Reviewer Reply notes:

Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or Star Trek TNG

to Innortal don't worry about that! There will be plenty of nameless ensigns getting killed in this story. It wouldn't be star trek without that.

To all those who gave positive reviews without questions or suggestions I am happy you like this.

TO JWM I wasn't sure if anyone would like it so that is why I posted just an intro to the characters so I can test the water so to speak instead of writing a story no one likes.

To ksim3000 I totally forgot about Q. I will most likely try to insert him in this story somewhere. The borg will also be in here somewhere. I don't know much about the Cardassians or those "five lights" so I would need to know more before I could use that in this.

I am trying to avoid getting predictable and being predictable isn't good. For example Naru is the voice of reason. Why you ask? Because the voice of reason is the one being tormented by the insanity that surrounds that person. Shinobu can't cook? If she could cook a delicious meal would that be funny? No but if she couldn't cook but became for the lack of a better word psychotic it would be a whole lot funnier. .

Love Hina: The Next Generation

Chapter 2

Naru Meets the Crew

In the admiral's office

"Ok, next on our list is our meeting with Commander Narusewega. A knock is heard on the door."

"Come in."

"Please, sit down. You are being charged with assaulting a senior officer."

"But sir, he was being a pervert."

"Do you have proof of this? You know physical evidence like witnesses and video or audio tapes."

"No, but. . ."

"No buts if you don't have any evidence then I am going to court martial you but since I am feeling generous today. I am going to let you off the hook but there is one catch."

"What catch?"

"You are going to have to serve as commander aboard the Hinata Sou which is being run by Captain Keitaro Urashima."

"No way, sir. I won't do it."

"You do know that assaulting a senior officer doesn't exactly win you any medals here and especially any friends here either."

"Well, your choices are clear. You serve as commander of the Hinata Sou or you go to prison and probably become someone's bitch. It is all up to you now."

That man, Captain Urashima is nothing but a pervert but I will be better off then being surrounded by stone walls and criminals and who knows maybe all of the rumors are false.

"Ok, I accept your offer."

"Now, I don't want to hear any complaints about him and his shipmates so keep him occupied with his missions."

"Please come down to the christening ceremony and come see your new ship. You are dismissed." She leaves the room and heads to the hanger bay for the christening ceremony.

"Hey, she is actually going to take that shitty job, what a sucker!"

"Great, and now we can get some peace and quiet for once."

Meanwhile,

"Captain's log star date uh star date uh. . ."

I got such a fucking hangover! I guess I shouldn't have drank all that sake. I don't remember a thing. Last thing I remember, I was in the bar drinking some sake and the next thing I wake up in a bed with a beautiful, naked girl. I don't know what happened but I did something right. Too bad I can't remember it at all.

"I don't remember what the star date is. Hey, does anyone know the star date? Anyone at all?"

"Why don't you try using a calender, you stupid idiot?"

"And why don't you take your head and shove it up your ass?"

"The nerve of some people. . . no respect at all. Now what was I doing before I got interrupted by that asshole. Oh yeah, I was writing in my Captain's log about today's upcoming events."

"Today is the christening ceremony of the USS Hinata Sou D and I can hardly wait. The ceremony is taking place at ten AM. Hey, what time is it by the way?" He looks at his watch.

"Oh shit. It is 10:00 am now and I am not even ready at all! I better put something on and hurry." I am so going to be late!

A half hour later. . .

They were in the hanger bay when the new ship sat. All of the future crew of the ship were there and it was a welcome sight seeing their new ship after taking so long to build, it was finally finished.

"Hey where is that guy?"

"Who?"

"You know, Captain Urashima. He is supposed to be here at 10:00 and it is 10:30."

"Hey, here he is now."

Captain Urashima walked on the catwalk and went up to the nose of his new ship.

"If you will do the honors and christen your new ship. The crew gathered around the new captain as he was about to break the bottle over the ship to christen his new ship. With this cheap bottle of crappy sake. . ."

"Hey aren't you supposed to use a expensive bottle of good sake? Narusewega interrupted the captain."

"What are you, fucking mad? Kitsune would be pissed if I used one of her good bottles of sake and besides I can get rid of this shitty crap I bought when they didn't have the good stuff."

"I will now commence with the christening. He takes the bottle and slams it into the ship but nothing happens."

Hmm. Why didn't it break? Lets try this again. He does it again but nothing happens. damn it! It isn't working. Ok, this time I am really going to hit it. He takes the bottle and swings it back far to really give it a good hit but instead smacks it into somebody's face.

An ensign gets smacked in the face and falls off the catwalk and starts to scream as he falls.

Keitaro cups his hand to his ear to listen to the thud of the guy landing on the ground.

"Hey, you just killed that guy, what is your fucking problem?"

"Hey, he shouldn't have been standing there." Narusewega was about to punch him for that when she got interrupted.

