Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the Potterverse. Steve Wynn owned most of Vegas in 1996. And Ziegal and Troy are parodies of famous stage magicians though we can't tell you who. As always, though Jack has POTC parentage we claim all other responsibilities for him.
Warnings: Mild violence, sexual references, and emotionally unstable werewolves.
Chapter 14: What of the Children?
Kate closed the door behind her as Remus pushed Jack on to the bed. The male werewolf stood back as she stepped forward and began casting healing spells on the pirate.
When most of the major damage was healed or in the process of setting, Kate stood up and walked to the door. "I will be back in a minute, keep an eye on him.", she told Remus as she left.
"Bastard.", Jack snarled at Remus after the door was closed.
"What was that Jack?", Remus asked. He was furious over the incident in the living and would have been quite content to let dread pirate moron figure out ways to heal himself.
"You're a right bastard.", Jack spat.
"I'm not going to fight you, Jack.", he replied calmly.
"She's not yours, never will be. Why don't you just go back to your castle, Professor?", Jack spoke deliberately, annunciating every syllable.
Remus clinched his fists and took a deep breath. "You are mistaken, Jack. I have no intention of leaving Kate."
"She isn't going anywhere, you know.", Jack growled. "Kate belongs here, it's in her blood. When it's time to chose, she won't go with you.", Jack growled.
"Stop trying to bait me, Morgan.," Remus said in an almost whisper, anger oozing in every word.
"Why is the big bad werewolf going to hurt me? You haven't got it in you, you're the weak one. Always letting others dictate your actions, never standing for anything, just riding the fence so that everyone will like you. Yet you're never brave or strong enough to stand up and be disliked.", Jack sneered. Remus's breathing was heavy and he began to shake, causing the pirate to laugh. "You didn't even fight when they kicked you out of their little clique. If you would have said something, if you would have done something other than lay down and take it, maybe your friends wouldn't be dead."
Remus lunged at Jack and grabbed his shoulders, lifting him off the bed. "Listen to me you bloody toerag, you know nothing about me or my decisions.", he said in a tone that was steadily getting louder as he began to violently shake him. "Kate decides who she is with not you, you hear me, NOT YOU!!", Remus bellowed.
Kate stepped into the room and cleared her throat, causing Remus to stop shaking Jack and look at her. "Sorry to interrupt, but he does need to take this.", she said quietly.
Remus gave her weary nod and dropped Jack on the bed. He then moved to stand away from the pirate, who was moaning dramatically in pain.
"Oh Katie, he's a monster. You need to go some place safe. You need to be with someone safe. Why not go back to that nice Dale boy?", Jack pleaded.
Remus advanced on the pirate. "You horrid piece of shit, if you don't shut it right now…"
Kate placed her hand on Remus's shoulder. "Moony, don't let him get to you. Let me take care of this…please." He stepped back and snorted at the pirate.
Kate released Jack from the binding spell and handed him a flask. "For you information, I never felt anything for Jasper other than friendship and he is currently happily married to a very kind witch in Canada.", she said before glaring at him. "Now drink the darn potion."
Jack drank the potion and blinked a few times. He gave Kate a slightly glazed look. "Fuck Katie, what did you give me?", he asked in a dazed fashion.
"Two healing potions, a painkiller, and three drops of veritaserum.", she said casually.
Jack rolled over and faced the wall. "Veritaserum is a highly controlled substance, where did you get it?"
Kate sat next to him on bed. "Paige bet me that I couldn't brew it so I did and I conveniently forgot to throw it out afterwards. And technically only the sale and mass production is controlled, I can make small batches and give them as Christmas presents if I like."
Remus's jaw dropped. "You can brew Veritaserum?", he said in a whisper. Kate had to stifle a laugh at his reaction.
"Of course, she can brew Veritaserum. What do you think she's stupid? Do you think she's only worthy of baring your mangy puppies? What do you plan to do to her, have her barefoot and pregnant in some shack?", Jack growled.
Remus lunged at the pirate again but Kate blocked him. "He's trying to get a rise out of you. He wins if you get angry." Remus nodded and reluctantly backed away. Kate sighed. "Your plan is quite ingenious, Gerry, but kindly stop tormenting our guests."
"What?", Jack snapped.
"Oh, I don't know. Provoking Sirius into attacking you was a good start and now you are hell bent on getting Remus to hurt you. I only wish I knew why.", she said with a hint of sadness in her voice.
