, we did just great. All the women at the office were fawning all over him..."
Remus interrupted, "I'm sure Paige is exaggerating."
Paige gave him an incredulous look. "If I hadn't been there, three of them would have literally thrown themselves at you."
Remus cast a nervous glance at Kate, who shifted uncomfortably on the couch. He let out a low sigh. "It was nothing, Paige." he said as he rubbed his temples. The last thing he wanted was for Kate to think he wasn't interested.
Paige giggled. "They just couldn't get enough of the proper English gentleman. 'Always so nice and sweet, no matter what', they said. I can just hear them now. 'Can I get you something, Mr. Lupin?'; 'How do you like America, Mr. Lupin?'; 'Can I crawl up in your lap and have your babies, Mr. Lupin?' It was absolutely mind boggling."
Kate let out a low growl and clenched her fists. "Why isn't that lovely?" she said through clenched teeth as she stood up and walked towards the door.
Realization flooded over Paige's face and she opened her mouth to rectify the damage, but Sirius nudged her. "Bad idea." he whispered.
She opened her mouth again to speak but then thought better of it. "Same idea." she whispered to Sirius as the pair looked on at the solemn pair of werewolves before them. Paige plastered a smile on her face. "Sirius, why don't we get dinner?" Kate, Remus, why don't you two bring each other up to speed on today's details?" She pulled Sirius to the door and the animagi quickly made their escape.
Remus turned to Kate as the door closed. "What is the matter?", he asked.
"Nothing, everything is wonderful. How was the office?" she enquired careful not to meet his gaze.
"Oh, it was wonderful. I managed to get a few recruits. Paige introduced me to some interesting witches that proved to be quite helpful." he said casually as he rose from the couch.
Kate grimaced. "Lovely, just lovely. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself and met so many potential new playmates." she pouted.
Remus let a small smile slip, She can't be jealous can she? I still might have a chance, boyfriend or no. he thought. "Kate, why don't you tell what is the matter? I know something's wrong, you are playing with your necklace." he said as he moved to stand next to her.
Kate let the chain drop back down to her chest. "Nothing's wrong, Remus. I'm just being immature." she replied.
"Really? I thought muses didn't act anything less than perfect." he purred as he played with her curls.
"Muse?" she asked as she blushed.
"Oh yes, most definitely a muse. You do inspire me, Kate. You have awakened things that I thought were long dead and I ... I ...", he paused for a moment as the color in his cheeks began to rise. He ran his hand through his hair and looked to the floor. "Anyway, I haven't seen Sirius open up like that since we were in school. And if his reaction is any indication of how well you work with children, you seem to be one of the most remarkable witches of your age." As he finished he tilted her chin up, and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "But you are avoiding the question, Miss. Why do you think you are acting immature?" he queried.
"I'm just a little jealous that's all." she bashfully replied.
"Jealous? Of what?" he laughed, while congratulating himself on winning Kate's attention.
"I don't know, half the women in Vegas throwing themselves at you is a good start." Kate mumbled.
Remus twirled a piece of Kate's hair around his finger. "Paige is a nice girl. I think she might imagine things occasionally because I didn't see a single woman express interest in me. And even if every woman in Las Vegas threw themselves at me, I would only really want to catch one." He gave her another gentle kiss.
Kate blushed but then paled, when she remember her meeting with her father. "My Dad wants to meet you tomorrow." she timidly stated.
Remus shrugged and pulled her into a hug. "Alright, you know I'd face far worse for you, fair lady."
Kate giggled and he stepped back to look her over. His face broke into a huge grin and he tapped her nose. "You look very snoggable at the moment." he said.
She pulled her face away playfully. "What?"
"I really want to snog you." he said as if explaining a defensive arts maneuver.
"Ok, what is involved in the snog process?" she tentatively asked.