"I am all right. Just a few broken bones, uh I think my skull is cracked, uh internal bleeding, and I am in a lot of pain and I think my spleen just ruptured but other then that, I am perfectly fine.."

"Do you require medical assistance?" Keitaro yells to the man.

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea."

"Are you fucking stupid or what? He just fell god knows how many stories and you ask that?"

"He better be dead soon."

"And why the hell would that be a good thing, Keitaro?"

"I don't have medical insurance just death and dismemberment. I can't afford another accident. They cancelled my worker's health insurance for excessive accident claims."

Am I going to have to put up with this gross incompetence? This day just plain sucks.

Ok, I am going to try this again. He swings the bottle two more times but continues to have the same problem. Ok, I have had it with this bottle. He really, really, swings the bottle back but this time it breaks when he smacks it into Narusewega's face.

He looks at the broken bottle and turns to where Narusewega is standing. She is covered in sake and looking mighty pissed not to mention he just ruined her formal uniform..

"Oops, uh sorry." She wound her fist and smashed him in the face and he went flying face first into his ship leaving an imprint of his face in the hull of the ship.

"Well, it is not exactly what I had in mind but it will work."

The captain assembled the crew aboard the ship and they started to introduce the new commander to the crew.

"Ok, this is our new commander. Her name is Commander Naru Narusewega. My name is Captain Keitaro Urashima."

"This here is Lt Commander Seta Noriyesu, science officer." He just looked at her for a moment.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I am just undressing you with my eyes oh was there something you wanted to say to me?"

Oh joy, I found another pervert, yay.

"And this girl is Lt. Commander Motoko Aoyama ship security"

Naru stretches out her hand for a handshake and accidentally grazes her chest.

She pulls out her sword and sends a ki blast her way and she goes flying towards the viewer screen. She then walks over to the commander. "Touch me like that again and I'll kill you." She then gives her the sign language symbol for I am watching you and then walks back to her post.

What a bitch. This is shaping up nicely. My crew consists of two perverts and a bitch so far.

"Next we have. . ."

A short blond girl jumps up and tackles Narusewega to the ground.

"Hello, my name is Lt. Kaolla Su, ship engineer. Wow, you have such a huge chest and oh yeah, a nice ass too."

"Get the fuck off me you sick fuck. Oh great another sick demented pervert." Oh my day is just getting better and better. Narusewega sends her flying but she lands on her two feet.

"Su, what did I just say about that?"

"I know Captain, no seducing the commander until tomorrow."

"That's right besides there will be plenty of time for that."

"Yay." Su screamed

Oh, I am so starting to regret that decision right now.

"And here we have Shinobu Maehara. She cooks all of the meals for the Hinata Sou's crew."

"Hello Commander Narusewega. I wish you the best of luck on your new assignment as our commander."

She seems so nice and polite. Based on what I have seen so far, there is something wrong with this picture.

"Next we have our ship counselor Haruka Urashima."

She looks like a total asshole and a bitch too.

She walks over to Narusewega and starts unleashing a fury of punches and kicks.

"What the fuck was that for?"

"So you think I am a total asshole and a bitch well you are going to see a lot of that if you keep that shit up for long."

"How in the hell did she know that? I didn't say anything. Oh great a person who reads minds."

"Next we have our ship doctor Mutsumi Otohime and her little sidekick tama the turtle."

"Hello Commander Narusewega. I am the ship doctor aboard the Hinata Sou and a good friend of the Captain."

Suddenly, Tama moved closer to Commander Narusewega and had that glint in her eye. You know, that glint you see before someone does something wrong. He then ripped open Narusewega's shirt and exposed what was underneath to the entire senior staff. Unfortunately, Naru decided against wearing anything underneath so there was nothing left to the imagination.

"Keitaro, Seta and Su stared deeply at her now exposed chest and exclaimed "Nice!"

She quickly grabbed her shirt and started buttoning it up quickly.

"Good job, Tama." That voice came from the Otohime's assistant Kanako.

Tama has a keen sense of a person's personality and she would only do that to someone who deserved it and you probably did something wrong today.

She was being followed by Kuro who moved itself closer to Naru.

"What a cute cat, she said to herself as she attempted to pet the cat."

When Naru made contact with Kuro's fur it jumped up on Naru and started scratching the hell out of her.

"What the fuck? Get off ow you mother fucking cat! She threw the cat which Kanako caught."

"Kuro obviously doesn't like you and neither do I . I saw what you did to Keitaro. You embarrassed him in front of star fleet command and his fellow officers. I will never forgive you for that!"

Oh great my crew is nothing more then a group of perverts and assholes and I thought this would be better then prison. I have the feeling that I am going to have a hard time adapting to working with such insane fucked up people. I am so screwed!

Author Notes: if you didn't guess it already Su swings both ways if you know what you mean an is just as perverted as Keitaro. Tama and Kuro are going to give Naru lots of hell and so will Kanako. If you always wanted to see Naru getting tormented on a daily basis then this is the story for you. Please read and review.