"Are you angry?", he asked.
"No, just disappointed, Gerry. Why did you do it?", she queried.
"I wasn't trying to bait Sirius, poppet. I was trying to make that…that creature angry so you would come to your senses and see him for what he is.", he said glaring at Remus over his shoulder.
"Why, Gerry? Remus hasn't caused any harm.", Kate soothed, rubbing circles on Jack's back. Remus let out a low growl and she pulled her hand away as if she'd been burned.
Jack rolled over and grabbed for Kate's arm, causing Remus to pull Kate off the bed and out of Jack's reach.
"Katie!!", Jack exclaimed. "That's what I don't want, you're not his. You are supposed to stay little Katie and if you keep this up with him, you won't be. You won't drop the world for me anymore and I won't be able to protect you from it.", he sniffed.
Tears pricked Kate's eyes. "I'm not yours, Jack. I'm my own, you know that.", she whispered and Remus wrapped his arms around her. Brushing the tears out of her eyes she continued "And like it or not, I want Remus to be a part of my life."
Remus pulled her into a full hug and kissed her cheek. "Shhh…dearest. It will be alright.", he cooed as he held her tight.
He looked over Kate's shoulder at Jack who was glaring at them. Remus smirked at the pirate and lowered his hands to Kate's bottom. His hands skimmed across her bum and she let out a soft sigh. Remus kissed Kate's neck and gave her arse a visible squeeze, before mouthing the word "MINE" to Jack.
Jack jumped off the bed. "Get your filthy paws off her.", he bellowed.
Kate stiffened in Remus's arms and he quickly pushed her behind him so he stood between her and the pirate. "Jack, Kate needs to rest. Get out.", he ordered.
"No!", Jack shrieked. "Get away from her.", he said as he pushed Remus hard in the chest.
"If you want her, you have to come through me. Now get out, she needs to rest.", Remus growled.
"Get away from her.", Jack replied.
Kate stepped forward, slightly shaking. "Gerry, I was serious about what I said in the front room.", she said quietly.
"You won't kill me, Kate. It's not in your nature.", the pirate laughed.
"No, Gerry, I won't kill you. I will, however, destroy all evidence of Jack Morgan.", she said in a low growl. Remus leaned forward to support her as she stumbled forward.
"What do you mean, Katie?", Jack asked, fear flickering in his eyes.
She moved carefully forward so she could whisper in Jack's ear. "I will destroy, Jack. He will no longer exist, every forged document, every record, every minute detail connected to Jack Morgan, age 35, head pirate at the Treasure Island resort and casino, will vanish. What is that old Marxist saying 'All that is solid will melt into air.'? Captain Jack Morgan will melt into air, because quite frankly if you want to act like Gerry, I think you should be forced to be him."
"You wouldn't.", Jack snapped.
"Try me." She paused for a moment and kissed his cheek. "Do you understand?" Jack glared at Remus and nodded. "Good, now please just go.", she ordered and stepped back from him.
Jack stormed out of the room like a petulant child and slammed the door behind him. Remus turned to Kate just in time to see her start to stagger and carefully directed her to the bed.
"Sorry, about that. He seems to have this whole Vestial Virgin complex, where I'm concerned.", she said weakly.
"Are you alright? Should I floo someone, or call hospital?", Remus asked concern flooding his voice.
"No, I'm fine. I haven't been reacting well to this batch of wolfsbane that's all. I usually make it myself, but we've been so busy Jack offered to bring some from Generation for me.", she said pulling her self to a comfortable position on the bed.
Remus helped her settle on the bed. "You can brew the wolfsbane potion?"
Kate nodded. "I have been since I was 24, it really is quite interesting stuff.", she said with a yawn.
"You are a Potions Mistress?", he asked slightly amazed.
She laughed. "Nope, I can't be certified because of my condition. Not to mention, that though I am very good at it and it is useful, it also is as boring as all hell." She stifled another yawn and fought to keep her eyes open.
Remus kissed her forehead and snuggled in close. "Rest now, you can tell me all about it later."
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Paige bent down over Sirius and put a hand to his forehead. "Are you okay?" she asked pensively.
Sirius grimaced shook so hard that he could barely speak. "That bloody arsehole...", he said before his voice broke and he covered his face with his hand.
