Chapter Twenty: Life Will Go On
Author's note: I just realized I messed up-I forgot to upload one of the chapters. It's the one before the one I last posted. So go read chapter eighteen, Change the Past, before you read this one. Sorry about that! Because of the mix-up, I'll post a spoiler at the end.
The large crowd was silent as Brooke Scott was lowered into the ground into her oak wood casket, her name and date of birth engraved in gold.
Nathan stared at his brother. Lucas was carrying his son lovingly in his arms, but had a look in his face that made Nathan worried he was liable to throw himself into the ground with her.
Everyone seemed completely disbelieving. This was Brooke Scott, the highest of Manhattan society, one of the richest women. Only thirty-five. Dead. After giving birth to her husband's brother's baby. What a year it had been.
Among the gossiping crowd, there were true mourners. Karen, for one. Brooke's friends from her childhood in New Jersey. Nathan, of course. Lucas.
Most eyes were on Lucas, clutching his son, but Karen's eyes for once were on her eldest son in deep concern for him.
When the crowd arrived back at Nathan's apartment for the reception, Karen sought out her son, sitting alone in his bedroom.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
"Like the worst person alive," he admitted. Karen laughed gently as she moved to sit on a chair opposite his bed.
"You're not. In the past year, she's loved profoundly," said Karen.
"I'm the only thing that stopped her from that love. For ten years," he said.
"I'm sure they weren't wasted," consoled Karen.
"They were. We never should have gotten married. She cheated on me, I cheated on her…"
Karen Scott thought higher of her son Lucas that anyone else in the world, but she was also of the conviction that Nathan deserved canonization.
"You cheated on Brooke? With who?" demanded Karen. Nathan cringed. He felt guilty, discussing this at his wife's funeral, but it was time his parents knew.
"Remember Haley, Luke's date? She's the mother of my child," he said. Karen's expression softened. Somehow she recognized how deeply Nathan had loved his mistress, and how much he wanted her back.
"I have another grandchild?"
"Natalya Merryn James. I didn't even know she was my daughter until after she was gone. I promised Haley Brooke and I would divorce so we could be together, then Brooke told me she was pregnant so I couldn't. But by the time I knew it was Lucas', Haley knew I knew about her and Nati and she ran off. She's in California," said Nathan bitterly.
"I'm sorry. You really love her?" asked Karen. Nathan looked away.
"More than I ever thought possible. Just before I found out about Brooke we really got to know each other, and I got to know Natalya. If my whole life could be like that month, I think I could always be happy," he said.
"I wish you could have it. Really I do, despite what I feel about Brooke. Your father will be tickled. He liked the girl," said Karen. Nathan nodded, once again lost in his own world.
"And he won't even have to feel remorse. Lucky guy," said Nathan coldly.
"Your father isn't a bad person. He just doesn't know how to express himself very well," said Karen carefully.
"That's crap. He made Brooke feel inferior for ten years," said Nathan.
"Parents never believe that anyone is good enough for their children," interjected Karen.
"She was, though, she was. What if she really was the person I was supposed to be with? What if she was my soul mate, and now she's gone?" asked Nathan.
"Brooke is a beautiful, talented woman. But you've spent months pining for Haley. I think this is your grief talking," suggested Karen.
"Look at this, Mom. I've been carrying it around for ten years. She looked so beautiful. I looked so happy," said Nathan. Karen looked across at the picture in his wallet-Brooke was wearing a Vera Wang dress, her hair was up. She was looking ahead at the camera, her arms were around her new husband's neck. Nathan's eyes were on her. His arms were around her waist, pulling her close.
"Nathan, look at this," she said. She flipped back the picture to reveal one of Haley, Natalya on her hip. Nathan's eyes widened as he stared down at her, unable to take his eyes off.
"I keep wanting to hire someone to track her down, but it seems like such a mean thing to do," admitted Nathan.
"It is. You should wait for her to come to you."
"What if she never does?"
The question hung in the air for a moment. Karen wished desperately that she could guarantee her son that she would come back. But she couldn't. No one could.
"How could she not? She loves you," said Karen gently.
"She's thousands of miles away. She could be with anyone by now. Someone who isn't married, who could help support Natalya…"
"Don't. Do not do this to yourself. It won't help at all. Come on, we have to get back out there," said Karen, leading her son to the door and back out to the reception.
The two of them walked back into the main room. Lucas was standing by himself, shaking the hands of many curious well-wishers.
Nathan walked over to join his brother. Instantly the crowd warmed up to him, focusing their attentions on him again. He only lasted fifteen minutes of this before he and Lucas left again to be in the more private family room of the large apartment.
Lucas dropped onto an armchair and began to examine the contents of the table near him. He stopped when he encountered a small velvet box, and picked it up. Flicking it open, a diamond was revealed-a large, clear, beautiful one on a gold band. So completely different from Brooke's emerald.
"What's this?" asked Lucas. Nathan reached forward and took it from him.
"I bought it for Haley. I was in serious denial," he admitted.
"You were going to ask her to marry you?" asked Lucas in surprise.
"Yeah. As soon as she got back. Ever wonder why I bought such a big place?" Nathan looked around his new home. It was a penthouse, giving a spectacular view of the park and much of the city. Lucas nodded.
"I have to get a nanny," he said suddenly.
"Oh. By the way Haley's roommate, Peyton, came by the office the other day hoping to get a job. I didn't have one for her, but she's a good person," suggested Nathan.
"Peyton Sawyer? Yeah, she's cool. I'll call her. See if she has any experience in childcare," said Lucas. Nathan had felt awkward, meeting his lover's roommate. She'd obviously been awkward too, desperate for a job. She'd even run into one of her ex-boyfriends at the office, brown haired man Nathan couldn't name.
"How's the guy doing?" asked Nathan.
"Just great. He never had to see the world the way it was," said Lucas.
Spoiler: Don't expect Haley back anytime soon-if ever.