Remus traced Kate's lips with his fingertip. "To begin, it is properly referred to as snogging not the snog process, which sounds slightly disturbing and highly unromantic." He directed towards the couch. "First, take off any restricting clothing." He removed his suit jacket and helped her remove hers, leaving her in a vest, blouse, and skirt and him in a vest, dress shirt, tie, and trousers. "Second, sit down." Kate sat demurely near the corner of the sofa, Remus sat next to her and smiled. "Now, you put your hands here." He placed her hands around his neck. "And I put my hands like this." He put one hand on her shoulder and the other on her hip. "Finally, just relax and think of it as highly involved kissing." he finished.
She opened her mouth to say something but it was quickly lost as Remus captured her lips. He leaned her back on the couch and ran his hands down her sides, eliciting a small moan from her. Remus took advantage of her parted lips and darted his tongue into her mouth as she moved her hands into his hair. He pulled back for a moment so they could catch their breath. He beamed at a flushed and breathless Kate. "That is snogging." he declared.
Kate giggled. "So it's making out."
He feigned a scandalized look for her benefit. "It is not making out, it is snogging. Uncoordinated hormonally driven boys, proper gentlemen snog the ladies they respect and desire."
Kate kissed the tip of his nose. "Really?"
Remus chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. "No, but it sounded better than saying more or less." he said. She laughed and resumed their kiss. The pair then proceeded to study the snogging process.
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Paige took Sirius to get carry-out from her favorite pizza place, Papa John's. After they had ordered they sat down and waited expectantly for the order to be called. Paige rested her head on his shoulder and Sirius laced his fingers through hers. She laughed. "You know, you ordered enough pizza to feed about ten people. Two extra large Works, is a lot of food."
Sirius frowned. "Hey, I'll eat all of it. Besides, the rest of you are getting one, too."
Paige giggled and shook her head. "You're right, Sirius. The rest of us are getting one pizza. You are going to eat two all by yourself." She closed her eyes and yawned.
Sirius smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. "I need to gain back a lot of weight. I lost so much when I went to... went north of London." He tensed up a little bit and Paige rubbed his belly in a comforting motion.
She chuckled softly. "Well hun, I don't mind. I just think it's funny that you'll eat that much pizza in one meal." Sirius relaxed and felt a bulge in his pocket. He frowned and tried to remember what it was when Paige jumped up and started talking to a young woman working there.
She didn't notice when he pulled his eruptor out of his pocket and smiled. 'Well, this will pass the time somewhat.' He thought and shot it into the air. Everyone seemed to stop and stared at him. Paige whipped around, her eyes wide and her face rapidly turning red. She looked at the cardboard tube in his hands and her mouth fell open. All of the workers burst into laughter and Paige forcibly pulled Sirius out of the store.
"What the hell are you doing, Sirius?!" she asked... well, more like demanded. She covered her burning face with her hands and gave a short laugh.
Sirius furrowed his brow and held up the cardboard tube. "I was playing with my eruptor. Is that a problem?"
Paige swiped the tube from his hands and nodded. "Yes, that is a problem. In a crowded restaurant where I know almost everybody, that's a problem!"
Sirius was slightly confused. "Why?"
Paige gave an incredulous laugh and responded, "Sirius, do you know what you were playing with?"
He nodded and sucked on his upper lip. "Yeah, a tampon." Paige grimaced and Sirius cocked his head to the side. "Paige, what's a tampon?"
She groaned in a mixture of frustration and embarrassment. "A tampon is something women use when they are on their period, Sirius! You shot one of those in the store and it landed in a pizza!"
His mouth fell open and his eyes went wide with shock. "You mean, everyone in there knew what that was?" he asked in a small voice. Paige nodded. "I'm not going back in there then."
She folded her arms and glared at him. "Orion Evans, you most certainly will! If I have to go get the pizzas, you have to help me carry them."
He blanched and acquiesced, he had never been so embarrassed in his life as when he went back in and all eyes were on him. Thankfully their order was up and they left a moment later. Before the door closed on their way out, Sirius heard all of the workers start laughing hysterically.
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Remus and Kate were still snogging when the lock on the front door turned over. The pair didn't seem to notice. Kate simply pulled Remus closer and ran her fingers through his tawny locks.