Paige helped him up and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry, Sirius. Kate told me a bit of what he said and he was out of line. Maybe you need to sit down with all of us and tell us exactly what happened when you were framed. I trust you and didn't want to push the matter before, but I think you need to tell us all."
Sirius sighed into her hair and a tear slid down his cheek. "I'm not a murderer, luv. I don't plan on ever becoming one, either." He pulled his head away from hers to that he could look her in the eye and stood up to his full height. "Why did you automatically trust me, anyway? Are you mad, I could have easily lied to you and killed you in your
sleep!"
Paige giggled up at the man towering over a foot above her and replied, "Um, first of all, I'm not as harmless as I look. Second, I trust people more than I should, but in this case I relied on Moody's unfailingly thorough investigative skills." Sirius gave her a quizzical look and she elaborated. "He sent me a letter telling me that you were innocent, but he didn't give me any details. I trust him more than anybody, so his word is pretty much law for me." Paige kissed Sirius's chin, as it was the most convenient body part that she could reach without either the use of a stool or stilts. " And third, I could have just as easily tied you to my bed and tortured you for days on end. Kate wouldn't even ask questions about it; in fact she'd avoid it and ignore it at all costs."
Sirius laughed a bit finding it hard to imagine her doing anything outright cruel, and said, "Why wouldn't she do that, luv? Do you tie men up to your bed often?"
Paige looked up at him with a twinkle in her eye. "Not really, but that's not the point. Kate has learned the hard way never to ask what goes on in my bedroom, especially when a man's involved. I'm not a shy person and I will answer her questions, giving even the minutest of details. She normally ends up yelling obscenities at me to get me to stop, but I figure by now she's a grown girl and will need the information some day… Besides, to hear her yell anything worse than "Heck" is a rare treat for me."
Sirius sighed, his tension and anger towards Jack melting at her humor. "You tell her everything? I think Remus needs to ask you a question or two, then." Paige's eyebrows shot up and Sirius slapped his hands over his mouth. "Bollocks, you didn't just hear that. I didn't just imply in any way that Remus is in need of any sort of lecture on the female
anatomy, alright?"
Paige giggled helplessly against his chest and buried her face in his shirt. "You are just too funny sometimes, you know that? I won't say anything about it to Remus, I promise."
Sirius nodded, kicking himself for blurting that out to her. "So, what do you want to do today?"
Paige shrugged. "I dunno, we could split up like last time and go do some recruiting."
Sirius, having been a witness to Remus's little tirade, shook his head vigorously. "No, I think we should leave the two love birds alone today, let them get better… acquainted if you know what I mean?"
Paige smiled. "I know what you mean but that book says that werewolf couples almost always wait until after their first full moon together, so they will just have to get to know each other in different ways."
Sirius cocked his head. "Different? Are they going to pass us up for how far they are going to go sexually?"
Paige frowned. "Well, if you mean are they going to have sex before we do, I don't know. I haven't asked them what they plan on doing. We, at least, have started. That's more than I think I can safely say for them."
Sirius nibbled on her ear, eliciting a small growl from her and rubbed her stomach with his hands before moving them around to her back and then down to her butt. "We could just stay in today and spend the entire day shagging in your bedroom. I was known to be a freak in the Seventies, I can do things you have never experienced." He gave her a long kiss, which deepened when he squeezed her rear and lifted her up slightly.
Paige broke away, out of breath. "Wow. I was thinking that I could take you out shopping and show you around the town."
Sirius pulled her back to him, pressing his erection into her belly and responded, "Oh really? What are we going to buy?"
Paige rubbed the bulge through his pants and shrugged. "I dunno, I'll probably start getting more Christmas presents. Is there anything that you want?"
Sirius thought about it for a minute. "Oh I don't know, maybe a haircut."
Paige brightened up. "I'll take you to Paulo! He does my hair and he's really good." She pushed away from him and made a quick phone call. Sirius stared after her in mild amusement, she had certainly switched gears fast. Here he was, thinking he was going to get shagged and ended up getting her excited about hair care instead. For future reference, I really shouldn't talk about hair when I'm trying to get her in bed. He thought.
Paige came back into the room and smiled before kissing him on the cheek and pulling him out the door.
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Kate woke to find Remus sprawled out across both her and the bed, snoring gently. She moved to wake him, but paused a minute to study him. He had a kind face that was currently half-covered by her hair. It sounded cliché but he did look less burdened in his sleep, his relaxed state lessened the creases in his brow and softened the lines around his eyes.
She stifled a laugh as he turned and brushed his hair across the underside of her arm. His hair wasn't as long as Sirius's but it fell a few inches above his shoulders. Kate thought it suited him, softening his features.
Raking her gaze over his body, she gasped a little when she noticed how thin he was. Much thinner than he should be she thought worriedly. He wasn't skeletal but looked haggard and underfed. A very dangerous combination for werewolf, a creature that hunted based on need, the greater the need the greater the desire to hunt and kill.
She distracted herself from such unpleasant thoughts and continued her survey. His hands were graceful yet strong with long fingers. Remus's hands dwarfed hers, something that she found amusing. It made her feel dainty and delicate something that was truly exotic for her.
Her gaze had drifted down to his waist, when Remus cleared his throat. "See something you like?", he asked huskily. Kate blushed and he took it as a cue to continue teasing her. "Ogling, my dearest?", he chided.
She smiled and jumped out of the bed. "No, I was just admiring the scenery for purely educational and ascetic purposes.", she retorted and went into the closet to change.
Remus quirked his eyebrow. "So does that make me a work of art or a text book? Or perhaps an exhibit in a museum of oddities? I can see it now, come see Remus the Wolf Man." Though he was joking, his voice reflected an underlying vulnerability.
Kate poked her head out of the closet. "More like a study in the beauty of the male form.", she said with a warm smile before continuing to change.
"Why are you changing in the closet?", he asked slightly amused.
"I don't want you seeing all my less than flattering features.", she said through the door.
"I already saw you in just your knickers a few a days ago. I think I survived quite nicely.", he replied back to the door .
"Yes, but that was a very quick view.", she quipped.
"You mean there was a possibility of a longer show." Remus chuckled.
"No, there wasn't. I don't want to go around scarring you for life.", she shouted through the door.
"I will see you naked eventually, you know.", he retorted. "Or I hope will.", he said quietly to himself.
Kate emerged from the closet, looking as if she had stepped out of a Waterhouse print. She was clad in forest green dress robes that were edged with gold and copper embroidery. Her hair was pulled to one side in a tail, causing dark curls to cascade over her shoulder. She looked at Remus and raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess, I've mixed up my blush and face powder again."
He didn't answer right away, opting to gaze at Kate. "No, you look perfect. I just think I've got the wrong room, I didn't know Nimue lived here." She blushed and turned away. Remus stepped forward and reached for her hand. "You look divine in proper robes, you should wear them more often." He looked down at his trousers, dress shirt, and worn sweater. "I feel very under-dressed."
"Don't, I'm overdressing on purpose.", she said with a hint of irony in her voice.
"You do look beautiful.", he said solemnly. "Not to mention highly educational.", he added with a smirk. "Why are you overdressing?" He wrapped her in hug and tenderly kissed her cheek.
She returned his kiss. "If I look the part of the sorceress, my father is less likely to treat me as a little girl. And trust me if Jack's little performance today is any indication, we are going to need all the leverage we can get."
"Come on, buck up, Kate. We will present a united front and everything will go perfectly." Kate gave him a wary smile for his attempt to calm her. "I mean it, I will not let anything go wrong.", he said confidently. "Why don't you make sure the coast is clear? I don't think I can handle any more of Gerry today."
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Rose awoke that afternoon to a silent house and an empty bed. She went to the bathroom for a quick shower and returned to get dressed. She quickly threw on her undergarments and pair of jeans before turning to Jack's closet to steal a shirt. She grabbed his favorite black t-shirt and hugged it, before slipping it on. She then padded barefoot into the kitchen.
Jack stood clad in front of his smokeless grill, clad in a pair of jeans and a black poet's shirt. Everyone and a while, he would take a piece of unidentified meat from the garbage bag on the floor on the grill and place the cooked pieces of meet in a bowl off to the side. He did this, while softly humming the theme from Felix the Cat.
"What are you doing, Jack?", Rose asked slightly amused by the spectacle Jack made.
Jack grinned at her over his shoulder. "Cooking", he replied, turning back to his task.
"I guessed that. What are you cooking? It's not penguin again, right?", Rose asked worry creeping into her voice.
Jack sighed and turned around. "A man cooks penguin once… once mind you, and he's marked for life."