Paige opened the door and froze when she looked over the room and its inhabitants. Both Kate and Remus had removed their jackets and vests, and were in the process of making out on the sofa. "Well, this is just great. Kate gets off and I get utterly embarrassed at Papa Johns." she pouted.
Sirius spoke up. "Can I come in now?" he asked meekly.
She took a few steps forward and Sirius came into the apartment. He set the pizzas down on the library table. He looked toward the couch and stifled a laugh. "Paige, why can't we do that?"
She snorted. "Maybe because you flung a tampon across a restaurant tonight!" Remus shifted moving his hands to Kate's bottom, oblivious to the quarrelling of Paige and Sirius.
"I didn't do it on purpose." Sirius whined.
Paige glanced over at the pair on the couch and rolled her eyes, she picked up a throw pillow and flung it at Kate's head. "Hey snogging beauty, dinner's here." she bellowed as the pillow connected with Kate's head.
Kate pulled away from Remus. "Did you hear something?"
Remus reclined on Kate's lounging form. "No", he responded breathlessly before resuming their kiss.
Paige glared at the pair on the sofa and was about to say something when Jack barged through the front door. "Turtle shatting bastards!" he exclaimed as he slammed the door behind him. He froze as he saw the tableau on the couch. It seemed as if his little Katie; his sweet, innocent, little Katie; his sweet, innocent, virginal, little Katie was being molested by that rogue, that letch, that wolf in gentleman's clothing. Jack jumped the coffee table and forcibly broke the lovers' embrace.
"Get off her, you scoundrel!" he screamed as he pushed Remus on the floor and pulled his pistol.
It took a moment for Kate's passion drunk mind to register what was going on. She jumped to her feet and cast 'petrifictus totalis' on the pirate. Stepping around the now frozen Jack, she helped Remus up and turned to Paige. "When did you get home?" she asked.
Paige put her hands on her hips. "I think somewhere between the first and second orgasms."
Kate blushed furiously. "We were just snogging." she stammered lamely and returned her attention to Jack. "Before, I let you go, you are going to promise not to hurt Remus."
Jack blinked his ascent and Kate unfroze the pirate, who lunged at Remus yet again. "You bastard, I'm going to kill you." he snarled.
Kate sighed and cast another binding spell so Jack could talk but not move. "Alrighty then, let's try this again. Why are you trying to harm Remus?"
Jack scowled at the scoundrel that was molesting his little Katie. "I wasn't going to hurt him, Katie. Everyone knows death doesn't really hurt." he growled but Kate just shook her head at him. "Fine, because that pervert was trying to deflower you on the sofa." he snorted.
Paige giggled. "Sorry, I've already done that to the couch."
Kate rubbed her temples. "We were just kissing, Jack." she sighed.
He glared at her. "You should know better Katie. What would your father say?"
"He already knows we are sleeping together." she calmly replied.
"You miserable letch, you bastard." he roared at Remus. "Come over here and let me bite your throat out like a man! Cradle Robber! Enemy of morality and virtue! Fiend! Animal! Sex Maniac!!" Jack's face was bright red from exertion and rage.
Kate patted Jack's head. "Calm down or you will pass out." She crossed to Remus and took his hand. "I care very much for Remus and if I choose to be intimate with him, it's my choice. End of discussion." she asserted.
"But Katie..." the pirate whimpered.
"Don't 'But Katie,' me. Remus has been a perfect gentleman. Now grow the fuck up or stay out of my way." she growled and released the spell. Jack glared at Remus but knew enough not to challenge Katie when she got like this. He went to his room slamming the door behind him.
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Dinner went off without a hitch. Sirius didn't quite make it through both pizzas, though both he and Remus did make a sizable dent. Paige and Kate went to the kitchen to put the leftovers away and straighten up things, leaving Sirius and Remus in the dining room.
Sirius turned to Remus, who had a pained expression on his face. "What's the matter, Moony?"
Remus carefully cleared his expression. "Nothing, Padfoot. I just need to go to the lavatory."