"Once?" Rose asked incredulously.
"Alright, three…five times but it was a really cold winter, Rose, and I had no idea when I was going to be able to break out of Sea World." Jack said as he pulled more meat from the garbage bag.
Rose watched him place a cutlet on the grill. "Is that fur?", she asked.
"It's all legal, luv. Don't worry. Remember don't ask, don't tell…like the military.", he said with a wicked gleam in his eyes.
Rose giggled and stepped behind him, wrapping him in a hug. Jack stiffened in her arms and pulled away. "Careful, luv. I've gotten rough up a bit by some unsavory characters today."
She gasped and stepped back concerned for her lover. "Are you ok?", she asked.
"I'll survive, blossom.", he said bravely.
"Are Paige and Kate, alright? What happened? There weren't any lemurs involved were there?", she queried.
Jack snorted. "Paige and Kate", he spat "are fine. And you know damn good and well, that I haven't been near a lemur since the court order in May."
"Well, that's good.", she said relieved. "We wouldn't want a repeat of the whole fruit bowl incident. So what happened?"
Jack gave a heavy sigh. "It's too horrible to tell, luv. I wouldn't want to darken you view of the world, my shining star.", he said as he turned to face her.
She reached out and stroked his arm. "Tell me what happened, Jack."
"Alright, you forced it out of me, my dearest blossom. I was attacked.", he said with a shrug and returned to grilling.
Rose gave an agitated sigh. "Just tell me what happened, Jack. I'll understand, promise."
Jack put down the tongs and turned, crushing Rose to him. She let out an uncomfortable squeak and he loosened his grip a bit. "Oh luv, it was awful. There were 27 of them, 9 hula dancers, 9 wizards, 8 pirates, and a monkey. They hurt me, Rose. Kicked me, punched me, flicked my nipples, such horrors no man should ever experience. They all hurt me, except for the blasted monkey." Jack took a deep breath and continued. "No, the monkey was far worse. He mocked me, Rose. The stupid blighter just stood there mocking me with his hat and his eye-patch. They all mocked with that monkey, Rose. They named him Jack. They named the sodding monkey Jack.", he finished tears filling his eyes.
Rose patted his back and he continued, shaken but bent on telling his story. "After the fight, I returned home. That was when the worse of it happened, I could have lived with the nipple flicking, the kicking, the punching and even the monkey taunting but this was far worse. Sirius beat me and choked me in the living room, without good cause I might add. And Remus, that wanker, just stood there laughing, laughing at my pain.", he sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve.
Rose kissed his cheek and smoothed his hair. "So you and Sirius got into a fight?", she said gently.
"Yes, if you want to condense it like that.", he said indignantly.
"So what did you two fight over?", she whispered into his ear.
"They were being mean to me, Rose. They started it, the bloody gits.", he whined.
Rose chuckled. "So let me guess, you finished it?"
Jack stuck out his chest. "Of course, luv."
"How were they being mean to you?", she said with a frown.
"It was horrendous. Sirius beat me and then Remus, that scoundrel, he flung me into Kate's bedroom and threatened me." He then looked at the floor. "AndthenKateyelledatme.", he said so quickly and quietly that Rose almost didn't understand him.
"Why would Kate yell at you if Remus and Sirius were beating you up? They were obviously in the wrong.", she said slightly confused.
" 'Cos those black hearted devils are controlling her with the cunning use of Wizarding mind control devices, which they hide …they hide in their pants.", he said conspiratorially.
"Mind control devices in that reside in their pants? Are you saying that Remus is controlling Kate with his pe…", she was stopped from finishing her question when Jack covered her mouth with his hand.
"Katie is not interested in that bloody beast's naughty bits. She has been misled, misled through the use of that lecherous wolf's manly wiles.", he said and gently lowered his hand.
"Manly wiles?", Rose asked, trying desperately not to laugh.
"Yes, manly wiles. He's turned our Kate against me. He's sleeping with her.", he choked. "But that's not all. Yesterday, he tried to deflower her on the sofa. What would have happened, if I would have had small children with me? How do you explain that? What of the children, Rose? What of the children?", he pleaded.
"Jack there are no children.", she responded matter-of-factly . "Kate's a grown woman, if she wants to be blinded by manly wiles, then that is her choice."
"No, it isn't.", Jack snapped. "He fondled her buttocks today. He squeezed her bum, right in front of me. And what does she do?"
"Squeeze him back?", Rose asked carefully.
"No!", Jack screamed and began rocking back and forth.
"Ok, she didn't squeeze him back.", Rose quickly backpedaled. "What did she do?"
"Right.", Jack said noticeably calmer. "She didn't push him away, she just let him play with her bottom like she didn't mind his dirty, stinking paws on her virginal flesh; like he wasn't sullying the temple of her chastity. She is a healer and a teacher; not some 10 sickle trollop to be felt up by pervy old men.", he stated his anger reflected in his voice. "And then to top it off, that scurvy knave tells me that she was his, she was his. Can you believe that, Rose?" Jack said tearfully.
"Jack, maybe Kate likes Remus.", she said thoughtfully.
"Of course, she likes Remus. He's quite likeable." Jack admitted grudgingly. "But she likes him too much for my liking and that can only be due to his clever use of manly wiles."
"Maybe she likes him for more than his wiles." Rose purred, kissing Jack's neck. "I like you for more than yours." Jack let out a roguish laugh and scooped Rose up into his arms, carrying her to their bedroom.
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Jack and Rose snuggled under the covers, sated and very happy after their little romp. Eventually, Jack began to doze, slowly drifting into sleep.
A fierce knock sounded at the front door, causing Jack to jump. "Honestly, I don't know who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop!", he shouted.
Rose glared at him from where he had knocked her on the floor. "Go get the door, sweetheart.", she asked as she pulled herself back up on the bed. Jack nodded and headed out the bedroom door. Rose giggled. "Jack, aren't you forgetting something?"
Jack turned and smiled at Rose. "Of course, luv." He walked back to the bed and kissed her cheek. He then proceeded to walk to the front door naked as the day he was born.
He opened the door, flashing the two magicians on the door step. "Ach, put vat avay.", the blonde magician snapped.
"Yes, it is like a snake like thing erupting from a bush like thing.", the brunette magician concurred.
Jack shrugged and wrapped a blanket around his waist. "What do you lot want?", he growled.
"Ve vant, zee Rose girl. Ze one zat takes care of ze animals.", spat the blonde.
"And who are you then that want my precious Rose?", Jack queried.
The blonde struck a dramatic pose. "I am Ziegal and zis is Troy. And ve are Ziegal and Troy, master illusionists, magicians, and polka enthusiasts. Now fetch ze Rose girl, you pathetic ren faire reject." Ziegal snarled.
"Now hold up, mate. Only three people are allow to call me pathetic, and you are not Kate, Rose, or Stevie Wonder. So bugger off, you sequenced Eurotrash arsebandits.", Jack growled.
"Ooh feisty!!", Troy squealed resulting in Ziegal smacking his arm.
"Shut up, Berliner Bimbo.", he whispered to Troy and then turned to Jack. "You vill bring us ze Rose girl. Now!", Ziegal ordered.
Before Jack could comment, Rose entered the living room fully dressed. "Ziegal, Troy, what do you want?"
Troy stepped forward tossling his ebony locks. "Fetch us ze Rose girl", he ordered Rose.
Ziegal stepped forward and elbowed Troy. "She is ze Rose girl, you putz." He turned to Rose. "Oh, Rose girl, so good to see you. Now ve need you to go to Australia. So come on." Rose stared at the magician for a moment and then Ziegal started herding her towards the door. "Now, off you get. Come on, Rose girl. Australia vill not be there forever."
Rose stopped in her tracks. "Vy…I mean…Why do you want me to go to Australia?"
Troy turned to her. "Ve need ze hedgehog for our new show."
"There aren't any hedgehogs in Australia. Hedgehogs are native to Europe not Australia. More importantly, I just got back from San Francisco an you promised me two weeks paid vacation. So, no." She said putting her foot down.
"But ve need a specific hedgehog, and she lives in Australia. So as of now all vacations are canceled until ve get our solution our hedgehog shortage." Ziegal said sternly.
Jack stood next to Rose. "She ain't going nowhere, savvy?" He moved to escort Ziegal and Troy out of the apartment."
"Please, Mr. Pirate. Rose must get us our hedgehog." Troy said and grabbed Jack's arm. "Vow, you are tight. Tight like a tiger, grrowwll."