Sirius nodded. "Yeah, pizza does that to me too sometimes."
Remus gave Sirius a nervous smile. "Right.", he said a little too brightly as he tried to stand up.
Sirius frowned. "No really, Moony. What's wrong?"
Remus sighed. "I would rather not say."
Sirius glared at the werewolf. "I'm your best friend and you can't tell me?"
The werewolf glanced at his friend and resigned to his fate. "Well, Sirius maybe you can help me. I have an extremely painful erection." he said bashfully.
Sirius swallowed hard. "And how exactly do you expect me to help with this?"
Remus furrowed his brow. "What do you do to make it stop? This has been going on for three and a half days now and the usual measures are not proving reliable."
"Well, there is the obvious measure." he laughed.
Remus grimaced. "Trust me, if I use the obvious measure any more, I'm going to come down with carpal tunnel."
"Remus, I'm surprised at you. You're not supposed to only use your hand, that's why you have the erection in the first place." he replied with a smirk.
Remus looked perplexed. "What else would I use?" he asked philosophically.
Sirius's eyes went wide. "Moony, didn't your parents ever give you The Talk? When a boy and a girl really like each other, they get completely starkers and share a 'special hug.'"
Remus groaned. "I know about sex, Padfoot. But I'm asking, what do you think of to get rid of an erection?"
Sirius beamed, "I think it's a good idea to get rid of them only if the situation is right."
Remus glowered. "Get real, Sirius."
The animagus was taken a back. "I am really serious! You don't want to be sinking the flag ship when there is a harbor waiting for you to dock." he lectured.
Remus moved awkwardly toward the door. "Fine, Padfoot."
Sirius sighed. "I think of Azkaban, friend. I think of Azkaban."
Remus gave him a small smile. "Thanks. I'll remember that." And the werewolf headed to the bathroom.
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Jack opted to have dinner in his room that night but rejoined the group as they settled in to watch another movie. This time it was Brahm Stoker's Dracula staring Gary Oldman.
Kate protectively arranged herself between Jack and Remus, sitting in front of Remus on the floor. Jack ignored the first quarter of the movie, opting to cast death glares at the object of Kate's affections instead. His staring became particularly bad when Remus began stroking her neck and shoulders.
His attention was drawn back to the movie though as a seemingly familiar face appeared on the screen. Jack cast a suspicious look at Sirius and ran to the kitchen. Looking through the cabinets, he retrieved a jar of garlic salt and returned to the living room. Every time the film or Paige distracted Sirius, the sanity-challenged pirate would toss a pinch of the powder on him.
Paige suddenly burst out. "Stop doing that Jack!"
Jack turned to Paige and gave an innocent look. "Doing what? I'm not doing anything, except enjoying this truly educational film."
"What are you throwing at Sirius?" she clarified.
Jack glanced back at Sirius. "Nothing, I'm just enjoying yet another documentary about the monsters of England, since we seem to housing an awful lot of them." He glared at both Remus and Sirius before stomping out of the room.
Wasn't that fun, boys and girls? I just love garlic salt in a love story, just seems to spice everything up. groan from audience What? You don't like my humor? Well then, I'll get on with reviews.
Sassafras: The creepy thing actually happened to Prof and I. It was at a coffee house in my hometown and then, when we left, they called us creepy, too. I almost did something to get us thrown out just so I could show those two bimbos who's creepy, but didn't. frown I should have. Rhett, unfortunately, ran off with a good friend of Rosi's, his name is Chris. But we'll tell him that you miss him the next time we talk to them.
Surefgurl, Lightning Rain, MissMoony, and Siriuszsecretlover; Thank you guys so much for the reviews! We love this stuff. Help us hit 100 by the time this is over. (Prof and I don't think that it's ever going to end, but we're just impatient)
Anyway, I know that some of you are wondering where the smut is, well, it's going to be coming up very soon. Some stuff in the ent chapter, although not all of you will appreciate it because I suck at writing smut. So, stay tuned and thank you as always for continuing to read!