Jack jumped away from Troy and hid behind the petite form of his girlfriend. "Go away!!", he shouted before huddling behind Rose.
"Rose girl, if you do not go ve vill fire you.", Ziegal warned.
Rose shrugged. "Okay, fire me."
"No Rose girl, you must get ze hedgehog. If you do not, ve vill cry." Troy threatened with big puppy dog eyes full of tears.
Rose sighed and walked towards the door. "Sorry, but I'm not going. Now get out."
Ziegal stepped forward and glanced between Jack and Rose. "If you do not get ze hedgehog, ve vill vork on ze other act. Ze act with ze nine hula girls, eight pirates, and ze spectacular monkey named Jack."
Jack gasped. "No, not them. Not the monkey!"
Ziegal stepped towards Jack. "Yah, ze monkey!"
Jack turned to Rose. "Please Rose don't let them. It's a monkey, Rose, a monkey."
"Yes, Jack it's just a monkey." Rose said non-plussed.
"No Rose, it's not just a monkey. It's a Jack monkey, that monkey haunts me. It will be mocking me, pretending to be me. Maybe it will become me. Oh Rose, don't let me be a monkey. Don't let them embarrass me with a monkey.", Jack cried on knees in front of Rose.
Rose shook her head. "I will be down in twenty-minutes."
Ziegal and Roy lifted their arms in the arm. "Excellent!!", the said in unison and headed down the stairs.
Jack grabbed Rose around the waist and hugged her. "Thank you, Rose. Thank you. I don't think I could handle being embarrassed by a monkey."
A/N: So ends yet another exciting chapter of Las Vegas is a Scary Place. Remember, boys and girls being embarrassed by a monkey is bad. But now on to more important business.
Prof. Pendragon: Several people have mentioned the Remus/Bob experience in their reviews, it will be coming up in Chapter 16, along with some lime flavored goodness concerning Remus and Kate.
hornhead: Lime flavored? Like margaritas? I want one!!! Prof, can I have a lime flavored margarita?
Prof. Pendragon: Yes, you may, though it's a Virgin Margarita on FFN. Though Chapter 16 will have a hint of lemon Absolut on Adult Fanfiction.
Hornhead: Cool, enough to get drunk off of? There's no other reason to drink, really.
Prof. Pendragon: Perhaps, you might just have to read to find out. Because knowing is half the battle, the other half is action, and then there is maintaining power. Wait, knowing is a third of the battle.
Hornhead: But I don't like to battle. If I did, I would go and get my sword and make people let me drink.
Prof. Pendragon: On that sentiment, perhaps you better answer some reviews and I'll hit Vons for some hard cider.
Hornhead: Sounds good, get me some Jack Daniels. (I'm a girl who likes the traditional stuff) Anyway, here I am rambling on about alcohol when there are innocents to corrupt!
Letdown: It's The BeautifulLetdown now, huh? Good name. Anyway, now you know why Jack was acting the way he was. Tryping is fun, but we might want to save that kind of behavior for AFFN, as it might get all of us in trouble for FFN. (If you're confused take a look at your review)
KatrinaMacGonagall: Did you mean where Paige is going when she walks in, sees the guy she's been sleeping with practically raping her roommate (at least that's what it looked like), and leaves? If so, then she wasn't going anywhere but getting away from that mess. It was pretty funny, wasn't it? "I'm going to love doing this to you, Jack." Hehehhe, I'd leave too.
Sassafras: You're just going to have to wait and see for the question about Remus, but it will be answered. We even have that part written already. Actually, we have a lot of it written already. What part of Texas were you in?! Geez, that's really weird. I don't see that many weird billboards in Vegas! Half naked women smiling from ear to ear, but no condoms to go or anything.
Lightning Rain: Sir Cadogan can be seen better doing whatever he's doing to that girl in the deleted scenes. He's having 'fun' I guess. Sirius didn't attack Jack, he responded physically to Jack's verbal attack. That's the way I see it, anyway. Stupid Jack, he's an asshole. Actually, Gerry's an asshole, but Jack works too.
Thank you for reading this, everyone! Please please review, good or bad, we like reviews. Also, for those of you who are in to this sort of humor (If you're not and you've read this far you have issues) go read Prof's story Santa Claws. I've read what she has posted so far and it's great. Also, there's a challenge at the end of it for those of you who want to get into the Christmas spirit, Harry-style. I like that phrase, Harry-style.